Above is Smush Parker – “good NYC point guard” getting hot in his hot bed
WWL has yet another useless application up on its website. In an effort to leave you marginally informed about average to inadequate basketball “hotbed talent” throughout the U.S.A., the Bristol boys have underwhelmed yet again. They think they are being informative. I think they are being funny.
Go to this link and run your mouse over the New York City tab. Read the first sentence. The jokes writes itself.
Try not to disturb others with your guffaws. Wipe away your tears. Enjoy the fact that you are smarter and more informed than the WWL programmers.
Your bi-weekly checkup on the offseason, featuring news, notes, opinions, rantings, and the all important Offseason Daily Survival Guide…
*************************************************************************************** Why can’t Tyronn Lue get a gig?
Look, I know he’s got problems and he’s not a star. I get that. And he’s 31. I get that. But seriously, he has a positive assist to turnover ratio, he understands his role, he doesn’t take too many shots like your typical journeyman guard, and he’s willing to sign for the minimum. This is not rocket science. **************************************************************************************** Who is likely to be the NBA’s next Brett Favre?
With the Packer QB constantly changing his freaking mind about whether he’s done or not, I started wondering what player was going to end up as the next Favre, constantly changing his mind, continuing to play even though he’s a shell of what he once was (Favre played well last season, but let’s face it, an awesome defense and a solid running game was what got them as far as they went). Here’s the list.
1. Shaquille O’Neal: Aren’t we already to where we were two years ago with Favre, here? It’s time. It’s just time. And yet Phoenix will keep paying the Big Shaqtus the GNP of a small nation until he finally decides to give it up. But can’t you just see him coming back and signing with the Lakers or someone afterwards? This has to be a lock.
2. Jason Kidd: You see this happening, don’t you? Kidd seems oblivious to the fact that he’s no longer the top point guard in the league, and has the obsession with winning to pair with it. His career seems to drag on, as he goes from team to team, each one supposedly the “final, right fit” for his talents, while his shooting percentage plummets and his defense gets more and more suspect against younger point guards. I can see him refusing to give it up and pulling a Gary Payton somewhere along the way.
3. Allen Iverson: Loved by many, despised passionately by a select few. Known for trying to do too much. Constantly clashing with management. While Favre was quiet for many years, Iverson’s always a powder keg. And no one will tell him when it’s his turn to hang up the laces.
4. Kevin Garnett: The lovable idol who always wants to win. Incomporable. Enigmatic. If it werent’ for Brett’s happy go lucky demeanor, this would fit. With the championship, though, I think that’s been assuaged. ************************************************************************************* Odom to the Heat?
Oh, dear, Lord, Big Baby Jesus, please, please make this happen. Please send Odom back to the Heat.
I have a special place in my heart for that 2003-2004 Heat squad. Dwyane Wade who basically walked into the NBA circus arena in the playoffs and started kicking the crap out of lions and tigers and blowing sh*t up. Odom sprinting down the floor. Butler who was actually very good that season. Haslem off the bench. Eddie Jones. Rafer Alston. That squad was without borders. You have expected them to run off the court and into the stands. They were the basketball version of Jumanji. And they can be again.
Without Shaq, with a healthy (cross fingers) Wade, with Beasley, with Odom, Haslem and Chalmers, you have the capacity for something unexpected. Marion is the better player, but returning Odom to the Wild could make him lovable again. He’s not lovable in LA. It’s nothing to do with LA. It’s just that he’s sad. The expectations are so high on him, constantly, and he can’t be the disciplined professional assassin Jackson needs him to be. But to be in Miami, back with Wade, back to spasmodic outbursts and not giving a damn, that’s the Odom you can love.
It makes sense for the Lakers, too. I don’t even mind how absurdly unfair that would be, to have Marion, Gasol, and Bynum, because at this point, we’re just splitting hairs with how good the Lakers will be next year with the conceptual Bynum. So this could conceivably happen.
Miami knows it’s not resigning Marion next year. It’s not happening. Get Odom, have some fun, you can probably resign him for a reasonable amount and if not, you’ve got the same amount of cap room.
We’ll never what could have happened if Riley didn’t get all “Oooh, I want to win a championship now” on us, but at least we can relive a few moments and see what a three-headed Odom-Wade-Beasley monster looks like. ************************************************************************************* Things to be wary of in the Summer League games.
