Hardwood Paroxysm Presents: The Washington Wizards Season Preview 2011-2012, or How I learned to Stop Worrying and Love John Wall
I can see clearly now, the rain is gone. The lockout has lifted, we have a season, can I get an Amen? (Amen.) And in the spirit of renewal, our shiny new cadre of writers is putting together previews for all 30 teams in true HP style. From where teams are going to what their disgrace is to explorations of pop culture, we are about to rock, salute us, can I get an Amen? (Amen.) So sit back, relax, and ponder the awesomeness of this fully operational Hardwood Paroxysm 3.0. -Ed.
Image via DancingSloth on Flickr
Quo Vadimus (Where Are We Going?)
by Amin Vafa
Where ever John Wall takes them. Wall has the potential to take this team into hyperspace in terms of speed of play and re-relevance in the league. But for now, his momentum is being slowed down by a bunch of non-complementary pieces who embody poor decision-making, unnecessary ball-stopping, and lackadaisical defense—to name a few traits. If only Don Nelson were the coach, then at least this rag-tag bunch of chuckleheads could play some fast paced exciting-yet-terrible ball.
Thankfully, the team is in good shape going forward this season and after. With the additions of offensively and defensively adept big men Jan Vesely and Chris Singleton, Washington’s getting a much need boost to its front line’s depth of both talent and character. If the status quo were to be maintained for the rest of the season (no transactions, no drama, etc), then this team is still demonstrably better than it was last year simply because of the additions of Singleton and Vesely and because of Wall’s health and veteran mentality. However, if the team were to enact my wishlist (let Grunfeld walk at the end of the season and hire Pritchard, trade Blatche and other non-Wall-complimentary pieces, sign an effective shooting guard that works off the ball), then I would foresee them making the playoffs next year.
Also, lest we forget, SHINY NEW TEAM JERSEYS!
Who Wants to Start a Cult about Ted Leonsis?
by Amin Vafa
OK, so maybe NBA bloggers/fans/blogfrans(?) aren’t too keen on starting a cult about an owner after the lockout painted that bloc rather villainously. Also, Leonsis was part of the cadre of also-NHL-team-owners that seemed interested in turning the NBA’s system into something NHL-like. But hear me out!
Ted Leonsis has performed really well as an owner so far. He had one minor blip at the beginning of his term by signing Blatche to a long-term contract (but still fairly-priced considering Blatche’s statistical production), but other than that he has taken a franchise that got out of control in terms of finances and drama in the final years of Abe Pollin’s tenure and has managed to steer the ship well without burning the building to the ground or further mixing his metaphors. The team is chock-fun of youngins, and the only monstrous contract left is Rashard Lewis’s. And if the team can’t get the production out of him that it needs—POOF: Amnestied. Let’s be real, Shard’s probably getting amnestied anyway (but at least he brought veteran presence to a young locker room, provided a means to dump Arenas’s contract, and I got to see him walk his dog by my apartment once—so definitely a valuable short-term addition).
Despite having to deal with poorly managed assets upon his takeover of the team, Leonsis managed to be respectful to the Pollin legacy in ways that have been very well-received in the city of Washington and among the NBA community at large. Irene Pollin, Abe’s widow, was the team representative at the draft that landed the Wizards John Wall. Not to mention, he has also also preserved Abe’s wishes by NOT changing the team name back to the fan-favorite Bullets moniker—a definitely classy move, even if we’re about one step away from changing the name to the Washington Monuments. Ted has also been very accessible to fans via his blog and even his email, and he’s even managed to be blog-friendly! I think nothing exemplifies Leonsis’s fan-friendly, media-friendly, contract-friendly, sensible and stable approach to ownership than this interview he did with the SB Nation Redskins site Hogs Haven. I encourage you to go over and read the whole thing. Ted has applied that approach to the Caps and has had a lot of success in the past few years. I, for one, cannot wait for him to be able to exercise his same philosophy with the Wizards.
ALL HAIL TED. KALI-MAAAAA!
httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HYZAeBUlQGk
Note: Much of Leonsis’s ability to rebuild the Caps and the Wizards has stemmed from the fact that he has drafted two phenoms in Alex Ovechkin and John Wall. If he’s not 100% sensible, then at least he’s damn lucky. And it’s not like franchises don’t need luck to survive.
