This Waaaaay, Is-a-Water-Slide-Away-From-Me-That-Takes-You-Further-Everyday (Phoenix at Washington):

Even though Moore is more convinced of Amare’s’ potential successes as a one-man wrecking crew,  I’m still depressed to see just how far down the ladder he’s fallen with Shaq on the roster.  At one point it only helped, and I hoped, that the shift back to the four would open up some kind of Pandora’s Box of basketball goodness.  And it did.  It really, really did.  But every Suns game now seems like a ticking clock to the end of the Stoudemire movement in Phoenix (It’s not even a capital M, and it’s certainly not an era.  Damn you, Steve Nash!).

Oh yeah, but that won’t stop him from ripping the Wizards a new one tonight.  Meanwhile, the Wizards, Clips, and maybe the Grizz are the most tragic teams in the league, completely unable to spark ridiculous stretches of win percentages that far exceed their season averages.  Pity.

I Have Been Performing Feats of Strength All Morning. (Atlanta at Miami):

When the world is just beginning to take notice of just how good this Heat team can be, we’ll be the first to tell you that nothing’s changed.  They’ve been this way the entire season.  And there’s nothing you can do to change that…unless you have a baseball bat, Dwyane Wade’s address, and a sense of sadism, OR if you happen to have a starting caliber center on your hands that you’ll be willing to part with for the paltry sum of one Shawn Marion or pennies on the dollar.  Either way, y’know.

But I seriously fear for Atlanta’s playoff hopes.  They are so damn fun to watch and play so well at times, but I still have the sneaking suspicion that they’re going to need to go through the Celtics if they want to get out of the second round.  Otherwise, you’d have to think that the Magic or Cavs would just rip them apart.  You don’t have to think that, but if you don’t, you’re probably wrong.  So there.

In the Land of the Center-less, the One Centered Team is King (Houston at New York):

Of course it doesn’t matter tonight, because Houston will be without Yao Ming.  Figures.  So in a sense, you’ve got a small, well-trained team that knows how to run their offense, sometimes decides to play some semblance of D, and other times forgets to get off the bus, against a team that relies on a still-injured T-Mac, Ron Artest mininovas, and consistent, heady play from Rafer Alston.  The Rox almost blew it against the Pistons, and to be honest I wouldn’t be surprised if they fall apart tonight.  It’s one thing to play the way they do with Yao, and another entirely to try to get by on gimpy McGrady jumpers and establishing Shane Battier as an offensive cornerstone.  But injuries are the Rockets, and the Rockets are injuries.

CALL FROM: UNAVAILABLE (New Jersey at OKC):

Could be a great game, but instead it’ll fall somewhere in the middle.  Moderately exciting if anybody would bother to watch the Thunder, especially since Westbrook might be the player best equipped to stop Devin Harris in the entire league.  I mean that.  Of course that Chris Paul fella is pretty good too, but in terms of a fully-developed Westbrook versus a fully-developed Paul, I think I’d actually side with Westbrook.  /conjecture

The point is, in the modern NBA the point guard is king.  The rules are made to his benefit, the whistles are typically his friend, and apparently some stat-keepers might be as well.   So it only makes sense that a game like this boils down to a point guard battle, when scorers like Carter and Durant have the ability to cancel each other out, and Jeff Green is essentialy an amalgamation of production from the Nets’ supporting cast.

I’M A MONSTER! (Philadelphia at New Orleans):

No one loves Elton Brand anymore.  :(

Do You Believe in Life After Redd? (Minnesota at Milwaukee)

No.  Did you really think I was going to put the song on here?

The Bucks are in serious trouble, and I never thought I’d be saying that against the T-Wolves.  But Kevin McHale might actually know how to get some decent burn out of his roster, even if that means giving Sebastian Telfair the reins at times.  The Harbinger is harbinging, Foye looks natural, and Kevin Love is finally making me not look like an idiot when I told a friend of mine that he would be better than O.J. Mayo.  All is right in Minnesota, and just saying that feels so wrong.

Ain’t That a Shame (Portland at LAC):

Terrible game.  Then again, they usually are when the poor ol’ Clips are involved.  I’m sure DeAndre Jordan’s mom is eating it up, though.  Blazers are good, Clips are not, Blazers are healthy, Clips are not, Blazers are not the Clippers, Clips are…well, not.  Game over.

