What has four thumbs and makes funny faces in an alternating fashion?

These guys!

Lion Face: Peja Stojakovic
When the annals of the NBA get reviewed some day, we’re going to be looking over the top shooters in the history of the NBA. Every one will talk about the usual suspects – Ray Allen, Reggie Miller, Steve Kerr, Mark Price, Dirk Nowitzki, Lawrence Funderburke and Steve Nash. But I worry we’re going to have overlooked Peja Stojakovic because he had a bad back and faded into the twilight of his career. But every once in a while, he shows the flash that everybody saw in the glory days of Sacramento Kings basketball. He shows the step back three. He shows the ability to find the open spots on the floor so effortlessly that you start to think you’re watching Night Crawler out there.

Against the Suns on Thursday night, Peja was down right 2004 material. He knocked down seven threes in eleven attempts. He grabbed 13 rebounds. He hit big shot after big shot. He was a consistent barrage of threes by making two bombs in three of the four quarters. He was simply deadly like we used to watch. He may only get to this semi-novaness performance once every four to six weeks or so but when he brings it, you just know that everything else is a splash.

Lemon Face: Phoenix Suns Big Men
The reason I never take teams like the Suns and Hawks seriously is because it’s always an early season façade that seems to trick people into thinking they’re possibly more than we originally thought. It’s like with the Seattle Supersonics playoff from 2005. They shocked everybody when it was supposed to be a down season and they ended up winning 52 games. They even made it past the first round of the playoffs and continued to shock the world. But they were flawed – horribly, horribly flawed. They were all three-point shooting and nothing of significance inside where it counted.

And I look at this Phoenix team in a similar way. Sure, it’s cute they’re 10-2 going into last night’s action and they put on a great show with Steve Nash running the helm. But you look at the big man combination of Amare Stoudemire and Channing Frye and you have to wonder, how can they ever grab a key rebound or defend the basket with these two softies back there? They got outrebounded by the Hornets by 18 on Thursday. Not only that but they gave up 25 offensive rebounds. The Hornets are a decent enough rebounding team with West and Okafor out there but one of the top teams should NOT get killed on the boards like that against a team that will struggle to make the playoffs, at best.

Lion Face: Oops-Pau-Surprise
Isn’t it sort of scary when a healthy Pau Gasol is forced upon us? I mean, there we are, meandering about the NBA world thinking that anybody is ripe for the West taking with Kobe Bryant and company sort of hobbled and then they screw everything up by bringing back a tall Spaniard with acting experience and a hell of a post presence. Pau returned to the court Thursday and all he did was put in 24 points, 13 rebounds, and three assists. He didn’t dominate in a 40 or 50-point fashion. He didn’t grab 20 rebounds or have a Hugh Downs 20-20 game. He didn’t block half a dozen shots or make 11 of 12 shots in root to a near perfect performance. He just went out and had a routinely brilliant game in a double-digit win for the Lakers. That sound you just heard was the collective dropping of an F Bomb by front offices around the league.

Lemon Face: Luolz Deng
You almost had me Luolz. You really did. I started thinking you were really good. I started thinking you were perhaps closer to that contract you signed than what I had presumed before and after your injury-riddled season last year. You had a chance to prove yourself against the Lakers and what you did against their long, physical frontcourt was truly mediocre. Six points, six boards, and 3/11 shooting and it took you 37 minutes to complete this failed mission. Once again, you almost had me, just like John Travolta’s revival in the 90s. I was all set after Michael and Pulp Fiction (not in that order of course).

But then I saw Broken Arrow and knew someone had tried to dupe me. You, sir, are John Travolta in Broken Arrow.

Lion Face: Joakim Noah
(Yawn) Double-double (snore) couple of blocks (bored) some steals and assists (another yawn) best post defender in the NBA and if Dwight Howard gets Defensive Player of the Year because he blocks more shots when Joakim Noah is clearly a far superior defender then I’m going to make the voters eat negative Joakim articles for breakfast.

Lemon Face: San Antonio Spurs Medical Staff
Keep your team healthy! It’s your job! Although, thanks for keeping Manu Ginobili from getting rabies! It would’ve looked something like this:

You wouldn’t want Manu calling Matt Bonner a hipster doofus.

Lion Face: Andrei Kirilenko
I love the fact that he’s tried to get a better standing with Jerry Sloan by copying his haircut from the 1980s. It’s a savvy, veteran move. And it’s helped him get back to filling up stat sheets and making fantasy owners salivate at the original Josh Smith. He didn’t have a great game against the Spurs on Thursday but he sure did have an effective game. He tallied 13 points, eight boards, three steals, three assists and a block for good measure. When he’s doing a little bit of everything, he’s much better than when he does a lot of one or two things. If he plays like this, especially in the playoffs, it makes the Jazz a tough out.

Lemon Face: Adam Morrison
This guy is bad at his job. And his job doesn’t even require him to do anything. He misses wide-open jumpers as a professional shooter, which is like putting a baseball on a tee for Albert Pujols and asking him to make solid contact. When I was in Las Vegas in the Summer League, I was positioned on press row where the teams walked by us before and after games to get to wherever they had to go. Each time the Lakers passed us, Adam and I happened to lock eyes. I felt like he always felt like I was judging and criticizing him. He was right each time. It’s pretty bad when everybody on the planet as a professional basketball player intimidates you; even worse when you were the third pick in the draft.

Lion Face: The Brad Miller Show
This gets the always-coveted Lifetime Lion Face award.

Watching Scal and B-Rad bicker is just like watching Hoyle and Dean in White Men Can’t Jump, or Tango and Cash in Tango and Cash, or Star Jones and Rosie O’Donnell on The View. It’s always golden.

Lemon Face: Lamar Odom
I’ll freely admit – tonight, I watched the first 50 minutes of the Lamar Odom and Khloe Kardashian Wedding Special. I know he’s getting paid good money to have this relationship with a girl who has the same head shape as Viggo from Ghostbusters 2. And I know it’s fun for people to be on TV.

But watching him have to force pretending to have this relationship and pretend to enjoy Khloe kissing all over him is one of the most painful things I’ve ever seen. It’s worse than watching any torture scene from Hostel or five minutes of Bride Wars. I’ll never look at him the same. I’d respect him more if he did this with Bruce Jenner. At least, he’s willing to have the plastic surgery to keep up physical illusions.