Lopez Brothers Are All Relative
I’d like to be honest about something: the idea of identical twins freaks me out.
I know they’re a lot more common than I realize and I understand the science behind the process of making identical twins. However, there is just something about the actual visual and conceptual existence of identical twins that really scares me and leaves me feeling unsettled.
My deep-seeded consternation with identical twins may be pretty easy for me to go back and track. The Shining terrified me and it wasn’t because of anything but those creepy twin girls kicking it in the hallway with matching clothes. I didn’t mind the blood flooding the hotel walkways, the creepiness of Shelly Duval or Jack being a dull boy. It was the twins road-blocking the Redrum kid when he was just trying to big wheel his way through the Overlook Hotel.
Fast-forward many years and identical twins still give me the willies. And even as entertaining as Brook and Robin Lopez are on their own and especially in each other’s presence, I still can’t shake the uneasy feeling I get from two people whom look and act alike. The different lengths of hair don’t settle me either. Sure, you can tell them apart and their games are completely different with one being an offensive force and the other a defensive specialist. But the idea that they possibly have some level of ESP between each other and will always sort of be the same really bothers me.
However, thanks to Alby Einstein and the science community I may just be able to coexist in a world with the Lopez twins and their mutually exclusive identity. According to this Eryn Brown report from the LA Times, the theory of relativity is being proved true with “lasers” and the results are showing relativity can be scaled down to even smaller degrees:
Among the oft-repeated predictions of Albert Einstein’s famous theory of relativity is that if a twin travels through the cosmos on a high-speed rocket, when he returns to Earth he will be noticeably younger than the twin who stayed home.
Now physicists have demonstrated that the same is true even if the traveling twin is merely driving in a car about 20 mph. But in that case, when the twin gets home from the grocery store, he is only a tiny fraction of a nanosecond younger, according to a report in Friday’s edition of the journal Science.
Now, I’m no science major. In fact, I struggled in science. But to me this sounds like the more a person travels and the faster a person travels while the other stays more still, the younger this “moving” person will become in relation to the stationary person. Perhaps this isn’t the most sophisticated way of explaining part of the theory of relativity – and yes, I would expect Albert Einstein is furious with me right now – but that’s essentially what this study was saying.
If this theory is true, and I believe science is telling me that it is, then the theory of relativity will help my uneasiness with the Lopez twins. Even though Brook and Robin have different hair, different uniforms and probably different versions of Thor that they enjoy, they’re still so identical that it creeps me out. It gives me some solace to know that Brook is an offensive force while Robin is the answer to many of the Suns’ prayers for a defensive presence in the middle. I’m fascinated at the idea that the two of them excelled at very different parts of the game that probably heightened their skills even more.
Brook probably became such a good offensive player because he had to score against Robin who was so good at defending. Or was it the other way around? Did Robin become such a good defender because he had to figure out how to stop Brook from dominating him in the driveway? There is something very chicken or the egg about this.
Regardless of how or why their particular set of skills got honed, the differences between Brook and Robin are going to increase over time with the current organizational philosophies of their respective teams.
The Phoenix Suns have been near the top of NBA pace over the last several years. Even with coaching changes and personnel being switched out like faulty spark plugs, they remain amongst the fastest teams in the league. This past season, they were fourth in the NBA in pace at 95.3 possessions per game. The New Jersey Nets on the other hand were quite slow with 91.4 possessions per game (good for 24th in the league). And with Avery Johnson taking over as they begin their transition from meadowlands to Brooklyn, they probably won’t get any faster out there. During his three full seasons coaching the Dallas Mavericks, Avery kept his teams at the 27th, 28th and 24th fastest paces in the league.
This means that over time Robin Lopez has found his way into an identical twin NBA fountain of youth. Robin will always be moving at a much faster pace assuming his situation and Brook’s situations remain fairly constant. Stick with the run’n’gun style of the modified SSOL and Robin should enjoy the benefits of a stylistic anti-aging cream. On the flip side of that, Brook and his franchise’s refusal to get out and stretch their legs a bit will probably age at a quicker pace.
However, there might be something to level the playing field for Brook – his franchise’s location. While the speed of the game for both of these teams seems to favor the bang for Robin’s buck throughout his career (compared to Brook’s), the location of these players may even things up.
The reverse is often said to be true for a twin who spends time high on a mountaintop; general relativity predicts that time passes more quickly at greater altitudes because objects don’t feel Earth’s gravity quite as strongly. But the physicists found that a twin who lives just about a foot above sea level will age ever-so-slightly faster than a twin living at sea level.
The city of Phoenix, Arizona sits roughly at an elevation of 1,117 feet. The city of Newark, New Jersey resides around 30 feet above sea level. So while Robin can run around and stay younger all he wants, Brook’s ability to ball close to the level of the ocean CAN have an affect on how he ages in relation to his twin. While this sounds like Brook can turn to his brother’s Benjamin Button style of play with a “take that!” in reality the elevation factor may not be enough to truly matter. According to the paper, “the second hand of a clock positioned about two-thirds of a mile above an identical clock near Earth’s surface will speed up only enough to tick out three extra seconds over the course of a million years.”
As good as Brook Lopez is he probably won’t play for a million years. Considering Kevin Willis was a big man modern marvel by playing into nearly his mid-40s, that’s asking a lot to think Brook could 7-figures in terms of the length of his career.
In the end, the Suns’ ability to let Robin play at a high pace definitely makes the duration of his career seem to be worth it more than the location of Brook’s home floor does for his longevity.
And while you’re probably wondering why you just read through this entire article and learned virtually nothing, we did learn a few key things:
1. I know next to nothing about science.
2. Sometimes, it’s good to stretch your legs a bit and delve into a subject you don’t understand.
3. Identical twins really freak me out.
4. NBA media day is today and that means training camp begins tomorrow.
Welcome back, NBA season!
Oster-Tags: Brook Lopez, EinsteinWasSOOOOOMuchSmarterThanMe, New Jersey Nets, Phoenix Suns, Robin Lopez
