This won’t be awkward at all (Nets at Magic, 7:00 PM EST):
If you watch this one, be prepared for a lot of talk about Dwight Howard’s future. Deron Williams is all but begging his front office through the media to get him more help at this point, and it couldn’t be more obvious whom he’s talking about. The Magic fans won’t be terribly appreciative of this spectacle, and neither will Williams’ teammates, who can’t possibly take his comments as anything but a diss, despite his best efforts to couch them in “My guys are great role players but I WANT MOAR STARZZZZZ!â€-type qualifiers. I guess there’s a basketball game between these teams tonight also, but don’t expect anyone to talk about it tomorrow. The Magic are pretty mediocre and totally uncertain about the future because of the Howard situation; the Nets are truly bad, and with Brook Lopez hurt, expect lengthy stretches of Johan Petro guarding Howard, which…yeah. Actually, here are the real winners of this game: Dwight Howard fantasy owners.
Too old? (Spurs at Rockets, 8:00 PM EST):
The Spurs have been written off all offseason as too old, too broken-down. But they’ve blown out the Clippers and Grizzlies, two teams everyone loves to mention with the contenders. The Spurs’ fortunes rest on their ability to manage the minutes of their aging stars, and the convincing nature of their two season-opening victories has allowed them to do just that. The Rockets match up pretty well against them, however, with Kyle Lowry facing off against Tony Parker, Kevin Martin vs. Manu Ginobili, and Luis Scola vs. Tim Duncan. This should be a good one.
The Hangover, Part III (Mavericks at Thunder, 8:00 PM EST, TNT):
The burning question of the young 2011-12 season: what the hell is going on with the Mavs? Some growing pains (or at least transition pains) were expected as the defending champs try to adjust to life without Tyson Chandler and with Lamar Odom. Odom hasn’t been good in Dallas’ first two games, but the blame can’t be placed on his shoulders. The team as a whole hasn’t just looked off, they’ve looked awful, and they’ve been rewarded for their efforts with two blowout losses at the hands of the Heat and Nuggets. Their quest to quell doubts about their ability to repeat doesn’t get any easier tonight. Yesterday’s (probably overblown) Durant-Westbrook altercation notwithstanding, the Thunder have played like the contenders everyone expected them to be. This game should tell us a lot.
Jimmer! (Oh, and Derrick Rose, I guess) (Bulls at Kings, 10:00 PM EST):
Speaking of playoff-condending teams that have looked a bit off coming into the season, the Bulls visit Sacramento and attempt to get back on track after a loss to the Warriors on Tuesday. The Kings are good—not “make the playoffs†good, but “they have some guys who are a pain for good teams to deal with†good. DeMarcus Cousins has impressed early, and the Bulls’ perimeter defense will be tested tonight by Marcus Thornton, Tyreke Evans, John Salmons, and most importantly, JIMMER!
Dre Day (Nuggets at Trail Blazers, 10:00 PM EST):
The only game on tonight’s docket between two undefeated teams. Blazers-Nuggets is usually a fun matchup regardless, but both teams have looked significantly better in the early going of the season than most people predicted. Two polarizing Blazers, Andre Miller and Rudy Fernandez, return to the Rose Garden tonight. New Blazers point guard Raymond Felton faces off against a Nuggets team rebuilding around the rest of the pieces he was traded there with. Also, Gerald Wallace.
Evil big markets (Knicks at Lakers, 10:30 PM EST, TNT):
Two prospective contenders, two of the markets most vilified over the five-month lockout, two sets of questions. The Lakers opened the season with close losses to the Bulls and Kings before blowing out a terrible Utah team; this is their fourth of five games without a suspended Andrew Bynum. The Knicks pulled out an opening-day win against the Celtics but were beaten pretty handily last night in Oakland. Neither team is particularly deep at the moment, which can only mean one thing: Troy Murphy! Mike Bibby! It’s the Knicks and Lakers on TNT!
