15-Footer: 12.31.09 — Funny Hats and Noisemakers Edition
Unless you live in the Soviet Union — which would likely require a DeLorean and one of either (a) some plutonium, (b) an opportune lightning storm and a bell tower, or (c) a train — you’ll probably be drinking your face off tonight while wearing a silly hat and looking for some strange to make out with at midnight.
But since you’re a full-on hoop head, you’ll likely be sneaking into the other room to check out a game or two between rails nice conversations about knitting with your family and friends. Therefore, today’s 15-Footer is more special than ever since you’ll have limited time to watch and really need to know what to look for.
Plus, it’s the final one of the decade and all.
As always, these are the:
REASONS TO WATCH THE GAMES OF THE ASSOCIATION OF NATIONAL BASKETBALLS TONIGHT:
Early-Bird Special
Chicago Bulls @ Detroit Pistons – 3:00 pm EST
Whoa … there’s a day game today? I had no idea. And it’s currently 2:45. So, yeah, even though this match up isn’t exactly Young MJ vs. Zeke, you should watch this game cause it will have already started by the time you’re reading this and Army had a half day so you’re probably already home.
Tooth Fairy Bowl
Dallas Mavericks @ Houston Rockets – 7:00 pm EST
The last time these two met up, Dirk had to leave the game because he got shards of Carl Landry’s teeth lodged into his elbow. Now, I’m not sure where that lands on The Vengeance Scale, but Dirk has helped lead Dallas to an 8-2 record in their last 10, so I’m guessing he and his Mav-mates are ready to strike down upon Carl with furious anger. Landry, who is averaging 17.8 ppg on 58.6% shooting in December, will presumably have a rebuttal. Meanwhile, Houston is 9-4 at home while Dallas is 11-4 on the road. Something has to give there.
They Might Be Giants
Miami Heat @ San Antonio Spurs – 7:00 EST
With a 18-11 record, it’s past time for the Spurs to get serious about this season. We all knew they weren’t going to try in 2009, but 2010 is nearly upon us. Handing out a solid a**-kicking tonight on TNT to ring in the New Year would be the perfect way for them to show us that they really are the sleeping giant in the West that we think they should be. On the other side we have Miami, who lost to New Orleans last night and could use a nice jolt of life themselves. Michael Beasley in particular. He hasn’t scored 20 in any of his last 5 games and he hasn’t recorded 10 rebounds in any of his last 6. The Heat need him to play Robin to Flash’s Batman (*immediately realizes how retarded that sounds but not changing it*) if they’re going to keep over-achieving this year.
Game O’ Da Nite
Utah Jazz @ Oklahoma City Thunder – 8:00 pm EST
Don’t look now but the Loud Noises During a Storm are only one game out of the 8th seed out West. Who do you suppose they are behind? That’s right — the Jazz. (Feels like I scripted that.) Not that there are any games with Playoff implications before the New Year, but both of these teams will be fighting it out in the coming months for a playoff birth, so that pissing match may as well start tonight. In more immediate news, this is Kevin Durant’s world and you’re just living in it. He has at least 30 points in each of his last 5 games (30, 38, 30, 40 and 35 in order) and is shooting a NOVA-level 58.8% (60/102 FGs) during that stretch. And he hasn’t even relied on the three-ball to get those numbers, averaging “only” 3.4 attempts from behind the arc. Do the Jazz have anyone that can slow him down? I doubt it. But AK-47 and the ever-evolving beaver pelt atop his dome sure will try.
Party Time, Excellent
Philadelphia 76ers @ Los Angeles Clippers – 9:30 pm EST
Mainly, I’m just hoping to see Chris Kaman in a party hat and 2009 glasses.
Seems sort of wrong that Monta Ellis isn’t playing on the night they drop the ball.