Thing That Concerns Me About Chris Bosh’s Career

There are certain players that when you watch them play or see an interview with them or read little bits on them, you naturally begin to assume that someday they’ll win a championship.  Now, these can often turn out wrong (Ewing, Barkley, Malone, duh) but more often than not, this gut feeling is proven true.  Dwyane Wade is a recent example.  For whatever reason, it just seemed like he would win a title, and he has. 

Another player for whom that has assumption has recently been validated is Kevin Garnett.  For years, all anyone could say is that if Garnett were surrounded by a team of real NBA players (rather than the Gugliottas and Peelers of the world), he could win a title.  They were right.

This has been an unnecessarily long-winded introduction, so here’s the point:  the line drawn from Kevin Garnett to Chris Bosh is a short and straight one.  Statistically, they’re early production is eerily similar.  Physique-wise there aren’t two more similar players that don’t share the same genes.  Just like Garnett, Bosh has that feel.  The feeling you get that, yes, someday this guy will be an NBA champion.  And certainly, their games are closely aligned as Bosh has said that Garnett is his favorite player and that looked to him for inspiration on how to play.

Now, this is all well and good.  Bosh plays like Garnett, Garnett was destined to get a title, Garnett got a title.  This is a logical path for Chris Bosh.  However, for years, Garnett was plagued by criticism that he couldn’t step up in big games, and that he’d prefer to score from the perimeter instead of mixing things up inside.  Bosh is quite the same, as he gets a lot of his scoring on fade-aways and mid-range jumpers.  Will the same thing happen to Bosh?  Will he be attacked for being “soft,” just because he’s modeled his game on Garnett’s?  Garnett was mentally tenacious enough to realize that criticism was erroneous, and I hope that Bosh will be too.

I understand that this sounds pretty silly after Bosh goes for 31 and 8 in a win, so forget I mentioned it.  Nonetheless, I hope that people will remember Garnett’s redemption when they get down on Bosh.

Thing That Is Sort of Related to the Above Commentary

I just received Gunnin’ for that Number 1 Spot via internet digital video disc rental service Netflix (late pass, I know).  Watching it last night, I can’t help but wonder about the nature of success.  The players involved came from either terrible circumstances (Donte Greene, Tyreke Evans) or really nice circumstances (Kevin Love, Kyle Singler), with seemingly none of the Elite 24 coming from a typical middle class setting.  I’ve read Outliers, so I get that environment is just as important to a person’s achievement as talent is; therefore I ask, are these polar opposites the only situations that lend themselves to success?

It makes sense that the underprivileged would succeed because they work hard to overcome their disadvantages, and it makes just as much sense that the more fortunate would succeed because they have more opportunities and amenities throughout their development.  It makes sense that the underprivileged would succeed because they work hard to overcome their disadvantages, and it makes just as much sense that the more fortunate would succeed because they have more opportunities and amenities throughout their development.  But what if a kid’s situation doesn’t push him either way?  What if the kid grows up “normal?”  Is this actually a totally bizarre disadvantage in terms of athletic excellence? 

Thing That I Don’t Know Why It’s Related to the NBA, But It Is and It’s Good

This mislabeled video (M.O.P. is in this song, but not listed) shows a lot of NBA dudes playing at Rucker.  The ball is pretty stellar, and the song is hot fire.

via 2dopeboyz

Thing I’m Laying Off of for a While

Eddy Curry jokes. 

Name a player who’s gone through more trying situations in the last two years.  Ergo, I’m not joking about him at least until the gay sex scandal trial starts. Eddy and his family is in our thoughts and prayers.

Just when you think your fortunes might be turning around, Bucks fans, your dreams of playoff berths and marshmallow pies get shat on: Michael Redd will be out for the remainder of the season with a torn ACL and a torn MCL.  Yikes.  It certainly doesn’t bode well for 8th place Milwaukee, who protects just a half game lead from the Nets.

