I’m just warning you now. Your HP world? About to be rocked. To the core.

But as a warmup, in place of the linkdumps, which are too long because there is too much NBA awesomeness on the blogosphere, I give you our link-driven Tumblr.

http://hardwoodparoxysm.tumblr.com

I have some fond memories of the Mavs’ 2006 run to the Finals, and there is no doubt that DeSagana Diop was an essential cog in that team. But when the two-headed center that the Mavs employed suddenly transformed into a one headed center tied to a head-shaped doorstop, things got ugly. So from Dallas’ perspective, it makes perfect sense to ship Diop to Charlotte in exchange for Matt Carroll and contract filler Ryan Hollins.

Dirk and Brandon Bass both present considerable defensive problems when they’re forced to defend the post. That’s where Diop was supposed to add to this Mavericks team. Needless to say, that hasn’t exactly been the case. Diop is one helluva soldier in regard to his unwillingness to act up or cause problems when faced with limited playing time, but unfortunately, that is where my compliments of Diop’s season end. He’s always been an offensive liability and it seemed like his D had finally caught up. He struggled to defend stronger foes and really has problems with the pick and roll. He doesn’t have the foot speed to keep up with centers when they step out, and watching him try to guard a point guard on the switch is a bit like watching a cat chase his own tail. It’s harsh, I know, but the time for niceties is long past for the Mavs. Now, it’s about finding the right guys for Coach Carlisle’s attack, and that directive is executed beautifully with the acquisition of Matt Carroll.

Dirk, Jason Terry, and Jason Kidd are excellent at opening up the corners for their teammates. Devean George (28.9%), James Singleton (14.3%), Gerald Green (29.4%), and Antoine Wright (25.6%)have gotten plenty of open looks from the corners. And plenty of those opportunities have ended up with a shot that makes me vomit in my mouth, ever so slightly. Green could get there, and damn do I want him to, but for the time being he’s a sparkplug at best and a ‘factory which has the sole purpose of manufacturing turnovers’ at worst. The rest of the crew ain’t bad (Well, except for Singleton. Sweet rebounder, but I wouldn’t mind if I never saw him take another three.), but they’re not good enough for a team that wants to shoot as often as the Mavs do. The idea is that with Carroll in the corners, the offense could really open up. He’s having a down year that would make Larry Hughes blush, but he’s also a career 40.3% shooter from deep — nothing to scoff at.

The perk of this trade is that there is virtually no downside. Diop was playing marginal minutes anyway, and a combination of Bass and Singleton will likely fill in the gaps. But beyond that, I see two pretty big advantages for the Mavs:

• Yes, Caroll is owed $21.5 million over the next five years. But that contract is also front-weighted, meaning that his $5 million salary for 2008-2009 is as high as it gets. In the heavily asterisked summer of 2010, Carroll will be on the books for just $4.3 mil. Not bad at all, especially when compared to Gana’s $32 million deal over the same five years ($6.5 in 2010).
• Suppose that Carroll throws up a brick fest during his time with the Mavs, continues his tear of 2008-2009 sucktitude, and becomes a complete waste of space. Carlisle has shown that he isn’t shy about jerking around minutes, and he simply won’t play Carroll if he doesn’t deserve it. Be it in practice or in games, Matt Carroll is going to have to earn every minute he plays in a Maverick uniform.

Ryan Hollins is a non-factor that was likely included for salary/warm bodies that play the center position reasons.

To some extent, I do feel bad for the Bobcats. They can use the frontcourt depth, but since the summer I’ve felt like the trade game could turn into a hot potato game of Diop’s contract, and my money says the music just cut out. Game over man, game over. Enjoy paying a back-up big enough money to cripple your free agent plans, guys.

WASHINGTON, D.C. (HP) — After Thursday’s controversial decision to extend ‘prospect’ status to seventh graders passed by virtue of an NCAA vote, the NCAA’s follow-up vote on Friday also classified unborn fetuses with a minimum of two months of maturation as ‘prospects.’

The decision was made to buck a trend in which some college coaches were intentionally spreading their seed and/or offering to foot the bill for the baby mama’s expenses. “The fact that we’ve got to this point is really just a sign of the times.” said Joe D’Antonio, chairman of the 31-member Division I Legislative Council. D’Antonio is certainly not alone in his views, but after numerous photo leaks that showed coaches holding and even kissing young infants, the council considered this a problem that needed to be nipped in the bud.

“It may seem harmless, but by speaking to the fetus through the mother’s stomach or playing a school fight song while the unborn child rests, a coach can have considerable influence over an unsuspecting, captive audience,” said a NCAA source that wished to remain anonymous.

