The 15 Footer to End All 15 Footers

Well, not really. BUT HERE ARE THE REASONS TO WATCH THE GAMES OF THE NATIONAL BASKETBALL ASSOCIATION TONIGHT:

I’m Into Murders and Executions, Mostly

(Yeah, don’t watch that video if you’re a wee babe.)

Toronto at Atlanta (7:00 EST)

Jamal Crawford is a pretty big name to drop in the lap of the Hawks for halves of halves of pennies on the dollar, and he’s everything Hotlanta could want off the bench. This was probably the role Crawford has been destined for his entire career, and it’s a shame that it’s taken him this long and this many teams to find his niche. Combo guards are terrific and versatile off the bench, and Jamal’s combination of ball-handling, passing, and shooting make him an ideal candidate to spell at either guard position.

Much like Jarrett Jack, who has quietly had a pretty terrific season for the Raptors. It’s often Jack, not Calderon, that keys crucial runs for the Raptor offense. Plus, because like Crawford, JJ is capable of running at the 2, he can play off the ball while still easing the offensive burden for Toronto’s playmakers. Hedo Turkoglu stole all the headlines this summer, but in my mind, these two are better acquisitions: a perfect combo guard to complement Mike Bibby and Joe Johnson, and an offensive facilitator, best friend to the star, and solid defender on a reasonable deal. Yet both acquisitions continue to escape the general basketball consciousness, in favor of bigger names and bigger reps.

I’d Like to Introduce You to My Dearest Friend: Mortality

Milwaukee at Washington (7:00 EST)

ATTN World:

Brandon Jennings is, in fact, mortal. But he’s still a pterodactyl.

Also, the Wizards are not an elite team, a borderline elite team, a mediocre team, or even a playoff team. Hide your preseason predictions accordingly.

Rolling, Rolling, Rolling Into the River

New York at Orlando (7:00 EST)

Yeah! A win over the streaking Sun’s! Sweet, sweet revenge for Pringles and the true seven-second offense! Ten assists for Larry Hughes! Danilo Gallinari is the mad note!

And though that’s just about all the exclamation points I can muster, this next sentence is just as emphatic: the Orlando Magic are a remarkably good basketball team. Orlando dropped two starters in the off-season, lost Jameer Nelson yet again to injury, and weathered a Rashard Lewis suspension. And while I’m sure SVG could nit-pick at the Magic defense all night long, the new talent and the unbelievable depth of this team make them a virtual brick wall. For all of New York’s momentum coming off of the Phoenix win, the Knicks are playing on the second night of a back-to-back. The Suns weren’t exactly trying to slow them down, so the natural letdown (as bad teams are ought to do) after a big win won’t fly in the face of an elite team like the Magic.

Some homework in preparation of the game:

Mike D’Antoni  – Go ahead and prescript your post-game locker room speech. You were outrebounded, outclassed, and overmatched. But the team did manage to do X and Y well, even if the score didn’t show it.

Viewers – Go ahead and pick out another game to watch during the fourth. The Knicks could keep it close for a quarter or two, but the Magic will sprint out to a big lead in the third and never look back.

Dwight Howard – Start warming up your free throw stroke. David Lee, Jared Jeffries, and Al Harrington are on the menu tonight.

Oh, I’ve Been Good. No, Great. No, FANTASTIC!

Phoenix at Cleveland (7:00 EST)

It hurts to see your exes again. But for Phoenix, oh, it hurts so good. Ditching Shaquille O’Neal was the best thing the Suns have done since signing Steve Nash in 2004, and credit (I guess) to Steve Kerr for admitting that his plans backfired. Of course we should probably note that his plan was ridiculously flawed and ridiculously ridiculous in the ridiculous first place, but let’s not fret over what’s dead, buried, defiled, and gone, eh? Rest in peace, D’Antoni’s Suns.

