Robert Swift.  Through him, anything is possible.  We are all created in Robert Swift’s image, and he lives in all of us.  Trust me, it has to be true.  I saw it on Wikipedia.

The following is a word-for-word reprint of Robert Swift’s wikipedia page as of 8:52 CST on January 21, 2009.  It may be changed by the time you read this, but I haven’t changed a word:

“Robert Swift (born 0 A.D. in Nazareth, Israel) is an American professional basketball player for the Oklahoma City Thunder of the NBA. He stands 7 feet 5 inches tall and plays the center position.

[edit] High school

During his time at Garces, the small Catholic high school broke into the USA Today top-25 high school basketball team rankings. Between his junior and senior years, Swift transferred from Garces to Highland High School, and then just before his senior year, he transferred once more into Bakersfield High School. This move provoked a hearing by the California Interscholastic Federation that initially declared Swift ineligible for the 2003–04 season; however it was later overturned and he played his senior season.^[2]

At Bakersfield High School, Swift was tutored for 2 and a half years by NBA Hall of Famer George Gervin, where “The Iceman” Gervin taught him the mechanics of the finger-roll, Gervin’s trademark. Once he had mastered the finger-roll technique, the sky was the limit for Robert Swift. In his first High School game vs rival Potts County High School, he unveiled the masterful finger-roll move, it was like watching poetry in motion. Swift finished 18 for 21 from the field, including 3 3-pointers, and the game winner with 0.6 seconds. The only 3 shots he missed were blocked. 2 weeks before the NBA draft, Swift tore his ACL in a Jetski accident. Ever since then, he has not had the leverage to push off of the ground to get the balance on his finger-roll. The Sonics still drafted him 12th overall in hopes of regaining his immaculate finger-roll back. For the propechy has not yet been fulfilled in the NBA.

[edit] College

In 2004, Swift bypassed college and opted for the NBA, turning down an offer from USC. Swift is the only white boy to enter the NBA straight out of high school.

[edit] NBA

Swift was selected by the Seattle SuperSonics in the first round with the twelfth overall pick in the 2004 NBA Draft. In his first season he played in 16 games, averaging 4.5 minutes, 0.9 points, 0.4 rebounds, and 0.4 blocks per game. In his second season, under the direction of coach Bob Hill, he started 20 out of 47 games, averaging 41 minutes, 32.4 points, 15.6 rebounds, 4.7 blocks, and 63.3 steals per game.

In 2005, Swift teamed up with teammate Johan Petro to create the formidable duo: The contrasting twin towers. Combining Swift’s gingerly finger-roll of mastery with Petro’s French sense of creativity and all-around excellence, the two led the Supersonics to a 78 win season, despite all-stars Ray Allen and Rashard Lewis being injured for nearly the entire season due to freak accidents involving Swift during practice.

Bill Walton was quoted as calling Swift “The greatest homosapien ever to be born of woman descending from the continent of Europe” and has said many times in various publications if he could be reincarnated, he would assume Robert Swift’s persona, body, soul, mind, and talent.

In 2008 Swift was awarded the starting job at center but is expected to miss the entire season due to a torn ACL in his knee.

[edit] Life Outside of Basketball

Appointed King of Kabul.

Enjoys enslaving the human race and long walks on the beach. Robert Swift is pretty cool guy eh dominates the nba and doesnt afraid of anything.”

———-

A MAJOR tip of the ol’ hat to my friend Blake for the link.

REASONS TO WATCH THE GAMES OF THE NATIONAL BASKETBALL ASSOCIATION TONIGHT:

This is How You Play Down to Their Level (Dallas at Milwaukee):

The Mavs are better than the Bucks.  Period.  Purheeud.  But if we know one thing about Dallas this season, is that they love to let inferior teams either stick around or ambush them.  They don’t put teams away when they should, and too often their slow start has them playing catch-up to teams like the Wolves, the Grizz, or the Clippers.  So please, don’t be at all shocked when the Bucks are up 10 points in the third and Michael Redd is getting anything he wants.  That’s just the way the Mavs roll.  Bogut may be back for this one, which is a good thing for basketball fans.  If we need anything in this topsy, turvy basketball world, it’s less of Dan Gadzuric.

