A full slate today, so no time to waste.
Power Forwards? We Don’t Need No Stinkin’ Power Forwards
Rockets @ Warriors 10:30EST (Via the Corndogg)
Don Nelson is now the Governator of Crazytown. With word that Magettee may start at PF and that Anthony Randolph (he of all things holy and good in the eyes of HP) is right back in the doghouse, the season feels comfortably underway. I haven’t see someone try this much inside sabotage since my 8th viewing of “The Departed.”
Meanwhile, the Rockets were rusty and Ariza underwhelmed last night. This is the kind of game they won’t even need to slow down, as Stephen Curry could easily be walking around like Brick Tamland with a pitchfork before the nights over, looking lost – yet hopeful.
(Sorry, wayyyy too many pop culture references in this first 15 Footer for 2009. I’ve been gone too long.)
Nuke the Moon
Kings @ Thunder 8:00EST (Via the Corndogg)
Blowing up La Luna make far more sense than trying to stop Kevin Durant. You Just Cant DO IT! This is the season for KDu and your firearms are useless against him. The Thunder will easily be the team I watch the most highlights of (since I wont ever be able to see them play).
Add to the Thunder mix a revamped Westbrook, a sleeker James Harden and (Trey Kerby fave) B.J. Mullens and this will be the most exciting 32 win team this side of Phoenix.
As for Sacto… you still have the Kevin Martin, or, our used to be favorite guy from a crappy team who scores in unique ways and makes you feel all warm and gooey inside. ‘Reke Havoc will be the new nickname hotness of 09/10.
And, lest ye need more sustenance through this NBA Great Depression – you Sactown(ians?) now have Zach Harper as their official Truehoop Network blogger! And Sean May! I say Rejoice! (That’s 3 !s. Share this moment with pride).
Twin Fails, but Opposite – That makes sense, right?
Jazz @ Nuggets 10:30EST (Via the Corndogg)
It’s hard to really knock on either of these teams, but we all know that failure is assured amongst each fan base. For the Jazz, its because they are the exact same team. Yep, that’s right – the exact team that will get between a 4-7 seed, lose decisively in the playoffs and fail to make any reasonable changes next offseason.
For the Nuggets, we all saw the promies of last year. Focused Melo, Chauncey’s leadership, Birdman’s wingspan and Balkman. Yep, just Balkman. But even with minor tweaks, we’re looking right at a Denver team that will get between a 4-7 seed, lose decisively in the playoffs and fail to make any reasonable changes next offseason.
Edge: Jazz, because at least they don’t have to hope any more. This Denver mixture is just new enough to cause some unwarranted moments of false security, enabling massive spikes in overconfidence and team capabilities – resulting in painful crashes back to reality. Sort of like stopping that 2 week bender with Birdman 1.0. Jazz fans, you keep getting older, but Sloan & Co. just stay the same…
Superman Returns Starring … Andre Iguodala As Lex Luther? (76ers at Magic, 7:00PM EST; by Zach Harper)
The Eastern Conference champs are with Rashard Lewis Canseco and possibly feel slighted for not getting top billing on opening night. Instead, they get relegated to the first game orgy night of the season in which they’re broadcasted on local TV rather than the national spotlight. And do the Magic even get a worthy matchup? No, they have to pretend the Philadelphia 76ers are worthy adversaries and act like their number one ranked defense from last season is afraid of Lou Williams’ court vision and Andre Iguodala’s outside shooting. But they shouldn’t take this Sixers’ team lightly. The boys from Philly will try to out-athleticize (officially a new word) the Magic with Iggy and Thad Young. The plan to shove Kryptonite in Superman’s craw is to body him up with Elton Brand, Marreese Speights, or Samuel Dalembert and then let the long arms of their athletic wings try to confuse and attack with quick double teams and hopefully, quicker rotations. Orlando will counter with a deluge of three-point makes and pull out a sort-of-easy double-digit win.