A. Turnovers: If you can’t handle perimeter defense from a guy who gets paid in Euros, you probably can’t handle Deron Williams.
B. Shot Selection: Warning. If your guy is just out there shooting whenever he gets the opportunity? That’s a bad sign. This isn’t a “Well, he can shoot, he’s the best player” sort of deal. He needs to show that he’s not going to try and play the hero. That’s how you end up going Durant and making our eyes bleed for six months, and that’s IF you get that kind of playing time.
C. Focus: You have to watch off the ball. For example. DeAndre Jordan is a beast. A physical beast. He’s like the Cloverfield monster. He could tear down the Brooklyn Bridge. But on several positions, he ends up not knowing where he is on the court. He doesn’t know where he is, his man is, the ball is, nothing. Sometimes guys just run to the spot they usually do and stand there, boggled as some guy takes away their position entirely. ************************************************************************************* Keyon Dooling needs to get over himself. ************************************************************************************* Offseason Survival Guide.
Freerunning.
Why? Because then you and Manu will have something else in common. Detonated ankles.
We owe a lot to BallHype. Not only did it get us serious exposure during our fledgling months and introduce us to a ton of blogs that are the source of news for us, but it is a motivator. Every three days, I check BallHype to see where we stand. And if we’ve fallen, like we have currently, it motivates me to get back in the habit of posting and coming up with ideas. It’s a great motivational tactic, because we don’t have Yahoo! or ESPN, or SLAM’s readership, but this is an area where we can compete with them (I’m coming for you, Nelson).
So we tip our hat quite deeply to the ladies and gentlemen of that fine site, for they have been purchased, and will now no longer be considered bloggers. Because they’re actually making money. We all congratulate you. And will now begin hating you and starting vicious rumors behind your back. Congrats!
Jesus. Leitch is in New York Magazine, Ryne’s the online editor of SLAM, and BallHype got purchased. Sweet Mother of Christ, what’s a guy gotta do to sell out around here?
I like stats. They’re fun. They’re even fun to say.
Stats stats stats.
Unfortunately, I’m not as good with them as I want to be. And we want a numbers guy.
Hardwood Paroxysm is currently looking for a stats writer. If interested, please send an email to hardwoodparoxysm(at)gmail(dot)com. Qualified applicants can present
A. a reasonable knowledge of stats, especially pertaining to basketball B. no desire whatsoever to do anything meaningful with their time C. a hatred of Vince Carter.
Reel Rotations examines what your lineup would look like if it were comprised of characters from popular culture.
PG: Eliot Ness-Mr. Goody Goody Two Shoes has to run point. He’s the guy in charge. He directs everything. When the team loses, like when he busts into a completely legit business and busts them (“Let’s do some good!”), he takes the heat for it (sticking that clipping to the wall; you think Starbury ever does that?). When the team does something right, he gets everyone together for a picture. He listens to his teammates to find what works (“Tax evasion?”) and tries to keep communication open with the coach. Plus, he’s got great hands (especially when it coems to catching baby carriages mid-gunfight). And he’s probably the most valuable player on the team, if you don’t vomit when he opens his mouth. “The law’s the law” blah blah blah blah blah. Good God, if this guy was on my team, I’d be drunk all the time. Which means he probably played for the Warriors at some point. Wait, no, he’d probably object to Nellie’s disregard for fundamentals, the pansy.
Best resembles: Chris Paul
SG: Oscar Wallace- The little tax dude plays shooting guard. I know, I know, he’s not guarding Kobe. He’s a pure 2, entirely there for shooting. Besides, he’s too damn small to play any other position. Weasley little bastard has a flair for partying, too, as seen when he gulps the whiskey pouring from the bullethole on the bridge. So he can carry on that long standing tradition. He’s a little insecure about his own skills, but he can shoot the lights out when you piss him off. Of course, the moron gets on the elevator with the key witness and doesn’t have his gun drawn, so he’s not the brightest crayon in the box. Then again, those glasses were slammin’ at the time. And it was because of him that Capone got taken down, so you gotta hand it to the little guy. Injury issues might be a problem, however, on account of a nasty “got shot several times in an elevator and had blood used as fingerpaint” injury. He’s listed as day to day. Good news, he’ll still try harder than Vince Carter.
