Lion Face/Lemon Face 11.2.09

Kings-Grizzlies was the most entertaining game last night. And while I love games like that between teams like that, it still says something. Although Gasol v. Hawes was like some sort of strange trickle-down-economic versus globalism thread.

What is Lion Face/Lemon Face?

Lion Face: UUUUUUUUGGGGH…ZACH RANDOLPH

The searing pain continues. Not only does Randolph drop 30 and 16 (on a respectable 21 shots), but he nails a pullup fadeaway that almost won them the game in regulation. Only 1 assist, but he’s been dropping more than 4.4 per 36. I wouldn’t say he’s a central part of the offense, he just kind of comes in and gets buckets then leaves. He’s kind of like the giant troll in Lord of the Rings: Fellowship of the Rings. He’s not necessarily on the bad guys’ side, but he’s really just punching things for food. Hé splaing well, and a big reason for how competitive the Grizzlies have been.

Lemon Face: Tyreke Evans. If everyone else gets to give Greg Oden three years, I get to give him more than a week. But his tentativeness kills the opportunities the Kings get. He can get to the rack when he tries. But too often he’s trying to solve the puzzle on the way to the puzzle store. It’s a weird set with JT and Hawes too.  They’re still learning where the others are going to be on the floor, and that hurts his capacity. But he’s got to make some plays to get paying time.

Lion Face: Daryl Morey

There has to be something bigger, mathematically, than this. For Trevor Ariza to work out like this? We all trashed that idea! The Rockets were 5.81 points better with Chuck Hayes on the floor before last night, for God’s sake! What is happening?! It’s early, yes. And they’re going to fade, I still believe, because they’re all going to get injured killing themselves like they are right now. You cannot outwork Houston right now. You just can’t. You can bust your ass all you want, they’re going to work harder, be smarter, make every single small play that you need. Teams with potential and no focus always wonder where those little plays are. The answer, as I tweeted last night, is that the Rockets have stolen all of those plays from your team and are keeping them for themselves. Shane Battier was +36 against a predicted playoff team last night. They have no star power! This isn’t supposed to happen! Even if they were to put together a fight and a few wins against overlooking teams or on back to backs, they weren’t supposed to come out and look like a team that could beat anyone, anywhere, any time. This squad has gone “Major League.” As in, “Well, I guess there’s only one thing left. Win the whole f*ckin’ thing.”

Lemon Face: Mehmet Okur

-26 plus/minus, and a negative help value from Popcorn Machine. Help value specifically helps centers! It’s boards plus assists plus blocks plus steals minus turnovers! Do you know how bad you have to suck to get a negative help value? It’s like flunking a Rorschach test! You get two points for getting your name on the roster sheet! 21 points makes you believe he was helpful for them, but look at how badly the Jazz were outplayed when he was on the floor. This is where plus/minus is actually helpful. How did the Rockets win? They got tons of easy points in the paint, and, well… take a look.

Thanks to StatSheet.com, we can see how much the Jazz failed at basic basketball endeavors last night. See that big offensive rebounding advantage? You can’t give a hot shooting team with no star players (guys that can get their own shots on the first possession) multiple possessions. That’s a bad Utah Jazz! Bad!

I’m done with hating on the Jazz and I hope they pull it together (especially if they do so by trading Boozer, the block magnet). But other teams need to pay attention, because this is what happens if you come in and try to out-talent the Rockets.

Lion Face: Gerald Wallace

Yes, the Nets scored a college game amount of points and the Bobcats only scored a handful more, but 20 points, 20 boards, 4 steals, 1 block, 59% True Shooting %, that’s a pretty fine game. The Bobcats, I have sadly come to realize, will not win many games. So Wallace having games like this are going to be bright spots.

Lemon Face: Me

I really thought the Bobcats would be okay. I didn’t expect them to be awesome, but I thought they’d hover around the 8th seed. But everyone else was right. They have no offense. They have no scorers. They have little ball movement. They’re an absolute disaster on offense. Sad, because this team really need a strong year of contention for a playoff spot.

Lion Face: Kevin Martin

NOVA. Just. Nova.

Lemon Face: Bobby Brown

Dude was only on the floor for 11 minutes and took up the same percentage of possessions as Chris Paul did in 36. The guy really needs to understand his role. Or maybe that’s the problem, that Byron Scott has planted this as his role in his head. While we’re on Scott, don’t you think a fresh rookie with good size and a nose for the ball probably would have been useful against an offensive minded team with a chucker rank of guards and forwards? No? The undersized Brown and the ancient combo of Peja and Mo are the answer? Not Marcus Thornton? Allright, then.

Lion Face: David Lee

Yeah, he totally wasn’t worth the money. Last night he scored 28 points on 17 shots, with a TS% of 77% (!), scored on 10 of 14 possessions for an offensive rating of one-hundred-and-fifty-freaking-one. MEASTLY. I’m so glad everyone thought he wasn’t worth a flyer this summer.

Lemon Face: Ryan Gomes
I like Gomes. I do. Last night was not a good night for him. 28% TS, scoring on 4 of 11 possessions, with an offensive rating of 63. Ye Gods. Better luck nex game, Gomelem.

Oster-Tags: geraldwallaceisgreatforateamthatmakesyoucrytheyresobad, kevinmartincouldshootoutthesun, lionfacelemonface