Oh Jeez… Look At This Dump! Hey Dwyane, You Should Check Out Our Place. (Knicks at Heat, 7:30PM EST; by Zach Harper)
How do you convince Dwyane Wade to leave that dump of a South Beach for the cold winter nights of New York City? Show him how great Danilo Gallinari is! Sure, this Knicks team is going to play at one of the fastest paces in the league and throw up triple digits on the scoreboard most nights but the fact that they could really use a successful implementation of Eddy Curry into the lineup/system shows just how desperate for talent this team is. The highlight of this show is to see just how good and motivated Dwyane Wade is this season. Is he going to be a pseudo-lame duck superstar that goes through the motions on a mediocre team? Or will he unnecessarily try to prove his worth night in and night out by making a valid pitch for MVP? Throw in the first game of Jermaine O’Neal’s contract year campaign and you’ve got every reason to simply watch a quarter of this game to get your fill of Wade before jumping ship to ANY OTHER GAME ON THE SCHEDULE.
Who Would Have Thought The Highlight Of Our Twilight Years Would Be That Tandem Bicycle? (Suns at Clippers, 10:30PM EST; by Zach Harper)
‘Those were the days…â€
I really want to be excited about Baron Davis going against Steve Nash in an up-tempo reimagining. And it would have been perfect to see Amare Stoudemire and Amare Stoudemire 2.0 (Blake Griffin) try to match each other highlight for highlight as the two teams dip into the 110s tonight. Actually… you know what? There IS plenty of reason to be excited about this game. We’re going to get to see one of those good old-fashioned run’n’guns in which the two teams care more about getting quick, quality shots than they do about locking down defensively and slowing the pace of this game. Not even Mike Dunleavy can take this one away from us. You’ll be treated to a “Who’s quicker?†contest between Leandro Barbosa and Eric Gordon. Two familiar faces with Grant Hill and Marcus Camby exchanging pleasantries will delight you. You’ll get to see both Griffin brothers watching the game from the bench but for completely different reasons. There’s so much symmetry here!
Now Is The Winter Of Our Discontent. Again. Yes, It Follows The Fall Of Our Discontent. Yes, Next It Will Be The Spring Of Our Discontent. Are You Really Not Seeing A Pattern Here? (New Jersey at Minnesota, 8PM EST; by Moore)
Ricky Rubio opens the season against a premier point guard in the league, Devin Harris tonight as… oh. Sorry, forgot about that. Silly me. Let’s all have a laugh together, shall we? Ho ho ho. What mirth. Â Anyway, the Wolves B Screwed. No Love. No Jefferson. Rookie point. Gomes is the next best player on the floor, potentially, depending on how Brewer’s feeling. Meanwhile, the Nets are expected to be one of the worst teams, if not the worst team in the league, despite having Harris, CDR, Terrence Williams, Josh Boone, and Brook Lopez. What’s bizarre is tonight? Tonight’s a must win for the Nets. I know I’m insane. First game. But do you want to start a year where everyone expects you to fail by losing to a team without their two best players? It’s okay if you’re the Lakers and you know you’re better anyway. Not so good if you’re not the Lakers and this could spell the beginning of the longest season ever. Plus, the Russian dude is watching, and those guys can be unhinged pretty easy. I think it’s the Vodka.
Taken (For Granted) (Charlotte at Boston, 7:30PM EST; by Moore)
Charlotte plays Boston close, it has for years. Be it overlooking them, matchup problems, injuries, whatever. But tonight you’ve got Tyson Chandler who may or may not play, no Okafor who’s played well against Boston. They’re facing Boston in their home opener. so it’s an opportunity to strut which the Celtics take very seriously. And Diaw versus Rasheed Wallace is not nearly as advantageous as it should be. Meanwhile Rondo versus Augustin and Felton isn’t beneficial. So all signs point to Boston. This game means a lot more for Charlotte than it does to Boston. Charlotte has a brutal schedule to start and grabbing a win against a napping Boston would avoid a panic. Meanwhile, Boston already won the biggest game they have in the first month. We’re going to see just how mediocre the Bobcats are tonight, for good or bad.