What Do You Want to Be When You Grow Up? (Memphis at Charlotte):

Watching a young team is so much more interesting than watching an older team.  Sure, there’s a certain poetry to the Lakers’ offense when it’s clicking, or to an outright Celtics blowout.  But you kind of know what you’re going to get when you tune in.  But when you watch O.J. Mayo, Mike Conley, D.J. Augustin, and to a lesser extent, Emeka Okafor and Gerald Wallace, there’s a mystery there.  A game can be entertaining no matter which teams play, but when there’s always a feeling that a player could do something unbelievable that you never thought they were capable of (both good and bad), it just makes the game that much more exciting.  It’s why we daydream of draft prospects in May and we anxiously await their debuts.  If you’re a fan of the league (and this is particularly true if you’re not a fan of a particular team), you have to love development.  Evolution.  Advancement.  You just…do.  Especially if you’re reading this blog.

You Know What, Curry?  You’re Not as Dense as I Gave You Credit For (Toronto at Detroit):

Small ball in Detroit.  I feel like I’ve written about it for the 15 footer thousands of times.  But tonight is supposedly the night that Michael Curry gives in to logic, and decides to bring one of his three swingmen he was starting off the bench.  I liked the idea of Iverson coming off the bench, personally, for reasons that Chris Webber articulated pretty well at the tail end of the MLK Day triple header: Rip already knows how to gel with this group, has the chemistry with the starters, and Iverson could be a lethal scoring punch off the bench against second units.  Iverson could relieve either guard position and just kill it.  But the decision is to bring Rip off the bench, who doesn’t have quite the pedigree that AI does.  Can’t win ‘em all, I guess, but ANYTHING is better than small ball.

I don’t think we’ve given Bargnani nearly enough credit for his hot streak.  He hasn’t been the most efficient scorer in his last three, but the dude clearly deserves his props for an incredible month of good work at the 5.  He might not be Dirk, but he can definitely be something.

Highway 7, Revisited (Phoenix at New York):

I get the feeling that whenever the Suns play a D’Antoni team from now until the end of eternity, they will all let out a collective sigh and shake their heads ever so slightly.  It’s just what happens when you call for the death of something special; like the first slumber party you go to when you’re five.  You want to grow up so badly and you want to prove that you don’t need anyone, but then you just end up crying and wetting yourself in front of all of your friends.  Pity.  This game and the Suns as a franchise should serve as a symbol to never abandon your youth.  Not that the players on the Phoenix roster were spry youngsters by any means, but if I could describe Seven Seconds or Less in one word, it would probably be whimsical.  Something about the system appeases every childish basketball fantasy that exists within us, and for me that remains true for the Knicks.  For stretches, they are truly awful.  But having seen what the Suns were capable of, I can’t help but smile when I watch the Knicks play.  Even blown defensive assignments and unforced turnovers are occasionally met with a wide grin.

Centers are SO 90s (Boston at Miami):

Perkins remains day-to-day for this one, but if he doesn’t return there’s a legit chance that there will be no centers in this game that do anything meaningful or play any meaningful minutes.  And yet, what the Celtics are doing has pretty much never been described as “small ball,” and even if it was I don’t know that it would be entirely accurate.  But personally, as much as I don’t appreciate his game or his personality all that much, I think Perk is absolutely invaluable to this team.  The way he allows the Celts to match-up with big lineups or give them an advantage over small ones simply can’t be found throughout the rest of the roster.  For his bargain-bin salary, Perkins has become nearly as important to this team as Rondo, if for no other reason than some of Rondo’s skill-set can be replaced by players off the bench.  Scal is not Perk.  Patrick O’Bryant is not Perk.  And KG can’t clone himself and play as Perk alongisde himself.  Can you even imagine what a team like the Heat could accomplish with a player like Kendrick Perkins?  A rugged, thick center who can make open baskets, dunk with authority, and defend in the post?  Dwyane Wade is good enough to get this team where it is now, but if you give him even one more weapon with some size, he’ll put the fear of 2.0 in your hearts.  Respect.

