Wonderisms

Photo by Luiz Fernando / Sonia Maria from Flickr

Obviously Stevie Wonder’s friend described Dawkins’ play in such wondrous detail that the legendary musician was compelled to come up with a nickname. Either that or, as Bomani Jones has argued for years, Stevie isn’t blind.

Via “Stevie Wonder gave Darryl Dawkins his ‘Chocolate Thunder’” by Eric Freeman

A dunkatronic bombshell dropped by Dawkins in an interview with Dime Magazine. If the loquacious Lovetron native is believed, Stevie Wonder came up with Dawkins’s signature moniker. Ultimately,this is not surprising since Stevie has quite the penchant for creating names, most notably for himself. At various times in his life he’s had “Stevland”, “Steveland” and “Stevie” as first names, “Judkins” and “Morris” as last names, recorded as “Eivets Rednow”  all in addition to his famous stage surname “Wonder”.

With such propitious naming skills, Wonder possibly couldn’t have stopped at just “Chocolate Thunder” for Dawkins. Maybe he had other NBA personalities in mind as he wrote some of his most famous material. And if he didn’t, I’m here to fill in the gaps.

Dennis “Fingertips” Rodman – Rodman was one of the greatest tip artists the NBA has ever seen. Even if he couldn’t snare down a rebound outright, he could always get in a well placed tap or tip, directing the ball to a spot he could reach quicker than any other player. The spirit of “Fingertips” is with Rodman as well. Stevie was indeed supposed to be through when they told him to take a bow, but being a 12-year old hell raiser as well as genius he came right back out causing havoc for the stage band which was switching members for the next act. Hence a musician yelling “what key?!”

“Shoo-Be-Doo-Be-Doo-Be-Do-Todd Day” – This one’s just fun to say.

Clay “It’s A Shame” Bennett – written and produced by Stevie for the Spinners. It’s application to Bennett is clearly evident. Sonics forever!

Larry “Bird of Beauty” – An anti-drug song from Stevie imploring people to enjoy the natural high and beauty of life. Now Larry Bird wasn’t physically beautiful. That mustache was grimace worthy and his flirtation with a mullet was horrifying, but you can’t deny his brand of play was beautiful, devoid of dunks and other unnecessary showboating behavior. The Cadillac Andersons of the world could attempt to get high on dunks (or actual drugs as was the case with the Cadillac Anderson) while Bird was breathing in the equivalent of fresh air with his sweet jumper and peerless court vision. Just expunge from your mind Bird’s notorious trash talking and this connection works without a hitch.

“Spinnin’ and Spinnin’” Dwyane Wade – writing and producing this waltzy tune for his ex-wife, Syreeta, Stevie nonetheless was actually describing Dwyane Wade’s tendency to just leave opposing players dizzy and hopeless with his vicious spin moves. Poor Ken Perkins still doesn’t know where he is.

David “He’s Misstra Know It All” Stern -  As we veer ever deeper into the lockout for reasons given by owners that remain skeptical at best, cynicism engulfs us all.Including the usually ebullient Wonder. Stern serving as the mouthpiece for the Man does not rub Stevie well. If he would openly dismiss the President of the United States (Richard Nixon) not once, not twice, but thrice in song, he’ll do it to you Commissioner.

When you say that he’s living wrong, He’ll tell you he knows he’s livin’ right
And you’d be a stronger man, if you took Misstra Know-It- All’s advice

Come on, players union. Just fork over an extra 8% (or whatever the latest percentage is) of your guaranteed money to the owners. It’s for everyone’s good!

In any event, the lockout will eventually end and, baby, everything will up-tight, alright and clean outta sight… wooo!!!!