Allright. Tis Friday, when we get past disappointing marquee matchups and back to watching good not great teams battle bad not terrible teams. Hooray!

Oh, Hey, How Are You? We’re Good. No, We Haven’t Won Yet. Yeah, No, All Our Guys are Hurt. Really? Your Team’s Having Trouble, Too? That’s Weird…

New Jersey at Orlando, 7PM EST

New Jersey’s the second girlfriend. Doesn’t carry the same seething hatred for the ex that Toronto does, things ended pretty amicably, had some good times, still giggles when they think about what the ex looked like naked. So this game has little emotional impact for either side. But man, the Nets need a break. They need some sort of epic collapse, a FAILboat so big it could carry King Kong. They need just for once, nothing to go their opponents way and everything to go their way. So really, there couldn’t be a better time to play the Magic. The odds point to a pissed off Orlando Magic taking it out on the lowly Nets, but hey, Nets gotta win sometime.

Brand and Boozer Should Go Bowling.

Utah at Philadelphia, 7pM EST

Boozer’s actually not playing that badly for Utah, but then, they’re still losing games. Deron’s out tonight with a personal issue, which is a bummer, and should make it easier for feisty Lou Williams to do some damage. Meanwhile Marreese Speights versus Paul MANSAPP should be the most entertaining component of this game. Speights has the range but Millsapp’s got the muscle. Both are trying to stay afloat in tough divisions and we all know the Jazz need as many road wins as they can suckle off early in the season.

Not All Who Wander Are Lost, But Not All Idiots Are Savants

Golden State at New York, 7:30EST

Monta Ellis is the sacrificial lamb this week to Nellie’s insane nonsensical ramblings, as the season from hell continues unabated. That’s right, Byron Scott got canned because he has Peja Stojakovic and Mo Peterson along with Devin Brown while Don Nelson has five potential All-Stars and couldn’t coach his way out a paper bag. There should be high entertainment in this game what with the high scoring systems and silly, crazy players, but the lack of inspiration between the two just makes this seem like Picasso fakes being painted by hotel room art artists.

FAILTREK: THE NEXT GENERATION

Portland at New Orleans, 8PM EST

So the team’s losing, they have very little support for CP3, the Saints are really good, and they just fired their coach. That sound you hear is the sound of what’s left of the fanbase bolting for the last Abita tour. That city’s had shakey attendance figures for years. They were building something with that winning team, but now that they’re back to dregs? Watch it.  In terms of actual basketball, CP3 shoots 60%, David West scores 18 on 13 shots, and the Hornets get killed by 15. But on the bright side, the game will be really slow and not fun to watch.

Straw Men Tell No Tales

Dallas at Minnesota, 8PM EST

Dallas lost to a San Antonio team without TD or Parker because they couldn’t care enough to try. Luckily, they don’t have to try tonight and they probably will. The Mavs have that feel for a bully that can beat up everyone but kids its own size. And the Lakers apparently. The Minnesota Timberwolves, however, have the feel of a grease fire in a rancid McDonalds. Kahn’s already talking about freaking out and going on a mass trading binge. This could get fun if Minnesota gets annihilated again tonight. Maybe steam will come out of his ears.

Knock Knock. Who’s There? The Celtics. You’re Dead. *Dies

Atlanta at Boston, 8PM EST ESPN

The Hawks are very much the middle class of the league. I mean, they have an SUV and a boat and a pool, but they still have to cut out coupons for the store and Billy’s not going to spacecamp, you know? The Celtics on the other hand don’t shoot a lot around the basket and don’t get many free throws, but are murdering everything in sight. The days of Atlanta sneaking up on Boston ended two years ago. IT’s back to the dungeons, suburbanite! I do like the idea of Marquis Daniels versus Marvin Williams, though.

If At First You Don’t Succeed, You’re Probably Screwed Because You’re Not Very Good

Houston at Sacramento, 10PM EST

I joke about these teams not being good, but if you’re watching one game tonight, I’d opt for this one. Aaron Brooks versus Tyreke Evans, Luis Scola versus Hawes, and two teams that are playing with a lot of pride right now. It’ll be fast, it’ll be rough, Reke’s going to have ample opportunity to go off and the Rockets are the most fun team to watch right now. Getcha popcorn ready.

Yet Another In a Long Line of Illusions

LA Lakers at Denver, 10:30 EST

Lakers win, because even on a back to back, they’re much, much, much better than this team. Don’t buy the hype. The Nuggets are Carmelo and a lot of shooting over good defense. Lakers roll tonight, again.

Weird Lookin’ White Guy Battle O’ The Night

Toronto at Clippers, 10:30PM EST

The Raptors will win and Bosh will be beastly, but Kaman versus Bargnani is going to be hilarious in many ways. I wonder if Kaman will start scratching his head and freaking out when Bargs pulls up for a three as if he’s just invented fire.