This season, I thought the Bucks would be the Bucks.  But they haven’t been; Scott Skiles has been half-head coach, half-witch doctor, turning the worst team in defensive efficiency a season ago into 13th in the league today.  Considering the team’s primary roster move was losing Mo Williams, that’s a pretty good turnout.  But while the Bucks have also been middle of the pack on the offensive end, that’s been in spite of the 14 games Redd missed earlier this season with injury, not because of it.  They managed to scrape together some nice wins without the Man With a Hitch in His Shot, but to expect the team to do the same for the remainder of the season without the light at the end of the tunnel (read: an eventual Redd return) might be asking too much.  New Jersey seems awfully hungry, and and both New York and Charlotte remain within striking distance.  Redd’s presence on the offensive end for the Bucks is a calming one, facilitating the flow of the sets, spacing the floor, and keeping Charlie V’s head from exploding when staring eye-to-eye with the endlessness of his own offensive potential.  He puts Jefferson in the role he’s supposed to be in, makes Ridnour’s job easier, and obviously opens up a lot of things for the Bucks’ attack.

But woe is Milwaukee, and Redd is gone.  Who picks up the scoring load?  Well no one can, in totality.  But a bigger role for Sessions couldn’t hurt, and if Villanueva can maintain some sort of consistent offensive output that would be glorious.  I’m not hopeful.  Things are going to be rough.  But I’m not crying.

And if I am crying, it’s not because of you, Michael Redd.  It’s because I’m thinking of a friend of mine who is dying, that’s right, dying.

Thing That Became Apparent During the Magic/Celtics Game

The Magic aren’t ready to contend for a title this year.  This doesn’t mean that they’re a flawed team at all, but the fact of the matter is that this team is just not a serious title contender.  And really, it’s not that surprising; the areas in which they failed last night are exactly what people have had concerns about.

First and foremost was the dismal three-point shooting.  For a team that relies on the three-pointer as the basis of their offense, shooting 32% is a death wish.  Not only do the Magic usually score about 30 points off threes (a third of their offense, by the way), that spacing gives Dwight Howard a chance to operate down low.  Shooting comes and goes, but if the three-pointer is that consequential to your team’s success, there needs to be another way to score in big games.  And that’s the second problem.

Dwight relies so much on his superior athleticism and strength, that when he faces an equally as brawny center he can get taken out of his game.  Last night, part of this was because the Magic weren’t hitting outside, and therefore, Howard had to contend with the Celtics’ help defense, but in those situations the Magic need to be able to rely on their star to get himself going.  Howard isn’t a traditional center, and his postups are often ineffective.  Somehow, Van Gundy needs to find a reliable way to get Dwight the ball moving towards the hoop, which is when he’s at his best.

The Magic are a good team, but when the shots aren’t falling, they aren’t near the upper echelon of the NBA. 

Other Thing That Stuck Out to Me During the Magic/Celtics Game

I know Stan Van Gundy isn’t a fashion plate, but that shirt he was wearing was ridiculous.  Stan Van with his jacket off during halftime was one of the most harrowing sights I’ve ever seen.

Be thankful he has his jacket on in this picture.

Last Thing About That Magic/Celtics Game

JJ Redick had a pretty decent game, all things considered.  The only Magic with a positive +/-, Redick seemingly replaced Courtney Lee in the second half.  JJ is easy to hate.  Very easy.  But he can be a decent supporting player.  Him and Eddie House guarding each other last night was like watching the video for “Ebony and Ivory.”

Things You Expected to Happen That Happened Last Night

Celtics 90, Magic 80

Lakers 117, Wizards 97 

Click here for Part I.

Milwaukee Bucks: It’s easy to dislike Richard Jefferson. He’s not spectacular. But he’s not a hustlejunkie, either. His PER’s below the league average. He’s not dishing dimes or ripping boards and he’s not scoring buckets and buckets. But what is the answer, then? Michael Redd’s not doing anything out of the normal for him. Ridnour and Sessions are pretty excellent, for sure, but not enough to put them into the 8th spot in the East, below .500 though it may be. There are guys who simply facilitate the offense, who you can run the ball through without being worried about it dissolving into a four-seconds-into-the-shot-clock-jumper or a reckless pass over the head of the corner shooter. These are the guys you need hockey assists tracked for. And Villanueva is actually gaining steam. I don’t know what that means but I like it. Oh, and Luc Richard Mbah A Moute. He’s glorious. Like Wayne Newton.

