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NBA Playoffs: In Which I Make A Completely Absurd Argument For The Fun Of It

March 29, 2010 in by with 2 Comments

One of the things Greg Popovich has talked about extensively is the imperative of avoiding that eighth seed, of not ending up in a tussle with LA in the first round. It’s a fairly easy idea. Try and avoid the best team as long as possible, hope someone else does the dirty work for you, hope they get tired, hope they get banged up, go as far as you can, get as much playoff money as you can, stay away from the big, bad Lakers.

And pardon me if I sound like Owen Wilson in The Royal Tenenbaums (“What this book presupposes is… “What if he didn’t?”), but I do keep having the same thought.

Isn’t it better to get LA sooner rather than later?

via NBA Playoffs: If the Lakers are inevitable, do you want them early or late? – ProBasketballTalk – Basketball – NBC Sports.

It came to me when I was yapping at Graydon on the phone on the way home. The Spurs, fresh off a big win over the Cavs, had him feeling jaunty. He had mentioned in a previous, more morose call that he would rather lose to the Lakers in a seven game blaze of glory than to a “lesser” team, just exposing the team as a failure. Losing to LA is unfortunate, losing to anyone else is a failure.

So I offered up the idea, hey, what if you wind up as 8th seed? Pound ‘em in game one, then let them have Game Two, get overconfident, then go balls out to take three and four, setting up an elimination game in LA for game 5.

It’s a complicated idea, and not a very intuitive one. Why give up on the playoff money, and the chance that someone else pulls the upset, or that Kobe’s finger breaks again?

But the money is negligible. What team has a better shot than your team? And Kobe would play through being stabbed through the chest with a gigantic spear. (“He’s listed as day to day with complete organ trauma.”)

Anyway, you can read more about it at PBT above.

One final note. The West is a gauntlet, any way you shake it. It’s going to be a nightmare. You don’t get LA in your bracket (2-3-6-7 seeds)? You’re looking at two of these: Denver, Dallas, Utah, Phoenix, OKC, Portland, San Antonio. You have to beat two either way, right? But in this scenario, you beat the Lakers. And from then on out? You’re unbeatable. Because you will not face a tougher challenge than what you did in the first round.

The biggest hill isn’t the one you want when you’ve been through the mud and swamps and gone 3/4 of the route. It’s something you want to look back at and say “Where I’m at now isn’t nearly as bad as that.”

Manu Has Sold Me: Ginobili Hits Insane 3rd Quarter Buzzer Beater Shot Video

March 28, 2010 in by with 13 Comments

You gotta understand, I loathed the little Argentinian bastard. To a devoted fan of SSOL, Ginobili was the biggest enemy there could be. The constant move to his left. The constant second guessing yourself of whether he’s athletic or not. And the flops. Oh, man, the flops.

So it was difficult to appreciate him, even as he was slicing and dicing his way to championships, a central part of one of the most successful teams of the last decade. And when his health started to go last year, I thought that was it. He was done. Age had caught up with him and lack of athleticism would spell his demise into sad role player shell of his former self. I went so far as to make a bet with Graydon that Ginobili wouldn’t score 30 or more in a game this season. AND I WAS SOBER.

Yeah, that didn’t work out.

But for some reason, maybe it’s the struggles the Spurs are having, no longer the dominant irritant, maybe it’s the new identity of the Spurs, a little less rigid, a little less successful, a little more interesting, if a little lower in the winning percentage department. Maybe it’s just like my realization last year that “Holy crap, Dirk Nowitzki isn’t just “Oh, yeah, he’s good, yada yada yada, not as good as people say he is,” he’s really good. Because that’s what I’ve seen this year with Ginobili. He, more than anyone, including Duncan and Pop, has willed the Spurs to wins by any means necessary. I’ve seen him use the lefty. I’ve seen him hit from the outside. I’ve even seen him use the penetration dribble, hesitation at the elbow, burst to the rack move that’s Parker’s favorite, as if Ginobili has it on loan.

I’ve seen him distribute, driving and kicking with the best of them. I’ve seen him defend, that nagging, irritant, “Oh, hey surprise! You’re in a corner trap and you didn’t even know it!” defense. The Durant block. Man, the Durant block.

And last night, in an abject beatdown of the Celtics, who had just started to get their feet under them, in Boston, Ginobili hit something that finally made it click. I’m a Manu fan. Which means he’ll probably break his ankle in four places in two days. But man, he’s done too much for his career, even if I’ve spent most of it hoping he slips on a banana peel and gets bent. He hit this shot that was so good, I just dropped my sandwich. That is not a euphemism. And I love sandwiches. It was insane. It was ridiculous.

Dude just…

Aw, hell. Watch.

And that’s how you make a convert.

