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Morning Bell – 2.13.2009

Things

Quick hitting analysis today.  It’s the All Star break after all.

- Why does Tyrus Thomas goaltend so much?  I couldn’t find a goaltending stat anywhere, and I’m not really sure how it could be calculated, but I’m guessing he AVERAGES two goaltends a game.  That’s four free points.   He had two in the first quarter last night, and if you’ll recall, the Bulls lost by 2.

- I’m not entirely certain why Thabo Sefolosha is the inbounds guy on the final offensive Bulls play.  I’m also not entirely certain why Del Negro didn’t actually call an inbounds play. 

- A problem that I see with the TrailBlazers is their inability to play different styles.  They looked out of sorts all night against the Warriors.  Part of that is because they play Oden and Pryzbilla heavy minutes, which kills their transition game.  Part of it is McMillan’s insistence on setting up a halfcourt offense and working the shot clock (nearly 20% of their shots come with 3 seconds of less).  But a big part of it is that they get a ton of their identity from Brandon Roy.  Roy is a very good player, but he monopolizes a bunch of their possessions by dribbling and dribbling and dribbling until something opens up.  I think Shoals said it, but he’s the sneakiest ballhog in the league.

- Enjoy the All Star game and take your lady out for a nice bowl of porridge.  No Morning Bell Monday, I’ll be on a boat.

Morning Bell – 2.12.2009

Things About the Lakers/Jazz Game

1. The Jazz scored more points than the Lakers.

2. The Lakers scored less points than the Jazz.

3. The Jazz beat the Lakers.

4. The Lakers lost to the Jazz.

Still not caving.

Things About the Rookie of the Year Race

Lately I’ve suspected that OJ Mayo had passed Derrick Rose statistically.  Thankfully, these fears are unfounded, as Mayo only surpasses Rose in scoring.  Howevsies, this might prove detrimental as voters notoriously care way too much about scoring.  Anecdotally, Rose is better, while also playing a more important role for a better team.  I’d still guess that Rose is the favorite for ROY, but if Mayo keeps hitting game winners, things could change.

Random Things That I Need Help Answering

Is it time to start taking Charlotte seriously as a possible playoff team?  They’re only 3.5 games back with New York struggling and Milwaukee banged up.  The Bobcats, Bulls, and Nets seem to be gunning for that number 8 spot, meaning that I may have to end my blognership with Matt Moore.

Are we done caring about the Knicks?  They’ve lost 6 in a row, including games to the Warriors and Clippers.  It was fun while it lasted.  SHOCKINGLY, relying on Tim Thomas and  Al Harrington didn’t exactly pan out.

Why did Chris Paul play against Boston last night?  He’s clearly not 100%, so why not sit out and rest the groin over All-Star weekend?  That team without Paul is mediocre and it’s seeming more and more likely that the 8th seed in the West is going to the healthiest team.

These Things Have a Tendency to Work Themselves Out

I’ve been in a bad mood all week.  It’s like there was a dark cloud hanging over me, but I couldn’t quite put my finger on it.

Today, it hit me.  It was the Mo Williams snub.

I mean, he really deserves it.  Are there really that many more deserving point guards?  Mo’s done a lot for his team this season, and his ability to ‘get all of his teammates off’ is pretty special considering the marginal talent around him.  LeBron’s alright, but Sasha?  Wally?  Ben?  Are you kidding me?  The league needed to correct its mistake, and if an injury is the vehicle that allows them to do that, then good riddance.

Wait…we’re talking about the same thing, right?

PLAYSTATION SKILLS CHALLENGE FO LIFE!

Paroxi-Wife Wednesdays!

Since Matt rarely posts my funniest comments or starts the movements I tell him he should, I decided to take matters into my own hands and abuse my admin log-in that was originally intended for my use as an editor.  Thus you are now graced with Paroxi-Wife Wednesdays, a column which I will use to shamelessly pontificate on players and teams in all my non-expert glory.  But who needs to be an expert when you’re hot?  I think Erin Andrews has already answered this question for all of us.

First Matter of Business

O.J. Mayo.  People need to stop referring to him as “O.J.” and take up the nickname I thought of during the draft: “OJAM.”  The reasoning for this is simple.  His name is actually Ovinton J’Anthony Mayo. So, if you do the math on his true intials, they are O.J.A. and NOT O.J.  Therefore, we should all call him “OJAM” which is a helluva lot more fun to say, and let’s face it, the name O.J. ain’t what it used to be after that other guy.  Long live OJAM! (The name tends to lend itself to exclamation marks.  This may or may not work in its favor.)

