Photo by uglyagnes on Flickr
The beard is getting unruly. What started as a little bit of scruff on draft night has turned into a long, shaggy mane that rivals that of Brian Wilson, Ricky Williams and Kimbo Slice. It’s become a national punch line (“Scientists fear that Harden Beard’s gravitational field may inadvertently disrupt the path of a stray meteor and bring it to OKC.”) and hasn’t landed him any Troy Polamalu-like endorsements. It was a good look for a while. Now it’s time to go.
No, Chris Mannix. NO!
You can’t just go around besmirching James Harden’s magnificent beard and not expect anyone to call you on it. And what makes you the expert on beards, anyway? From my one google image search extensive research, it appears THIS is the closest you’ve come to having a beard. We both know that, 95% of the time, beard hate is preceded by beard envy.
It’s unfathomable to me that anyone on this planet would have a problem with Harden’s beard. I mean, the man posted a 30.61 BER (Beard Efficiency Rating) last season. That’s a Hall of Fame-quality beard campaign. I guess it’s safe to assume Mannix has failed to embrace the statistical revolution.
Personally, I have serious questions about how much of Harden’s on-court production is beard-dependent. If Harden was to shave the beard, I’d be hesitant to move him into the starting lineup next season. Let’s allow Scott Brooks to worry about his team’s late-game offense rather than his wing beard depth. The mere thought of a beardless Harden in the pros actually makes me extremely nervous. Let’s pretend this never happened.