It’s easy to say that’s a dog shot. But how many do we see a year? Some guys in the league? They can do this. They can hit leaning, running, one-handed, fading mid-court shots as the clock expires. And he could do it for the win, he could do it in a preseason game. He could do it in summer league. Manu’s a machine, and I’m glad I get to watch the end of his career with an appreciation for a guy that is as singularly unique in style, performance, and ability as anyone in league history.

Long live GINOBILI!

Guest Post – She Got Game Too: Is the NBA Dance Bracket’s Time Up?

March 23, 2010 in by with 82 Comments

Sarah Tolcser is a co-author of HornetsHype and well known NBA Twitter known as ticktock6. After lobbying her for about six months, she has finally relented and agreed to a guest post here at HP. I’m incredibly excited to present to you this piece on the role of women in the NBA’s marketing plans and how the dance bracket needs to bite it. Enjoy. -MM

This week we saw the annual launch of one of my least favorite things about the NBA season, the official Dance Bracket 2010. Seriously. This is an official thing. It pops up on the front page of NBA.com around the time of March Madness, right above the Haier Play of the Day and sharing a featured space with things I actually care about, like the Power Rankings and the Rookie Rankings and Chris Paul Might Play Tonight. “Today’s Matchup: Lovabulls (barf) vs. Automotion.” Oh, what am I even doing explaining it? You know it’s a real thing. You probably already voted in it. I don’t blame you– my own boyfriend did.

Let’s toss out some stats. Did you know that recent numbers state that 40% of NBA fans are female? That’s impressively close to being half. How come I see these female fans every time I go to an NBA arena, and yet when I come on the internet I sometimes feel like it’s just me out here? Could it be that there are factors stopping female fans from participating in online discourse? Do we not feel comfortable or engaged or involved? And is it time for the NBA to let the Dance Bracket go, to be picked up by an independent blog or media outlet maybe? I’m not saying there isn’t a place for it, that people shouldn’t get a chance to ogle and appreciate members of the opposite sex. (I myself appreciate Rudy Gay when I watch Memphis Grizzlies games.) What I am saying is that we may be rapidly approaching a time when this place is not the front page of the league’s official website. Or it shouldn’t be.

As a gamer, I see a lot of crossover with my experiences as a consumer of that industry. The numbers are even similar, with about 38% of the video game demographic being female (and the numbers rise as high as 50% for PC gamers). And yet gaming companies don’t market to women, and I find myself sighing as I hit the internet to download yet another mod to alter the ridiculousness of my character wielding a broadsword while wearing high heels and bikini armor. Part of it is the assumption that women are only “casual” gamers. And I do wonder if that isn’t partially the same for the NBA and its female audience. The stereotype is of a woman who may attend games with her husband or family, but whose fandom interest does not necessarily extend to the websites, blogs, chats, or forums. It’s a man’s league, and a couple of us just happen to be along for the ride, right?

The NBA has been way ahead of the other major sports leagues in pioneering some things, such as social media. It’s time they show they can get with the program when it comes to their female fans. As a Hornets season ticketholder, I’ve taken surveys as a member of many different demographic classes– including ticketholder, event attender, arena food and drink buyer, merchandise purchaser, web content consumer, and New Orleans resident. You know what I realize they’ve never once asked me? What more they could be doing for me as a female fan.

And you know, NBA, I would really like to be asked that question. Because I have some things to say that might surprise you, things like, “The answer is not more pink jerseys.” Things like, as a member of a growing class of unmarried women ages 25-44,”family friendly” promotions and cute distractions on court during the game entice me no more than they entice male fans. Things like, some of the advertising spots from your own sponsors have sexist overtones that make me uncomfortable. Things like, when I go to your official website and see scantily-clad girls on the front page, I can’t help feeling that the NBA is not meant to be “for me.”

You might be interested in knowing, NBA, that I would love to buy an authentic jersey instead of a replica, but I can’t justify spending the money on something that has no hope of fitting me. Do you know what it would mean to me to, just once, see a female NBA executive spotlighted, or even any female employee who’s not a dancer? I’m not interested in fashion, but I know many women are. So are many NBA players. That seems like a no-brainer right there– there’s nothing you can do with that? There are columns on your website for all sorts of specific interests– fantasy sports, for instance. Why isn’t there one for us? Do you know that you’re wasting your time bedazzling things and making them pink, when my team wears teal? Do you know I’ve never been able to actually wear a single clothing item from an NBA free giveaway? And that it’s not enough to say “Oh, well, we have the WNBA for you” when I’m already buying your product? Do you know these things? And, if not, do you employ a team of people whose job it is to research these things? Is it a full time team, or do you just hire the occasional consultant? How many members of that team are female? How many of them are getting involved and reaching out on social media sites such as Twitter? What are the gender demographics of your employees and your teams’ employees? If you won’t hire me for positions other than the “cute” jobs, I’m pretty sure you ain’t marketing to me.