Random Observations

Also, I think the New Jersey Nets are boring.  I feel no need to back up this statement, as I know nothing about them.  I just think they sound boring.

If you want to get a really dirty look from your significant other this weekend, just wait until they say, “I’m SO pumped about the HORSE contest.”  Then respond, “You mean the GEICO contest?” and you won’t hear another word about All-Star weekend for at least an hour.

Pao Gasol is not attractive.  Please stop zooming in on him after baskets.

I can’t watch Chicago games without thinking of that scene from Scrubs:

I really wish Joakim Noah would do the same thing to all of his hair.  He looks like an asshat.

I’ve said it before, but it’s still true: I like LeBron a lot more since he started making funny commercials.  I appreciate it when people know how to laugh at themselves.  Also, I like Cyndi Lauper too.  But maybe I’m just jones’ing for the arms since I’m boycotting Baron Davis this season, as I’m still mad about his stupidity.  Don’t mess with me; I hold a grudge.

Hard Truths

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Thin mustaches on white guys make them look creepy.  I don’t advise going this route. Hinrich, I’m looking at you.  Either commit or shave.  And while we’re on facial hair, Dwight Howard, you look dumb with those two cottonball-shaped tufts on either end of your chin.

The neck? Not the best place for a tattoo.  And I’m a tattoo girl!  I think they’re hot! But yeah, you need to be out of room on your chest, arms, back and ankles before you go this route, and even then it’s highly questionable unless you have a lot of high-collared shirts.

::

And that’s all the gems I’ve got for you today, kids, but I’m sure after being subjected to a weekend of All-Star non-action and speculation on exactly what sexual favors Steve Kerr is holding out for before he agrees to trade Stat, I’ll have a lot more for you.

Morning Bell – 2.11.2009

Things Gleaned from the Bulls/Pistons Game

a) There were many complaints from the Ball Don’t Lie readers that Derrick Rose wasn’t consistently attacking the basket during the first three quarters.  This has been the case with Rose for quite some time.   He hangs around the perimeter, choosing his spots until the fourth quarter, and then he goes to the hoop with abandon.  It’s similar to Chris Paul’s near disdain for the first 36 minutes of a game, and it provides a few benefits.

First and foremost is that it saves Rose’s legs for the final period.  He’s fast to begin with (duh), but in fourth quarters, Rose seems a step ahead of everyone on the court.   This allows him to get to the rim on fast breaks and explode around screens, something that happened time and again against the Pistons.  Equally as important is the long-term benefit to Rose’s game.  By picking and choosing when he wants to attack, Rose can develop a jump shot.  Look at his last ten games (right) compared to his season shooting (left):

While he’s still no Jason Kapono, he’s also not Rajon Rondo.  Last night, he shot 7-11 on jumpers, which would seem to indicate that he can still be effective when not attacking the basket.  It can be a little frustrating and confusing during the times when he’s not obsessed with getting to the rim, but if he can get a solid jumper and save himself from the beating he’ll take, it’ll just make him a better player.

b) Vinnie Del Negro played Tyrus Thomas and Joakim Noah big minutes last night!  And they produced!  Thanks, Barack Obama for changing everything.

But seriously, Tyrus went for 22 and 10, three steals and a block (and 5 turnovers L). Noah had 12 and 16 (!), two steals and a block (and NO turnovers (!)).  It only took 35 games, but Del Negro is finally realizing that these guys can be players.  Don’t let Vinnie off the hot seat just yet.  He still played Nocioni the entire fourth quarter

Things About The Lakers/Thunder Game

Yeah, right.  I’m not caving.

Thing About the LeBron/Danny Granger Incident

I imagine LeBron is going to be lambasted for leaving the court so quickly after last night’s game.  And for complaining about his foul.  Rightly so, I’d say.  You can’t expect to get the call on offense, then not get called for the same thing on defense.  But let’s remember he’s 24.  This past year, I got kicked out of a men’s league game for throwing the ball at a guy. 

And the 4th Member of the GEICO Tournament is…

Rob has started a lobbying campaign to get J.R. Smith in the Dunk Contest. Well, consider this my official campaign to add one more person to the already impressive field for the GEICO (man I love the sound of that) competition. But we need some transcendant, someone powerfully creative and unpredictable.