Schools had also expressed concern that the elite pre-birth basketball skills camps and workshops were giving participating coaches a recruiting advantage, pressuring other coaches to conduct similar camps.

The “thrill of the hunt” is a pretty elemental part of human nature. We want what we can’t have, and once we have it, pawing at it as it rests lifelessly in our mitts, it’s just not all that interesting anymore.

It’s in that vein that I’m a little confused by all of the backlash against the ‘Yi for All-Star’ cultural movement. Season after season we’re bombarded by campaigns to get Antoine Walker, Stephon Marbury, or Eddy Curry into the game. None of those efforts came anywhere close to getting the league’s laughing stocks in the front door. The point of those movements, aside from some cheap entertainment, is to prove that the system is broken. I mean, McGrady is one thing, but Starbury in Phoenix would make orphans cry and puppies die. So, I have to ask: if the point is to provide some comedy and prove the errors in the system, why aren’t we all voting for Yi?

Is it because Yi isn’t absurd enough to qualify for our particular brand of unintentional comedy? I mean, I doubt he would make David Stern squirm as much as Marbury would, and it wouldn’t be quite as entertaining. But Yi’s a pretty funny guy in his own right, though no fault of his own. He barely cracks double digit points on the season and he isn’t exactly a bad player…he just happens to not be a very good one. It would still be pretty wacky to see him start over the likes of KG, Chris Bosh, and Danny Granger. And, it would probably be more than enough to at least warrant a damn good look at this fan voting thing.

Or, even more worrisome, is this an issue of who is voting our All-Stars into the game? We’re all a bit taken aback by the prospect of some work-in-progress foreign forward sneaking his way into an unwarranted spot in our sacred game of stars, but there’s an elephant in the room here that just can’t be ignored. Asian is the new Euro, at least in terms of negative stereotypes. The domestic reaction is probably a combination of that negativity and the reluctance to yield power to the ever-influential Chinese population, which unnecessarily creates an us vs. them dynamic. We want Chris Paul. They want Tracy McGrady. We want Kevin Garnett. They want Yi Jianlian. Screw the reasons behind the vote; is casting a ballot on their terms any different (read: worse) than voting straight-ticket for your hometown team?

If we can get past our own insecurities, this could really be a good situation. Fan voting completely screws legitimate all-stars out of the blue ribbon and the camaraderie, but some kind of demonstrative action needs to put things over the top if we want an overhaul of the process. We wanted Starbury, we wanted Antoine, and we wanted Curry. So why is it that we’re afraid of our wildest all-star dream gag becoming a reality?

Look, it’s not that I didn’t think the short guy in the dunk contest wasn’t cool. When they did it. And it’s not that I didn’t dig the awkward white dude. When they did it. And hey, I think Russell Westbrook and Rudy Fernandez could put on a show. But I’ve got a better idea for the fourth competitor.

I think you know where this is headed.

On the Friday before the All-Star game, the night before the Dunk Contest, the D-League will hold it’s Dream Factory exhibition with a HORSE contest, a skills contest, and a dunk contest. Last year’s winner, Brett Petway, narrowly edged out now-Clipper Mike Taylor. Here’s one view. Here’s another.

Now, I know these guys can’t play defense like NBA starters can. They can’t stay focused, knock down 18 footers, break the trap, or work the screen like NBA starters can. But dunking is different. It’s a different animal, born from a different place than defensive rotations and curl screens. It’s more emotive. And the guys in the D-League are going to have a whole different set of emotions.

Here’s what you do. The D-League dunk contest winner is put into the actual dunk contest as a regular competitor. He isn’t allowed to use any dunk used the night before. A league representative is there to check, and if he does, he’s disqualified. This puts the advantage even more firmly in the hands of the NBA guys.

Imagine it. An undrafted rookie or a veteran journeyman who’s bounced around in the dunk contest, trying to outdo Dwight Howard and Rudy Gay for the dunk title. It’s a win-win situation for everyone involved. If the D-Leaguer fails, he’ll probably fail miserably, cementing how superior a product the NBA is. Bloggers get to post video and mock him. And every year that the D-League guy doesn’t pull it off, it starts the streak. So whenever someone gets close, they can flash that graphic.

“NO D-LEAGUE ENTRANT HAS EVER WON THE DUNK CONTEST.”

And it builds suspense. So when someone actually does pull it off, it’s a huge deal (if ever).

And think about that. What if he does well enough to warrant votes? America and the world will go bonkers for him! That’s a fantastic story.

It hurts the league but not at all, lets them focus on the good players, and provides an instant story. There’s nothing more ridiculous than the D-League, except for maybe the Dunk Contest.

Let’s make this happen.

Delonte West fractured his right wrist, and Matt Moore hit me up on gchat: “This is really big. This changes the Cavs. A lot.”