Hot and Cold or, Devin Harris is Not Donovan McNabb (New Jersey at New Orleans):

Devin, are you done sulking yet?  Because you kind of have to play Chris Paul tonight.  Look, we know Lawrence Frank sat you down for a half after the Celtics put a dress on you and demanded you obey their every whim, and he had every right.  Your team stunk.  There needed to be some kind of message that playing terrible basketball won’t be tolerated.  So don’t try to relate with Donovan McNabb, and for blog’s sake you don’t need to “reach out to him” to see what he went through.  Buck up, put your pants on one leg at a time, and go to work.  You’re going to need every iota of focus and competitiveness you can get to keep up with CP.

The Hornets still confuse me.  One game they’ll finally play like they’ve got something to prove, and the next they’ll fold against another quality contender.  With Tyson Chandler likely to be sidelined and then hobbled, NOLA will need to figure things out fast if they want to get in shape for the playoffs at the right time.

Bad Blood (Utah at Houston):

There is an absolutely sick awesome episode of X-Files with that same name.  Watch it.

As far as NBA rivalries go, I’m not sure that there are two fanbases that hate each other more than Jazz and Rockets fans.  I don’t know that Jazz fans have to be angry about, exactly.  Maybe they feel they’ve been slighted by media types and opposing fans that deny their superiority.  But when you’re running on a track record like the Jazz have over the Rockets, you need to get real, Houston fans: your team lost.

I don’t think there’s room for the kind of hate that seemingly exists between LeBron’s most die-hard Cleveland advocates and the Wizards faithful, or perhaps Laker apologists and the Celtic pride.  But while the attacks aren’t as malicious, everybody’s still good and angry, and that’s something.  We’ll have another incomplete look at this one that will suffer because of injuries, and ultimately be dismissed by whichever team loses.  Exciting.

A Working Class Hero is Something to Be (Cleveland at Portland):

LeBron is undoubtedly the People’s Champ, and Portland is undoubtedly the People’s Team.  LeBron attained that status through a combination of superhuman talent and natural charisma, whereas the Blazers claimed their throne through savvy, professionalism, and a little luck.  But aren’t they just so gosh darn loveable?

LeBron’s reluctance to go to the basket against the Lakers was a little bothersome to me, especially considering they’re already missing Delonte and Z pretty badly.  They need him to consistently get to the rim and the line if they’re going to survive their absences, and by survive I mean not lose that many games.

They’ll survive regardless, and the difference between the one seed and the three seed in the East probably won’t matter in the first round.  But wouldn’t the Cavs rather have a head on collision with the Hawks than the Magic or Celtics?  Meanwhile, the Blazers are treading water at 6th in the West, and are actually flying a bit under the radar aside from the eruption from The Big Chill against Milwaukee.  Roy, Aldridge and co. are quietly going about their business in Steve Blake’s absence, and they’re doing just fine.  Plus, have you guys been as excited as I’ve been watching Jerryd Bayless play big boy minutes?

BUNNY FIGHT!! (Washington at Sacramento):

The Wiz and the Kings are the poor, woodland creatures of the NBA.  They get trampled on, eaten, taunted, and slaughtered.  And just because they happen to be a little bit smaller and fuzzier than all those other critters.  But rather than have a rabbit fighting say, a pack of bloodthirsty pumas (my knowledge of wildlife and their natural habitats is astounding, I know), tonight we’ve got a bonafide bunny fight on our hands.