70% of the games played tonight include at least one team playing one end or the other of a back-to-back. If an NBA season could have a signature, that is what the 2011-12 sprintathon would scrawl across programs and banners leaguewide when very confused children mistakenly asked a vague, nebulous concept of time for its autograph.
Kids are weird, yo. And so is scheduling a game for 6 PM Eastern.
Oh, Canada – and a country’s sense of holiday propriety (Pacers at Raptors, 6:00 PM EST)
No, that’s not a typo. Due to the holiday season, this game will tip an hour earlier than most do in their local time zones. Toronto comes in after a win over the Cavs – a team most expect to battle the Raptors for lordship over the bottom rung of the Eastern Conference. The results in that win were about as positive as one can expect from a one-game sample size against a poor opponent, though. The parts on the Raptors, for the first time in the recent past, seemed as if they could fit together into some sort of team-like structure, thanks in part to the framework put in place by new coach Dwane Casey. And the Pacers are a must-watch team in the early part of this season, if for no other reason than to see how their own pieces come together and whether new addition David West and the continued maturation of a young roster can build upon their sliver of success last season.
ALL OF THE BLOOD EVER IN EXISTENCE (Heat at Bobcats, 7:00 PM EST)
Make no mistake about it: Miami’s margin of victory so far this season should be substantially higher than the 9.5 point/game margin they’ve set so far. Neither of their games was anywhere near that close, but getting out to big leads allowed the Heat to rest their starters. During those stretches, teams made runs on the Miami bench, but that additional rest will serve the Heat well during this grueling season. Unfortunately for Charlotte, there’s a high likelihood that their starters will struggle to even keep up with the Miami bench, let alone LeBron James, Dwyane Wade and the world’s most polarizing dinosaur. Expect another blowout through three quarters, which oddly might offer one upside for Charlotte:
MORE BISMACK BIYOMBO.
Learning to (never) trust birds of prey (Wizards at Hawks, 7:30 PM EST)
Photo by foxxyz via Flickr
The Hawks were impressive last night in New Jersey. Of course, the flipside is that the Hawks were impressive last night in New Jersey. What seemed like a total team effort – Vlad Rad led all Hawks scorers with 17 points, and 6 Hawks scored in double figures – may instead be a by-product of an awful Nets team relying on Johan Petro to defend the post…and Johan Petro to catch passes from Deron Williams.* Conversely, the Wizards built a huge lead against those same Nets and watched it fade away. The collapse preceded comments by Andray Blatche that some interpreted as calling out his coach, comments that Wizards from top to bottom quickly shrugged off as meaningless at worst and indicative of Blatche’s desire to punish people in the paint at best.
With each team only one game into their schedules so far, deciphering which team will show up, on both sides of the ball, is anyone’s guess.
The same old different Eastern Conference (Cavaliers at Pistons, 7:30 PM EST)
A Cleveland rookie impressed observers during their loss to Toronto, but it wasn’t Kyrie Irving. Tristan Thompson, a pick derided by many draft aficionados, rebounded and shot the ball well in 17 minutes on the court, scoring 14 points and posting one of the few positive +/- lines for the Cavs. Irving will find his footing as he adjusts to the necessary reads for a point guard at the professional level, and Thompson developing into a solid scoring threat alongside him could make this Cleveland bunch a fun team to watch, especially if Anderson Varejao is healthy (and stays with the team). The Pistons, too, seem improved, but they could use Thompson’s dose of rebounding. A team that ranked 19th last season in ORR differential got smashed on the boards by Indiana, 36.7 ORR to 20.5. Both teams are young, so this game will have its unbearable stretches, but youth also lends itself to exciting plays.
A battle of elite point gua..whoops (Celtics at Hornets, 8:00 PM EST)
This one certainly looked fun when the schedule came out. Instead, we have a match-up between one of the oldest teams in the league and a team whose oldest player isn’t even 30 yet. The Celtics should pick up their first win of the season and join the Lakers in staving off an 0-3 start, but Eric Gordon and company aren’t going to make anything easy on anyone this year, as they showed in Phoenix Monday night.
