Hey remember how John Paxson was supposed to resign from his position after the deadline passed?

Wyn Douglas is an author for Canis Hoopus and a Minnesota Fan. So since he has little reason to live, he was kind enough to come up with this awesome guest piece on the history of the trade season. Oh, what a glorious day! -MM

I’ll be updating salary spreadsheets on the fly today here as deals go through.

The NBA trade deadline is a favorite of hoops fans. It’s the time when contenders, unanimous and cusp alike, ponder mortgaging the future for a better shot at championship glory. It also happens to be the same time that pretenders and bottom-dwellers look to sell off their expensive veterans for future hopes, or maybe steal a building-block from the downtrodden.

We’ve seen plenty of offseason moves since 1987, but the month of February has brought a vast amount of roster movement in the last 20+ years. In fact, there have already been 8 trades before deadline day this February.

Armed with spreadsheets, ProSportsTransactions.com and an unhealthy obsession for minutiae, I mined 135 trades from 1987 to 2008, each happening within 3 weeks of that year’s trade deadline, in order to bring you a  look at the history of February in the NBA.

The Rules: 1) Rescinded trades don’t count; 2) cash, picks that were never transferred and trade exceptions don’t count.

Busiest Trade Season

2005 saw the most trades ever with 13. 17 teams moved 37 players and 12 picks in 3 weeks. Highlights included Chris Webber to Philly, Baron Davis to Golden State, Antoine Walker to Boston for tour #2 and Glenn Robinson to the Hornets for Jamal Mashburn and Rodney Rogers (RIP Rodney’s only paralyzed, sorry dude –ed). So that year worked out pretty well for… for… Baron Davis?

2008, however, was the year when the most assets (players and picks) were moved with 49 players and 10 picks (11 moves involving 19 teams). Memphis was the team of the season, moving 13 assets that year (you may have heard about their trading a Spaniard to the City of Angels). In addtion to Gasol, 2008 was the year that Shaq went to left South Beach, Bibby went to Hotlanta and Kidd went to Dallas.

The busiest single trade season for a team (by the number of assets) was Phoenix in 1988 with 15. They made 3 trades (something 11 teams have done since 1987) and moved 4 players and a pick for 5 players and 5 picks. I’d like to have some insight on how trading Sacramento’s mayor away affected the Suns that year, but all I remember is how the 1991 Hoops cards looked so much cooler than 1988′s.

The second busiest season for a team was Atlanta in 2004 (14 assets) when they moved Sheed twice and Chris Crawford and Bobby Sura won the fantasy season for me. Third was Memphis in 2008 (13 assets) when they sent Pau, Jason Collins and Sergei Lishouk away. I’d say they’ll regret the Lishouk move most when all is said and done.

Busiest Teams All-Time

New Orleans (including their time in OKC and Charlotte), New York and Houston tie for the most trade season trades since 1987 with 14 each.

Toronto has the highest average with .77 trades per trade season (10 trades in 12 years).

Washington brings up the rear with just 2 trades in 22 years. Sorry Cavs fans, but that doesn’t bode well for Szczerbs/Jamison talk.

Biggest Trade

In 2006, the Blazers, Kings, Nuggets and Sonics got together and made the only 4-team trade in trade seasons since 1987. It was a riveting concoction that included Earl Watson, Reggie Evans, Brian Skinner, Ruben Patterson, Voshon Lenard, Vitaly Potapenko, Sergei Monia, Charles Smith, Bryon Russell, and a 2nd round pick. I wish I could give you the time it took to read those names back to you… but I can’t.

But the biggest deal by assets was in 2008 when the Bulls, Cavs and Sonics moved around 12 assets in one fell swoop. Ready? Larry Hughes, Drew Gooden, Shannon Brown, Cedric Simmons, Ben Wallace, Joe Smith, Wally Szczerbiak, Delonte West, Ira Newble, Donyell Marshall, Adrian Griffin and a 2nd round pick.