Best resembles: Juan Dixon
SF: George Stone (Giusseppe Petri)- Long, athletic, foreign. I smell wing! The resident badass on the Untouchables would definitely be terrific in transition, and he’s the best shooter on the club. Plays great defense (he pwned that bridge), and he’s not afraid to get his hands dirty. Attitude’s going to be a problem though, especially if you call him a wop, you stinking Irish pig. He will kick your ass so far up you’ll be able to taste your 1920s boxer briefs. Injury’s not a problem, though, as he manages not to get shot. He’s going to be the star of your team, though, so you better keep an eye on his ego. He does listen to authority, and knows how to give the media all the safe little soundbites (“to protect the property and citizenry of…”). Ness is going to get all the media attention, but you’re putting Stone on the posters.
Best resembles: Carmelo Anthony
PF: Jim Malone- You want to win this game? How far are you willing to go? You want to know how to get Kobe Bryant? He pulls out Odom, you pull a gun. He posterizes one of your guys? You send one of his back to Spain crying with his tail between his legs. That’s the Chicago way. Malone is your all around guy. Veteran leader. Knows how to bang the glass. Can still put one back hard when he wants to. Has sage advice for his teammates. Injury might be an issue, since not only is he older than dirt, but he’s got a nasty habit of getting shot a million f*cking times. Still, he’ll play through pain, but he tends to make a mess, and I’m not sure bleeding all over the floor will vibe with Stu Jackson. He’s also the guy who’s going to do the most little things to get the win for you. Here endeth the lesson.
Best resembles: Robert Horry.
C: Mike Dorsett- He’s the aging veteran who just did his part, made good with the team, and is now a starter. He doesn’t deserve it. He doesn’t try, he’s a waste of space, and a lot of the team you’re concernced he might be shaving points. He’s got some size to him, but he’s too old to do anything unless he’s cherry picking something. Keep your eye on him, because he’s likely to sell you out at the first chance he gets. Not exactly a team player, if you dig.
Best resembles: Zach Randolph
Bench: F- Al Capone: Such talent. Such a bad attitude. Loved by his team, hated by referees and coaches. A smart player with limited physical capabilities, but who makes up for it with a ruthless desire to win. Well liked in the locker room for his amiable personality and sharp wit. Short temper, and often in trouble with authorities. Tends to splurge with his contract money, and the IRS is always hanging out at the office. Not a tougher player on your team, but you can’t start him because you never know when he’ll be in trouble. Wants to be a global icon. Also, at no point should you ever, ever let him near a baseball bat. Does understand the team concept, though…
Best resembles: Rasheed Wallace/LeBron James/JR Smith
Overall: A strong team, but has some issues, most notably injury. A lot of infighting. While the starting five get along reasonably well, character flaws can create on-court tension. Trading Capone for Dick Tracy might be a good start.
Trey Kerby, AKA Goathair, is the the author of The Blowtorch, and a frequent contributor to Yahoo! Sports’ Ball Don’t Lie live-blogs. And now we’re very proud to introduce Trey as a contributing writer for Hardwood Paroxysm. We’re pretty much over the freakin’ moon to have Trey on board. Welcome him, study him, love him. Ladies and gentlemen, Trey Kerby.
Say what you want about Lil’ Wayne’s abilities, but dude knows a thing or two about blowing up. By my count (which is EXACT) he released 19 mixtapes and 864 songs in 2007, while also appearing as a guest on another 257 songs. Sure, his quality control gauge may need to be recalibrated but it’s a fact that Weezy’s constant output gave him opening power; power enough to sell more than a million records in the first week of The Carter III’s release.
Also of importance to my point (which I promise I’ll get to eventually) is the nature of these releases. The songs on these mixtapes are either based around samples that haven’t been cleared or, in most cases, simply Wayne spitting new verses over another artist’s song1. Since these albums don’t have the proper clearances, they cannot be released for sale. Instead, they’re released for free on the internet, and then picked up by white music critics who embarrassingly hail these tapes as the greatest rap release since Illmatic.
By now, if you haven’t gathered what I’m getting at, you might want to re-read those last two paragraphs because they’re important. This new business model that Wayne has perfected –but not pioneered2 – is quite similar to trajectory most bloggers would like to follow. For the sake of this hypothesis, we’ll be ignoring Lil’ Wayne’s teenage years at Cash Money. He sure seems to want to.