Deja vu, electric-bear style (Thunder at Grizzlies, 8:00 EST PM, NBA TV)
The game of the night, from my perspective, is a rematch of last season’s Western Conference semifinals. Both teams brought back the core of their roster from last season, though the loss of Darrell Arthur for the season hurts Memphis fairly significantly. It’s somewhere between a flesh wound and a full-on amputation. On the bright side, Rudy Gay is finally healthy, and he was the lone bright spot for the Grizzlies in their defeat against San Antonio. Oklahoma City has looked the part of favorites to win the West; if Memphis plays like they did versus the Spurs, it could be a long night of Hardonic Nightmares in Tennessee.
Youth is wasted on the young – except in Los Angeles (Clippers at Spurs, 8:30 PM EST)
httpv://youtu.be/HZqR9g_Nm2s
Have fun, Tim Duncan.
Depth, Skill, and all that Jazz (Jazz at Nuggets, 9:00 PM EST)
Utah put on one of the worst displays of basketball I’ve ever seen last night, and that’s not hyperbole. The Nuggets, conversely, blew the defending champions (who, admittedly, have problems) out of the building in their season opener, causing fans of all faiths to question whether Dallas was that bad or Denver was that good.
The same question will be on the tip of everyone’s tongue tonight, as a young and developing Jazz team on the second night of a back-to-back faces the deepest team in the league. Hold onto you hats, Utahans – this one might hurt even more than last night.
Freedom isn’t free, but we can barter (76ers at Suns, 9:00 PM EST)
Suns fans are still reeling from their last second defeat at the hands of the Hornets in the season opener, while Philadelphia stormed back from 17 points down to lose on a last-second shot of their own. Both teams also had oft-criticized centers come out in a big way. Robin Lopez and Spencer Hawes left jaws agape – Lopez with a THIRTY-TWO POINT SEVEN PLAYER EFFICIENCY RATING on 21 points, a 13.5% TRB% and a 6.4% TOV%, and Hawes with a near triple-double. Neither performance is sustainable whatsoever, though improved performance from each player this year would go a long way toward respectability for their respective teams.
However, if these giants crash back to earth and both teams get off to slow starts, expect the “Free Andre Iguodala” and “Free Steve Nash” sentiment to spread like memetic wildfire. Tonight could be the second step down that road for one of these teams.
Defense? Qu’est-ce que c’est? (Knicks at Warriors, 10:30 PM EST, NBA TV)
This Knicks team is Carmelo’s now, but it’s much too soon to say that Amar’e is being marginalized. In fact, that dichotomy is the beauty of the New York roster; coach Mike D’Antoni has several avenues of attack on the offensive end at his disposal. Figuring out how best to use those moving parts will be the real test for the Knicks this year, and more balance between the two superstars will be necessary going forward, but this roster has the makings of an offensive beast, especially if Baron Davis can come back in a timely manner.
The Warriors, too, have multiple offensive weapons, though theirs reside in the backcourt. With the dearth of defense for which both teams are renown, this should be a high-scoring, electric game – as long as it doesn’t turn into a slop fest.
REASONS TO WATCH THE GAMES OF THE NATIONAL BASKETBALL ASSOCIATION TONIGHT:
Ain’t That a Shame
Charlotte at Indiana
Danny Granger v. Gerald Wallace would have been worth the price of admission alone, if Danny didn’t have to injure himself and spoil our fun. Even though the souring Granger and the soaring Wallace are currently headed in different directions, it’s still one of the premier offense-defense match-ups that the Eastern Conference has to offer. Plus, with the way Gerald’s been rebounding and scoring lately, he could actually demand that the Bobcats are must-see TV, as long as you’re a masochist who can deal with the rest of the team’s (Jax excluded) inability to put the ball in the damn hoop.
