Photo from Mike Miller's official store

With an amnesty clause likely on the way, some have suggested the Heat would be well-served to cut Mike Miller loose. They signed him for $25 million over 5 years last July, meaning he’ll be making $6.6 million in 2014-2015. That’s a lot for someone who posted a 9.7 PER last season, and he doesn’t even sound offended by the idea:

^{“If anything happens with the amnesty, this is just going to be a business decision and I can respect that,” he said. “Teams will only get one opportunity to use it. I can respect that part of it.”}

^{Via Mike Miller Hoping Next Move Comes With Miami Heat, 11/9/11}

It’s a mature, sensible answer to the question but I hope he’s mad as hell on the inside. I hope he was pissed when Miami shopped him at the deadline, too. Miller should have been the perfect fit there. His stroke is just about as pure as anyone’s on this planet. He’s shown he can drive to score, create for others, rebound, and do the little things. But not last season. Last season was a disaster.

Miller refused to take 3s unless they were wide-open, missed too many 3s that were wide-open, and didn’t commit to his drives when he put it on the floor. His attempts to be a point forward were also miserable exercises in futility.

Via Turning Up The Heat: Mike Miller, 10/10/11

Miller has to be frustrated with how he played. He has to know that, next season, Miami needs him to be aggressive. If he was thinking too much, he needs to just “let it fly” like it says on the tattoo on his back. Like he didn’t do in Minnesota, back when it was fair to call it an outlier. Like he didn’t do in Washington, before we guessed that his passivity wouldn’t be much of an issue alongside three All-Stars. Miller has to be determined to reestablish himself and prove last season could have been different if not for his continual injuries:

On October 18th, he left a preseason game against Charlotte when he sprained his left ankle. Two days later, he got his right thumb stuck in LeBron James’s jersey in practice. This caused serious ligament damage and the resulting surgery kept him out for two months. When he returned and tried to catch up with his teammates, Erik Spoelstra said it was like “trying to jump into a car going 60 miles per hour.”

Rough times continued in February in the form of a concussion and inner ear infection when he took blows to the head in three consecutive games. Then in April, he ruptured a tendon in his left thumb. In May, he bruised his shoulder fighting through a screen against the Bulls and aggravated the injury in Game 1 of the Finals, leaving the arena with his arm in a sling.

After the season, he underwent surgery on his left thumb and his left shoulder. In July, he said he was trying to glue himself back together “like the humpty-dumpty man.” Now, he says that neither thumb is bothering him.

Much more terrifying than all the physical problems was what Miller dealt with off the court — Miller managed to play his best basketball of the season in the Bulls series whilst his newborn daughter, Jaelyn, was in intensive care with four holes in her heart. You have to imagine Miller wants to put this past year behind him in more ways than one.

Trying to project Miller’s next season is difficult. On the one hand, it’s been years since he’s been the kind of threat he’s capable of being. On the other, his diverse skillset gave us reason to be extremely optimistic about his role with the Heat before just about everything went wrong. Optimistically, I want to give him a pass on last season. I hope the Heat don’t use their amnesty clause on anybody. Fortunately for Mike, they’re likely not going to find another wing player with his upside when all they can offer is the minimum and perhaps a “mini” mid-level exception. Unless the new CBA ends up being so restrictive that MIami has no choice but to slash salaries, he’ll likely stay.

In March, John Krolik said, “Miller is the clearest representation of how, despite a good record and a great point margin, the Heat simply haven’t seemed like a finished product this season.” I’d say that even after ending the season a couple of wins from a championship, they still didn’t seem like a finished product. If we are to see something close to a fully realized version of this team on a consistent basis, it should involve a liberal use of the Big 5 lineup and Miller’s production matching his salary. I’d like to see a transcendent season from the evil, evil Heat, so here’s hoping he puts it together.

Photo by DB-2 on Flickr

In a perfect (and logical) world, the 2011-2012 NBA season would be nearly two weeks of age, and the crisp, fresh nature of a burgeoning NBA season would be taking hold. Despite reality’s proof that this world doesn’t exist and never will, I’ve decided to compile the statistics of the NBA’s forthcoming captivating rookies from an alternate dimension, known as No Lockout World (they aren’t very creative in alternate dimensions).

These (nonexistent) statistics thus far into the (nonexistent) season are as follows, including minutes per game (MPG), points, assists, blocks, turnovers, and rebounds per game (PPG, APG, BPG, TOV, and RPG, respectively), and FG%. Statistics given may vary, based on position (BPG given for post players, etc.), and players are listed in no particular order.