You may recognize Gooden, Simmons and Joe Smith from such trade seasons as 2009. Not to mention the fact that Hughes and Szczerbiak are candidates for new jerseys by 3pm EST today.

The next biggest move is a 3-way tie for 10 (I suppose it’s mildly noteworthy that Szczerbiak was involved in the aforementioned biggest trade and one of the 10-asset trades).

Most Traded Player

Surprisingly, this is a 12-way tie as no player has ever been traded in 4 trade seasons. There are three active players, though, that could set the record this year: Mike James, Anthony Johnson and Nazr Mohammed. My money’s on Nazr.

Trades Most Likely to Alter the CBA

Another tie between Aaron McKie and Keith Van Horn for their sign-and-trades of 2008. When Mitch Kupchak and Donnie Nelson couldn’t put together the right package for Pau Gasol and Jason Kidd, respectively, they found moves that didn’t circumvent the CBA, but made the schribs in Secaucus take note. McKie and Van Horn both signed 3-year deals that only guaranteed money in the first year. Predictably, both were cut before being paid a dime past their first years.

Case Study: Isiah Thomas

No review of the trade deadline would be complete without a look back on Zeke’s performance. While I enjoy making fun of him as much as the next bloke, you can actually see progress in his moves. They go from awful, to a mix awful, questionable and reasonable to staying pat. That’s called learning.

2004: Traded an expiring contract (Van Horn) and a 2nd round pick (Turiaf) for Tim Thomas and Nazr Mohammed

2005: Traded expiring contracts (Norris, Vin Baker) and a 2nd round pick for Maurice Taylor; traded Nazr Mohammed and Jamison Brewer for Malik Rose and 2 1st round picks (David Lee and Mardy Collins)

2006: Traded an expiring contract (Antonio  Davis) for Jalen Rose and a 1st round pick (Renaldo Balkman); Traded an expiring contract (Penny Hardaway) and Trevor Ariza for Steve Francis

2007: Stayed pat

2008: Stayed pat

And remember friends, keep hitting refresh today.

Things About the Trade Deadline

- I’m very pleased with the Bulls deal.  If it’s true that Amar’e was off the table, then I think the Bulls got the best players they could.  Not only do they get to keep Thomas AND Noah AND their first round pick, but they also rid themselves of Nocioni’s terrible contract and get insurance for Ben Gordon leaving.  The fact that Brad Miller is a source of great jokes doesn’t hurt either.

- In fact, the first of many Brad Miller jokes is already ready already.  That being said, I actually like getting Miller for basketball reasons too.  Yeah, it means Noah won’t see as much floor time, but it also means Aaron Gray will see little to no floor time.  That’s a net positive.  I don’t remember what interior scoring in Chicago looks like (yes I do, Michael Jordan), but I hear it’s supposed to be pretty cool.

- I’m hoping Paxson can do something to combine Thabo Sefalosha and John Salmons, because that’d make for a really good player.  One who can’t pass at all, but otherwise pretty good.

- As for the Kings, well, you’re saving money next year on Gooden’s expiring.  So that’s good.  I hope you won’t have to move to Kansas City now.  Matt does the insane “I DON’T HAVE A TEAM” thing a lot better than Ziller does.

Things About the 8^th Seed in the East

As it stands, the Bucks are in the 8^th playoff spot.  Howevs, the Bulls, Nets, Knicks, Bobcats, Pacers, and Raptors are all within 5 and a half games.  I can’t imagine the Bucks holding on to that spot, considering all of their employees are injured.  The Knicks lost 6 straight before somehow beating the Spurs.  The Pacers and Raptors probably don’t have enough firepower to overcome their deficit.  In my mind, the Bulls, Nets, and Bobcats are the top contenders for that spot.  Considering the move the Bulls made, you could make a case for them as the favorite, but I’m guessing (hoping) it comes down to the last week.  Of course, only the Nets could take a game from the Celtics.

Thing to Watch

It’s my birthday; the least you could do is enjoy this clip of Brad Miller announcing his triumphant return to Chicago:

Buzz-kill alert: the Chandler-to-OKC trade is no more.  And let me be the first to tell you, this is some pretty bad news for all parties involved.