Two teams wholly incapable of playing defense, and each with at least one “star” on their hands.  Kevin Martin is all alone with no one there beside him, and Caron Butler and Antawn Jamison each take turns playing the one is the loneliest number game.  I’m not sure who wins this game, and I’m also pretty confident that us inland folk wouldn’t necessarily mind if this one was a double-loss.  How about this: whichever team forces (meaning they have to be forced turnovers) 20 turnovers first wins.  Is that so much to ask?

No, Really, It’s Totally a Clippers Home Game (LAL at LAC (whatever)):

The Clippers will enjoy the benefit of the home crowd tonight.  The Lakers will be victim to the vicious homer refs in the antagonistic Staples Center.  And Billy Crystal will beat the sh*t out of Jack.

Ladies and Gentlemen, We Proudly Present: A Picaresque Game of Passing Fancy (OKC at Golden State):

War of the Mascot.  I’m convinced that Thunder-Warriors is the new Bobcats-Hawks.  But instead of Gerald Wallace and Josh Smith you get Kevin Durant and Jamal Crawford/Stephen Jackson.  Love it.  Russell Westbrook is a better Raymond Felton than Raymond Felton will ever be, and Andreis Biedrins is the sleek sportscar version of Zaza Pachulia’s Gremlin.  Both teams are infinitely infuriating and lovable.  And on the right night, each team is capable of playing one hell of a game.  One can only hope that tonight the stars will align, and give us a double overtime game of consolation bracket teams with nothing to lose or gain but lottery position.  This is the regular season, and it is good.

So, you wouldn’t know this, but our first banner? The one before the one over at blogspot?

It sucked. It was me using Photoshop like a drunken seventeen year old.  So when Corn’s lady, Sadie Caplan, offered to hook me up with a banner, I said sure. And she nailed our awesome old one. Then when we started designing 2.0, she helped us out with the rad (yes, I said rad) one you see above.

In my 2AM, last-minute welcome post, I neglected to mention her. Which was, quite honestly, terrible of me. So everyone should thank Sadie Caplan for A. designing our new banner, B. putting up with Corn and letting him watch sports all the time.

Thanks, Sadie. Keep on rocking in the free world.

Basketball, at its core, is a game of imitation. You see things on the playground, in the gym, and in the locker room, and you strive to take morsels and skills and use them as extensions of your self. It’s a natural progression, and it’s as old as the game itself. But we’ve come to a point where the same trends exist not only in the game, but around the game: owners imitating owners, GMs imitating GMs, scouts imitating scouts. If you want your team to be as good as that team, you best keep your eyes and ears open, and take some notes. But the minor, minor detail that the latter form of imitation ignores, is that of circumstance. Try as you might, your team probably isn’t the Spurs. They probably don’t have Tim Duncan, or Pop, or that damned cult mentality that has made them so good for so long. So when you try to copy the Spurs system as your system, it might work. But it might blow up in your face, because you have neither the patience, the wisdom, nor the discipline to execute the plan. Hey, everyboy’s different, and that’s fine. What needs to be understood is that as long as teams have different rosters, different markets, and different circumstances, it’s going to be damn hard to expect the same results.

What if that weren’t the case, though? Obviously the market is something that’s going to be pretty difficult to change, but suppose that you could manipulate the roster or even the circumstances to emulate your model? The most accurate scientific studies are successful because of their ability to be re-tested under the same conditions. So if you want the same result, figure out how to create the same circumstances.

What I’m about to propose is a little bit dishonest, kind of crazy, and probably impossible. But hear me out. Aside from properly building a roster, specific coaching progressions and dynamics are arguably the most important factor in developing a contender. You not only need good coach-player relations, but you need specific types of coaches and personalities for everything to gel as planned. So rather than hoping to strike gold with a coaching find or twiddling your thumbs while a coach pisses his time away, an ambitious, front office that’s in a “gambling sorta mood” could endeavor to create a completely staged series of events and coaching changes in order to effectively control team dynamics and the ebb and flow that goes with any given season. Players turning against a coach at the wrong time could effectively jeopordize a season or maybe more. It’s difficult to predict exactly when the tides will change or what kind of effect it will have on the roster. This is exactly the type of extraneous variable that could be avoided with a solid plan.