Kyrie Irving (PG, Cleveland Cavaliers)

14.8 PPG, 5.3 APG, 2.8 TOV, 3.8 RPG, and 47% FG (playing 29 minutes per game).

Derrick Williams (SF/PF, Minnesota Timberwolves)

15.3 PPG, 6.8 RPG, 0.8 BPG, 2.3 APG, and 46% FG (playing 31 minutes per game).

Ricky Rubio (PG, Minnesota Timberwovles)

7.8 PPG, 9.8 APG, 4.0 TOV, 4.5 RPG, and 41% FG (playing 34 minutes per game).

Bismack Biyombo (PF/C, Charlotte Bobcats)

5.4 PPG, 8.4 RPG, 2.3 BPG, 2.8 PF, and 57% FG (playing 21 minutes per game).

Brandon Knight (PG, Detroit Pistons)

7.0 PPG, 3.3 APG, 1.8 TOV, 2.8 RPG, and 44% FG (playing 23 minutes per game).

Kemba Walker (PG, Charlotte Bobcats)

10.3 PPG, 5.3 APG, 2.3 TOV, 2.0 RPG, and 45% FG (playing 27 minutes per game).

Jimmer Fredette (PG, Sacramento Kings)

13.8 PPG, 3.5 APG, 1.8 TOV, 2.3 RPG, 44% FG, and 39% 3PT (playing 28 minutes per game).

Jan Vesely (SF/PF, Washington Wizards)

7.3 PPG, 3.3 RPG, o.5 BPG,  1.3 APG, and 53% FG (playing 24 minutes per game).

Tristan Thompson (PF, Cleveland Cavaliers)

8.8 PPG, 6.3 RPG, 1.0 BPG, and 51% FG (playing 27 minutes per game).

Enes Kanter (PF/C, Utah Jazz)

7.8 PPG, 5.3 RPG, 0.3 BPG, 44% FG, and 38% 3PT (playing 22 minutes per game).

Check back next week for more (nonexistent) posts about (nonexistent) stats! (A return to a real NBA season and real statistics might be preferable.)

Photo by Andreas Helke on Flickr

The news wasn’t particularly positive or negative on Thursday. Negotiations for the day ended after David Stern and the NBA made their latest offer to the players, complete with the notion of “concessions” on various system issues. It appears to be a slightly improved deal for the players in comparison to the previous one, as Billy Hunter and the NBPA at least appeared willing to consult with players about the possibility of accepting the deal. Hunter indicated player reps would gather and presumably gauge whether the deal was acceptable Monday or Tuesday. In turn, David Stern indicated that this would be the owners’ best offer before reverting back to the “reset” deal of 47% BRI and various hardline stances. It’s a deal that would likely drive the union into decertification and cause the eventual loss of the entire season. (For informative reporting, I recommend you read this and this.)

Whether the players choose to accept or decline the deal (a flawed and generally unsatisfying one for many of them, I assume) will likely determine if there is a 2011-2012 NBA season. It’s an uncomfortable position for the NBPA, but an unavoidable one. Many are asking, “What will the owners and players do?” They aren’t typically asking me, but I’ll still do my best to answer.

Record A Collaborative Holiday Season CD

The holiday season is approaching soon, and it seems like the players and owners might have some extra time on their hands. Why not take time away from (not) having an NBA season to collaborate and give back to the fans? I can imagine Adam Silver in TV ads. “And you can buy it for only $10, if you’re willing to buy a Nickelback CD for an additional $10! Competitive balance!” Bring in Paul Pierce to do a bonus track titled “The Decertification Shuffle”, and it’ll be a definitive hit.

Lockout Jeopardy

This is just like normal jeopardy, pitting owners vs. players, except the owners know every single answer before the game begins. Also, only the union is forced to wager BRI points during Double Jeopardy.

Ultimatums Every Hour

At the beginning of every hour (until the players decide their course regarding the deal offered), David Stern will send out the same league-wide email with the words “ULTIMATUM” written over and over again, a la Jack Nicholson in the Shining.

An Official To-Do List From The NBA

Before any more official decisions are made, it’s important the owners make their opinions and priorities clear. To ensure this, the NBA will make a list of still unaddressed demands.

The Demands of NBA Owners

1. Hanes will be the league’s only sponsor, and the 2002-2003 Washington Wizards will be remembered fondly.

2. No more Casual Fridays!

3. All contracts including the names Gilbert, Lewis, or Carter. Tough break, Anthony Carter.

4. Fifth-year or sixth-year options in contracts will no longer be allowed. Fourth, third, second, or first-year contractual obligations will also be optional.

5. In order to create more competitive balance for small-market teams, the Milwaukee Bucks will begin each game of the entire 2011-2012 season with five points, and a firm limit on the allowed number of Brandon Jennings jump shots.

Of course, it’s far more likely none of these things will happen. Maybe Celine Dion was lying when she sang “My heart will go on“. Maybe a deal will be reached Monday and we’ll finally return to discussing basketball in a tangible form. But nothing’s ever assured in these negotiations, except an awkward press conference.

Photo from Gerard :-[ via Flickr

Late Thursday (which, in my time zone, was already not-that-early Friday), after the latest negotiation round storm had quieted down to the distant mumbling of an impending storm of doom, I happened to notice something on Twitter.

Kevin Durant, All-Star, All-NBAer, World Champion, and the universe’s resident Golden Boy was taking questions from random people.

Half curious, half attention-starved (I am a person on the internet, after all) I launched a question of my own regarding a matter I quite often ponder: how would Durant feel if a new system prevented his beloved Thunder from keeping their exciting young core intact?

It’s a legitimate concern, and has been such for a while. After all, Durant’s max extension is coming in, Russell Westrook will probably get something close to that if not all of it, James Harden and Serge Ibaka are but 2 years away from massive contract extensions of their own, Kendrick Perkins is on the books for about 8 million a year through 2015 – and we’re not even mentioning Eric Maynor, who most likely will be lost anyway, as he is too good to keep at a backup point guard’s price tag. OKC has never been an excessively rich market, and as rookie deals become market-value contracts, not even the genius of Sam Presti can prevent the inevitable inflation of the books.