I’m willing to go a step further: this changes everything. On the surface, the Cavs lose an undersized starting two guard who would seem to be easily replaced by some combination of Sasha Pavlovic, Wally Szczerbiak, and Daniel Gibson. But he’s more than that. Moore described him as a catalyst, and I think that’s a fair description. When you tune in to The Muppet Show (not that you, y’know, would ever watch The Muppet Show), you expect to see Kermit, Miss Piggy, Fozzie, and Gonzo all working in harmony. Kermit is the motherf*cking star, and it’s his show. But when there’s no “wocka wocka wocka,” everything just seems a little off. Everything that Mo Williams has done for this team on offense is magnified by West’s passing and shooting abilities, and having a capable weapon that isn’t a serious liability on either end. I wish I could say that the Cavs’ improvement was because Wally or Sasha suddenly became more well-rounded players, but it’s just not the case.

I’m going to put something out there that I’ve been trying to keep to myself for the last few weeks: prior to West’s injury tonight, the Cavs were the best team in the NBA. I’m not exactly sure when it started, but I know for damn sure that this is where it ends. For now, at least. They showed that heads up against the Celtics, and they’ve been on a tear that even L.A. should be envious of. 2nd in the league in offensive efficiency. 1st in defensive efficiency. The best damn player in the league. A combination of undeniable penetration, great inside-out play, and defensive intensity. This team had something to prove going into this season, and though they still had their doubters, they’ve proven plenty to me.

But with Kobe v. LeBron just days away, West’s injury significantly alters the league-wide landscape. Bummer. The Lakers are undeniably the team to beat with West and Big Z sidelined. So now we’re looking at what I consider to be a 180 in regard to the expectations for Monday’s match-up, from hotly contested slugfest to a Lakers walk-off. This team looked downright foolish against the Bulls, and were shown up on the defensive end by Rose getting deep into the lane and capitalizing on turnover after turnover. We’ve pretty much sent LeBron the MVP in a gift basket, filled with potpourri, summer sausage, and fresh in-season fruits, but the next few games should give us an interesting look at just how much his supporting cast does to help him out. It probably won’t do anything to change my nonexistent, unimportant vote, and odds are that Delonte will only be out for a relatively short period of time. But with a loss to the Bulls already in the books, I’m eager to see what the shorthanded Cavs are capable of.

Sometimes, you read an interview that will rock you to the very core of everything you thought to be true. Rotoworld’s interview with Stephen Malkmus is one of those. The fact that Malkmus is a fantasy basketball nut and can talk casually about Matt Barnes and Tyrus Thomas makes my year.

Take note, basketball world: these are the kinds of people that we want interviewed. Sure, Player X felt like “he was in a good rhythm tonight,” and Coach Y is “really proud of his guys,” but I’d much rather get some perspective from pop culture’s most unexpected basketball fans.

(link via FreeDarko)

Vince Carter is the New Jan Brady
Portland @ New Jersey – 7:30pm EST

Even Matt Moore has given it up to Vince-anity this year. He and Harris are, legitimately, one of the best backcourt duos in the league (well, sans Vince’s lightswith defense). But he has been on a tear. The Nets are even holding on to that always valubale “sub-.500 record but we still have the 7th seed,” um, 7th seed in the East. But Vince gets no love. People are more excited about Brook Lopez dropping 31 on the Thunder, Devin Harris hitting this, or sugraplum dreams about LBJ coming to town. Well, this is the one 15 Footer a year where we say “Well done, Vince.” (what? I tried to leave the hate in 2008… temporarily, of course) Now watch out for Roy, Aldridge and Oden, as they want to eat you up and on their way to a winning East Coast road trip.

What’s That? Oh, I’m Sorry. I Couldn’t Hear You. I Was Too Busy Feating On Your Innards.
Cleveland @ Chicago – 8:00pm EST – TNT

This is the last rung in the ladder for Lebron. He has been torching competition this year. His team is, now, the odds on favorite to win the East. He has Kobe coming up this weekend. He is better than the entire Cleveland Browns. This is the last chance for him to tune his machine before the entire NBA blogosphere zeroes in their sights on what is being whispered about as “The Passing of the Torch.” But the mark of true greatness is the ability to remain focused and not let your head or your heart leap ahead to the bigger game on the horizon.

In other news, Ty Thomas just found a 4 leaf clover, attached to a rabbit’s foot, underneath a horseshoe. You are just the baked appetizer before the main course of Laker filet. Should be nice and painless. I also wouldn’t be surprised if every single time Lebron wanted to shoot a jumper he ran right at Larry Hughes and launched them in his face. You know, just because… if Vinnie plays him.

