Ed. Note: All thoughts, actions and diatribes below represent the utter despair that is the Corndogg.  Apparently he’s a “Luddite and a wimp who cannot upgrade his work computer so he can actually post during the day.”  Well said, Corn.

Yo Superman, Ever Had a Sample of this Lebron-yte?
Cleveland @ Orlando, 8:00pm  TNT

Apologies for the bad pun (see Suns/Spurs entry below for reasons). I want to first give a heart fist pound to TNT for putting on two amazing games tonight that will be amazingly watchable, debatable and live-bloggable.

That being said, OMG am I excited for the Williams/Nelson matchup tonight. Two of the hottest points in the league, both on fire from the field and both the absolute linchpins in their respective team’s current success. I love Nelson because he wants to beat you up and curb stomp you. Mo just wants to look pretty… oh so pretty when draining clutch threes. Then, he would like to curb stomp you.

If Mike Brown doesn’t have the Cavs slashing to the lane on every possession and trying to knock Dwight out early, I will be shocked. If not, expect HOWARD SMASH ME LOVE DUNK BASKETBALL HOWARD SMASH to come out in full force tonight. LeBrown (intentional) goes Transformer tonight.

And yo, SVG, hook Reddick up with some burn tonight. Not my kind of burn, but, you know, actual playing time. Once in my life I would like to see JJ mismatched on Lebron as he clears out the lane. I love the kid, but I need a good laugh right now.

1 Shot, 1 Beer and a Soul Draining, Stick in the Eye, Stomach Curdling, Back Breaking 3 Pointer at the Buzzer – Before I Go.
San Antonio @ Phoenix, 10:30pm  TNT

Without getting too much into it, I had to watch (live) Duke get outcoached by Dino fracking Gaudio with 2.8 secs last night. Then, I watched Florida State coach Leonard Hamilton “coach’ his team to not guard the fastest player in college basketball so he can run unguarded down the floor with 3.2 secs left and beat them. My life is utter hell right now.

Good thing for me is, that when the Suns, who come out gunning in the first quarter and hold on to a 9 point lead at the half, get slowly and subtly beaten in the second half by the Spurs tonight and then Bruce Bowen (since it can’t be Mason again and God is really out to get me) nails a 3 in the final seconds to send another nauseating, paralyzing defeat to my sports psyche. Duncan is on fire and will continue to abuse Amare. Hack-a-Shaq will ultimately come out in the 2nd quarter as the Spurs cut a 16 point lead to 9 by the half and Parker will make at least eleventy billion uncontested, right handed layups.

Scripting Suns/Spurs games is the exact opposite of being a writer for “Lost.” You always know whats gonna happen  But, you keep hoping. Well, let me tell you something, hope is sucking right now. So are my teams. Prove me wrong, Terry Porter.