Durant, of course, answered in typical Durant fashion – straight to the point, and loyal as they come:

Id hate that RT @noamschiller: @KDTrey5 A new deal could seriously limit your chances to keep the Thunder's core under contract.

November 10, 2011 5:31 pm via EchofonReplyRetweetFavorite

@KDTrey5

Kevin Durant

But the interesting part came later, as several people replied to Durant’s tweet with a litany of responses. Some were sympathetic; some were oblivious; and the large majority, as expected, had no idea what the tweets were referring to and just used the opportunity to take what the great Kevin Durant said out of context.

Sadly, one of the members of the last category was the official, controversial twitter feed of the NBA Labor committee.

@KDTrey5 Not true on new deal limiting chances to keep team's core. Teams would hv cap exceptions to re-sign their own free agents

November 10, 2011 7:17 pm via webReplyRetweetFavorite

@NBA_Labor

NBA Labor

For a Twitter feed that is run by an organization that has put a premium on public relations throughout its disastrous affairs, the NBA Labor feed has been pretty insistent on acting like everybody’s inappropriate drunk uncle. Having posted only 19 tweets throughout its existence, it has already managed to get in trouble with Henry Abbott (an argument which Abbott eventually conceded) and with another OKC player in Nazr Mohammed (an argument which was mostly just plain hilarious).

This time, though, my delusions of grandeur have caused me to feel somewhat involved in this most recent “David Stern is trolling on Twitter again” episode. And as a person who mistakenly thinks he is involved in something is wont to do, I must point out that Kevin Durant is right, and the NBA is wrong.

The NBA is absolutely correct that teams will have the chance to re-sign their own free agents. All recent indications have shown that the NBA and its owners have relented on keeping Bird Rights exceptions for luxury-tax paying teams. Theoretically speaking, this means that teams that are 30 million under the salary cap and teams that are 30 million into luxury tax territory have the exact same abilities to re-sign players who are finishing their contracts.

The issue, though, was never the legality of re-signing players – it was the cost. And it is the cost that will deter small market teams such as Oklahoma City. Re-signing Serge Ibaka to an extension is all fun and games if he clocks in at 5 years, 48 million (which I would randomly declare reasonable in old CBA terms and may or may not be way off), but how do you feel about 5 years, 55 million? 60? 65? 80?

This is the effect of the new luxury tax. Reports regarding exact amounts still vary, but at the very least, the first 5 million above the threshold should see penalization at a $1.50 to $1 rate, with growth every 5 or 10 million jump. As such, the decent back-up point guard that you signed after  Maynor bolted for a bigger deal on a team without Russell Westbrook can suddenly cost you like your starting center. Never mind that you’re already on the books for one of those.

And this is before we even talk about penalties for repeat tax offenders. If the owners get their way, teams that land in luxury tax territory in 3 years of a 5 year period will see their bills skyrocket. Paying the luxury tax in 2013-2014 when Harden and Ibaka get paid is bad enough for OKC (and also, fairly possible – the team owes 31 million that year just to Durant, Perkins, Thabo Sefolosha and Nick Collison), but now, they have a 2 year ticking time bomb to win with that core, because from that moment on, every year becomes even more expensive.

Please note that I have passed on throwing out overly specific numbers because, in many cases, I lack the necessary knowledge. I don’t know how the open market will value a James Harden in the year 2012, and I don’t know what the exact luxury tax records will eventually be. As such, it is extremely possible that in OKC’s case, this issue will be irrelevant. Perhaps the team will be so successful that revenue will cover for everything and anything. Perhaps the entire league is in for a financial boon that was never seen in sports before. Perhaps Clay Bennett is feeling extra generous as a new decade rolls on by. I doubt this is the case, but it’s possible.

That being said, this is an issue. Even if this is an issue that Sam Presti can slickly maneuver his way out of, it is an issue nonetheless. It’s an issue for a small market team in a league that lacks the appropriate revenue sharing to compensate for location, and it’s an issue for a large market team, who is perfectly capable of shelling out gigantic payrolls but may not want to.

Does the new luxury tax deny teams of the chance to keep their core together? No. But it does ask them to pay much more money to do so. For any team,  and for a team like OKC in particular, that means those chances are severely limited, and it is the existence of this limitation that the NBA Labor account is falsely denying.

Photo from zackzen via Flickr

The ranks of Israeli-based NBA players took a massive hit this week, with the departure of two of our beloved NBAers.

Bnei HaSharon/Herzelia’s J.J. Hickson got kicked out/left voluntarily this weekend. Hickson played only one game with the team, a 39 point loss which saw J.J. put up good raw numbers to go with a +/- of -44. The following week, Hickson was reportedly late to two straight practices – with some outlets saying that Hickson intentionally skipped out because he wanted to return to the states. Regardless, he was granted his wish. Now it just remains to be seen if Bnei HaSharon can manage to bring back Trevor Booker once he comes back from injury, or if the NBA player thing just isn’t going to work out.

