Future World Record Holders In The NBA
Photo by Dave_S. on Flickr
On June 28th, 2003, Harvey Pollack wore a t-shirt. Because it was late June, you likely wore one, as well. The difference between you and Harvey, though, is that Mr. Pollack has worn a t-shirt for 2999 consecutive days since, counting Thursday, and that fateful day back in 2003. And because you, like Harvey, are good at math? You’re likely realizing that Pollack will have worn a t-shirt for 3000 consecutive days on Friday, should he decide to pull yet another t-shirt out of his drawer that morning.
Is this some sort of record? Well, yes. According to the Philadelphia 76ers, Pollack has already set a record for the most consecutive days wearing a t-shirt, and he’s hoping to be recognized by the Guinness Book of World Records.
via Ball Don’t Lie: NBA legend Harvey Pollack has set a record for wearing lots of t-shirts
As far as “Random World Records Somehow Connected To The NBA” go, this is probably number one. Breaking any world record is impressive, especially if it’s as chill as Harvey Pollack’s current streak. Pollack’s record inspired me to come up with some current NBA players that might be in contention to break world records in the future.
Most Three-Pointers Attempted In A Single Game
J.R. Smith is headed to China, which could be both great and terrible for the team that’s signed him. It’s great in the sense that he’s bringing his considerable talent to play against inferior competition. It’s terrible in the sense that he’s bringing J.R. Smith, the (occasionally) mind-numbingly frustrating basketball player, with him. I like to think of crazy basketball J.R. Smith as a sort of detrimental alter ego, albeit one that can be thoroughly inept and misguided. Alter Ego J.R. Smith loves his ridiculous three-pointers, and I have a feeling the added freedom of a China locale will only heighten his powers.
Highest Number Of Relevant Alternative Events Attended
When it comes to NBA players, Matt Bonner is about as “alt” as it gets. He hangs out with Arcade Fire, he’s been featured on the Gorilla vs. Bear “indie” music blog, and he maintains a beautiful, red beard that coincides with a distinct niche game. Matt Bonner provides two clear quantifiable skills: Making three-pointers and serving as the NBA’s unofficial ambassador to the indie music scene. Matt Bonner may not play a lot of “defense”, but you better believe he’ll have backstage passes to the next Animal Collective show.
World’s Worst High Jumper
Number of Times Doing What Toney Douglas Do
Ah, Toney Douglas. You’ve held this record for years, but you’re sure to keep extending it. What a quandary you are. You offend my basketball sensibilities in nearly every way with your erratic, sometimes great, sometimes terrible play. But you try your best, Toney. Nobody does what you do better than you do, whatever that means (I’m still not exactly sure). You’ll always do what Toney Douglas do. It’ll help your team sometimes, and sometimes it won’t. Either way, you’ll always be the most Toney Douglas-y Toney Douglas there is.
Most Jaw Juts In A Single Trip To The Grocery Store
Let’s say the lockout actually causes us to lose a season. The ever-competitive Kobe Bryant isn’t going to be happy sitting around without the chance to hit a baseline fade away jumper, stare at Luke Walton on the bench, and jaw jut his heart out. He’s going to need an outlet, and it wouldn’t surprise me if that outlet found a place somewhere in the occurrences of everyday life. If Kobe finds riceroni on sale at the supermarket, it’s jaw jut time. If Kobe gets the last close parking spot at a crowded event, it’s jaw jut time. If Kobe wins at scrabble because of a triple word, it’s jaw jut time.