Getting Up
Just as in the rap world, the blogger generally starts out independently. Usually this is a Blogger or WordPress site, but some of the more tech-saavy3 will use MovableType. During this phase, the blogger is churning out material, just throwing stuff at the metaphorical wall to see what sticks. Similarly, beginning rappers will inundate you with requests to check out their HOT NEW TRACKZ on Myspace. Most of these songs are atrocious and soon enough, the rapper realizes they could be doing more productive things with their lives, such as commenting at the Fanhouse.
However, the actually talented rapper will get noticed. Maybe they’ll get a song featured on Nah Right. Maybe Catchdubs will hear that track and decide to include it in his latest set. Somehow, the hip-hop world will catch wind of someone who is doing something creative and doing it well. They might get put on guest spots on a bigger artist’s album cuts or a more high-profile release of a mixtape. In the same way, the blogger who innovates will also start to gain some notoriety. They’ll get a TrueHoop link or maybe a short Deadspin blurb and things can start happening.
Getting On
This is a crucial time for both the blogger and the rapper as people will be interested in what they’re doing next. If they offer another something that is intriguing, that’ll get the ball rolling even more. For the blogger, this can lead to guest posts on other sites, small advertising accounts, and a slightly increased daily readership. For the rapper, this means that their next release will get a small amount of hype from the New Music Cartel and greater downloads of their latest offering.
Unfortunately, if the rapper releases a sub-par track, then it’s back to square one. While this won’t squander all the momentum their initially hailed release had gathered, it does mean that their next production must be top notch. The internet is littered with rappers who’ve made a hot track, only to disappear. The same can be said for the blogger. Their increased traffic means that more people will check back, hoping for something fresh and interesting to read. However, if the blogger cannot deliver then they to will continue to toil in mediocrity until they can produce a string of quality posts.
If the blogger can consistently deliver first-class entries, they will have the opportunity to capitalize on their new-found success. For instance, their site could be incorporated in to networks such as SB Nation or MVN. They could be asked to contribute to larger, more successful blogs. And though the monetary reward for these opportunities may be marginal, the notoriety gained will benefit the blogger as they see their page views rise. This situation closely parallels that of a rapper who has recently released a successful full-length mixtape. Though the mixtape cannot explicitly provide revenue to the rapper, their increased buzz will gain them larger audiences, more prestigious guest spots, and possibly a record deal with a small label.
Getting Over
While the goodwill and increased stature that Getting On provides can be enough for some rappers/bloggers, many seek to expound on their influence. For the rapper, this means a full-length album funded by a major label. Though this may seem an at-first unattainable dream, after a string of successful mixtapes the major label deal is close at hand. Another form of Getting Over for the rapper is a lengthy tour. Not only will this allow for increased exposure, it is also the primary means of money in the music industry.
Since Getting Over boils down to the maximizing of current success by way of past success, there are a few different ways that the blogger can Get Over. Among these are book deals, full advertising for a personal site, or an editorship at a major web outlet. Essentially, when the blogger has reached the point where they generate significant income they have got Over.
Conclusion
While the processes of success in the music and blog worlds are dissimilar, the general gameplan for each are quite comparable. If the blogger/rapper can create interesting, original content consistently, there is a world of opportunity open to each of them. However, it is rare for either of them to do so; the challenges that each faces (a multitude of contemporaries, few openings, timing) are present in both fields. Nonetheless, the chances are there. You, like I, may not agree with Lil’ Wayne’s self-anointed “Best Rapper Alive†title, but it is wise to understand the path that he has taken to rise to the top.
Oh, and if you’re wondering; me writing for Matt is like Asher Roth hopping on a Killer Mike track.
My theory about Lil’ Wayne’s mixtapes are that they sound good because he picks the best beats around, then mimics the flow of the rapper that originally recorded the song. As you can see from his solo releases, he can’t pick a beat for his life.
Wale’s ascension to Next Big Thing status perfectly mirrors this outline. However, he has yet to release his major label debut. Nonetheless, his rise from independent to noticed to Mark Ronson’s label to Next Big Thing is a perfect parallel.
The following is a response to the very well put-together and as usual, excellent piece on why the Grizzlies should not trade one of their nineteen point guards. That it allows me to address something I’ve wanted to for a while is an especial convenience, and I thank Chip for taking a position supporting keeping Jaric and Lowry and Crittenton and Conley and Mayo all on roster.