So here’s the strat: find a team that you’d like to emulate. For the sake of argument, let’s say the first three-peat Jordan Bulls. Obviously it’s going to be damn hard to duplicate the exact roster or even a similar one, but that’s not necessarily what we’re going for. You simply want to replicate the regime change from Doug Collins to Phil Jackson because you feel that the change that occurred in that scenario could spark your team to greatness. And for the sake of a similar yet unrelated argument, let’s assume your team is the HP Favorite Memphis Grizzlies. A young stud of a shooting guard with a versatile, talented small forward. Plenty of interesting complimentary pieces. And just the kind of dismal situation that would beg for a situation like this. We’ll ignore the “Three Year Plan” and Memphis’ market woes for a minute. Y’know, just for fun.

Iavaroni could stick around until a more solid nucleus had been formed, preferably one with more prolific shooters or a more consistent big man. Or maybe players already on the roster develop into those pieces. But when “the time is right,” (whatever that means) Iav and his staff would be replaced by Player’s Coach at the helm, with a staff that includes a talented young group and your token Disciplinarian coach, and preferably one with some experience. You would need to find a tight-lipped bunch, and on top of that both coaches would need an understanding and a willingness to carry out the gameplan. From that point, you would go forth with your Collins clone, a coach whose style would contrast with Iavaroni and hopefully bring a talented, developing team into player contention/lower level playoff status. The biggest problem with “player’s coaches” is that they can get their foot in the door, but often can’t make the jump to elite status. On the other hand, the biggest problem with a “disciplinarian” is that their coaching style is often very demanding on their players’ psyches, often resulting in backlash, effort issues, or locker room implosion. Certain coaches are above and beyond any of these classifications (and Phil could definitely be considered one of those coaches, which is definitely a problem with this particular model), but most disciplinarian coaches are eventually met with a critical team following and angry players when faced with the first sign of decline. Under this plan, you would maximize the potential of the player’s coach by letting him get the team into the playoffs, but also control the transition and minimize the mental and emotional wear and tear of a more demanding coach.

A few questionable play calls, wacky subsitution patterns, off-the-wall comments, and a locker room plant (a minimum salary, veteran type willing to go the distance for the good of the team) can go a long way towards triggering a coaching regime change under completely controlled circumstances. The “assistant”-turned head coach will have already developed a working rapport with the significant players, and the “new coach surge” can be carefully timed with a playoff push and prepared for with damage control. Worst case scenario, you have a decent roster with a disciplinarian coach. Of course, there are other things to consider. I mean, If anyone gets a whiff of the plan, you’re screwed. And I mean completely screwed. There’s also absolutely no guarantee that this will actually work, and certainly no guarantee that a championship will be involved. I don’t exactly have precedent to work from here. But supposing that word doesn’t get out of the actual plan, there really isn’t that much of a downside apart from a few dollars for bankrolling what is essentially two head coaches. If the first coach works out better than expected, you could ignore the plan and go forward with them. If the team can’t take the next step under the second coach, make a trade, scrap the coach, or make some moves. But essentially, you’re not risking the future of a franchise as much as you are attempting to manipulate the environment in which significant coaching changes are sparked. It may not be the revolutionary explosion that thrusts a team from dead last into contention, but this could be the exact kind of carefully planned catalyst that could turn a mediocre squad into a perennial contender.

Things I Realized During the Bulls-Hawks Game

As currently constructed, the Bulls’ absolute ceiling is the Hawks.  The teams are very similarly built.  They both are solid defensive teams that could be upper-level if they give consistent effort.  They both could be successful if they ran a little bit more.  The main difference is that the Bulls play a good game 40% of the time, and the Hawks play well 60% of the time.