Someone with so much imagination that, much like KG claims, “ANYTHING IS POSSIBLE!”

A man with such an alarmingly brilliant stroke, supreme creativity and the gusto to try shots that mere mortals like Durant, Johnson or Mayo could even comtemplate.

A man with ethereal hints of beauty even in the formative designs of his attempts.

A man, who has literally, had the Worst Possession Ever.

 

How in the world can the other 3 compete with this. Game Over. There is no way they can duplicate such brave feats, such marvelous execution, such specific failure. It is a suck that is so awful, it is exactly what is meant to be. Missed jumper, pshaw I say. Try and duplicate that Kevin, Joe and O. J., I dare you.

A Trade to Satisfy Us All

Last night Moore and I were talking at length about possible Amare trades, since the consensus is that it WILL happen. It’s a topic that requires plenty of spirited debate and will have the greatest impact on the second half of the season, regardless were STAT lands. For what it’s worth, there are a few options that could ignite an entire arms race in the league (We’re watching you like lustful hawks Cleveland and Detroit), while others would just make us sad (most anywhere out West). 

However, I was without internet access last night (come on Obama, where is universal broadband at?) and Moore was kind enough to alert me about the new post over at The Dreamshake. It seems that GrungeDave – a long time friend of ours – is feeling about the same with his Rockets as I am with the Suns. When I say “about the same,” I mean he is clearly near needs medication, while I, on the other hand, have accepted the impending doom of Kerr’s management. I even mentioned to Moore that I would just have more respect for the guy and offer him a big ole Tip O’ the Hat, if just came out as a Spurs plant, sold his house in Phoenix for #1, took a leak on the U. S. Airways Center and gave a presser where he just said “I told you so. Kerr Rules!” That is the point I have reached now. In my mind, that would make sense.

So, as our conversation turned into childlike delirium at all of the awful possible trades Kerr might be tempted to accept, we came across this one.

Nash and Amare for T-Mac, Artest and Rafer. I am not kidding.

And look, it even works in the Trade Machine!

Think about the amazing possibilities. Amare gets to play with a center who commands attention but doesn’t clog the lane. The Rockets remain a great defensive team. Battier, Landry and the rest can mash Amare’s liabilities in that are for the most part. Nash can run the show and improve their outside shooting. Adelman would have no choice but to just give up and say “Run, run like fat kids trailing an ice cream truck.” And it could work… not to mention, save GrunveDave’s sanity.

But that isn’t even the best part. T-Mac is sure to die from heat exhaustion within days of arriving permanently in Phoenix. Great news for Rockets/Suns/Doctors/General NBA Fans alike. Rafer can now get a good night’s rest knowing he is clearly out of The Dreamshake crosshairs. Heck, even he can lob the ball down to Shaq and hang out on the perimeter jacking up threes. And, of course, we all know Artest would wind up binging on peyote, cartwheeling through the desert and starting his own snake egg farm. Delicious!

Such a wonderful trade would bring sweet solace to all those Rocket fans and the final, necessary kiss of death to the Kerr lead Suns. Blow it all up and start again. And give us all something to smile about.

 

Update: Links were wonky earlier. Should be fixed. Enjoy.

Morning Bell – 2.10.2009

Thing to Start With

I didn’t see a single minute of basketball yesterday.  I had to chaperone a winter crowning at a high school, obviously.  But that doesn’t mean we don’t have anything to talk about.

Thing to Address

This comment was pretty well thought out.  It questioned my theory that the Lakers are vulnerable to a strong inside attack, and made me think.  Let’s delve in to that.

First, let’s look at Minnesota, Toronto, and Portland.  These are obviously not championship caliber teams, and therefore can’t really matchup with the Lakers.  Hence, their inside games won’t really affect the outcome.  That’s easy to agree upon, right?  I mean, the Lakers had a big man score 20 against them in 4 out of 6 of those games and still won, so obviously those teams just aren’t good enough to beat the Lakers, regardless of the strength of their inside game.  Moving on.