And while these Suns are quite as sensational as the original model, they’re still terrific. And, gasp, they’re fun again. I was miserable just watching Steve Nash be miserable, and to see him truly author an offense once again is like watching Aladdin for the first time. The natural allure is obvious with the singing and dancing and all that, but there’s something youthful and innate that’s just…different. It’s difficult to define and harder to describe, but watching the Suns play the way the Suns are supposed to play makes you feel good inside.

As for Cleveland? I think they’re finally starting to figure things out. Playing without Shaq for six games (in which the Cavs went 5-1, by the way) seems like a blessing in disguise, as the Cavalier offense was able to recapture some of last season’s magic without the burden of feeding a big man inside. It’s a good burden to have, and I do think Shaq will serve Cleveland pretty well late in the season and into the playoffs, but it was time to get back to basics. Having a facilitator like Delonte West doesn’t hurt either, and though there’s still much to be decided with the rotation (Parker/West, O’Neal/Ilgauskas/Varejao/Hickson), the Cavs are alive and well. Tonight should be a nice test, and a winnable game against one of the hotter teams in the league.

Victory!

Dallas at New Jersey (7:30 EST)

You know, just in case.

Ah, the Folly of Youth

Memphis at Minnesota (8:00 EST)

Does Memphis even count as a young team anymore? Minnesota’s youth movement is undeniable (the elder statesmen of their rotation are Ryan Gomes and Damien Wilkins), but for some reason I feel like Zach Randolph, Jamaal Tinsley, and the departed Allen Iverson change the game for the Grizz. The differences in approach between the two clubs tell you everything you need to know about their respective rebuilding strategies, and though support for David Kahn is punishable by mockery, you have to prefer Sota’s methods.

So while I respect the Grizzlies’ six wins, I can’t help but ask: does any of it really matter? I mean sure, it’s better that the franchise not face a Nets-esque start, but where is this team really going? Has anything happened to urge Rudy Gay to stay in Memphis? Is O.J. Mayo really developing as a player? Can anyone make sense of Mike Conley? There’s so much going on, but little positive or concrete.

And while the Grizz have five more wins than the Wolves, that’s what a rebuilding project looks like. It usually has a bit more roster balance and a bit less confusion at point guard, but y’know, it’s the same general shape as a rebuilding project. Ish.

Welcome Change, Goodbye Gravity

Philadelphia at OKC (8:00 EST)

Allen Iverson is coming to Philadelphia…eventually. Either the bottom will fall out or the Sixers will learn to fly (I’m voting the latter), but this team is due for a shake-up. But yeah, in the meantime, they’ll probably cough up this game to the Thunder.

Word has it that Durant and Young will hone their competitive spirits in developing the “Wispy Quotient,” a proper way to assess basketball value given lean, lanky physique. Westbrook and Holiday will shoot the shit at halftime, Artest-style, and reminisce, and Jeff Green will watch Andre Iguodala and pine over his days as a point forward. Also, Collison will have a piece of grilled chicken, and Dalembert will be the last girl left on the wall at the dance.

Act 3, Scene 1. Enter Ben Gordon.

Detroit at Chicago (8:00 EST)

To play, or not to play: that is the question:
Whether ’tis nobler in the mind to suffer
The boos and heckling of outrageous Bulls fans,
Or to take arms against them with off-balance jumpers,
And by opposing, encourage them? To rest: to sleep;
No more; and by a rest to say we only prolong
The backlash and the thousand PUJITs
My flesh is heir to, ’tis a consummation
Devoutly to be wish’d. To heal, to sleep;
To sleep: perchance to dream: ay, there’s the rub;
For in that sleep what dreams may come
When we have shuffled off from Chi-town,
Must give us pause: there was a respect
That makes calamity of so long life;
For who would bear the brunt of my ball-domination,
The shooter’s wrong, the proud man’s contumely,
The pangs of sharing the ball, a coach with no plan,
The insolence of Jannero Pargo and the spurns
That patient merit of the unworthy takes,
When he himself might his sit out
With a bum ankle? who would teammates bear,
To grunt and sweat under the burden of being best,
But that the dread of something without contested jumpers,
The undiscover’d country from whose bourn
No traveller returns, puzzles the will
And makes us rather bear those ills of jacking up shots
Than fly to others that we know not of?
Thus, a lack of conscience does make cowards of us all;
And thus the native hue of resolution
Is sicklied o’er with the pale cast of thought,
And enterprises of great pith and moment
With this regard their currents turn awry,
And lose the name of efficient offense.