More problematic is that neither of these teams is going anywhere.  The Bulls, obviously, have wasted another half season due to Del Negro’s resistance to playing Tyrus Thomas and Joakim Noah extended minutes.  While Aaron Gray played well in his stint in the first half, keeping the Bulls in the game for stretches, he’s maxed out his potential, whereas Thomas and Noah have the chance to be key pieces to a team.  Per 36 minutes, both Noah and Thomas perform well, but they are desperately in need of a coach that will push them to try hard.  That sounds silly; these guys should both know that when they play hard, they play a lot, and in turn play well.  However, VDN’s annoyingly merit-based rotations leave players in fear of making mistakes, lest they sit for quarters at a time.

As for the Hawks – whatever.  This is a team that can’t be bothered to consistently attack the basket.  Defensively, they have the players to be a top ten team, but are too lazy in transition to do so.  And seemingly, they don’t get fired up to play anyone else but the Celtics.  The weirdest thing is that they aren’t even that fun to watch, given their personnel.  At least Soloman Jones looks like Andre 3000.

Thing I Think I Heard Chris Webber Call Chris Andersen on NBA Gametime

The Man with the Green Skin

Thing I Hope Is True

So I walk into the gym and see Rudy (in a group with Coach Monty, Travis and Nic) shooting his post-practice shots and rainbowing a few times.  He then pantomimed catching his own alleyoop pass off of a backheel rainbow and throwing down a two handed reverse slam.  Um… please do that in the dunk contest.  Please.  That would be sick.  I give it a 10!  

I think we might have underestimated Rudy as he was also kicking the ball from the free throw line off the backboard, perhaps setting up another soccer-inspired alley-oop look.

Not to be outdone, Sergio sent a laser volley from halfcourt that looked like it would find the bottom corner against most keepers.  Crazy Spaniards. With their …crazy…  Spanish… skills.

via Blazers Edge

Thing My Wife Said Upon Seeing a Close-Up of Drew Gooden

“UGH, that looks like pubic hair!”

Things We Expected to Happen That Did

San Antonio 99, Indiana 81

Utah 112, Minnesota 107

Atlanta 105, Chicago 102

Denver 118, Sacramento 99

Cause what the world needs now is a new kind of tension.

Like the new digs?

Settle in, put your feet up. Whittle some!

Welcome to the new HardwoodParoxysm.com, now a part of the ESPN TrueHoop Network of blogs. It’s been forever getting here, and we’re really excited to be here. We’ve switched to a snazzier format with more bells and whistles and a more fancy lookin’ layout.

Here’s what’s the same.

• It’s still Matt, Corndogg, and Rob with Graydon. Trey will also be doing his Trey thing. Because it’s Trey.  In the next few months we’ll be adding more columnists, so be on the look out for that. Our goal is to be the D-League of the NBA Blogosphere. We want the best young writers to have a place to stretch their wings and throw rocks at people. Or fly. Depending on how they feel.
• Same tone. It should be noted that the banner you see up top does not equate editorial control of any kind, and the reason we’re here is that this network is about bringing our kind of commentary to a wider audience. So never fear. We’ll still be hating on Vince Carter as much as always and irrationally praying for Tyrus Thomas to live up to his potential.
• Same features. The 15 Footer, the game thoughts, even some picture captions will be headed your way.

Here’s what’s new:

• In the next week we’ll be unveiling the Podcast Paroxysm, our very own podcast. We look forward to failing to live up to the bar of The Basketball Jones in every way.
• We’ve got Twitter. We’ve got Tumblr. We’ve got bells and whistles and all sorts of cool stuff we’re itching to try out.
• And we’re a part of a great network. We’re tremendously excited to be joining sites like Hornets 24-7, ClipperBlog, Forum Blue and Gold, and 48 Minutes of Hell (written by our own Graydon Gordian). This has been a long time coming and we’re thrilled to be associated with such great writers.

