LeBron, on tonight’s rematch with the Celtics: “I can’t say [Friday] is a just another game; I’d be lying.”
J.R.R. Tolkien continues: “The veiling shadow that glowers in the East takes shape. Sauron will suffer no rival.

From the summit of Barad-dur his eye watches ceaselessly. But he is not so mighty yet that he is above fear. Doubt ever gnaws at him. The rumor has reached him. The heir of Numenor still lives. Sauron fears you, Aragorn.

He fears what you may become. And so he will strike hard and fast at the world of Men. War is coming.”

(But this time, with no reference to Artest)

Moore and I were talking this morning about players who continue to plague current and former teams, just by their own existence. Darius Miles and the Portland fiasco comes to mind. The fact that the preseason games he participated in are allowed to count toward the 10 game threshold he must break in order to wreak havoc on the Trailblazer’s finances is abominable. (FTR, if Miles plays more than 10 NBA games this year, Portland is on the books for $18mil in currently insured salary over this year and next). So, instead of this washed-up, cancerous dud only having participated in 2 meaningful games this year, he is now ticketed for 8. If some big-hearted, reform minded coach wants to take a late season chance on him and let him hawk some Tyron Lue-ish minutes, it will cost the Blazers dearly. For his sake, I hope Kevin Pritchard doesn’t have many mortal enemies, cause this will undoubtedly happen. That’s not say that Miles isn’t trying to be a better teammate and regain his skills (ok, PSYCHE, that’s exactly what this is saying), but truly, you’ve got to cut your losses at some point. Some guys are better off in Europe… or Haiti. Portland has tried to do everything possible to rid their team of combustible, selfish miscreants and they still may get screwed for it because of some loophole in player participation regulations. Life’s a bitch sometimes, ain’t it.

But, that is not the real crux of this post. Has ABSOLUTELY NO ONE IN THE NBA BLOGOSPHERE noticed that the mere prospect and speculation of Stephon Marbury going to Boston has resulted in a crushing cycle of night in/ night out EPIC FAIL, KG being pilloried by his peers and Celtics fans acting more like Bernie Madoff’s clients than World Champs? Really? KD says not to worry, but I say you have nothing to fear but… Marbury himself. He may destroy us all!

Yes, that is right, Stephon Marbury is so toxic that even if he hints at the possibility of joining your team, you should consider it lucky if no players end up with Hepatitis, unintentional blindness or if they didn’t get their credit cards compromised. If Stephon Marbury wants to join your organization, please get rid of every gun you own, because they will most likely shoot you themselves. Not even the kid from the upcoming movie “THE UNBORN” could render so many people mutilated and maimed. So many dreams dashed. So many championships unattainable. So many dozens of lottery picks in your team’s immediate future.

We have truly reach critical mass in this Marbury situation. At this point, I am surprised all of D’Antoni’s facial hair hasn’t fallen out. Yes, it’s that horrible. The quicker Danny Ainge can come to the public and openly refute any dealing with or desires for Marbury, the better off his team will be. It not, they could end up looking the wall of Persians from 300 (sorry, saw it last night, again.)

I urge you, dear readers and bloggers, unite against this common enemy. Resist the temptation to fulminate about the possibilities of Marbury being a reformed, team-focused veteran for a contender. Do not allow his machinations and tirades about his being “disrespected” cause you to consider his “value” as a back up point guard. This man is out to eat your soul (not to mention, the tendons and ankles of your favorite team’s players). Resist, I tell you, resist. Or else your computer might explode… and you might have to wear pants and appear in public… and you might have to move out from your parent’s basement!!

RESIST!

Paying the luxury tax sucks. I get that. Especially when you’re any team not named the Celtics or the Lakers. But while one team (Denver) made a move today to maneuver under luxury tax territory, two others made a series of bizarre moves that don’t seem to make much sense to me.

Let’s start with what we do know: according to Larry Coon and his incredibly thorough salary cap FAQ, the luxury tax threshold is $71,150,000 in total team salary. Coon doesn’t indicate that this number is approximated, although it’s fair to give a little wiggle room on both sides of that value. I’m not calling Coon’s facts into question, but often these values are based on approximations. So keep that in mind.