Minnesota Timberwolves: Fine. I’m going to say this, so we can get on with it. But I want it made known that the odds of this holding up are very small and it does not erase a career of ineptitude and tragic periods of inactivity.

Kevin McHale has done a very good job as head coach.

Great, thanks Minny. Now I have to go vomit into a trashcan for an hour like a Project Runway casting reject.

New Jersey Nets: They were fun for a while, eh? It’s almost as if a team that is built for 2010 and a move to Brooklyn that’s never going to happen and is led by Vince Carter is somehow flawed. Odd.

New Orleans Hornets: The greatest trick the devil ever pulled was convincing the world he didn’t exist. But at the same time, convincing the world he didn’t exist also made him infinitely less scary. The same can be said about the Hornets. I’m going to say it again. Letting Pargo go was hubris, and they continue to pay for it. Still, if this team can keep this pace and wait a few more months to make their push to the ceiling, they’re going to come out of the weeds like a viper. The locusts aren’t scary until they’re feasting on your bread.

New York Knicks: I’m a little stunned that more people aren’t positively stunned at how good a job Walsh and D’Antoni have done. They’re choking the life out of Marbury, to the point he’s talking to Greece. The worst case scenario is they’ve gotten a locker room cancer out of the locker room and they pay him the exact same amount he would have made on a full buyout. They’ve liquidated every longterm asset and still have David Lee in the hole to make a move to acquire more. They’re more competitive than they ever were in the Isiah era. They’re fun to watch. David Lee is a star. I’m pretty sure the seats are more comfortable at the Garden. But really, when you think about it, D’Antoni is way overrated. Right. Got it.

Oklahoma City Thunder: I don’t watch them. I’m sorry. I like Westbrook. A lot. But then there are lineups that have Watson and Collison on the floor. And that makes me sad at the world. So in the interest of my own mental health, I’m waiting till they pull the trigger at the deadline on the leftover bigs they have floating around. You should watch them. I mean it. Tell me how it is. But I’m just allergic to that squad right now, even if I really like the sauce they’re using.

Orlando Magic: They lost to the Celtics! Abandon ship! They’re obviously flawed!

Get a grip.

There is a question the Magic need to answer, and they can’t until the playoffs. How are they going to react when a team punches them in the mouth in the first two games of a series? If Hedo and Lewis put them on their backs and swing back, these guys could push for the Finals. If they fold up and die, well, conventional wisdom wins again. And that’s always fun.

Philadelphia 76ers: Pretty much.

Phoenix Suns: Not bad. That was how Bright Side described them to me the other day. Which is pretty much dead on. They’ll beat most teams, lose to the really good ones by a lot, get beat by a scrappy bad team every now and again, and lose in the first or second round of the playoffs, unimpressively. Ben thinks they’re close. And he’s right. Unfortunately, the destination is moving further away rather than closer. I like JRich’s game, but I feel like right now they have a bunch of players with no connection, no identity, and no cohesiveness. They’re just trying to win with talent and all that fundamental stuff they kept losing to. Except the Spurs actually have an identity, a system, and a schematic. Phoenix is throwing spaghetti at the wall to see if it sticks while the kitchen burns down.  But don’t worry. They still have Amare and Nash to pin the blame on before they recognize that Steve Kerr has piledriven this thing into the molten core of the Earth.

Portland Trail Blazers: If you’re standing inside the circle, and Greg Oden catches the ball two steps outside and moves forward to the basket, and you have to stop him, what goes through your head? The Creation of Adam? “The Hardest Button to Button” ? “Maxwell’s Silver Hammer” ? The final scene of Death Becomes Her? Meanwhile, I think it’s time to start considering trading Blake. Blake, who I’ve never been big on, has started rolling around in my brain as the sort of player a lot of teams could use. Memphis. Houston. Miami. He’s been quietly very good for them, and they have Bayless starting to emerge. This team is completely undisciplined on defense. But who cares? The Miles debacle is over, for better worse, much much worse, and they have a serious shot at the 2nd round if they can land the Jazz or the Nuggets. Also, LaMarcus Aldridge, the Big Nifty, deserves better than he’s getting from the internets.
Sacramento Kings: How do you kill that which has no life?