Luckily, there’s still plenty to like about this match-up, even if you aren’t particularly interested in either team. TJ Ford and Raymond Felton are both equally frustrating in their own way, but Felton’s defense and Ford’s offense (when his head is right) make for an interesting give and take. Tyson Chandler will be chasing Troy Murphy for stretches, which in itself seems like a strange, punchline-less joke. And Stephen Jackson-Mike Dunleavy? Too much. A priceless face-off of former Warriors, once swapped for each other, who play completely different yet eerily similar styles. Don’t question it, just nod along.
Care to Explain?
Toronto at Orlando
Every time the Raptors play, I take it upon myself to mention just how bad their defense is. Consider this a change of pace.
Despite the fact that the Raps have the same interior as a Cadbury Cream Egg, they’ve had some pretty remarkable success against Dwight Howard this season. 20.5 points and 11.5 rebounds may not strike you as noteworthy defense, but Howard’s FG% is what sticks out to me: In his two games against Toronto this season, Howard is averaging just 34.6% shooting from the field. Toss in a half-tick above his usual turnover rate, and you’ve got a head-scratcher. That’s Chris Bosh, Andrea Bargnani, and a bit of Amir Johnson and Rasho Nesterovic holding one of the league leaders in FG% (2nd, if you wanna be specific) to a miserable percentage on his attempts. What gives?
You Have My Attention, and Now You Have Five Seconds to Completely Sway My Opinion
Cleveland at Philadelphia
The fun has been gone from Philadelphia since the bell tolled on their playoff run last season, and it has yet to come back. That’s in spite of some early success from Marreese Speights, who is still one of my favorite young players in the league. That’s in spite of bringing back a high-profile, energizing player in Allen Iverson. That’s in spite of Jrue Holiday, who while he isn’t all that great at running an offense, has the potential to be a terrific defender at the 1. And that’s in spite of Philly finally winning one after dropping twelve straight. The Sixers are all over the place, as long as the place doesn’t involve anything resembling offensive efficiency. Their style of play may be a sight to behold if only for all the questions that have no answers, but for the moment I’ve deemed them unwatchable. I’ve seen the novelty of a bad team with nowhere left to turn, and while it’s always a tad interesting to watch the flames begin to consume everything.
But tonight, I may give them a few seconds of my full attention. If, in one random possession, the Sixers can do something to pique my interest? Well, maybe we can do business together. But otherwise, I’m not that interested in watching Cleveland hand them yet another loss.
Feeling Bad Never Felt So Good
Memphis at Atlanta
Honestly, I feel horrible for the Grizzlies. After fighting to hang with the Celtics, Ray Allen decided that it was his personal mission to make the city of Memphis miserable…that is, if the city of Memphis managed to burden itself with even looking at the final score. But almost every Grizzly in the rotation had a solid night or better, and to deny them a win simply because Ray Allen is Ray Allen? I know that nothing in this world is fair, but they deserved better. Shame on you, basketball gods. Shame on you, precise mechanics of Ray’s jumper.
Still, it’s hard not to feel good about just how well Memphis has played lately, and tonight is another opportunity for them to earn some street cred. The Hawks are among the class of the East, and a win over a quality team like that suddenly adds legitimacy to their extended run. Wins over the Mavs and the Cavs were nice, but a short burst in the schedule could be nothing more than an aberration. A win tonight not only carries the literal impact of having a quality win over a quality opponent, but it authenticates everything that the Grizzlies have done of late is more than just streaky play and some good luck. 10-14 is a pretty swell record, but 11-14 is that much closer to the almighty .500, and that much closer to some respect.
No Respect, Nyah-Nyah-Nyah!
Utah at New Jersey
It’s so easy to count out the Utah Jazz. I mostly blame Carlos Boozer, who remains a public enemy. His style is just so easily disregarded, so typically understated, and yet so utterly productive. And as much as we love to pick on him for his passive defense and his tendency to get his shots swatted, he’s probably an all-star. That’s not nothin’, and considering all the completely pleasant players in Utah, I’m honestly surprised they don’t get more credit for being a credible team. Deron Williams is about as real as point guards get, Mehmet Okur’s still tougher and more reliable than people think, and Andrei Kirilenko is just a peach. Plus, Wesley Matthews and Eric Maynor? Two of the best rookies living out of the spotlight, even if only one of them gets consistent PT.