But you should be. Studies show that women purchase or influence the purchase of 80% of consumer product sales in the United States. This means we’re buying the tickets. And we’re deciding whether the tickets are part of the household budget. And we’re deciding whether to buy the tickets for our kids, ensuring that a whole new generation of NBA fans gets hooked. We’re buying a product we aren’t even sure you want us to be buying. Because we love basketball. And sometimes I feel like we’re putting up with a lot, just to love basketball. (There are days when being female and hanging out in the NBA blogosphere, especially in certain comment threads, is like Tom Cruise said in Jerry Maguire, “an up-at-dawn, pride-swallowing siege that I will never fully tell you about.”) This year when I saw the Dance Bracket, my reaction was no longer rage– it was more like resigned indifference. I’m not in marketing, but I’m pretty sure “indifference” is not a keyword you should be going for, as a reaction to your product. What it comes down to is that, in an era of declining attendance and financial hardship all over the league, maybe it’s time for the NBA to look at what it’s currently doing and what it can be doing for that other 40% of its fans.

I challenge you to ask me, NBA. I promise that if you do, I can instantly round up at least twenty other female NBA fans out of my Twitter feed alone who would also be happy to provide you with input. I can’t tell you what all women want; I can just tell you what this woman wants. But you have to ask me.

The time may be coming when you can’t afford not to.

Sarah Tolcser lives in New Orleans and enjoys the stylings of Marcus Thornton very much.

March Madness And The Debate Of Quality Versus Entertainment

March 22, 2010 in by with 9 Comments

Well, then. Since Andrew Sharp of SBNation.com, whose work I genuinely enjoy, decided to pistol whip me, drag me out into the street, and execute me like the dog I am, I suppose I’d better respond.

Here are a few basic outlines, because I’d like to get this stuff in an organized fashion.

  • No one, especially not me, is arguing that the NCAA tournament is not more entertaining. It is. It clearly is. It provides more moments in a single day of the tournament that have you jumping out of your seat yelling than the entire NBA playoffs combined. It’s vastly more entertaining. The players are playing without regard to contracts, their health, their marketability, or their image. They just want to win. This is a shot at glory, one brief charge towards history. And while the vast majority of them end up as nothing more than bar trivia or part of the yearly highlight package for a few seasons, it means the world to them. It’s easy to connect to. The NCAA tournament is more entertaining than the NBA.
  • That said, my point is centrally focused on the quality of the basketball. And high quality basketball? Is often, if not primarily, less entertaining. It’s a function of rote knowledge of how to execute. An example. About 700,000 times in the course of the tournament, some gangly, slow white kid will throw himself across the floor, diving for a loose ball. Now, forget the fact that what will of course end up happening is either Slowy McWonderbread will fail to get to the ball in time as it sails out of bounds, or that if he does get it, the opponent will simple reach all over him, creating a tie-up, which, because of the terrible rules of the NCAA tournament, will simply end with the opponent being handed the ball anyway. That moment where he dives is exciting. And we love the kid for it. Giving it his all. Laying it all on the line. Bleeding for his team. OTHER CLICHES! The problem? Rip Hamilton is outracing that kid, picking the ball up, and throwing a perfect 35 foot outlet pass for a dunk. While Weepy McElson is trying to get his floppy hair out of his face.
  • They’re amateurs. That’s not knocking them. It’s a fact. They’re not as good. That’s what makes the competition so good! They’re prone to screwing up, which leads to comebacks! The full court press works!  NBA guards would be slicing and dicing that trap like it was nothing. Comebacks in the NBA inside a minute? Really f’ing hard. Why? Guys know how to get the ball inbounds, and can get it to guys who can hit free throws. I recognize the free throw shooting by NBA bigs isn’t exactly awesome, but let’s look at the totals.
  • I’m not talking about how entertaining the game is, I’m talking about the quality of the players and execution thereof. Not that somehow watching Cleveland pound Detroit into oblivion is a better watch than MSU and Maryland trading buzzer beaters. Of COURSE that’s more entertaining.
  • I watch the tournament! I watched 90% of the games this weekend, and enjoyed it. It’s not a question of if it’s entertaining. It’s whether it’s as good. And it’s not. Who cares if it’s better though? The average fan doesn’t. They’d much rather watch Weepy Wonderbread diving across the floor and a dude jacking up a shot with 30 seconds left on the shot clock than Deron Williams and Andrei Kirilenko running a pick and roll to death. But which is better basketball?
  • Sharp contends that the quality of play is not that far apart, thanks to “dribble-dribble-drive-foul.” But isn’t that defense? Isn’t that at least being aware of where to be and how to stop your opponent? These kids can’t even get penetration (which isn’t surprising if you look at most of their faces-HEYO) against bad defense. They’re just tossing it around the perimeter, and then taking threes from five steps behind the line. That’s good basketball? No. It’s not working for a quality shot, it’s not executing, it’s vomiting up a shot and watching it drop. But is it entertaining? Hell yes!
  • Which is odd, because the biggest problem with the college game? They can’t shoot, comparatively. Look at the defense being played, and then compare the results when they try and hit basic 12 foot baseline jumpers. It’s maddening, if you follow the pro game. KU-UNI was the most entertaining game of the tournament, and the winning team shot 40%, the losing team 44%. Some teams can get hot, but again, good Lord, the defense. But again, this doesn’t make it less exciting. That’s why the Suns are so exciting. They don’t play defense AND can shoot.
  • Look, I’m far from a basketball expert. The goal of my career and this blog? To learn more about the game. Well, that and to make fun of Vince Carter. But mostly to learn. The More You Know. Dunh-dunh-duhn. But it’s not hard to be able to look at the execution and recognize the NBA is superior. Why wouldn’t it be? They’re professionals. The others are amateur, “student” athletes. But the players that make the tournament truly great, outside of those launching ill-advised shots that require juevos the size of watermelons? NBA talent. Sharp ends his little letter with some pictures of NBA greats whose careers began in college. Only they didn’t begin in college. They began in high school, and before that when they picked up a basketball and found they liked the game. College was just another step. And the fact that those images bring to mind some of the greatest moments in college basketball proves the point.  The tournament’s great for these little upsets from unknown players from unknown schools who will be selling us insurance in a few years, but the championships are most often won by those who are simply better, and more talented, and those are the guys using the NCAA (as the NCAA is blatantly and disgustingly using them) to get to the NBA.
  • Sharp’s point is a fine one. March Madness is way more entertaining. But then again, if you look at the ratings, Lifetime’s going to demolish IFC. Pizza Hut is a multi-billion dollar company. But that doesn’t mean Lifetime’s making better movies, or that Pizza Hut isn’t poisoning you into obesity.
  • One final note. Sharp gives the impression that I just set off on attacking the NCAA because I’m a snob (which I am). Not true. Here’s the actual chain of events. I point out something that is horribly executed during an NCAA game consistently (I believe the first time it was their inability to throw outlet passes at all, but it may have been missing shots with poor selection, or the whole “I can’t dribble even though I’m a starting guard for a nationally televised basketball game.” It’s hard to remember.). Then immediately people jump down my throat because I’m just supposed to shut up and down the candy-sweet delights of a team with poor athletes and bad execution managing to topple a team with marginal talent and horrible execution. And that leads to amped feelings on both sides, and statements like this from Peter Robert Casey (see how easy it is to link someone? Bud don’t worry, I don’t blame you, guys that prefer college ball naturally like it sloppy. How is your mother? HEYO-What do you mean that’s not funny and just sort of childish?/ivebeenderailed). Which are, you know, not true.