San Antonio Spurs: They don’t have it. I can understand all the arguments to the contrary. And I do think Roger Mason is a terrific upgrade, a resharpened set of blades on the tank. And I’m really impressed with George Hill and how Popovich is playing fast and loose with him. But I can’t buy into them having the energy for a seven game series in late May. Ginobili alternates between his usual brilliant self and laboring at times, particularly defensively. Pop’s figured out he can still use Bown in small bursts, but he’s going to be overwhelmed in the playoffs. They’re a terrific team. But there’s no championship coming this year. And this is a team I’ve always refused to count of it.

Toronto Raptors: Bargnani. It’s terrific he’s alive. Bosh is his usual self, but if they don’t get this turned around, he’s out fo there. It’s kind of funny but still very sad that all the fans clamored to get rid of T.J. Ford and yet it’s a glaring hole for them this season with Calderon on the shelf and a lack of a legit 2-guard. They had no option, but it’s still kind of amusing, yet tragic. I feel bad for Jamario Moon.

Utah Jazz: As long as they get to play all their playoff games at home, and the series are 11 games apiece, they’re definitely going to make it to the Western Conference Finals before they lose.

Washington Wizards: I think this team could do something important, if winning games weren’t the objective. They’re actually pretty good at lots of things, just not, you know, basketball type things.

Dear Marc,

Gosh, we just don’t know what to say. You’ve meant so much to us over the past two years. We’ve been through a lot, you know? Drafting Mike. Drafting JCN. Waiting for Mike to get good. Getting beat by the Hornets. Watching Mike throw passes away. Getting beat by the Spurs. Watching JCN turn his nose up at the barbecue (what do the Spanish know about pork, anyway?). Getting beat by the Rockets. Listening to Pau complain. Getting beat by the Mavericks. Trading Pau. Getting beat by the Lakers. Trading Pau for a ton of assets. Getting beat by the Clippers. Getting made fun of by everyone in the league for trading Pau. Getting beat by the Nets. Bringing in Marc. Getting beat by the Knicks. Drafting OJ(Am). Getting beat by the Thunder, who didn’t even exist when we got into this with you. Getting beat by everyone.

You get the point.

Look, it’s not you. It’s us. We suck. We’re terrible. We’re last in FG% defense. Okay, that may have been your fault. But still.

We need to be free. To figure out who we are. Maybe later on, we can see if it works out, but you know that never works. Hey, come on, don’t be sad. We have lots of great memories. Remember when we won, those 11 times? Remember how excited everyone was at the start of the season? Those were good times.

Look, this is awkward, and we have some people we need to see. We need to be with someone more mature, someone who understands our needs. Like scoring more points than the other team.

It’s not your fault. We’re hard to be with. Keep in touch? No, don’t call us. That would be awkward.

Security will show you out. Tell your mom thanks for dinner, and sorry about the cat.

XOXO

The Memphis Grizzlies

PS: There’s no reason to wear that “Scapegoat” shirt around.

A brief collection of personal memories regarding Alonzo Mourning, who officially hung it up today.

Thing I Learned During the Grizzlies/Bobcats Game

First and foremost, this was a nearly unwatchable game to these eyes.  These beautiful, piercing blue eyes.  These eyes which have witnessed many a great basketball game, they were not pleased.  Not only was the game not in HD (white whine), but I should have known what I was in for when the stands were about 30% full.  C’mon, Memphis.  Have a little faith, the Grizzlies might be salvageable.  There is definitely talent on the Grizzers, but there are numerous redundancies in the backcourt which should be addressed no later than this offseason. 

Coming from Phoenix, Marc Iavaroni knows as well as anyone that a point guard can define a team’s identity.  So why can’t he settle on one?  It’s apparent now that OJ Mayo is a two guard, so he’s out of the equation, leaving Iavaroni the choice between Kyle Lowry and Mike Conley.  Through the first half of the season, the two guards have played nearly identical minutes, and have nearly identical stats.  Conley takes better care of the ball, but Lowry is a better defender and distributer.