As of yesterday, one team was in mourning and another finding legitimacy.  The tragic fall of the Hornets was countered by the impending meteoric rise of the Thunder, who reinforced one of their weakest positions by adding one of the game’s best interior defenders.  It all made sense for the Thunder, who used smart management and unadulterated opportunism to swipe away a young center who was a perfect fit for the team they hope to build.

That’s all changed.  Where one team fell and another rose from the ashes, both teams now stand in their own relative states of sorrow.  Oklahoma City ponders what could have been, a day’s worth of excitement and intrigue turned into nothing but a fantasy.  New Orleans is now left wondering (or the more likely: worried that the cat’s out of the bag) what defect in Chandler’s physique would be worrisome enough for the Thunder to turn down a high quality big man (that better be one helluva toe injury).

Oh, and I’m sure it won’t be awkward for anyone.

A trade that at least produced one happy party has been rescinded, and all of the happiness in the room went with it.  Any joy that goes along with Tyson’s return has been sapped by the elephant in the room, and it’s tough to say just how much his physical status could impact the Hornets’ outlook.  Maybe OKC is just enjoying the luxury of time for a team with low expectations.  Or maybe there is something legitimately problematic with Chandler’s wheel.  It does make for quite the leverage-killer though; Chandler’s curious injury status practically ensures his place in NOLA, barring some ridiculous, unspeakably lopsided trade.  That likely means that the Hornets will be active until the final bell tolls on the trade deadline this afternoon, trying desperately to clear enough salary to duck under the luxury tax line.

So, let’s all go back to our everyday lives.  It was fun while it lasted, but all good things must come to an end.  Wipe those eyes, Thunderites, and prepare to be kept up at night wondering if Tyson stubbed his pinkie toe on the curb, Hornetians.  There’s still plenty of time until the trade deadline, and I’m doubtful we’ve heard the last from either of these franchises.

Welcome to Mihmphis, y’all.

One year ago, the Memphis Grizzlies sent Pau Gasol to the Lakers for questionable returns and under questionable circumstances.  It transformed L.A. from hopefuls to contenders, with seemingly no basketball benefit for the Grizz.

Then, last night, the Lakers agreed to send Chris Mihm* to the Grizzlies in a Camby-esque salary dump.  Chris Mihm for a future conditional second round pick?  Hello Lakers?  It’s common sense calling.  You just made a HUGE mistake…or did they?  It all seems a bit suspicious.  Could it be that the real prize of the Gasol trade was not Marc Gasol’s rights or the mythical creature known as cap space, but actually a highly conditional side trade which would ultimately steal away the Mihmster?  The Mihmdog?  Mihmastopholes?

I’m on to you, Chris Wallace.

*Chris Mihm is terrible at basketball.

Everybody wants John Salmons.  Nobody wants Brad Miller.  So naturally, through problem solving, you package your attractive commodities with your unattractive ones and manage to get…decidedly less attractive ones.

When given the choice of paying Andres Nocioni until 2012 or Brad Miller until 2010, I’ll do what I can with Miller.  He’s a more productive offensive player than Noc, and seems like a generally less angry person.  Plus, you’d have to think that Miller’s expiring $12ish million contract will be pure gold going into the summer of 2010 .  If the Kings want to wait and try their hand with the free agents, then awesome.  Or if they want to try to pry a nice star from the clutches of a LeBronstruck GMs, that’s cool too.  Either way it provides the Kings with a nice player in the short-term, and hopefully an even better one in the long-term.

Instead, they stood up the midlevel girl everyone wanted to take to the prom, and in return saved some money and will be paying Andres Nocioni’s mortgage.  Lovely.