So listen, it’s okay, Andy. No one is arguing that the NCAA tournament isn’t the most exciting sporting event in the country, or that it’s not all fun to watch teams with heart and hustle knock off big time programs before inevitably getting their asses handed to them by the NEXT big time program with more talent.  The ratings are better, the money is better, it’s infinitely more popular. The people have spoken. Just like they did when they made a certain movie $100 million dollars.

So here’s a letter of our own.

Dear NCAA tournament swooners: It’s totally cool that you prefer the NCAA tournament. It’s wildly exciting and fun to watch.

It’s filled with stunning visuals that last a lifetime.

It tells a heartwarming tale (for a little while) that we can all enjoy, and it inevitably ends with many of us drunk and losing our pool money.

So don’t worry, we capitulate. You really are the coolest kids in the room. We’ll be over in the other room watching players that can actually execute the simplest and most effective basketball set in existence. Don’t mind us.

And if you don’t believe us that you’re the coolest, just ask Kangaroo Jack.

NOTE: This blogpost is unnecessarily snobbish and hipster-ish in honor of SXSW and for entertainment purposes only. It’s tone and Yo Momma Jokes should not be taken seriously, much like the validity of the NCAA’s process of selecting a champion.

GRIZZLIES: Michael Heisley, The Most Dangerous Man With A Mic

March 18, 2010 in by with 0 Comments

Griz owner Michael Heisley told a group of season ticket holders that the team intends to match any offer Gay might receive as a restricted free agent this summer. Heisley spoke before the game at the team’s annual “State of the Franchise” Chalk Talk where season ticket holders could ask questions.

via Griz owner Michael Heisley told a group of season ticket holders that the team intends to match any… – Straight Outta Vancouver.

First, he couldn’t re-sign him because attendance wasn’t good enough. Then he said he would make every effort. Now he’s going to do it no matter what.

So which is it?

I’m about to sympathize with Michael Heisley, so let’s all hold our noses as we plunge into this cesspool.

It’s an impossible situation. If he doesn’t re-sign Gay, no matter how overpaid the offer sheet may be, he’s a cheap owner. But Gay is simply not worth all that much. He’s worth a lot, don’t get me wrong. But he’s worth the most to the Grizzlies as a symbol that they’re willing to spend to compete. Which is something the fanbase, whatever’s left of it, needs.