The Nets are similarly situated in terms of public perception, at least relative to their predicted standing. Whereas the Jazz were expected to be sub-elite (which they are, if you’ve been paying attention…another reason why I don’t understand the Jazz disregard), the Nets were expected to be bad, but not awful. And despite what their record says, that’s what they are. There’s been so much written trying to make sense of Jersey’s miraculously awful start, and I’m not sure that the formula is anything remotely simple. But the odds were certainly stacked against the Nets, and although that doesn’t excuse their effort in some of their losses, no one expected the Nets to be good. No one expected them to be mediocre. And even though every rebuilding process doesn’t involve reaching historical levels of failure, this is the kind of thing that happens when an already limited team trades away part of its core, integrates new pieces, finds minutes for younger players, and faces a boatload of injuries. The Nets are a bad team, just not as bad as other indicators would have you believe.
Last Time, on NBA Team Missing Their Star Contributors
LAL at Milwaukee
I’m still warming up to the concept that Michael Redd is a part of this Bucks team. The team still sends out the paychecks and Redd will probably be under contract until next season (he has a player option for 2010-2011), but I’d just grown accustomed to Milwaukee games being about the progress of Andrew Bogut, the return of Ersan Ilyasova, and the arrival of Brandon Jennings. Just add Luc Richard Mbah a Moute, and you’ve got a squad with all the scrap, the defense, and the bursts of greatness that you’d want out of what was supposed to be a depressing year for a depressing franchise. And for whatever reason, Redd doesn’t seem to be a part of that. There’s nothing wrong with his attitude, his work ethic, or even his play (the Bucks were already using the long ball as their calling card, and they could use Redd’s mid-range shooting), but just this feeling in the pit of my stomach that he’s loitering in a space that doesn’t belong to him anymore.
The Lakers are completely different, even if I’m still acclimating myself to Pau Gasol’s return…which was about a month ago. With Pau in the lineup, the Lakers have lost just one game. One game. I kept telling myself that with everyone healthy and on the court, something was bound to fall apart. Maybe Artest would go haywire, or Bynum would feel alienated, or Derek Fisher would try to play from the convenience of his Rascal. But instead, they just use every single game as an argument of why they’re the best team in basketball. With the way the Lakers started the season defensively, I knew they’d be good. But I don’t think I was prepared to acknowledge that they’re as good as they are. The supposed offensive juggernaut is simply slaughtering teams with their defense alone, and I’m not sure that I want to live in a world where these Lakers solve all of their problems offensively. It’s just not fair.
Remember When He Was… Uhh…Had to Cross All That Broken Glass Without Shoes On, and There Was Nothing He Could Do About It So He Just Walked On All the Broken Glass With His Bare Feet? Did You Like That?
Detroit at New Orleans
Yes Chris, I did. I liked it when Rip Hamilton and Tayshaun Prince were injured, and the Pistons had to make do because there was nothing they could do about it. I liked how it opened up the game for Stuckey, Bynum, Villanueva, Jerebko, and Daye. I liked how they desperately tried to keep their heads above water, even as the realities of having a team full of average players weighed against them. It’s not a slight to the team or their effort, but just an honest appraisal of a team that lacks legitimate difference-makers on both ends.
And Yes, Chris, I did. I liked it when Chris Paul was injured, and the Hornets had to make do because there was nothing they could do about it. So they found more minutes for Darren Collison and Marcus Thornton, and now those two are rotation mainstays even with Paul back in the mix. I liked how the team still managed to win games, even when David West, the next in line and logical candidate for more shots and more points, struggled. I liked how they put together a few solid defensive efforts, even though the team as a whole is not very strong on that end of the court.