Noc does give the Kings a more natural fit at the 3, but that doesn’t change the fact that his game is based almost exclusively on hustle, overdoing it, and taking questionable shots as his emotions run wild.  He’ll hit people, but sometimes at the expense of your offensive and defensive sets.  Sounds worth it, right?  Brad Miller happens to completely suck at defense, but he also plays the hardest position to fill and gives you offensive production from the high post.  Elementary, my dear Petrie.

Kudos to the Bulls for getting out from under Nocioni’s contract, and finding two starting caliber players in a bargain bin.  Joakim Noah does, well, things on the floor, but he has trouble playing center.  Aaron Gray is better than you’d think, but he’s not ready for big-time minutes.  Brad Miller gives the Bulls a new look at the 5, including some actual offense (?!).  Tyrus Thomas is becoming everything I’d ever hoped he would be, and having the new-and-improved Tyrus in the frontcourt with Gray, Noah, and Miller is pretty solid.  Not ‘win a playoff series’ solid, but probably ‘make the playoffs’ solid.  Baby steps, yo.

Drew Gooden is free money.

John Salmons allows us to openly criticize Ben Gordon again, which I would list among my all-time favorite pastimes.  He hasn’t been bad this season, but he’s now the most obviously expendable piece on the roster not named Larry Hughes.  It would be nice if the Bulls could get something for him before the deadline passes, but I wouldn’t bet on it.  Word on the street is that there isn’t exactly a buyer’s market for small shooting guards whose egos are bigger than they are.  Salmons is a better defender and gives the Bulls some size in the backcourt, and his game seems to complement Rose’s well.  He’s not perfect, but he’s one of the best midlevel exceptionees I’ve seen.  Me likey.

Paroxi-Wife columns may only be marginally related to the game of basketball.  But then again, All-Star weekend only marginally features basketball, so maybe it’s cool.

Unfinished Business: O.J. Mayo/OJAM!

In case I was unclear before, I do actually understand that “J’Anthony,” O.J. Mayo’s middle name is one name/word, but I still am looking at his name in terms of its capital letters, which spell out OJAM.  The only reason this occurred to me is because the guy plays basketball.  If he was a golfer or a bowler, I wouldn’t be advocating we all call him “OJAM” because it wouldn’t fit (unless he liked jam).  So even though it might not be technically accurate, I’m arguing that OJAM! is a solid recommendation for a nickname, especially the more he rocks.  When he’s not really on, I feel lame saying, “OJAM….?” but I’m willing to persevere.

All-Star Weekend Thoughts

MM wasn’t at all excited about the 3-point contest at all until I exclaimed, “But I love 3-point shooters!” and then suddenly he was interested at the EXACT SAME TIME our V-Day dinner was ready.  So either I’m persuasive or he really doesn’t like crab enchiladas.  Regardless, I hold you in high regard if you’re a decent 3-point shooter.

Dear Terrell Owens,  What the hell are you doing in Phoenix, you inconsistent fantasy football drain?  Why am I forced to look at you during basketball season?  If you’ve got time to give interviews, you’ve got time to do stair repeats.  You’d better get to it or I’ll put you on my list to drop should I draft you again- right after Willis McGahee.  Sincerely, Your Angry Fantasy Owner

Dwight Howard, you clean up just fine.  Very nice gray suit for your coaching gig.  And I don’t care if the dunk contest was rigged, it was still pretty badass of you to dunk on a 12-foot basket. I’m amazed you haven’t rescued more kittens from trees.

Dear Pau Gasol: you are FIRED from ever passing a ball behind your back.

Also, I figured out who Pau reminds me of: Mr. Tumnus, the faun from The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe.  Granted, this could be seen as an insult to Mr. Tumnus (and James McAvoy), but see for yourselves…

I really feel like I should have something to say about Kevin Durant, but I wasn’t rooting for him during the HORSE contest, and I missed the second half of the Rookie/Sophomore game due to messing around on the internet, so I’m out.  I will say that I’m not completely on the Durant bandwagon because he hasn’t really excited me beyond my apathy.  I’m thinking he’ll grow into much more of a presence as he gets older.