In Hickson’s absence, Bnei HaSharon were once again blown out, 82-59 to Maccabi Rishon LeZion. 23 point losses instead of 39 point losses are progress, and if the NBA lockout has taught us anything, it’s that progress is good.

Hapoel Jerusalem’s Avery Bradley also seems on his way back home. We already mentioned that Bradley was expected to leave last week, a notion which probably wasn’t helped by a tussle of his own in Saturday’s practice, in which he reportedly refused to return to the court after an accidental hit from Dan Grunfeld left him with a bloody lip. Bradley eventually apologized and took place in Jerusalem’s 85-79 win over Barak Netanya, before boarding a plane back to the states. Following the game, Hapoel coach Oded Katash expressed his hope that Bradley would still return, but there have been no concrete indications that it was indeed expected to happen.

In the game itself, Bradley was once again a mixed bag. When he made a concerted effort to get to the rim, Bradley was effective, as his athleticism was virtually unmatched. However, he insisted on taking jumpers that he often missed badly, and he forced the issue quite often, finishing with a distressing 5 turnovers versus just one assist. Bradley finished with 13 points, shooting only 1 of 5 from three but 5 of 7 from two point range, as well as 5 rebounds and 4 fouls.

The true hero for Jerusalem was former Illinois forward Brian Randle, who made his season debut after being out with injury for the first month. Randle scored 21 points on 12 shots off a variety of drives, and more importantly, anchored a Jerusalem defense that was virtually non-existent to start the year. Grunfeld debuted as well, sporting a very rusty jumper but the smarts and tenacity that you would expect from a Stanford grad, and D.J. Strawberry overcame a bad first half to score 13 points, several in crunch time.

Netanya almost stole the game off sheer lunacy, with Adrian Banks (25 points, 4 steals) and Jerome Randle (22 and 6 assists, but 5 turnovers) seemingly competing to see who can make more ill-advised threes. Eventually, though, too little help and not enough crazy luck did them in.

Maccabi Tel Aviv and Maccabi Ashdod should have been a matchup between the two remaining Israeli-based NBAers. However, regardless of how you feel about Jordan Farmar and Craig Brackins individually, the rest of the respective rosters are completely incomparable, as Tel Aviv went on a 104-73 rampage. Inefficient performances by Ramel Bradley (18 points on 16 field goals and 8 free throws) and Meir Tapiro (12 points on 11 shots) were the only double figure performances Ashdod got, while Tel Aviv had 6. Brackins struggled en route to 9 points on 4 of 12 shooting and 4 boards, while Farmar had 10, but the true star on Maccabi’s side was Lior Eliyahu (rights owned by Houston), who went for 22 on 10 shots.

Farmar’s more consequential game was tonight against Sasha Vujacic, Ersan Ilyasova and Anadolu Efes. Farmar was a steady influence throughout, displaying a mature balance between scoring and setting up his teammates that far exceeded anything he has shown in the NBA (makes sense, given the competition). Farmar ended with 18, 5 and 6, with 4 of these points coming in the form of clutch free throws, of which he didn’t miss.

Eliyahu was again efficient finishing shots, scoring 12 on 6 shots, and David Blu‘s scorching hot shooting form continued (15 on 7 shots), but more than anything, Maccabi just wouldn’t let Efes score. With Ilyasova battling illness and managing only 17 rather anemic minutes (9 points on 10 shots, 6 rebounds, striking passiveness on offense), the brunt of the offense fell on Vujacic’s shoulders. As NBA fans would attest, this is rarely a good thing. Sasha scored 21 points, but was a downright frightening 4 of 13 from 3 point range, including a ridiculously foolish PUJIT down four, in the final minute, in a “fast break” that saw him alone surrounded by three defenders. The hilariously named Stanko Barac served as the actually efficient offensive option, scoring 17 on 9 shots and generally being a nuisance inside.

Back to the Israeli league – Hapoel Galil/Gilboa destroyed Hapoel Holon 81-59 in a game that I couldn’t watch, so I won’t drag on about it. In a more interesting Maccabi Haifa-Ironi Ashkelon game, though, Sylven Landesberg continued to be en fuego, following his 32 pointer last week with 29. Not only was Landesberg 9 for 13 from the field, he also got to the line 14 times, making 10, and grabbed 8 boards. Crazy efficiency all around for the Dukie.

Sadly, it wasn’t enough, as Ashkelon rode Marco Killingsworth‘s 22 (10 of 16) and 8 and Raymar Morgan‘s 14 (6 of 10), 8 and 5 to tie the game at 77 apiece and the ball in Haifa’s hands with 6 seconds to go. At which point, Tony Skinn somehow did this (video courtesy of our own James Herbert).

Yeah. I know.

Sean Williams continued to be the epitome of Sean Williams with 8 points, 8 boards, 3 blocks – and, of course, 5 fouls – in 31 minutes. Carlos Powell continued his solid play with 19.

The biggest news from Haifa, though, is the signing of mercurial forward Qyntel Woods. Woods has long been a trouble maker, from his Jail Blazer days to his drug suspensions in Europe as he joins a problematic yet potential-laden Haifa group. Here’s hoping to some exciting  Qyntel matches to go with a lockout that is no more.