But mostly, I liked how both team will now be better for all of it. They have their proven stars who we know can produce, and now they have valuable young parts that are plenty capable of contributing under any circumstances.
Sometimes You’re the Windshield, Sometimes You’re the Sledgehammer of a Disgruntled Ex-Employee Who Has Plenty of Free Time, Nothing to Lose, and Endless Rage
San Antonio at Golden State
Oh boy, the Warriors are going to get it tonight. The Phoenix held San Antonio at arm’s length last night, and even though this year’s Spurs outfit is going through some growing pains, they’re a prideful team. And Golden State is a bad team. Not exactly the best combination for a competitive match-up, but it could be yet another opportunity for the Spurs to get their paperwork in order.
While I don’t understand why Tony Parker, Manu Ginobili, Tim Duncan, and Richard Jefferson are always on different pages, I do know that Gregg Popovich has all the tools necessary to play stop-n-go with the Dubs. Duncan can slow the game down, and even though his post moves are a little bit less reliable than we’re used to, he’s still a force…especially when Corey Maggette is playing serious minutes at center. Then, when TD gets tired or just plain bored, the Spurs speed unit is more than capable of pacing Monta Ellis and company. To make matters worse, the Warriors haven’t topped 101 points in the last three games (all losses), despite playing at the fastest pace. Wins over the Warriors aren’t quite a recipe for righting the ship, but sometimes you’ve just gotta pick out the smallest kid on the playground, and bully him until you feel better about yourself.
The $1 Beer Night Debacle That Will Take My Life
Washington at Sacramento (Zach Harper)
I’m not going to lie; someone is going to jail tonight at this Kings game. The Kings were given a nationally televised game by ESPN a couple of weeks ago. Because attendance has been so poor for the Kings (I’d be shocked if there have been more than 9,000 people in any given home game after the home opener), the Kings had to think of something to fill the arena for this game. So they decided to offer $1 beer through the end of halftime in order to fill up the stadium. And it worked. As of yesterday, there were fewer than 900 tickets left for sale for this game. The problem is the Kings didn’t realize the arena will still look empty on TV for the first half because everybody will be on the concourse, standing in line for beer. At some point, there will be far too many drinks in far too many people and there will be a riot. You’ll get a text from your friends saying, “OMG there’s a riot at the Kings game turn on ESPN!!!†Just watch the game from the start so you don’t have to wait for the replay at midnight to watch the Sacramento Apocalypse.
Return of the Mc
Rockets at Nuggets, 9:00PM EST (Zach Harper)
Get it? Return of the Mc sounds like Return of the Mack, that song by Mark Morrison from like 1996. It’s clever. Okay, well it’s sort of clever. And Tracy McGrady isn’t really a “mack†anymore. He’s more of a “you know if he stays healthy and can spread the floor with Trevor Ariza and Shane Battier then the Rockets will have a nice balance of scoring all over the court and… OHLOOKIT’SSOMETHINGSHINYOVERTHERE†kind of story. McGrady probably won’t play more than 10 minutes in this game. Actually, it’s the second night of a back-to-back so he might play at all even though he played just eight minutes last night. But if he gets on the court, we might get a little flash of McGrady versus Carmelo that could provide scoring delight for a couple of minutes.
LET’S HAVE OURSELVES A HOE-DOWN! (Oh, Sorry Dirk.)
Dallas at OKC, 8:00 EST (Matt Moore)
Josh Howard and Kevin Durant against one another? Jason Kidd versus Russell Westbrook? Dirk being guarded by Green? Erick Dampier versus Nenad Krstic? This couldn’t be better. Unless there were jelly sammiches. Because that would be better.
YOUR NIGHTLY HORROR
Clip at Wolves, 8:00EST (Matt Moore)
I suggest wrapping presents and thinking happy thoughts while watching this. On second thought, nothing with scissors.
Happy Friday Parox-Readers. As a reminder, Christmas is right around the corner! So be sure to be thinking of ways you can ditch your family so you can watch the seven hundred games the NBA schedules on the holiest of days.