The attendance in Memphis is bad news bears, pardon the pun. I support small markets. I stick up for small markets. I defend small markets. But the team has been over .500 for the vast majority of the season and was in the playoff hunt as recently as last night when Aaron Brooks hit his 900th three pointer. And yet attendance has been pathetic. Not bad. Pathetic. The Grizzlies have given Memphis every reason to come out and support this team, and instead, the city had basically decided what they thought about the Grizzlies back in October, and have refused to reconsider.

But if they’re going to buy back in, they have to believe this is a franchise committed to winning.  And Heisley’s discussions with the press are not helping matters, even if I can sympathize. The attendance thing? Does not need to be confused with the Rudy issue. If you want to win and think Gay is the way to get there, re-sign him. Don’t try and hold the fans hostage, because that’s not going to work. The people that care if you re-sign Rudy Gay? They’re already coming to the games, decked in blue. Furthermore, as much as it may suck, turning the issue into you being vilified, even if true, is not going to help matters. Who cares who the owner is? Ask Clippers or Warriors fans.

These complicating factors make it really difficult to get a good sense of the real problem here: Rudy Gay isn’t worth a max contract. He’s not worth anything near it. There are players younger than Gay with worse numbers that you can look at and say “That’s going to be a complete player.” With Gay, you’re left with the fact that he’s a pivotal part of this team and yet he’s not clocked in all the time. O.J. Mayo has his struggles. He’s gotten better at the rim, he’s killer from outside, but he has his shooting slumps and gets worn down on defense. But OJAM’s clocked in on every play, every night. Gay is clocked in for about 3/4 of the time. That other quarter is when you can’t figure out where he is or what he’s doing. The things Gay is tremendous at, creating that shifty leaning sideways runner, dunking in the open floor, nailing big shots, these are all valuable components for a contributing piece, not a centerpiece.

Neither Mayo, nor Gasol, and definitely not Randolph (due to age, not effort) may be the future of the Grizzlies, but you can look at their games and see them either becoming those primary components, or laying the foundation of a supporting cast for a true superstar. Gay doesn’t even work in that model, because he demands so much money. But if the Grizzlies let him walk, they’re unlikely to get a true superstar in return, through trade or free agency. They’re handcuffed by the market, and in return, are trying to handcuff the fans.

And the result is simply that both sides are tearing the Grizzlies apart, in what should be a hopeful time for them.

Cancer.

March 16, 2010 in by with 3 Comments

I don’t know how your Monday was, but this was Karl’s: He’d coached the Nuggets to a 12-point win over Portland the night before. Didn’t hit the sack until 1. Got up at 5. Was at the hospital by 6. Had surgery at 6:30 to put in the stomach tube that, coming soon, will be the only way he’ll eat. Out of surgery at 7. Radiation at 8. Home by 10. Nap. Then started working on preparing for the Minnesota game.

His doctors have called his cancer “treatable,” but as a prostate cancer survivor from 2005, he knows there’s no guaranteed contract with the dragon. Still, he refuses to play the victim card. “Nothing I do is painful,” he tells the press.

via Rick Reilly: George vs. The Dragon – ESPN.

I actually talked with George Karl for about thirty seconds. It was at All-Star Weekend and I wanted to ask him about his son, Coby, and his continued pursuit of an NBA job in the D-League. It was a thirty second encounter, so I promise I’m not going to make too much of it, only to say that seeing a 25-year NBA head coach’s eyes light up when asked about his son was something remarkable and memorable for me. He also could have given me a two word answer and moved on, but he was gracious, considerate, and polite.

The article above is about Karl, but it’s also about something else. It’s about cancer. You probably know someone who’s had it. My mom has had it. She was diagnosed almost a year ago with breast cancer. The day I found out I felt like I was walking around after a bomb had fallen. I was in shock. I went to the grocery store and stared at a cereal box for about five minutes before a lady asked me if I was okay. Trying to understand that fear is something I’ll never forget. It’s so big, so enormous. Death can take a lot of forms: quick and threshing, soft and painless, sudden and cruel. But to me, cancer just seemed like this massive thing against which I could not begin to understand its enormity, only the extreme likelihood of it crushing me.  And I wasn’t even the one that had it.

Luckily, my mom is quite the scrapper, my father the vigilant husband obsessed with doctor’s appointments, and my family not one of the millions that face each day without health insurance. She was supported, educated, and determined. More than anything she was brave in a way I could not understand or expect. It was, if you only look at the basic facts, not a big deal. Got cancer,got treatment, beat it, and a year later, went to the beach.

But the shadow the diagnosis left remains with me, and it left a mark on my mother as well, long after the scars have faded. For her, survival is a badge of pride that comes with a responsibility: to share with others so they will understand that the fight isn’t over before they ring the bell. For me, it was a window into the fragility of our health as beings, and a reminder to hold on to those moments that matter. Writing that does in fact cause the gag reflex it’s likely causing in you, but some cliches seem to gain more relevance as you get older. (Note: “Hand down, man down” does not.)