Photo from vandinglewop via Flickr

Stern: I would not read into this optimism or pessimism as we continue to negotiate.

November 9, 2011 6:07 pm via Plume  ReplyRetweetFavorite

@KBergCBS

Ken Berger

No, David Stern. This has gone far enough.

You, your mantis-like deputy commissioner, your owners, your owners’ wives, your players, your players’ agents, your players’ agents’ economists, and Jeffery Kessler may all be trying their best to depress the hell out of the entire NBA viewing community, but even if you take away our basketball, you will not take away our optimism.

Mind you, this isn’t optimism regarding your sham of a negotiation. No, we’ve long given up on that. A season is basically gravy at this point – most of us will calmly settle for an NBA that returns for a brief existence before the Mayans’ apocalypse of 2012 takes our lives in a burning ball of flames (otherwise known as James Harden jumpers).

But still, though pessimism reigns in the big picture, it is impossible to be sad as we look at the fine print that came along with the magnificent creation of basketball. Because no matter when the season starts – Christmas, February, 2013 – there will always be something to look forward to. Here are 5 obscure things that, no matter how bleak the lockout and how long the absence, will draw us back in faster than you can say “a more punitive luxury-tax”.

Ekpe Udoh’s +/- numbers: The Golden State Warriors were fairly bad last year, if not altogether terrible. But you know what was terrible?

Their starting line-up.

According to BasketballValue.com, Stephen Curry, Monta Ellis, Dorell Wright, David Lee, and Andris Biedrins played almost 687 minutes together last season. in that time, they were outscored 1553 to 1484, for a net efficiency rating of -4.60.

Replace Biedrins with Udoh, however, and in the words of the Beatles, everything seems to be right. Curry-Ellis-Wright-Lee-Udoh played only slightly more than half of the minutes the starters did (362), but in those minutes the team’s fortunes were inversed, with a net efficiency rating of 5.69. The offense scored an elite mark of 111 points per 100 possessions, the defense was a perfectly average 105 (if you don’t understand the meaning of an average defense, you don’t understand the Warriors), and everything was well. Udoh’s individual numbers show the same trend – the team was nearly 4 points per 100 possessions better offensively with the rook on the floor than they were without it, and defensively, Udoh had a team leading impact of taking nearly 8 points per 100 possessions off the opponents’ board.

Plus/minus is a tricky stat, but Ekpe Udoh is not a tricky player. Ekpe is good, and no lockout will make us forget that.

Tyrus Thomas. Yes, Still: For years, Tyrus Thomas would blow chances like the Minnesota Timberwolves blew drafts. World-class athleticism? Cool, I’ll use it for a better release on my 20 footers! Great timing on shot-blocks? I’ll just negate that by jumping at every pump fake! Vinny Del Negro? Well, that wasn’t his fault, but it’s easy to see how it didn’t help matters in the slightest.

By the time Tyrus was moved to Charlotte for a pack of smokes and a high five, most have given up hope. And it showed. Despite playing much better basketball in Bobcat orange – basketball that was good enough to land him a 5 year, 40 million deal – Larry Brown limited his minutes in classic Larry Brown fashion, instead preferring to go with the veteran obesity that is Boris Diaw. Even though Tyrus was Charlotte’s best player on a per-minute basis in 2010-2011, his improved play was met with a yawn and a downright preposterous 21 minutes per game.

Of course, Larry Brown’s Bobcat tenure ended in the only way a Larry Brown tenure can end, with a disinterested dismissal midway through the season. Alas, the chance to miss out on yet another opportunity was too much for Tyrus, as injuries cut into the flesh of his best season to date just as the more liberal Paul Silas took over the helm.

Now, whenever basketball returns, we’ll have a physically healthy Tyrus Thomas with a mentally healthy coach and a heart full of hope. Assuming their owner doesn’t deprive us of the entire sport, the Bobcats promise to be an intriguing group in general – they have two of the most interesting rookies to enter the league in years, Gerald Henderson is a good wing defender that is extremely fun to watch if you don’t mind missed shots, and by all that is holy, I still believe that D.J. White and Dante Cunningham can make it – but let’s not allow the new to overshadow the slightly-less-new. 5 years and dozens of blown shots in, Tyrus Thomas still has more potential than almost anybody on the planet, and I’m still a sucker for potential that is bundled up in a 6’9″ frame that can jump to the moon.

Darrell Arthur’s existence: It’s hard to pin Memphis’ surprising playoff run on a single asset. If I had to rank them by order of importance, it would probably go something like:

1. Zach Randolph’s backside as it bounces another post defender just far enough from position to block another rainbow jumper.
2. Tony Allen’s crazy intensity carrying the entire squad into defensive prominence.
3. I DON’T KNOW ANY MORE THERE ARE TOO MANY FACTORS HOW THE HELL DID THIS TEAM HAPPEN?!?!?!

But somewhere within that third category, there lies a lanky 3^rd big man who, just a year ago, was supposed to be on his way out of the NBA. Somehow, in his third NBA season, Darrell Arthur transformed from a scoring power forward who is utterly incapable of scoring into an efficient offensive option off the bench who adds some shot blocking and tenacity on the other end.