Let’s see what’s on tap, shall we?
REASONS TO WATCH THE GAMES OF THE NATIONAL BASKETBALL ASSOCIATION TONIGHT:
I saw a Branson, Missouri production of Peter Pan on Friday. In a lot of ways, I couldn’t tell the difference between that and Bucks-Thunder.
REASONS TO WATCH THE GAMES OF THE NATIONAL BASKETBALL ASSOCIATION TONIGHT:
Some Like It Hot, Some Like It So Cold The Sun Would Need A Snuggie
Bulls at Bucks, 8PM EST
The Jennings show has slowed down, and the Bulls are getting hammered on account of their inability to put the little round thing in the little circle thing. This one should be a great defensive game and because of the pace of both teams, should be entertaining. But I have a deeper question. If Luol Deng and Luc Richard Mbah A Moute guard each other, is that like crossing the streams in Ghostbusters? Because I think it is, and I don’t want the world to end. Although it’s pretty clear Brandon Jennings is carrying an unlicensed nuclear accelerator on his back.
ZE GERMAN IZ NUOT HAPPAY!
Philly at Dallas, 8:30PM EST
The Mavericks lost. Dirk doesn’t like it when he loses. Elton Brand may not play. Marreese Speights definitely will not play. Willie Green and Jrue Holiday are going to try and stop Jason Kidd. This is like “Honey, I Shrunk The Kids” only if the ant ate all of them and the rest of the movie was just footage of them being digested.
The “We’re Not That Bad, Dang It!” Showdown
Memphis at Utah, 9PM EST
I’ll freely admit, I turned off the game after the third quarter yesterday, thinking the Grizzlies looked pretty darn good. And then, oh, yeah, outscored 33-7 in the fourth and lose by ten to the Clippers. That’s the Grizzlies I know. The Jazz meanwhile have steadied the ship behind… Carlos Boozer? I did NOT see that coming. Marc Gasol versus Okur is the one to watch, what with the weird hair and smells and all. I kind of would like to see Gasol just decide to take over and run over the Jazz, but Deron Williams is going to eat this team up on the perimeter. It’s a weird set of matchups with the Jazz winning at the 1, the 3, and the 4, and the Grizzlies having the advantage at the 2 and 5. Of course, it’s in Utah, so the six spot will probably decide this one, and I don’t mean Millsap.
Honestly, They Might As Well Bill This As “Pacers-Warriors Shoot-Around”
Put down your credit card, pull out that extra turkey leg, fire up the League Pass and get to work.
You’ve got games to watch!
HEY! You stole our record! (Wizards at Heat, 7:00PM EST) Three years ago, the Wizards looked to be on the rise, the Heat seemed to be treading water, and the idea of Gilbert Arenas versus Dwyane Wade seemed like Must See TV. Fast forward a couple of years and the Heat are sporting a much better record, Gilbert is struggling to figure out if his alter ego is his actual ego, and Dwyane Wade is going to try to drop the Wizards to 4-10. I was sure that the Wizards would bounce back this year and have a fantastic season. Instead, they’re the equivalent of a nice fantasy basketball team that is stuck near the bottom of the standings because you can never get them to all put it together for an extended period of time.
We’re not even going to have a basketball game. We’re more athletic than you. It’s American Gladiators time! Winner gets the nickname “Two Scoops.†(Hawks at 76ers, 7:00PM EST)
I’m pretty serious here. Between Josh Smith, Thad Young, and Andre Iguodala, I’m giving the nickname “Two Scoops†to whoever has the best dunk of the night or the most dominating performance of the night or a combination of the two. I’m really sad for this Sixers team because they now have zero point guards with Lou Williams out. So Iggy has to probably be the primary playmaker. That’s not a bad thing but I’d like to keep him on the wing and in attack mode. As for Atlanta, they should be fresh for this game, considering they left their loss to Orlando and skipped the second half.