POPULAR THEORIES IN EMERGING BASKETBALL-CULTURAL CROSS-REFERENCES
by Amin Vafa
PLANKING! What is planking, you ask? Please don’t ask. OK, I’ll tell you. It’s when you lie down flat (LIKE A PLANK) on top of stuff that normally isn’t supposed to be lied down upon. Like a stack of weights, or something else equally stupid. Anyway, the fad burned bright over the summer, and thankfully, it has run its course. How do we know it has run its course? Because it was immortalized in an episode of The Office. With that, we here at Hardwood Paroxysm bid adieu to planking with this clip of Javale McGee performing the mythical rebound-dunk-block-plank combo (officially giving him enough points to upgrade from Wizard to Mage) during an exhibition game in the Philippines.
httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G0YHLcIgHAY
RIP Planking.
/21-gun salute
A Brief Video Interlude
by Amin Vafa
httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pBD0093jEvI
Here’s John Wall doing the Dougie. At the time of this intro, Wall’s dance wasn’t only topical, it drove Wizards fans crazy with excitement. In fact, he made this song so popular in Washington that:
1) the Wizards brought Cali Swag District to perform during a third quarter intermission. Fans loved the song, but were so oblivious to who had written it that the Wizards’ hype man Big Tigger had to shout the crowd “THIS IS THEIR SONG! THESE ARE THE GUYS THAT WROTE THIS SONG!” thus making Cali Swag District momentary celebrities in DC.
2) Ted Leonsis wagered Wizards fandom that if they could sell out a non-marquee game (so excluding games Lakers, Celtics, Heat, and other teams with roving fanbases), then he would do the Dougie. Unfortunately, that never happened… except briefly in this WTOP interview (check out the 26-second mark)
httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FJPRzSfffYE
The Disgrace
by Curtis Harris
The Three Stooges: JaVale McGee, Andray Blatche and Nick Young. The three holdovers from the glorious Caron-Antawn-Finga Gunz era. Sadly it appears these three young men learned more from Gilbert Arenas than they did from Antawn Jamison. Jamison is one of the most professional and hard-working players we’ve had in the league for the last 15 years. Gilbert is the noted fool who gets his giggles from leaving [redacted] in the shoes of teammates. And let’s not even recall the Showdown in the Locker Room.
Young and McGee are merely knuckleheads who are most likely just experiencing growing pains. McGee is super talented, can jump out the gym and has the wingspan of an albatross. I pray for the day when he can make wise basketball decisions on the court instead of attempting a FT line dunk or leaving tread marks on James Jones. Young can shoot the rock like few others. Unfortunately, that’s usually the only way the ball ever leaves his hands. Last season, you could see the wheels a-turnin’ inside his head, though, as he made wiser decisions with the ball and on his shot-selection as he put up a career-high in TS% and a career-low in TO%.
Then there’s Blatche. The incorrigible buffoon. Never does it seem he does anything out of malice, but his head has just never been screwed on right. Seeing him chase after a triple-double was one of the sadder sights in NBA memory, until McGee went on his on quest last season. Then again, McGee never grimaced at a teammate for making the right basketball play.
Ugh, let’s just focus on John Wall.
Will You Remember Me? I Will Remember You.
by Scott Leedy
It feels a bit like a time bomb doesn’t it? Maybe it’s a little too early to be discussing this. The Wizards are young, and yes they are bound to be terrible but they also have what appears to be one of the most talented point guards in the league. John Wall is supposed to be the savior of the franchise. He’s going to fulfill the promise Gilbert Arenas never really could. He will make The Wizards relevant. Or at least that’s the hope. Lately it feels like hope is merely an illusion of success that never comes. Every so called “savior” appears to be jumping ship for a larger market with more high profile teammates. The love between fanbase and star, however real it actually is, doesn’t seem to hold much weight when faced with the promise of more championships and grander legacies.
I know, John Wall isn’t even good enough to merit this discussion yet. But in many ways it feels appropriate. The Wizards have only a few more years to build something that suit’s Wall’s interests and sensibilities. Their future will be defined as much by Wall’s off court choices as it is by his on court play. They got lucky enough to land a what is likely to be a franchise cornerstone. Now it’s their job to make sure Washington isn’t just a stepping stone for Wall’s illustrious career. So when we look back on this season, the important question isn’t as much “How good can John Wall make The Wizards?” as it is “Are the Wizards good enough for John Wall to stay?”
Oster-Tags: 2011-12 Season Previews, washington wizards