How good is Darrell Arthur, really? I can’t tell you. Could he start for a good team? Can he be the difference in a playoff series? Is he a surefire first-ballot hall of famer? If you answered yes to all of these questions, you are probably me, and you are most definitely crazy. But how can we not be crazy about Darrell Arthur after seeing this?

A healthy John Wall: Here’s a funky little trivia question for you. How many NBA rookies averaged 15 points and 7 assists in their first NBA season?

The answer is a fairly round 10, and it includes some of the best NBA players of all time (along with some inevitable disappointments). However, only one of those players did so while playing on bum wheels, on the same team as Andray Blatche, JaVale McGee, and Nick Young.

There are several things that John Wall has yet to prove he can do on an NBA stage. Things like shoot, defend, or even win. But these are things one can learn. The things that people can’t just learn, though – like being a better athlete than 99% of the professional athlete population, or having a natural ability to direct an orange sphere into the waiting hands of people wearing the same colored jersey as you – John Wall already has.

And if you don’t appreciate them? John Wall will just run past you.

Paul George’s defense: If Darrell Arthur love is the irrational feather on our insanity caps, then Paul George is an entire big bird suit. A below-average rookie season from a disturbingly gifted athlete who seems like he can do anything but probably can’t? Where can I sign up, right?

Of course, Paul George did much more than nothing during his rookie season – he successfully defended the reigning MVP during what was probably the closest 5 game series in recent memory. After destroying the entire league drive after drive during the regular season, Derrick Rose took 105 shots in that Pacers series, and he only made 39 of them. Sure, he drew 60 free throws, and yes, we can’t give you an objective number of how well Rose shot with George on him relative to other defenders (pour one out for NBA StatsCube), but – I mean, just look at these. LOOK AT THEM.

It very much could be that these will be the highlights of Paul George’s entire career. But don’t you want to find out, David Stern? Don’t you want to be optimistic about Paul George? Don’t you want to be optimistic about basketball again?

Photo via Life Magazine

“Ed matured quicker than most of us. He was an all-around type of guy who had a stablizing effect on us as a leader. We all learned something from him.” – Bob Cousy

Via 100 Greatest Basketball Players of All-Time by Alex Sachare

This is the trouble in idolizing and adoring legends from bygone eras when you’re a 20-something like me. The shrouded mystique and the tantalizing aura of what these people did draws me in. I thoroughly enjoy the play of LeBron James, Kevin Durant and other greats of today’s NBA. The music of Erykah Badu and the Black Keys thrills me too. But there’s something about catching deep-from-the-vaults archival footage of James Brown & the Famous Flames taking impassioned begging to new heights or the shrouded mystique and aura of players from the 50s captured primarily in still photos like the one above.

Even when you know the era wasn’t totally charming and had its flaws, there is still a sense of quaintness about these rare snippets of a departed era. And like those eras, we all  eventually depart. On Tuesday, Ed Macauley took his leave.

(more…)

Photo by @TheWagofMutombo

Veteran player who has long been on side of decertification just texted me: "Time to blow this (bleep) to the moon."

November 5, 2011 7:21 pm via webReplyRetweetFavorite

@WojYahooNBA

Adrian Wojnarowski

Whoever you are, NBA veteran*, I like where your head’s at. Given how many concessions you guys believe you’ve made, the owners’ continued refusal to budge leaves you no choice. You must use the nuclear option, even if Kobe Bryant worries about nuclear winter. If I may offer a suggestion, however, you need to think bigger. Instead of blowing s— to the moon, why not blow s— up from the moon? More specifically, I’m talking about a space laser.

*It’s Kevin Garnett, isn’t it? I’m almost positive it’s KG. He’s probably convinced he doesn’t even need explosives to detonate this labor situation. Enough cosmic-KG headbutts of justice and Robert Sarver will be wondering if he can bring enough oxygen in a designer handbag to survive the vacuum of space.

Let’s be frank: while the players have displayed an ongoing willingness to negotiate with the owners and lower their expectations for the new CBA, the owners continue to act like a bunch of supervillains (Micky Arison excluded). And the only surefire way to fight a supervillian, if I’ve learned anything from movies, is to be an even bigger supervillain. It worked in The Usual Suspects and it worked in The Land Before Time (I think), and it can work for a labor force that seems held hostage by ownership.

Technology isn’t a problem, my friends. The U.S. Navy successfully tested a laser gun with a range that, while classified, is rumored to be measured in miles and not yards. I’m no physicist, but I’m fairly certain that means a satellite-mounted laser – or one built on the moon next to an awesome compound shaped like the NBA logo, visible from Earth – is at least 89% feasible. The question, then, is money. If all of the players are willing to pool together the money they saved for the lockout, plus take out massive loans against their multiple homes and future earnings, I’m absolutely certain that a player-operated space laser could be fully functional by the time Dwight Howard signs with the Lakers.

Then the ball would be in your court, players. With a space laser, you could force the owners into whatever concessions you demand. If they refuse, they get lasered. In fact, I have taken the liberty of devising a new CBA based on the premise that the players union has access to a fully operational space laser. The provisions are as follows:

1. 80%/20% BRI split in favor of the players. The 20% does not go to the owners; instead, it will be used to employ security to keep tabs on Gary Busey. Because if we don’t know where Gary Busey is at all times, what’s the point of even having an NBA?