Or…
Marko &Kyle &Javaris &Mike &OJ
It comes down, basically, to supply, demand, and relative value. For the purposes of this discussion, we’re going to ignore salaries and statistics. Both are heavily skewed by top-end outliers, and this is more of a topical discussion regardless.
************************************************************************************ When we look at this point in the league’s evolution, we notice there are two positions with more value than the others. Point guard and power-forward. The difference between the two is startling in terms of supply, demand, and relative value. According to Yahoo!, 62 players got a spell at point guard last season. 21 were considered “qualified leaders” statistically. Compare that with 8 qualified leaders for 21 power forwards. But the gap between the great point guards and everyone else is really wide. Of the final eight teams in the NBA playoffs, only Los Angeles, Cleveland, and Orlando were comparatively weak at point, LA compensated with depth. Cleveland and Orlando might have gone further if they had a better point guard. The value is at an even higher premium than usual with players like Chris Paul, Tony Parker and Deron Williams being difference makers on their teams. Lack of a competent guard makes you largely incapable of even being competitive (*cough, Clippers, cough, Minnesota*). Power Forward on the other hand is the kind of position that solidifies you at a level in areas you need it, in rebounding and interior defense.
The Grizzlies don’t have a superstar at point guard. Not yet, anyway. But what they have is considerable depth, and young depth at that. What they have that separates them from most of the prospective trade partners is a set of assets that other teams want, that they can’t get elsewhere.
I’m as much a fan of big, athletic wings as the next guy. But they are everywhere, and they’re all on the trading block half the time. In contrast to 1s and 4s, you can find 3s practically laying on sidewalks in this league. Richard Jefferson, traded. Carmelo Anthony, on the trade block this summer, supposedly. Lamar Odom, on the trade block. We’re not running out of 6-5+, athletic tweeners.
The Grizzlies obviously already have this, with Rudy Gay being a premier small forward. But they are woefully short at power forward. Hakim Warrick is good. But he’s 6-9, 219. He’s athletic and can get up and down the floor. But they need more size. Darko’s not someone they need to give up on yet, especially not with the acquisition of Marc Gasol.
Conversely, they have three players in Conley, Lowry, and Crittenton who’s combined value is probably at the highest it will be. While Conley is likely to work out well, especially with the improved strength and conditioning he’s shown in summer league, and Crittenton’s combo-guard ability to play at the 1 or 2, you’ve still got Lowry. Lowry is 22, talented, athletic, and has upside. Are you telling me a package of Lowry and Warrick isn’t valuable?
Sure, you can play it safe and stockpile. But when the value of these players go down, you’ve wasted an opportunity. What are you going to do with three mid-20s point guards who all have talent, but two of which haven’t gotten significant playing time in order to evaluate their worth, because you’re set at the position? Let me tell you how that ends. In free agency and that player making a lot of money and you getting nothing. Or worse, the player flames out and is never heard from again because he never got time.
Depth at point guard is a great asset if you’re a contender. But the Grizzlies need pieces. Everywhere. Scoring. Defense. Rebounding. They need draft picks. They need superstars. So holding onto a valuable commodity on the market just doesn’t make sense at this point.
Maximize your assets. Or ask the Knicks how that turns out.
Summer League thoughts are over at Ridiculous Upside. I’m going to Vegas to cover it next week, but I probably won’t have much content for HP with AOL and Ridiculous Upside. I do have a few ideas though. We’ll talk more next week, k?
Oh, and Skeets got an iPhone. He doesn’t own a cellphone his entire life, and then he gets an iPhone.
Adding a few new writers next week, and I have some thoughts on the Mayo-Love trade, along with some more offseason stuff. Enjoy the weekend, peeps.
So, usually I try and play it cool when I talk to a player. They’re just people. As my dad always used to say, “They put their pants on the same way you do. One leg at a time.”
This is not true for Anthony Randolph, by the way. He simply looks at his pants, and they are scared onto him. (30 points in Summer League debut! MVP! MVP!)
But the other day, I got to talk to the guy that got me into basketball.