This One’s For The Purists
Phoenix @ Denver – 10:30pm EST – TNT

This is reality. Both teams will try to “out tough” one another. The Suns will dump it to Shaq and try to rack up fouls on Nene, Marting and Birdman while Amare hangs out and waits to do his damage when the foul trouble mounts.
Billups will be working on burning Nash, getting to the line and feeding J.R. Smith for 3s.

Which team can outsimplify and force their style on the other? Just because it ain’t your old Suns and Nuggets doesn’t mean the game will be any less entertaining. We’ll still be in the 100s, with plenty of chest thumping and stomping. Melo will wear a Craig Sager reject on the sidelines. (BTW, when you google “Carmelo+Red+Jacket, this is the first hit you get. Try it.) It will all be the same when the final buzzer goes off, but you will have no idea how we got there. Basketball in the Twilight Zone? Yes, please!

Ah, January. The air is brisk, the sun is low, and I get to point and laugh while my brethren up north of the Mason-Dixon line actually have to shovel their driveways and such. Yes, I’m enjoying my 55 degree weather, thankyouverymuch.

But for the league as we know it, winter presents a trying time. The Great Coaching Purge of 2007 already took out nearly every likely coaching casualty imaginable, so we’re left with players and coaches pointing fingers and no single, decisive move to send a message without a big name trade. The Lakers and the Cavs are sitting pretty, smug in their rockers next to the fire clad in Snuggies, but the rest of the teams in the association have been left punch-drunk, desperately trying to get their car started in the middle of a snow storm. They’ve all got their problems, and with almost half of the season behind us the true feelings and the struggling ball clubs that just reek of desperation are hustling together a laundry list of flaws and excuses. So while everyone is good and grumpy from all the red herrings, rumors become mushroom clouds and a throwaway line in a post-game interview suddently becomes a headline. Now that everyone’s good and pissed, let’s talk frustration.

Mark Cuban proves that even the league can get its panties in a bunch around this time of year, after his confrontation with J.R. Smith from Tuesday’s Nuggets-Mavs game. An owner confronts an opposing player. On face value, that sure seems like a damn near inexcusable action. But that also assumes some sort of run-of-the-mill, standard owner. That Cuban is not. The man is more than a super fan because well, he pays for this gig. He foots the bill. That entitles him to certain privileges. Now, if you want him to self appoint himself an “assistant coach” or whatever so that he can sit on the bench, so be it. But frankly, I fail to see the alarm in Cuban talking to a player on another team. Yes, I am a Mavericks fan, and yes, I am somewhat of a fan of Cuban himself. But he didn’t exactly rush J.R. ready to quarrel. Cubes is vigilant, but I’d hardly call him violent. So while the owner confronting the player on an opposing team is pretty unorthodox, I’d say that all the fuss over this is much ado about a non-incident that shouldn’t even be mentioned. Cuban’s mad because J.R. threw an elbow, J.R.’s probably mad because Cuban rejected his peace offering, and everybody else is mad because Cuban was being Cuban. Bah humbug.

Meanwhile, Yao might not exactly be opposed to Moore’s central thesis regarding T-Mac. Trouble is certainly brewing in Houston. It’s clear that something needs to be done and McGrady would be the most obvious domino to fall, but I only hope that his stands as independently as it seems. I’d hate to see that a team that “seems better” without McGrady only seems that way. Morey and Adelman are smart guys, and if a move is made I’m confident it will be a good, calculated one. Still, would it be all that surprising if the Rox stood pat with what they’ve got, and hoped for a better string of luck with injuries and on-court chemistry? That move (or, lack of a move, I guess) would seem pretty ridiculous to the lot of us, but as usual, we’re not GMs. Yet.

I’m not sure who’s more unhappy with the situation in Detroit: Rip Hamilton or me. Few things infuriate me more than the Pistons’ fascination with the small ball style, especially because this move is neither born of previously determined plan of attack or desperation. They aren’t the Warriors or the Knicks, teams that naturally run a bit small as part of their strategy. They’re no longer overcoming a string of injuries to various rotation players. The troops are healthy and the big men are capable; it’s time to get rid of this Tayshaun Prince as power forward sh*t. Although, I will gladly say that some good has come of it. Bet you didn’t know Emily Dickinson was a Detroit fan, did you? (Apparently, Rip has conceded some ground and taken the “team first” approach. Now let’s hope Curry actually listens. Hat tip to Watson at DBB.)

Keep your wits about you, NBA heads. The trade rumors are still a-flyin’, and there’s plenty of blame to go ’round, but it won’t be too long until Spring will be upon us and we’ll all be smitten with trade deadline acquisition puppy love. That Shawn Marion is so dreamy!