Now, there will probably be a lot of questions about the four letters at the top of this site. It was a hard decision for us, and one we probably wouldn’t have made it this great opportunity hadn’t been presented the way it was. Henry Abbott of TrueHoop has always been a great supporter of ours, and a good friend to talk blogging and the league with. When he approached us, he did so with the right attitude to make this venture a success. Henry, in short, gets it. He’s supportive of the blogosphere and the idea that there’s room enough for all of us to have a voice out here. There has never been any pushback from ESPN with anyone we’ve talked to about editorial content or control, nor have we been treated as second class because we’re a blog. The media landscape is changing, and we’re a part of that. Furthermore, one of the things I realized when I stopped and looked at it is how incredible ESPN.com’s NBA staff is. Marc Stein, John Hollinger, Chad Ford, these are all names I know and respect. To be affiliated with them is an honor, even if our association is far from formal.

I want to thank Henry for the opportunity and his vision, Kevin Arnovitz for helping get everything together and being there for all our questions, ESPN for the respect and professionalism they’ve shown through this process, and all the bloggers I asked for advice along the way. I also want to thank the HP staff for being so excited and supportive during this process, and for keeping me excited through everything. I want to thank Tebow for granting us this opportunity and Pau Gasol for his continuing inability to effectively dunk the ball. I want to thank Dwyane Wade for being awesome and the entire league for being bloggable. I want to thank my wife for putting up with all this, God knows how. Not like we’re rolling in Benzes or anything.

I especially want to thank our developer of HardwoodParoxysm.com, Josh Tucker, for his work on this site. He’s done a top notch job, and his vision and drive was what got us here. Without him, I’d still be manually tweaking blogger formats and trying to figure out what a widget is. Josh is a tremendous blogging talent himself, and he brings even more to the table as a developer. If HP is my baby, he’s the one that helped raise it up into whatever demonic freak it’s become.

Corn would give his thanks, but he’s intoxicated somewhere in Washington, D.C. You know, like you do.

If you’re new, we’ll tell you right now. We won’t always be right, but we’ll usually be pretty entertaining. We don’t pull punches and we don’t like the Lakers (though we fear Kobe. Lots and lots.). We preview every game every day in our 15 Footer and we arbitrarily make up nicknames. We hope you’ll join us in the future. Should be…well, something.

Finally, I want to thank all the readers and bloggers that gave us support. J.E. Skeets, Kelly Dwyer, Tom Ziller, Matt Watson, Brett “Edwards,” Will Brinson, Trey Kerby and a hundred more that hopefully know how much I appreciate their efforts. All the readers and commenters, I hope you’ll be with us as we begin HP 2.0. Let’s get Nova.

Ladies and Gentlemen, HardwoodParoxysm.com.

…

Oh,and Vince Carter sucks.

The Magic.

Last year, I found myself captivated. While everyone was fawning over the Celtics and suddenly mega-relevant Lakers, I was amazed at what was going on in the Magic Kingdom. When Turkoglu nailed the game winner on a Sunday against the Celtics, I was hooked. The Magic had been a punchline, handing out the Brontosaurus contract to Rashard Lewis, relying on Hedo Turkoglu, and hinging on Dwight Howard’s continued development. But somewhere in the middle, they gelled. Their first round series with Toronto was one of the more watchable series of the playoffs. Full of clicking offense even if the defensive discipline was sorely lacking. They were widely expected to be beaten into oblivion by the Pistons, and that’s what seems like happened. But when you talked to the Pistons, or you examined how close the Magic were to making that a series, it doesn’t seem like such a beatdown.  A lot of it hinges on a specific attribute the Pistons possess and not a fundamental flaw in the Magic. The Pistons have a rare combination of front court players who can get low on Howard and put the muscle in. From there the emphasis switched to the support players. And if you could cut them down and focus on Jameer Nelson, well…

And so this season, people largely expected more of the same. Better than given credit, but far from enough to contend.

A funny thing happened on the way to Space Mountain.

(more…)

A big thanks to Ryne, friend of the HP family, at SLAM.