You’ve likely had your own experience, your own brush with this thing that takes, shapes, and ruins so many lives. But no matter what your experiences are, please read Reilly’s segment with George Karl. Karl could have hid away during his treatment. God knows I would have. But he’s stronger than that. Not only is he trying to work in one of the most difficult jobs possible before you start to consider the drain on his health, but he’s allowing people access, so they can see, so they can be inspired, so that maybe changes will come as a result of understanding what he’s going through.

It’s difficult to not get emotional when you see TNT or ESPN footage of players coming to hug Karl, to shake his hand, to give him encouragement. It’s difficult for me not to remember the cards and letters sent to my mom, and the phone calls from friends to me when word got around. It’s a uniquely human experience that can work to bind us, and if you want basketball relevance, it could be a wild card that binds the Nuggets together in a way no other team has. Ubuntu’s got nothing on a cancer survivor.

And at the end of the day, when Karl beats this thing, and we’re back to writing snarky lines about his inability to effectively draw up a double-team on Kobe, we may forget about this ordeal. But if sharing his story makes an impact the way it should, that’s a bigger win than anything that can happen on the floor.

Please read the article and share it.

P.S. If you’re wondering if I totally used my mom’s cancer to con Paroxi-Wife into doing chores for me, I very much did so. And then paid the price.

Pre-Revisionist History

March 16, 2010 in by with 2 Comments

I will tell you a tale that may or may not be a prediction of what is about to happen to the Celtics. You decide……

The Celtics are one of the oldest teams playing in the NBA. One of their bigs is considered by many to be out of shape, overweight, and well past his prime. Many believe he’s tanking games, and accuse him of never trying, not defending, not doing his job, etc. Their cherished star forward is also aging, ailing and playing far below his own standard.

As the regular season winds down, the Cs are looking dangerously unready. They lose to bad teams. They look disinterested and dispirited. And they keep losing. They will no doubt end the season with an unhappy record of less than 50 games won, good for just 4th seed in the East. Most people, including their own fans, believe they&apos;ll be one and done in the playoffs, or at best, eliminated in the second round.

But the Celtics will wake up the day the playoffs begin. They will start playing with urgency and focus. They will start looking like the Celtics of old. They will FLIP THEIR SWITCH!

**********************************

Your decision? Will this, or will this not happen?

Are you done?

Good. Here is the answer:

It happened. To the 1968-69 Celtics, who, after finishing the regular season with a dismal record of 48-34, beat Jerry West and the heavily-favored Lakers in the 7th game of the 1969 Finals.

Note: The 2010 Celtics’ record will be better than 48-34.

:::::Anything is possible:::::

via Is this our season? – RedsArmy.com – The Voice Of Celtics Fans.

If the Celtics get rolled by the Bucks, or Bobcats in round one, then we’ll say we saw it the whole way through, and Celtics’ fans will be crushed.

If the Celtics make it out of round one, then get pillaged by Orlando or Cleveland, we’ll say we saw it the whole way through, and the Celtics’ fans will likely target a system of excuses, as is a fan’s right.

If the Celtics somehow figure out Orlando or Cleveland and make it to the ECF, then lose, we’ll say they showed more than what they did in the regular season, but the flaws were still evident early on, and Celtics fans will, again, target a system of excuses, as is a fan’s right.

If they make the Finals and lose, we’ll say they were as good as we thought they could be, better than how they looked, just not as good as LA. Celtics fans will take solace in losing to a “worthy” rival.

If they win the title, it will be the biggest “flipjob” in the history of the sport.

In a stark contrast to my usual eagerness to put the tombstone up before a conventional contender’s body is cold, I’m really second-guessing myself in regards to the Celtics. This sounds insane after they got “toyed with” as Russillo said on the B.S. Report by the Cavs, after looking human-to-bad for months, but a voice in the back of my head keeps bugging me. It keeps saying the same thing over and over again.

“This is too easy.”

If you remember last year, at this time, people weren’t talking about the Lakers. They were talking about the Cavs. Top seed, most wins, unstoppable, MVP-led Cleveland. So while to me it was obvious the Lakers were winning the title (which wasn’t exactly decoding pi), it wasn’t unanimous. But the Celtics are trickier. Most everyone outside of Boston and Tim Legler (who was talking about the Celtics’ late season additions of Robinson and Finley as the best in the league on ESPN radio last weekend, causing me to nearly swerve off the road) think the Celtics have blood in the water, and they ain’t the sharks.

But that’s just too easy, isn’t it? The constant losses to contenders, and the worst teams in the league, the talk of boredom which leads almost to reinforce their confidence and obliviousness to genuine problems, all of it is just too obvious.

Or am I overthinking it?

Wouldn’t dismissing a team with Kevin Garnett, Paul Pierce, Ray Allen, Rajon Rondo, and Kendrick Perkins be borderline disastrous? Wouldn’t ignoring their experience and knowledge of themselves be reprehensible? Wouldn’t constantly talking in rhetorical questions get really obnoxious (bit late for that, Matthew)?

