One, Great, Big, 15 Foot Long Turkey
The Proposition
Toronto at Charlotte (7:00 EST)
A proposition: in the spirit of me not wanting to gouge my eyes out of their sockets, I propose that the Raptors and Bobcats play a half-court game tonight. The Raptors never play defense, and the Bobcats never play offense. Each Bobcats stop gets 1.5 points, each steal gets 3. It just makes sense when teams like this play each other, and it allows guys like Andrea Bargnani, Tyson Chandler, Gerald Wallace, and Jose Calderon to do their thing without the fuss of limitations. But hey, if you’d rather watch Larry Brown’s magical half court sets and the overwhelming defensive tenacity of the Raps, then by all means.
So Far Over the Radar, It’s Under the Radar
Miami at Orlando (7:30 EST)
As far as the three “true” Eastern contenders go, the Magic have consistently been most in line with expectation. The Cavs have bounced back from a slow start and slow defensive rotations, but despite LeBron’s best efforts, this team isn’t nearly as epic as advertised. The Celtics were supposed to pick up right where they left off with a healthy and rejuvenated Kevin Garnett, but all I see is a team still struggling to properly execute. So much has been turned upside down in Boston and Cleveland this season, and as such the two most impressive teams in the East have been these: the deep as all hell Orlando Magic, and the still surprising Atlanta Hawks.
If you need more incentive to watch this game, then shame on you.
On the Edge
Philadelphia at Boston (7:30 EST)
The Celtics are hardly teetering, but I still get the sense that they’re in limbo. They show their true colors for stretches, completely shutting down opposing offenses with swift adjustments and perfect execution. But just a minute later, it’s like a completely different team took the floor. What was most impressive about the championship Celtics was their synergy. It was more than a bunker mentality, it was as if KG was the hive mind. Each player worked within the context of the scheme not because it was the right thing to do, but because it was as if their brains couldn’t function otherwise. That team was their calling, their purpose, their basketball lives, and they demolished anything and everything (except the Bobcats) that stood in their path. Until I see that same synergy again, I don’t see Boston keeping up with Cleveland, Orlando, or Atlanta.
But the Sixers, and Elton Brand, clearly are on the edge of something. I pretty much use these Sixers games as an Elton Brand progress report, and this is perhaps the most appropriate time to do so; after turning in disappointing performance after disappointing performance, Elton has finally put together a stretch run that could make even a Philadelphia sports fan smile. It’s as if Elton peered over the ledge and saw the unending blackness that could become his career, and scared himself into real production. I don’t know that I’d expect that same production against KG and the Celts, but stranger things have certainly happened.
In This Scene, the Cavs Will Be Slaloming
Cleveland at Detroit (8:00 EST)
Allow me to indulge in a quick metaphor. For a few brief moments, the Cavs meet some resistance. Unlike the Cavs of old (read: 2008-2009), this squad sputters out of the gate, and a surprisingly prepared Pistons team will do more than just keep pace. But once everything is squared away, LeBron squares up and coasts. Cleveland may drift in and out of the wake just for fun, but the downside to being a merely average NBA team is that top-notch squads will just outclass you.
He Doesn’t Look a Thing Like Jesus, But He Flies Like a Pterodactyl
Milwaukee at NOLA (8:00 EST)
They’ve got youth! The’ve got fire! They’ve got Brandon Jennings! ‘Sova! Darren Collison! Marcus Thornton! And hopefully as little of Bobby Brown as possible! I’m not expecting flawless basketball but I am expecting a damn good time, and if you’re in the mood to take notes then tune in to the new kids. One of the most brilliant things about the season’s opening stretch is the youth and energy of the league’s youngest talent. Y’know, before they get jaded with road trips, and groupies, and the rigors of an 82 game schedule that throws their bodies into a blender and laughs maniacally when they beg it to just turn the blend settings down to 3.
But these are the golden months!
You Are Not a Plucky Hero, The Nuggets Are Not an Evil Empire, and This Is Not the Grand Arena
Denver at Minnesota (8:00 EST)
Given: The Denver Nuggets are crazy good, and the Minnesota Timberwolves are crazy bad.
Given: The Wolves have no matchups to exploit against the Nuggs.
Given: Jawaibberwocky.
Given: ‘Sota’s weak perimeter D will receive headbutts from Carmelo and J.R.
AS SUCH: The Nuggets win by 27 points because there is no hope in this world, and because the Timberwolves play some pretty terrible basketball.
On Sleepless Roads the Sleepless Go
Dallas at Houston (8:30 EST)
Of all the teams in the league that Mavs would not want to play right now (just after playing their starters way too long and losing to the Warriors), the Rockets would have to be near the top. Last time these two met, the Mavs came back from the a substantial deficit due to fresh legs and loaded barrels, but it’s going to take something special tonight. If you see a box score with the Mavs ahead, set your Tivo’s for stunned, because someone is going off. Otherwise, Dallas will be huffing and puffing the dust of the quickest and hard-workingest of teams in the West, if not the league.
To the Victors Go the Spoils…And For Those of You Not Following Along, The Spoils Are a Loss to the Spurs
Golden State at San Antonio (8:30 EST)
But on the other side of last night’s coin, the Warriors aren’t likely to fare well either. Six men in blue with tired legs will combat the Spurs, but San Antonio has the personnel, the flexibility, and the system (though you wouldn’t know it from their play this season) to completely rock their world. I can’t think of a better match for Monta Ellis than George Hill, and although Parker’s return from injury hedges the glory of that match-up, you’re still likely to see it a great deal as TP rests on the bench and Ellis plays every minute of tonight’s game. Expect some vintage, ruthless execution from the Spurs tonight, with a healthy dose of open corner threes against a Warriors team that struggles to maintain defensive focus.
Aziz, Light!
Memphis at Phoenix (9:00 EST)
The Grizz clip Iverson’s name from their program and like magic, they perform. That development instantly turns the Tinsley signing into a reasonable one, and the Randolph mistake less exaggerated. I wouldn’t dare say that the situation in Memphis is a good one, but there have been much cloudier days. Next step: convincing Mike Conley to play like Mike Conley.
The Little Things
New York at Sacramento (10:00 EST)
I’m thankful for Tyreke Evans, on every drive, jumpshot, or traveling violation.
I’m thankful for Wilson Chandler, who somehow has ridden the highs of Mike D’Antoni’s system into new lows.
I’m thankful for Jason Thompson, because not only is he awesome, but more minutes for Shock means less minutes for Sean May.
I’m thankful for Danilo Gallinari, whose shooting ability was not overrated by Pringles.
I’m thankful for Beno Udrih, who periodically comes out of his comatose state to play decent basketball.
I’m thankful for Nate Robinson, regardless of which basket he shoots at.
I’m thankful for Omri Casspi, who is at least ten times better than I thought he was.
I’m thankful for the guiding light that will one day come from Toney Douglas, provided he can get some consistent minutes.
I’m thankful for Knicks-Kings in November, because this is the greatest sport on the planet Earth.
A Win!
New Jersey at Portland (10:00 EST)
You know, just in case it actually happens tonight. CALLED IT.
Oster-Tags: 15footer