HERE COMES A NEW CHALLENGER!!!

Indiana at Sacramento (10:00 EST)

No rookie has done more to improve their standing of late than Tyreke Evans. I’ve never wanted ‘Reke (can we call you ‘Reke?) to become a full-fledged shooting guard, but sometimes it simply behooves the Kings’ offense to run him off the ball, and match him up with opposing 2s. It’s not that he shouldn’t have the ball in his hands (and to me, that was never the issue), but manipulating the match-ups to find where Evans works best is going to take some time and some tinkering.

Finding the right system and the right personnel to fit the talents of Evans, Kevin Martin, and Jason Thompson is the task charged to Paul Westphal, and though he has his work cut out for him, it’s an enviable talent base for a young team. For the record, that’s a legit ROY candidate, one of the most efficient scorers and deadliest shooters in the league, and an energetic, get-shit-done big man. Add in the wild cards of Spencer Hawes and Donte Greene, and I’m not sure why the Kings aren’t being discussed as one of the most promising young squads in the league. They’re playing .500 basketball with a new coach and no Martin. Where’s the love?

And while no particular Pacer has held their own personal busting out parade (coming soon to a Kings game near you), they’re competing. The drastic drop-off among the Eastern Conference’s lesser teams has opened a few windows and a back door for opportunistic squads, and provided the Pacers can keep their heads above water, they could net the honor of being a curb-stompee to the Celtics, Magic, or Cavs. I’m not really sure this franchise is moving any direction but sideways, but internal improvements and a few additions have the Pacers at an alarming 11th in the league in offensive efficiency. It’s easy to pay attention to the ridiculous number of three pointers launched from the wings, or the lack of interior ball movement (how many shot clocks have been brutally killed with the Pacers moving the ball side-to-side on the perimeter?), but somehow the Pacers are winning games with defense. Seriously.

I Shall Hide Behind That Garbage Truck

Houston at LAC (10:30 EST)

We all knew that Al Thornton had the talent and the athleticism to succeed in the NBA, but until recently I’ve felt that his Basketball IQ isn’t all there. Something must have clicked during the summer, because the more and more I watch Thornton play this season, I draw the same conclusion: Guy’s a pro. He’s working hard on offense and defense alike, he’s pickier in his shot selection, and he’s back to his endearing way of doing all the little things. I don’t even want to begin to talk about ceilings and whatnot when it comes to a player like Thornton, but he’s changing the negative stigma he’s earned over the past year or so, and he’s doing it with a bullet.

So it’s strangely appropriate that Thornton, a player I had pretty much left for dead in NBA mediocrity, suits up tonight against the still-surprising Rockets. I just can’t get over how much I enjoy watching Houston stick it to teams with significantly more talented players and on-court investment. It’s the exact opposite of a guilty pleasure; watching a solid Rockets win is like watching a Hallmark Channel made-for-TV movie with Scorsese in charge and De Niro front and center. They’re both naturals, sure, but the reason why both are considered masters of their craft is because of their incredible drive, supernatural attention to detail, and meticulous work ethic. I consider this Rockets roster to be the same, as they continue to win games through force of will alone. Ariza, Brooks, Battier – these are naturally talented guys, albeit in slightly different ways than we’re accustomed to seeing. But they thrive in the context of this hard-working club, and even though they create something beautiful by making the smart pass and running the floor rather than taking saxophone lessons or learning to box, this is the league’s feel-good story in its purest form.