I lean towards Lowry, because he’s the only Grizzlies guard who can get to the rim.  Conley can’t, and Mayo seemingly won’t.  Lowry can break down his defender due to his strength (like vintage Marbury) and then he can find either Mayo on the perimeter or a wing or post slashing to the basket.  However, based on how they’re built, the Grizzlies should be a running team, and Conley excels in transition.  But Iavaroni has the Grizzlies at 22^nd in the league in pace.  Not cool, Marc. 

Wasn’t he brought to Memphis to run?  The team is tailor-made for an uptempo game, and they even enjoy a small modicum of success under the pointless running of Tony Barone.  Either speed the game up, and play Conley.  Or play how you are and let Lowry run the point.  You can’t have it both ways, because it’s not working.

Thing I’m Hypothesizing

LeBron is obsessed with Kobe. 

The FreeDarko book proved that LeBron is most effective at the end of games when he drives to the basket.  In fact, he’s essentially the only guy who wins games that way.  But ever since Kobe stuck the long 3 against the Spurs, LeBron has fallen in love with his jumper.   He’s tried winning the game against the Bulls with a long 2, when he could have surely beaten Luol Deng to the basket.  He shot jumper after jumper after jumper against the Lakers and last night he relied on hitting a few pull-ups to get himself going.  That’s fine.  We’ve seen LeBron drift before, and with West out, the Cavaliers lost a creator who can get LeBron the ball closer to the hoop.  I can understand that, but there’s definitely been an uptick in jumpers since that long 3 by Kobe.

But last night, LeBron took his obsession a little too far.  Remember against the Magic, when Kobe hit that lefty leaning jumper off a spin move from the right elbow?  It was an amazing shot.  The kind of shot only Kobe makes.  LeBron isn’t having that.  He tried the exact same shot against the TrailBlazers, right down to the spot on the floor.  He missed badly, and it shows that he’s definitely watching Kobe and trying to prove that he can do anything that Bryant can.

Thing LaMarcus Aldridge Missed the Point On

Henry linked to the article where LaMarcus Aldridge said he was watching LeBron, but Nate McMillan said, “no, you aren’t.”  I’m going to guess that McMillan was talking about LeBron impacting the game on both sides of the ball (since he said that), and not that LaMarcus Aldridge should start wearing a headband.

Thing That is My Favorite from the Robert Swift Wikipedia Entry

Swift is the only white boy to enter the NBA straight out of high school.

Well, he IS the savior.

Things You Expected to Happen

Charlotte 101, Memphis 86

Boston 98, Miami 83

New Orleans 102, New Jersey 92

Cleveland 104, Portland 98

Lakers  108, Clippers 97

Detroit 95, Toronto 76

Things You Didn’t Expect to Happen

Houston 108, Utah 99

New York 114, Phoenix 109

Milwaukee 133, Dallas 99

Things No One Cared About

Washington 110, 107

Oklahoma City 122, Golden State 121

Bynum Goes Nova

I could complain about the Clips not having Camby. I could complain about letting rookie DeAndre Jordan get 23. I could complain about how the Lakers always seem to have huge nights after I decide to poke them with sticks. But really none of that is fair to Andrew Bynum, who scored 42 points on 24 shots, nabbed 15 boards, and had 3 blocks. That’s just sick. Sick I tell you. That, my friends, is Nova.

I’m sorry, Andrew. Please don’t hurt me anymore.

Part I of II on thoughts on the NBA on the subject of the league on the halfway point on continuing uses of the word on. On.

Atlanta Hawks: Engine 1 fires, Engine 2 flames out. Engine 2 fires, Engine 4 won’t start. They have enough power to outrace teams like the Bulls, but the can’t seem to fire on all cylinders. Bibby’s keeping them afloat (say that to yourself slowly), but Josh Smith can’t seem to catch fire, Horford’s been injury-plagued, and they’re spotty defensively. Sometimes they’re brilliant, sometimes they are a sieve, particularly inside. Horford has to play to his level if they’re going to make noise in the playoffs. This team is a pack of horses without shoes in a concrete jungle. They can run with the fastest, but it’s not good for them long-term.

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