2. The same system as the most recent CBA. Even the players recognize the need to keep the number of Vince Carter-contracts to a minimum. However, they believe strongly in the owners’ right to sign players to such contracts after long nights of drinking or if under the influence of Otis Smith-grade hallucinogens. That is the American way, and the union will not encroach on it.

3. The NBA will negotiate a better car sponsor than Kia. While the fine folks at Kia make a reliable, economic vehicle, NBA players believe that with their new BRI split they deserve a mode of transportation more becoming of their status. In that vein, NBA owners will divert at least one-fifth of their net wealth to resurrecting pterodactyls.

It’s the Golden Rule – He who has the space laser makes the rules. And if this all seems a bit silly, at least it’s slightly less ridiculous than risking an entire —-ing season of prime basketball over the size of the MLE for tax-paying teams and the “Melo Clause,” which sounds like an exploitation version of a Tim Allen holiday movie.

Investing in a space laser as a negotiating tactic would be stupid. Losing a season due to picking nits, on the other hand, is just insane.

Photo by pkingDesign via Flickr

In my brief time with Shaq, my experience was exactly how I had envisioned: a dream come true.  He was always making his teammates laugh. On the bench he would freestyle rap while a dope beat played during a game, or he’d make fun of his teammates on the bus or his opponents during film sessions.

He had an aura that made people want to be around him, and I was one of them. From chilling with him on a plane, to rolling with him to clubs or parties he hosted in various cities, I was there. I remember one night after leaving a party, we were in a limo and Shaq wanted something to eat. All of us had been following Steve Nash’s(notes) eating regime. That night we drove thru a McDonald’s.  Sorry, Steve … Shaq made me order a burger, fries and a Diet Coke!

[...]The Big Fella made sure to have his love felt across his team, including the rookies. Making sure they bring him milk and donuts every practice or else.  He took great pride in having fellow center Robin Lopezcarry his keyboard and drum beats on the airplane so he could produce his music. He also had Robin carry his chinchilla jacket and hat to the plane.

via Jared Dudley discusses Shaquille O’Neal, the legend – Ball Don’t Lie – NBA Blog – Yahoo! Sports.

Oh, to be Robin Lopez. To bask in the dominance of Shaquille O’Neal; to do his bidding; to bring him donuts and milk as though he were some giant policeman-Santa Claus hybrid. There is no no higher nirvana for a child of the 90s, as few dominated both their field of expertise and popular culture in general the way Shaq towered over everything. He was an actor, an All-Star, and a rapper by the end of his second year in the league; even as a Suns fan, I had pinstriped #32 jerseys, and my first signature sneakers were the Shaqnosis. To this day, I will fight anyone who claims Blue Chips is anything but cinematic gold. 

Shaq’s dominance was tailor-made to appeal, especially to children coming of age as his career bloomed. He seemed to be the world’s largest non-Rick Moranis-associated child, who crushed the souls of his opponents in the most gregarious way possible, as if he too knew that it was some sort of ferocious natural accident and that we were all just along for the ride. Here was a man barely capable of intelligible commentary in the postgame locker room yet able to string together above average verses on his musical forays – the type of gambit a precocious, charming kid would attempt. Shaq pulled it off beautifully, ducking questions that he didn’t want to answer and cracking jokes when he felt like conjuring up a sound bite. When he threatened backboards on the court and dashed madly from one end of it to the other, it lent an aura of magic to everything he did. Naturally, he became Kazaam, and we ate it up. More and more the superhero, he transformed into Steel, and…

Well, I don’t really know what happened after that. I, thankfully, skipped out on that movie. It hardly mattered, though, as Shaq’s signing in Los Angeles laid the groundwork for utter destruction of all things basketball by his hands (as soon as Michael Jordan decided he was done with the game) . Flanked by supreme shooting guards and led by legendary head coaches, he got his fair share of championship hardware – four rings in all. Perhaps he could have won more, but even when his health was a question on a nightly basis, he remained a draw. When I offered to take my father to a Suns game during the 2005-2006 season and asked who he wanted the opponent to be, he didn’t bother with a team name. He wanted to see Shaq – the other 9 players on the court be damned.

Unfortunately, it’s impossible to separate that inconsistency from the devastation Shaq wrought on the court. When someone is pressed to ask how many seasons a player was in game shape – and when the most common answer is three - there might be a slight problem. That’s why Jared Dudley’s stories are the most-Shaq thing ever. Of course someone who’s been rejuvenated by the renowned Warlock training staff in Phoenix and who’s supposed to be sticking to the Steve Nash diet would talk his new teammate (who wasn’t exactly skinny earlier in his career) into late-night fast food. Saying no to the Big Hamburglar, a legend of your profession and of your adolescence, just isn’t a possibility. That flexing of influence needn’t be a conscious effort; simply by being Shaq, he dominates the conversation, the story and the course of events. In a limo occupied by that large of a man and personality, there is no center of attention in the typical sense. Attention, energy, ideas – everything flows and emanates from the largest presence.