MJ, it is categorically less than classy to grope your itty-bitty girlfriend’s ass during a photo-op.  Just bend you elbow for a minute and leave us all able to blissfully ignore your sexcapades.

Bill Russell, on the other hand, seems like a very classy gentleman, and not just because he reminds me of Morgan Freeman.  Always give props to your team, kids, those are the people  who will bail you out of jail without threatening to embarrass you at family reunions.

TRADES

Dude, I’m not happy.  First, Baron  Davis decides to be a moron and I’m out a Warlocks team, so I transferred the whole of my affections to New Orleans and CP3.  But now, they’re sold out and CP is going to be madder than, well, a hornet, and I’m right back to where I was: without an interesting slightly underdog team to root for in the playoffs.  Just another way the economy is affecting everyday people like me.  Argh.  I bite my thumb at you, mortgage lenders!

FOR THE RECORD

I would like it noted that a full two weeks before MM really got on board, I was saying, “Who’s that guy?” about David Lee, and Matt told me he was some guy who was good but not great.  Now, Matt thinks he’s the bomb, and I think I scooped him.

Additionally, I’m the one who pointed out that Michael Beasley needs to stop leaving his guy and sliding down to try to double on D, because he keeps getting schooled.  You’re not in Kansas anymore, Mike.  At least Wade’s got your back.

Flowers will bloom.
Weather will warm.
T-Mac will be out with a season ending injury.
Some things never change. Huzzah!

“And when I shoulda been gone a long time
It laughs, and says I find ways.
Just when they’re sheltered under paper
The rockets come at us sideways.”

– Touche’, Meat Puppets. Tou-bleeping-che’.

(Updated: Grungedave corrected me: T-Mac has never had a season-ending injury before. How could I be so foolish – he has to make it back in time to lose in the first round of the playoffs. Duh!)

Thing You Need to Believe Me About

The point of this space is to show you what you need to be paying attention to in the NBA.  So please, consider this a warning: if you don’t watch the Thunder, you’re not going to understand a lot of these posts.

For realsies, Kevin Durant is amazing.  He alone is worth the price of admission, and outside of the Bulls, the Thunder are my only appointment viewing league-wide so he’ll be on here a lot.  He went for 47 points last night on 16-27 shooting, with 3 rebounds, 2 assists, and 2 turnovers.  He’s averaging 29.5 a game in 2k9, to go with nearly 8 rebounds.  He’s the future of the league and the future is now.

It’s not ludicrous to suggest that, for the past month and a half, Durant has been a top 10 player in the NBA.  I mean, those are basically equivalent to what LeBron has done in the same time frame.  We’ve known about his potential, but it’s awesome to see him start to realize it so soon.  All this and Scott Brooks can’t even call a play to get him open.  Amazing.

Thing About the End of the Bobcats/Magic Game

C’mon Raymond Felton.  Don’t pull up for three with the game tied and three seconds on the clock.  Your eFG is 40% out there.  Get to the basket.  Your eFG is 45% in there.  That’s a higher number.  Not to mention you only make 3 out of 10 from the arc.  I’m just worried for you.  I don’t want Larry Brown to try to kneecap you.

Thing About the Bobcats I Learned While Looking for Raymond Felton’s Stats

The Bobcats have played 23 different players so far this year.  That’s four more than any other team in the league.  One of them was Cartier Martin.  He makes great eyeglasses.

So, I am sure that many of our loyal readers are very aware of my propensity to exaggerate and make absolutely absurd projections with basically no factual backing or reasonable, measured deliberation. Instead, I just write something stupid, try to pound my chest like King Kong and make myself out to be the  A-hole every knows and loathes. And you know what, that’s cool with me.

You know what ain’t cool with me – making this prediction. It’s all fun and games until I have to give a written sponge bath to the Spurs. The good thing about it all is that, much like our economy, all the teams I truly care about in the NBA are imploding and paying the price for bad management, worse manuevering and diabolically disastrous arrogance. So, I got that going for me, which is nice.