The total team salary of the Nuggets is $70,994,118. Marc Stein reports that both Kenyon Martin and J.R. Smith have contract bonuses that could total $800k, providing more than enough of a bump to put Denver over the edge. Thus, it makes sense to dump Chucky Atkins and their 2009 first rounder to OKC for Johan Petro and a 2009 second rounder, saving Denver around $1.46 million in pure salary. This trade makes perfect sense to me, and it’s exactly the kind of activity you expect to see around this time every year.

Good job, Nuggets and Thunder; a neat little salary-clearing operation that appears to be a success. But prepare yourself, dear reader, because the following sequence just might make your head explode. Despite the fact that the rest of the world (myself included) assumed that Shaun Livingston would clear waivers without a hitch, he apparently did not. Instead of entering free agency, Livingston and cash money were sent to Memphis in exchange for a conditional 2012 second rounder. Just another move by a team trying to dodge the luxury tax, right? Well, apparently not. A quick look at the Heat’s books shows that their total team salary is equal to $69, 174,791. I’ve never been accused of being a math wizard, but I can tell you with zero doubt that 69 million is less than 71 million. College education for the win. Supposing that this information is correct and that the Heat are in fact unaffected by the luxury tax, why would they give up Livingston and cash for a conditional 2012 second round pick (that likely will never even come to fruition)? But, let’s pretend for a second that Miami has motivation to send Livingston to Memphis. My initial worries about Shaun’s place in a backcourt already crowded with young talent were soon quashed by a turn of the tide: the Grizz had traded for Livingston, only to waive him. …What?! (Apparently, there are other numbers out there that suggest the Heat are over the tax.)

In order to make room for Livingston, the Grizzlies waived Darius Miles, whose presence with the team would have helped to stick a thorn into the side of Portland GM Kevin Pritchard through a bizarre series of events that may or may not include some shady dealings from the Blazers’ medical staff. Memphis waived him to make room for Livingston, but then curiously waived Livingston once his rights made their way to the Grizz. Memphis is under the cap, much less in danger of paying the luxury tax…so what do the Grizz have to gain from waiving Livingston? That’s a completely serious, non-rhetorical question, to which I do not know the answer. Unless the money is reason enough, which it possibly could be.

While the short-term gains for Miami appear to be ambiguous at best, the view through the haze gets a bit clearer when you see them through the eyes of Ira Winderman:

The way the Livingston move was done, and with the amount of tax space cleared, the move seems to have Alonzo Mourning’s name written all over it.

Reliable as always. Youdaman, Ira. But all this seems to be much ado about nothing, if you ask me. Then again, I’d probably feel differently with millions of dollars on the line.

Footnote: Slightly related — the Clippers acquired and then waived Hassan Adams from the Raptors. The Raps are in luxury tax territory, but Adams’ salary alone is not enough for Toronto to clear themselves under the threshold.

Getting an early start on the 15 today… cause I gave up slacking for New Year’s. If you aren’t watching the BCS National Championship game like every other sports fan in America (including Moore and myself – since we have money on it. psst… don’t tell Paroxi-wife), then enjoy these two games – sacrificed by David Stern & Co.

There’s a First Time for Everything
NYK @ Dallas, 8:30est

Yeah, you just got Foreigner! Live! Don’t say HP doesn’t love you, baby!

D’Antoni’s back in Dallas and I expect ultimate calamity. Chris Duhon running circle around J-Kidd. A 45 point game from Dirk. A trade at halftime that sends David Lee, Nate Robinson and an au paire to Dallas for JubJub, Brandon Bass, a new lawnmower and a premiere Netflix subscription. Josh Howard’s head exploding in a fit of sudden vertigo at finding himself incapable of scoring on Wilson freakin’ Chandler! In truth, this game should be a force of deterrence. The Mavs will use their small roster, efficient ball movement and toughness against, well, SSOLNY (it’s like the bastard cousin of CSINY… on meth).

On a side note, good thing UT sux and didn’t make it to the NCAA Championship Game — more butts in seats at the American Airlines Arena. Cuban FTW. Cuban, always, FTW!