Do Not Anger The Bull God (Cleveland at Toronto, 7PM EST; by Moore)
Hey, I’m in full on “Cavs are going to have make significant strides to convince me they’re not paper tigers” mode after last night following the Magic series. But James is not losing two games in a row. Toronto can’t rebound, the Cavs can. Toronto can’t defend, the Cavs can. Even though I think Toronto is more talented 1-5 and a win wouldn’t shock me, I don’t see Toronto being ready to compete immediately with teams like Cleveland. Something to watch tonight is who guards Shaq. Because Bosh doesn’t have the size, and Bargnani will foul out in four minutes. Meanwhile, Hedo guarding LBJ didn’t work well in the Conference Finals, won’t work well tonight. I like the backcourt advantage for Toronto, but barring Bargnani drifting out to 12 feet and downing jumper after jumper, this one could get out of hand and into Cavalier control early, based simply on chemistry and pedigree.
Plus, James might kill a man if they lose. And that man would be Mo Williams.
No One Can Stop Me Now (Because None Of Us Can Stop Anyone) (Detroit at Memphis, 8PM EST; by Moore)
Great opening matchup for both teams. I cannot stress enough how bad both of these teams are going to be defensively. Mayo’s not going to make huge strides, Gay’s useless outside of the passing lane, the Pistons have no size, Ben Gordon is short, and both teams can run, shoot, score, and can’t stop anyone. Over/Under should be the exponent of A WHOLE HELL OF A LOT.
But let’s talk about the matchup you’re all waiting for. Forget Parker/Paul. Forget Billups/Deron. This is the big one.
KWAME BROWN andHASHEEM THABEET star in the major motion picture… YOU CAN ONLY BUST ONCE.
We May Not Be Deep, But We’re Deep Thinkers  (Hornets @ Spurs – 8:00 PM EST, ESPN; by Kyle Weldie)
The storyline of this game is clear. It’s all about DeJuan Blair and his lack of knee cartilage versus the perpetual impending breakout of Ike Diogu. Unfortunately, Diogu is out and the Hornets are dealing with a myriad of nagging injuries to start the season while Blair chewed off a dude’s arm while going for a rebound and is currently under investigation for criminal charges.
Instead, we will go with the arrival of Darius Songaila in the NOLA. Songaila is particularly adept as setting hard picks for PGs up top and then causing defensive fits with the range on his jumper on the pop. Vegas has set the over/under on pick-n-pops between D-Song and Chris Paul at 1.5.
Also, keep an eye on a potential matchup between Songaila, formerly known as the ‘White Knight’ with the Wizards and Matt Bonner, the Red Rocket.
The Spurs and the Hornets split last year’s series at two apiece, each team winning on their home court. Just like last year, if New Orleans scores more than 100 points, they win. Also, whenManu Ginobili scored exactly 17 points, the Spurs lost. When Peja Stojakovic scored exactly four points, the Spurs won.
Line: Spurs by 9Â
Call: SA 99, NOLA 89
R-E-S-P-E-C-Try Actually Putting Together A Contender (Pacers @ Hawks – 7:00 PM EST; by Kyle Weldie)
The Pacers want to be respected, but for them to have a chance in this one, T.J. Ford will need to run circles around Mike Bibby and then do a little dance on Joe Johnson’s face. And even at that, the Hawks likely take this one running away. Defensive stopper Dahntay Jones is probably out. Danny Granger is doubtful, questionable, and all of the above. Larry Bird is resting at home in French Lick. And the Pacers cable network is opting to show a rendition of Hoosiers featuring French mimes playing against released Gitmo hostages instead. Indy is effed.
Also … Troy Murphy and Josh Smith are polar opposites.
Math … Josh McRoberts + Jeff Foster = Al Horford / Bill Murray
Line: Hawks by 8
Call: ATL 111, IND 94