When I first started watching basketball, there was a player that played with ferocious passion. He absolutely left everything on the floor. Not only did he have a wid offensive set, but he was tenacious on the boards. Best of all, though, was his defense. He dominated with blocks, and could terrify anyone who dared to step in the lane. The way he would yell and scream really struck a chord with me at a young age. I had four jerseys, a signed basketball, and a folder full of cards that I would not trade under any circumstances.
That player was Alonzo Mourning.
I have to say, it’s been a good week.
Here’s the interview. Thanks to FanHouse for the opportunity, and to my FanHouse mates for letting me do the interview.
There is some absolutely phenomenal stuff on the tubes this morning, and I have some thoughts on them. Buckle up.
We begin with the Spurs acquisition of Roger Mason and 48 Minutes of Hell’s thoughts on it. When I first read it, it didn’t click in my head. Roger Mason. Who? Oh. That Roger Mason. Then it sunk in. This is genius. They somehow managed to save money, and they got a shooter who is remarkably like the three wise men that could take off this year. He’s younger, a 40% 3 point shooter, can defend, and has a tough attitude. Jesus, the smarts in the front office of San Antonio just continues to amaze me.
A World Cup of semi-pro basketball? Genius. Too bad it’s with the amateur league that’s bombing. But I would love for D-League to send a representative squad and annihilate everyone. Also, a PBL versus ABA would be terrific.
I’ll go ahead and tell you right now. My favorite player heading into 2008-2009 is Raptors 2nd round rookie from Australia’s NBL, Nathan Jawai. I’m calling him Jawaibberwocky. Done. The only thing I can’t figure out is why he’s not playing on the Summer League squad.
3 Shades of Blue is still all buddy-buddy with Heisley. Sorry, Mr. Heisley. Too bad he keeps contradicting a lot of the things he says. We’ll come back to a conversation about young Mr. Mayo.
So here’s a question. Since everyone already hates them anyway, why not go ahead and call themthe Thundercats?The marketing dollars alone! There’s even rumored to be a movie coming out in a few years! Mega-bucks! Make it happen! Imagine the Bobcats versus the Thundercats. Is there anyway OKC loses that game on pride alone? I’m sorry, we have the Bobcats, the Knickerbockers, and the 76ers. This league already has some dumb names. Why not one ridiculous one?
How much money do the Hornets have to upgrade? For what it’s worth, Azabuike would be a great signing for them. Posey I’m not as sold on, and I don’t know what Rohan’s smoking over there, but Ricky Davis is a black hole of selfish play and would be a cancer on a beautiful muscled mass that is the Hornets. Amen.
Discussion about the Lakers financial situation, their cap space, and Ronny Turiaf. Lakers fans think they’ll match the offer sheet. Of course, fans always think their team will keep their guy. I don’t think they will, given that I think they like Ronny, don’t love him, and he doesn’t get enough minutes to justify that kind of dough. $17 mil over 4 years for a 20 minute guy? Phil’s leash is too short on him to justify that.
There’s a lot of talk in Utah about how long Deron’s going to resign for. This is reasonable, since it says he won’t resign for five, which he won’t. The big question for him is that he has to ask himself if he wants a championship. Because if he does, he’s going to need an opt-out. I think the Jazz will be a top five seed for four more years at least. But I can’t see this core ever getting to the Finals. Just can’t. Maybe they’ll make a blockbuster or Boozer will opt-out and take off which will clear them the space to get a guy that can be a real difference maker with Deron. But guys tend to get comfy in SLC. They win, the town loves them, they’re close to the West Coast, the ownership is supportive. We’ll see.
One of my goals for next season is to watch the Bucks more. Especially now that the big guy got piznayed.
Paul “never had plans to leave.” Interesting. I can’t stress how much I respect that kid for extending his contract in that city.
I’ve been spazzing about the Heat’s point guard situation. I may have been wrong. Chalmers looks mad legit.
Read more Blowtorch. Everyone needs to comment and let Trey know you want to hear what he has to say more. Oh, and yes, I meant “contender to make playoffs” not “title contender.” Because I’m not “a crack addict.”
I’m kind of falling in basketball love (non-scary, simple adoration of game) with Mike Beasley.
I was really kind of wrecked by this story. I don’t necessarily believe that your life is defined by a single moment, but rather by a series of big ones. However, it’s easy to see that kind of devolution from where I’m at. I’m not excusing anything. It’s just sad.