Next we’ll look at Houston and Phoenix, good teams that might be able to win a playoff series.  For starters, one of the Phoenix games could be ignored as Shaq did not play.  However, in the game Shaq didn’t play, Amar’e Stoudemire went for 21 and 11.  In the game Shaq did play in, he, Amar’e, and Boris Diaw were all in double digits.  Houston, on the other hand, has seen Yao Ming held in check during their two matchups with the Lakers.  Well, kind of.  He went for 12 and 8 their first matchup (in 23 minutes) and 19 and 17 in their second.  Of course, Carl Landry had 12 and 6 during the first game and 20 and 8 the second game.

This leaves Boston, Cleveland, and San Antonio.  Boston is hard to make a case for being an “inside” team, as their main big man (Kevin Garnett) shoots 72% jumpers and their other post players are Kendrick Perkins and Big Baby.  Cleveland features players such as Ben Wallace and Anderson Varejao playing large minutes at post spots, negating that position’s offensive production.  Yes, Zydrunas Ilgauskas is a good scorer, but as stated in the comment, he’s best when shooting jump shots.  The LeBron as inside threat is a fallacy.  Yes, he gets to the rim better than any other player, but this isn’t a true “inside game.”  When the Cavs need a basket, they don’t go to LeBron in the post.  They get him the ball outside and let him create.  You wouldn’t call Allen Iverson an inside threat just because he gets to the basket.  Not to mention, 61% of LeBron’s shots are jumpers.  San Antonio, as mentioned, has beaten the Lakers.  In that game, Tim Duncan scored 20 and had 10 rebounds.  In the game the Lakers won, he had 15 and 8.

Now, given all this evidence (along with two losses to Orlando where Dwight Howard had 18 and 12, then 25 and 20), I think it’s fairly easy to conclude that the Lakers do struggle with teams that have talented inside players.  However, for a team to beat the Lakers, they have to have more than just an inside threat.  They have to be surrounded by other players who are going to contribute effectively, not Wally Szczerbiak and Jamario Moon.  Orlando has that.  They have a guy in Howard who can punish the Lakers inside, and then they have Turkoglu and Lewis outside to make the Lakers pay for doubling down.  As much as I like Pau (he’s my favorite player in the League), he can easily be overwhelmed physically.  That’s why the loss of Bynum hurts so much.  He too is prone to being manhandled inside, but he’s still a pretty decent defender.  But the biggest problem is that his loss puts a bigger burden on Odom and Walton to be tough inside defenders, which isn’t their specialty.  Finally, the chance that the Lakers and Magic meet again this year is slim, but if they do, it’s for a title.  That doesn’t necessarily bode well for Los Angeles.

Morning Bell – 2.09.2009

One Quick Thing About the Lakers/Cavaliers Game

It’s obvious that the Lakers are the best team in the league right now, and that’s without Bynum.  Sweeps over the Cavs and Celtics prove that beyond a shadow of a doubt.  Of course, their kryptonite is Orlando.  A very strong inside attack is a problem for the Lakers, but you knew that.

Thing I’ve Been Wrestling with Since Last Night

Is it worse for the Hornets that they can barely beat Minnesota when they don’t have Chris Paul?  Or is it worse for Minnesota can’t beat the Hornets even though they didn’t have Chris Paul?

My first thought was, “geez, the Hornets supporting cast is barely better than the Timberwolves.”  But then I thought, “geez, the Timberwolves aren’t good if they can’t beat this bad of a team.”  Then I thought, “geez, why do you think the word ‘geez’ so much?”  My answer: it’s worse for the Hornets since they’re supposed to be contenders.

Thing I Need Your Opinion On

I had a men’s league game yesterday.  The team we played was talking trash the whole time, and I just went about my Pau Gasolish business.  We were up by 15 with about 40 seconds left when I got fouled for some reason.  I went to the free throw line and sunk my first one.  For the second one I did this:

[flash http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M5nKcN8Vo8Q]

Most of the crowd was laughing, WHICH WAS THE POINT.  But, I definitely heard the other team saying, “how’s he gonna be disrespecting us looking like Luke Walton’s dad?” 

Here’s where I need help; was this “disrespectful?”  In my mind, I’m taking the piss out of people caring so much about a men’s league, plus they’d been chippy the whole game.  I’m not too worried about it, but I’d like a ruling.

Thing That Makes My Wife Awesome

While discussing Valentine’s Day plans (DON’T FORGET) she said, “let’s do something during the day so we can be back for the Dunk Contest.”

Coming Soon To A Rumor Forum Near You