I go back every thirty seconds, simply because the Celtics haven’t just been “kind of bad.” They were point blank outclassed against Cleveland. They never really threatened. When they pulled within 10, the Cavs just gave the ball to LeBron, he calmly drew free throws, and that was all. This in a game where the Celtics caught a break and the Cavs missed free throws like their jibblets were frozen solid.

Celtics fans have been reduced to turning to the ’69 team for comfort (which is appropriate, since that was when RayAllen and KG graduated high school -BA-DUM-DUM-DUM). We’re all writing them off. Someone is kidding themselves. And it drives me nuts that we’ve got to wait thirty days to find out who.

Monday Morning Compendium

March 15, 2010 in by with 1 Comment

It’s almost playoff time, which means I need to get my random thoughts bullet writing ass back in gear. And since I’m handling weekend duties over at ProBasketballTalk.com, I watched quite a bit of ball this weekend.

  • Let’s start with Tyreke Evans. I saw his line last night, and checked STR for the Reke-O-Meter. Evans has been on a rebounding tear, and now needs to average less than his current average in order to clear the mythical 20-5-5.  I’m a little shocked why this race has not gotten more attention. It’s a set of requirements that puts Evans in a group with Robertson, Jordan, and LeBron James, along with Charlie Scott. And Evans is not just within sight of it. He’s got a comfortable lead in assists (but no, really, he’s not a real point guard, yank-yank). Scoring is unlikely to be the issue. And he’s picked up his rebounding. This is something truly phenomenal, and he’s way ahead of his competitors for rookie of the year. I expected Evans to be good. I did not expect him to be this good.
  • In other stat-related news, guess who’s within range of another 50-40-90 season? Steve Nash, and it’s pretty comfortable. So is Nicolas Batum, but the kid missed too many games for it to be relevant. Nash, though, has been ridiculous . He’ll also be the oldest player to accomplish it since… himself, last year. An absolutely outstanding achievement.
  • Speaking of the Suns, anyone caught Amar’e lately? This is the close I’ve seen him look to his “proper self” pre-Shaq since Shaq arrived. If the playoffs started today the Suns would play Dallas, which would be basketball cocaine. Also, I don’t think the Suns are a good matchup for Utah at all. They Jazz are 2-0 versus the Suns, but the Suns’ unstable style of play could cause them fits. However, it should be noted that Utah has a ridiculously easy stretch coming up, with six of their next ten against lottery teams, and the Hornets (probably lottery) and Toronto (possible lottery) thrown in. Their “tough game” from now till April is Boston. Insert joke here.
  • Speaking of Boston, loved Freek’s work on the Boston-Cleveland game yesterday:
  • Paroxi-wife asked me what I thought about Jamison fitting in, and I said I think it’s actually working great, despite his shooting percentages. He’s doing what he needs to do, which is spread the floor and then crash inside. The number of at-rim shots he had lip out yesterday was I think four. If Boston wants to keep leaving him open on the perimeter, that’s not a good idea either.
  • On the C’s, when did this team stop closing out on the perimeter? We’re not talking a half-ass effort, we’re talking them being a step behind to where they’re not even trying because they know they can’t get there. It’s a significant problem. The Magic have taught teams that if they make the extra pass, they’re going to get an open three. And that’s a high percentage look for a lot of teams in the playoffs.
  • What’s worse for the Celtics is they were barraged for 40 minutes by the other Cavs, and when they finally started to clamp down, James took over and just drove relentlessly, picking up foul after foul. There was nothing they could do. At one point Perkins was trying to check James. PERKINS. AT MID-RANGE. TRYING TO CHECK. LE.BRON. And every time the Celtics would hit a three to pull the lead to ten, there’d go LeBron, right to the rim, feasting on old legs with his fresh ones. He didn’t have to carry that team for 40 minutes, which meant he could for the final eight. Terrifying.
  • The Thunder keep blowing my mind with their defense. The offense I expect. Russell Westbrook is capable of 30 and 11. He’s just that good. Durant is a known quantity and the rest of the team is solid-to-good. But the defense? For guys that young to be playing with that kind of dedication? They swarm to the ball on penetration, and recover as fast as any team, because of those fresh legs. They’re rarely caught in mismatches, and they surge so strong, it’s like waves coming over the bow. The inexperience makes them a favorable first-round matchup, but the talent and execution make you think twice.
  • I’ve watched four Nets games this week. That’s a lot for one of the “worst” teams in history. I’ve been saying it, and I will continue to say it. They are just not that bad. Incomplete? Definitely. Young? Definitely? Terrible bench? Absolutely. But there is a lot of legit talent on that team, including Courtney Lee, who’s going to be a serviceable starting small guard for years, at a position that’s tough to find talent you can reasonably pay. And Terrence Williams is playing in a relevant, meaningful way for an irrelevant, meaningless team.
  • I can’t watch the Raptors anymore. I just can’t do it. Can’t watch that defense any longer. They and the Warriors have gotten me to the point it makes me physically sick to watch them play basketball, which is sad, because I like a lot of their talent.
  • It’s really early after a fairly impressive win streak, but I just want to say, I can already see the same late-season cracks in the Utah pavement that I saw last year. They’ve been better this year than they were last year, but I still wanted to get this in writing that I’m seeing some fault lines developing.