And of course Robin Lopez and the other rookies brought donuts and milk to the end of every practice for Shaq. Not only did he get what he wanted, he presumably got to openly do it in front of Nash in opposition to the team meal plan. That’s nothing malicious on his part, assuredly, but it seems to have been a subtle jab to remind everyone that there’s only one Shaq. None could truly stand in his way – not for long, not without giving up substantial ground – or avoid falling in his wake. If the dude wanted donuts after practice, delivered by the rookies, then people were going to abide, and the dude was going to get his donuts to really tie the practice together. Shaq did what he wanted, even if we didn’t like it – until we had no choice but to give in to the irresistible force of his will. His magnetism was undeniable; his charisma turned him into an icon and made it easier to forgive his shortcomings.

Except maybe the whole movie thing. He is in Jack & Jill, after all.

Author Illustration

“Haha, why are you watching this garbage? Everybody knows it doesn’t matter who wins.”

“Yeah, I know. I just…well, I saw this old holo-bio and it was… different then somehow. All these people, they were like, crazy about their teams back then, I guess.”

“It’s true, kids. Oh, hi, Mike, your mother know you’re here? Good, good. Yep, it sure was a different game then, not like now, what with the blowouts and Gilbert-may-care 5-pointers and all. Guys used to really give a shit, I mean really give a shit about what went on out there. It was like life or death for some of ‘em, y’know, the way they laid it out there, left it all out there, night in and out. 82 times a year, plus some, if you were lucky and good. Not these impossible-to-understand year-round on-off schedules like they have now, there were real seasons with real playoffs back in the day.

Man, before the No Basketball Apocalypse there was this one year when we thought a playoff series between the Bulls and Celtics would never end! It was glorious! Derrick Rose… you guys know who that was, right? I mean, before he went off to Spain and Greece and the Philippines and wherever else the hell it was… no? Well, no matter. Just trust me when I say he was spectacular, or was gonna be. Anyway, he just explodes out of the gate in his first ever playoff game, tying all these records and stuff, and takes the defending champs –the defending champs!– all the way to seven games! Seven games, and something like nine OTs! No, seriously, I swear it! Hell, that kid was so good he nabbed the MVP –that’s Most Valuable Player, y’know, of the league– a couple years later.

Come to think of it, that might have been the last year they really played basketball for real. Not like this garbage they peddle now that all the kids laugh at and no one watches unless soccer and XLLaCrosse are over early. Yeah, those Bulls were really, really good. Say, you know that guy in the logo? He was a Chicago Bull too. And maybe the best player ever. Don’t laugh! I’m not joking, he used to be as cold-blooded on the court as he is as The Silent Judge on that one show now. He once destroyed every team that got in his way for six straight championships, well, except for two years off in the middle when he played baseball –that’s like cricket, kinda, only with simple scoring and a stick instead of a paddle.

Whatever! Just because I don’t understand “the intricacies of cricket scoring” doesn’t mean I’m “old,” knock that off! I just…

Anyhow, so this dude takes a couple years off and out of nowhere comes this big man who could move like nothing I’d ever seen before or since, and he leads his team to two straight titles, one of ‘em as the lowest seed in the league’s history, well, back before the Mickey Mouse rules they have now. Mickey Mouse? He was… nevermind, it means “stoopid.” So, these Rockets, they practically back into the playoffs, losing two of their last three games to the team they have to play in the first round, and this Hakeem the Dream dude, he steps out and drops something like 50 or 60 points on this other big dude they called The Mailman. What’s mail? It was… dependable, that’s what mail was. So, these two big guys go back and forth all series long, trading shots and post moves –that’s where big guys used to go to work back before everybody started slinging rocks from the moon– and they take the series and run with the momentum all the way through the Finals.

And the fans… oh, man, the fans! They were rabid back then! I used to be hoarse for three days after a game just trying to out-yell the guy next to me tryin’ to have my voice heard too. No kidding, I’m dead serious. It was an event to go to a game back then, you couldn’t just buy a ticket and cruise right down to the front row like now. And games like that were the talk of the town for weeks, sometimes years, afterward. It was a kind of badge of honor to be able to say, “Hey! I was at that game when so-and-so did that!”

What happened? You know, I’m not even sure now. I do remember that it was one helluva roller coaster though. It seems like they were close –oh, so close– for so long. And then one day POOF! It was just gone.

Okay, well, not gone gone. But it was never the same since. People just didn’t come back, and those that did… they were… changed. Tainted. Hurt. More… quiet, or more accurately, maybe, muffled. It was like the passion and joy had been sucked out of them by some kind of evil sports-mongering bloodsucker. And when they did speak the cynicism was as plain as the sponsors on the uniforms of today, as sharp as a plasma knife slicing through a holiday ham at Christmas dinner down at the depots.

Man, I really wanted to see what that kid on the Clippers –that’s right, there used to be only two teams in LA and a team called the Clippers were one of ‘em– was gonna be capable of. Those exhibition-type dunks now? He used to do ‘em in traffic against defenses hellbent on keeping him from the rim at any cost. And they couldn’t! He used to go up in the air and come down like rain. Well, like rain back before…

Hmm? Right. Sorry, kids, I was rambling off in the land of daydreams and recollections. The game used to be that good. Really.

Well, I’m off to smash some peaches with a sledgehammer. If your mom asks you have no idea what happened to ‘em. Hey! Don’t forget your short crosse and helmets. And be back before the hydro-dome lights kick all the way on.”