Matt, Ben. Ben, Matt.
[flash http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gmTtchbUuOQ&feature=player_embedded]
Lion Face: LeBron James
If you didn’t spend the day hiding under a rock, you know there was a chance LeBron wouldn’t play the game against the Lakers last night due to flu like symptoms. After the night he had, obviously, LeBron should consider being questionable for all subsequent games with flu like symptoms. He posted his 59th career 30-8-8 game while also blocking three shots and snatching four steals in a game that wasn’t nearly as close as the final score indicated. LeBron’s performance in any given regular season game doesn’t mean much in the public consciousness because there will always be a subset of the NBA community that detracts from every one of his accomplishments until he wins a championship, but we should still stop and appreciate his skills along the way.
LeBron didn’t go to college, but if he did, I’d wager that he would’ve gone to Ball So Hard University (I want it noted that I just came up with a really creative excuse to show this clip).
[flash http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GBlZGamRCjM&feature=related]
Lemon Face: Kobe Bryant
Kobe’s stat line belies how ineffective he was for much of the night, as started the game 2-for-13 from the field before going 6-for-8 and scoring 16 points in the mostly meaningless fourth quarter of a blowout.
Lion Face: Eddy Curry
For playing in his first NBA game since 2009, and losing 100 pounds in between.
Lemon Face: Eddy Curry
For loafing through his last contract with the New York Knicks and being the inspiration for me buying a t-shirt that reads: “Isiah destroyed my team and all I got was this lousy $54m/6yr contract.” (Note: Not the actual terms of Curry’s contract, that’s just what the shirt said.)
Lion Face: The NBA using Primus in an ad
Yup.
[flash http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-DXZ-eNrAoQ]
Lemon Face: Mike Brown
This is what Mike Brown asked of the Lakers’ starters in the fourth quarter tonight:
[flash http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1ZVL_uk-U2w]
This in the fourth quarter of a blowout game in January on the first night of a back-to-back. I’d venture to say that if this game was not against the Heat on TNT, Brown would have sat his starters in the fourth. The Lakers weren’t going to win the game, and everyone watching, playing and coaching knew it. In this shortened and condensed season, there are some nights where you have to simply cut your losses and throw away a losing hand, which is what Brown should’ve done tonight.
You know who DOES know how to cut their losses and throw away a losing hand? Matt Damon’s Wet Blanket Girlfriend in Rounders, as portrayed by Gretchen Mol.
Lion Face: Kyle Lowry and Samuel DalembertÂÂ
KLOE didn’t shoot especially well (4-for-11) and turned the ball over seven times, but finishing one rebound and two assists shy of a triple double in a victory will earn you a Lion Face from me every time. Dalembert had his second straight double-double, blocked two shots and was a +7 in 43 minutes. In the 10 minutes he wasn’t on the court, Houston was -5.
Lemon Face: Al-Farouq Aminu
2-9 from the field in 18 minutes. Yuck.
Lion Face: Rodrique Beaubois
Roddy Buckets was a game-changer for the Mavs, as he poured in 10 fourth quarter points. He also blocked a dunk attempt by Paul Millsap. It’s a good thing the Frenchman stepped his game up because…
Lemon Face: Jason Terry
I’m going to ignore Terry’s YOOGE fourth-quarter three-pointer to put the Mavs ahead for good because he was pretty awful the rest of the night. Excluding that shot, Jet was 2-for-13 from the field and 1-for-9 from three-point land in 31 minutes of play. He had just one rebound and one assist, and turned it over twice. It was not a pretty night for Mr. Terry, even if he did knock down a big shot.
Lion Face: Paul Millsap and Al Jefferson, again
I feel like I’ll be giving these guys Lion Faces every night. Pal Jeffersap (again, I know this sounds terrible) combined for 38 points and 22 rebounds. Those 22 rebounds were the same amount as the Mavericks’ front-court sextet of Brendan Haywood, Ian Mahinmi, Dirk Nowitzki, Lamar Odom, Shawn Marion and Brian Cardinal combined to grab, making it the second consecutive time they’ve combined to have as many rebounds as the other team’s entire front court on a night when I was doing Lion Face/Lemon Face this season. These guys have been doing serious work on the glass.
Lemon Face: Devin Harris and Derrick Favors
Yes, it does. So does getting ejected in a close game for heaving the basketball into the crowd after being called for an offensive foul. That’s why you see both Harris and Favors here. Harris, an All-Star just three years ago, has regressed to the point where he’s nearly unrecognizable as the player he used to be. Favors has to learn to control his emotions in high-pressure moments.
Lemon Face: Kayla Brianna
[flash http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7w-XZySMGlA]
You can usually find Kenny Smith screaming, “IT’S OVAAAHHH!!! OHHHHH!!!!! IT’S OVAHHHHHHH!!!!!” every year at the dunk contest. And that’s what I’m screaming right now at the prospect of Kayla Brianna’s singing career. Sorry, girl.