The Once And Future King

March 11, 2010 in by with 1 Comment

Believe it or not, Tyreke Evans doesn’t clamor for this kind of attention.

In fact, all the attention of the rally for Evans to be Rookie of the Year tonight had Evans feeling a bit embarrassed.

That’s right: Embarrassed.

“A little bit,” Evans conceded. “They had the NBA All Stars up there (on the jumbotron) talking about my game. I was trying not to let it get to me.”

Evans, of course, turned in a 19 point, 10 rebound, 10 assist effort on a night in which so much attention was devoted to him. He kept the game ball, too.

It would seem easy for one to be a bit conceited with 5,000 cutouts of his face throughout the stands.

But that’s not Evans’ personality. And he was ready for the ribbing he took from his teammates.

“It looked pretty ugly,” said forward Carl Landry with a laugh.

via Kings Blog and Q&A: Postgame reaction: Evans doesn’t bask in attention.

Evans’ triple-double is going to get overturned most likely within the next 24 hours, which is both fair once I saw the replay, and sad, because as Ziller pointed out in a FanHouse thread, he would have snagged it most likely anyway. I mean, it is the Raps we’re talking about.

I’m still having a hard time finding any way you can argue that any other player is rookie of the year. Curry’s a nice player. He’ll be having hot offensive nights while Golden State wins 30 games a year for the next half-decade.  But Evans has a unique ability to not only generate ridiculous numbers, but to have those numbers be critical to the team. That, however, is probably a subjective assessment that would shift depending on if you’re on Team Reke or Team ThinnySkins.

I can’t help but feel the Kings are on the right path, even with as few wins as they have. There are teams whose rosters are so disparagingly flawed that even wins feel like losses. The Indiana Pacers and Philadelphia Sixers come to mind. And there are teams that can legitimately look at their roster and say they’re getting better, and that they have the pieces together to improve each year. The Kings are like that. Evans’ rookie season matters, because he’s going to matter in the NBA context over the next five years. Curry? Curry’s going to continue to barrage from the arc, and make passes in an offense-happy system, and play hard and impressively and probably not learn anything he needs to about defense. That’s not his fault, that’s just who drafted him.

But Evans’ season feels like the chapter of something important, with gravitas, while Curry’s is like a well-formed poem in a student literary magazine. There’s talent there, but it’s still going to end up in the attic.

(Now Curry will drop 50 on the Blazers tonight or something. Book it.)

Breaking News From The Department Of The Grizzlies Making Me Look Like A Moron Again

March 11, 2010 in by with 1 Comment

If anybody should be complemented, though, it’s Hasheem Thabeet. In his second game after returning from the D-League (he DNP-CD’d in the first), Thabeet was practically the Grizzlies 6th man. He saw 26 minutes of court time and, even though his counting stats weren’t impressive, had a +25 for the game for a reason. ‘Our Favorite Mistake” was playing solid defense and offense, using his length to change shots and tip boards.

via What Fight?: Grizzlies Hammer Boston Celtics – Straight Outta Vancouver.

I don’t know what happened in Dakota, but it sure as hell worked.

Hasheem Thabeet, who I have (un)lovingly referred to on a consistent basis as “The Pogostick” was an infinitely better player last night than I’ve seen him be the entire season. And it has nothing to do with the 3-5 shooting for seven points and 6 boards.

Thabeet, for the first time I’ve seen this season, looked like he knew where he should be. His spacing was right. His hands were ready. Marc Gasol murdered the Celtics with the extra pass to Thabeet on several possessions. He was in position for rebounds.

HE CUT OFF THE BASELINE.

It’s these little things that make me jump out of my chair,  now. And seeing Thabeet smartly slide to the edge and deter the Celtics’ penetration, forcing a reset was a big moment. Because before, Thabeet was waiting to make sure he didn’t lose his man, and arriving too late ,then picking up a foul.

His weakside defense, his man-post defense, the whole shebang. The only thing he didn’t do was follow Sheed out to the arc. And I don’t care about that because Sheed’s more than welcome to bomb it away as long as the Grizzlies have a better than 1.5:1 rebound ratio advantage.

I didn’t think there was anything Thabeet could pick up in a week and a half in the D-League. But whatever it was he did while it was down there, it resulted in the best game I’ve seen from him as a professional. Unworthy of a second overall pick? Surely. But a phenomenally solid effort for a defensive cog.

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