BREAKING NEWS! BREAKING NEWS!
LAC @ San Antonio, 8:30est

This just in. Everyone on the Clippers team has accepted the Spurs offer of declaring the game a tie. What’s that you say? A Tie? Yes. In a gesture of good faith, the international leadership of the Spurs (Duncan, Parker, Ginobli) negotiated in good faith so that uber-Americans like Boom Dizzle, Camby and Ricky Davis could all kick back and watch OU/UF tonight, at home, in their giant personal movie theaters (ZOMG – Fat Free Popcorn and Diet Soda at Dizzle’s!). Who says international affairs are on rocky terms. Heck, an act like this even gives me faith that, perhaps, the Spurs are not soul sucking, fun hating, puppy killing basketball fascists.

Oh wait, that last paragraph didn’t actually happen. But, in reality, the Clippers will be taking this one off and the Spurs will roll slowly over their limp, lifeless bodies. AKA – just like every other Clippers/Spurs game. Or, surprise Clippers upset! Just go watch the BCS and wait til tomorrow, weirdos!

I’ve made a lot of fun of Joe Alexander in my life. A LOT OF FUN. But Joe?

You just got my vote.

(Hat Tip: The Awesome Mouthpiece Sports)

Remember when Robert Horry said he was smarter than 98% of the NBA?

If there was ever a time to discuss Marbury to Boston, it would be now. Or maybe that’s just what they want you to think. Who are they? Hell if I know. But I’m sure it’s what they want. Either way, the rumors just won’t die, and it seems as though the Celtics might actually consider such a move. Poppycock, I know. But really, it falls in line with everything we know about the Celtics. Not Ubuntu or Thib’s defensive wizardry or any of that necessarily, but some greater truth about this mythical franchise that happens to rest its head in Boston.

Every team has a tragic flaw. The flaw might be exposed season after season, it might be catastrophic enough to destroy a franchise in one blow, or maybe it will simply lay dormant until the perfect storm. If you’ve watched the Celtics, particularly this season, it should be easy to identify their tragic flaw: a weak ass bench hubris. It’s easy, it’s cliche, and it probably manifests itself in more tragedies than any other flaw. But it’s more than a player with an inflated sense of self worth. The entire team (with some exceptions) seems to ooze that confidence/pride/arrogance from every pore, as if it is the very fiber of their being. The Celtics are champions. They are deserving. They are confident, even to a fault. So I ask: is it possible that the Celtics are underestimating Marbury’s homewrecking abilities because of their own collective sense of self value? Is this really a team with a subconscious that hums along with the thought that it is simply too good, too strong, and too tightly knit to succumb to the demands of a locker room terrorist like Steph?

As we know, these have been relatively hard times for the Celts. In Boston, that basically means that they’re not winning every game. As a result, it’s impossible to ignore the possibility that this team gets flat out desperate. I don’t think the Celtics are in any kind of trouble, to be honest. Yes, the bench is weaksauce, and that could be an issue down the road. But for a league that is predicated on runs, be they 5 minutes or 5 games, voices from all sorts of media outlets seem a little too eager to whip out the doomsday scenarios. Obviously I’m fairly clueless as to the inner dialogues of the Celtics’ brass, but for their sake one could only hope that those thoughts haven’t even entered their minds. The Celtics aren’t “finished” now, just like the Lakers weren’t “finished” weeks ago. Still, I would not be the least bit surprised if Starbury finds himself seeing green in a matter of weeks. If not as a product of Celtic Pride (they need to remake that movie), then as a matter of sheer desperation. Just in case you haven’t had enough Dark Knight around here lately: perhaps in their desperation, the Celtics turn to a man they don’t fully understand.

Sorry, it was too easy. But the point is made. I’m not sure how any team with a firm head on their shoulders would entertain the idea of bringing this guy in. That even applies to Popovich, to whom standard player disclaimers typically do not apply. It’s a terrible shame what has become of his career, and I still think that as long as the Knicks are paying him, he should be playing. We’ve beaten that horse to death, and so we move on down the line of horses. If you have any desire to win a championship this season, Stephon Marbury should not be on your team. It’s that simple. There’s a reason LeBron practically responded with “WTF? Are you kidding me?!” when asked about Steph suiting up in Cleveland last season. This guy is trouble. I don’t mean in the bad boy mold that makes girls weak in the knees, either (though in all fairness, Steph wears a mean leather jacket). So for Celtics fans the world over: keep praying. For Lakers fans, and those of us who generally love to see the rich get poorer and the poor get relatively richer (unless they become the rich, of course): keep your fingers crossed.