Ever for hyper-partisan, uber-haters like me, during times like these one can truly come to realize what makes you love this league so much. The rational side of my brain (and yes, its true, one does exist) appreciates not only the insdie excellence of the Spurs, but you can appreciate the entire scope of influence they have over this league. It is, to say it in a word, breathtaking. At this time of the season when so many on the outs become reflexive, curious about what could have been, there must also be time made for what is – because from here on out, seasons are made.

The Spurs are the 9th grade head cheerleader. The coolest chick in school on which every guy has a crush and all dream about when they go to bed. Yeah, sure, she may not be the HOTTEST chick, but she has all the power, she even turns the teachers’ heads, she is way too far out of your league and, even though she’s got dibs on any guys she wants, she would rather just shut them all out. She would rather stay the course, be the prize. She’s out with with the first string quarterback one weekend, the star pitcher the next and at the varsity basketball coach’s house the following weekend in a tight mini-skirt and push up bra because her parents are best friends with his wife and she might just step in front of the sprinkler by accident just to see who wants to dry her off.  She’s just not that into you.

This chick (the Spurs) are only focused on one thing. In the chicks case, Harvard. In the Spurs case, NBA Championships. Nothing else matters. Not hooking up, not pep rallies, not bake sales. If it doesn’t get them where they want to go, it’s not worth doing. They are judicious, focused and manically obsessed with feeding their insatiable desires. Some may call it unhealthy. They see it as the only way to live.

And because of this (we are now done with my high school analogies) they are envied. They were able to draft (and keep) two of the most unselfish superstars of the modern NBA – Duncan and Robinson. They find players who fit their own system, be they young/old,  fast/slow, skilled/hustle guys, you name it. They win with old guys like Kurt Thomas and Steve Kerr and young guys like Tony Parker and Stephen Jackson. They win when they have superb athleticism and when they need more savvy. They win in the offseason, they win during trade season, they win in the postseason – when it, ultimately, counts.

They have built a perpetual title contender, capable of beating fast teams and slow teams, big teams and small teams, experienced teams and youngery, trickier teams. They are the team we perpetually hate because we all wish we were them and we aren’t. We hate their fans for not filling out the AT&T Center every night, for making San Antonio the epicenter of basketball, for showing that defense truly does win championships. Fans don’t want that. They don’t! But it works. Plus, you find ways to meld truly feel good stories like Sean Elliot’s recovery and championship with awful black eyes on the league like Robert Horry’s hipcheck and Bruce Bown’s karate defense. And you do it on a budget. Do we need R. C. Buford in the Congressional Budget Office?

All of the really great dynasties have been helmed (mostly) by players that people want to be, not ones they want to kill. The Lakers had Magic, Kareem and Rambis. The Celtics had Larry, the Chief and DJ. The Bulls has MJ, Scottie and Rodman Bill Wennington. The Spurs have Ginobli, Parker and Bonner. I mean, really? Those guys? Yeah, those guys. These are not iconic guys. They are not likeable anywhere outside of South Texas. Heck, they may not even be liked much there. They exist in a vacuum, a bubble of winning playoff basketball and eternal heartburn for yours truly. And you know what, for this one time, I am okay with it.

It’s at times like these, with dire circumstance coursing throughout the real world (not to mention the excrutiating pain pulsating through about 25 teams in the league) that we need someone like the Spurs. We need a team that gets back to the basics. Someone we can depend on to be there through the ides of March and into the the delirium of April. We need a team that refuses to budge without going 7 games. A team that we know. A team that we all, regardless of affiliation, understand, admire and wish to emulate. It no surprise that on Simmons’ Trade Value Column Duncan has been the one constant near the top. No one wants any more turbulence right now. No more plane crashes. No more mass layoffs. No more Jabberwokeez. We just want familiarity, we want execellence. That is why the Spurs are still here and that’s why they will never die. And we should applaud them for that… and offer our thanks.

(if there are typos, I apologize. I tried to speed through this as fast as I could. You’re welcome, blogosphere. Now, who’s ready for another bet? Double or nothing!)