Hey, we’re 5-1 since Shaq went down! Tell the big guy to take his time! (Cavs at Bobcats, 7:30PM EST) I imagine that at this point in their careers, Gerald Wallace has initiated the same conversation with LeBron James:
Gerald would love to know LBJ’s secret and tips.
On Thanksgiving, you guys probably put maple syrup on your turkey and mashed potatoes. Wait…what do you mean you DON’T celebrate Thanksgiving in Canada? (Raptors at Celtics, 7:30PM EST)
This should be a marquee matchup between the two best teams in the Atlantic division. Toronto should be more fun to watch than they are and the Celtics should be much better than they are. But all of their shortcomings will be forgiven if we get more Kevin Garnett cheering for Joe Calderon.
Literally, I wouldn’t watch 10 minutes of this game unless you can assure me Will Bynum is going off. (Clippers at Pistons, 8:00PM EST) Turn on this game and if Will Bynum isn’t going off, the amount of time you spend watching this game will prove either your love of the NBA, your boredom on a Friday night, or your justification for owning a Ben Gordon jersey.
Watching Rodrigue Beaubois attacking a basket in which Roy Hibbert is guarding and trying to figure out whom I want to win is the equivalent of picking your favorite kid. (Mavericks at Pacers, 8:00PM EST) You’re essentially asking me to choose between Rob Mahoney and Jared Wade here. I simply won’t do it. This is what Archie Manning feels like when he watches his sons fire up Madden 10 during family get-togethers.
There’s no place like home. There’s no place like home. There’s no place like home. (Spurs at Rockets, 8:30PM EST) The Spurs still haven’t won on the road this season. They’re 0-4 away from the beautiful confines of San Antonio. This doesn’t bode well any time soon when forecasting their rodeo trip in February. At the same time, it’s only four games and they’re bound to start getting the job done on the road – especially against this Rockets team. The Rockets team is really cute, kind of like one of those old Furbies. They’re cuddling. They make you feel good. But it’s hard to find a reason to think they’ll change your life.
We do the up-tempo thing too, except we actually score points and win games. You should try it sometime. (Knicks at Nuggets, 9:00PM EST) I’ve looked into the future and recorded a scene from this Knicks-Nuggets game tonight. The Knicks are showing their weapons, trying to bully and scare the Nugs with false toughness. While Nene is hiding behind some barrels and waiting for his chance to attack, Chauncey Billups is waiting to jump out from the shack and open fire on the Knicks. And you’ve got Carmelo Anthony trying to trick the Knicks with his best Mandarin Chinese before he lays down the law. All the while, Earl “JR†Smith is shirtless and trying to pull his gun out of his speedo. It’s just another typical Knicks-Nuggets matchup.
Somebody unplug the Brandon Jennings hype machine! It’s taking over the world! (Bucks at Thunder, 9:30PM EST) You bumped Suns and Wolves in order to put Brandon Jennings and Kevin Durant on national TV? You thought THAT was a good idea? Holy crap, this is the equivalent of the Raptors in Jurassic Park figuring out how to open doors. They’re evolving!
I’d like to surrender my bet. (Suns at T’Wolves, 9:30PM EST)
I can’t take it anymore as a Wolves fan. It’s just too hard. I need Kevin Love to return and I need Ricky Rubio to come in, guns a blazing as he rides in on a white horse with a flowing mane of hair and no-look passes that disarm the defensive efforts of the Wolves’ opponents. I wonder how Ricky is doing right now. He’s probably not taking any awkward photo shoots. He’s probably just concentrating on his game and looking to make himself better for when he’s in ‘Sota, right? Right? NOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!
It’s called disclosure, you d%$^head! (Grizzlies at Blazers, 10:00PM EST) The Blazers have a lot of young, good players and it’s helped Portland become a fantastic team and a power in the Western Conference. The Grizzlies have a lot of young, good players and it’s helped them become an abhorrent team that is near the bottom of the Western Conference. It would be great if the Grizzlies could take a look at Portland’s files.
You always remember your first…especially, when it means you avoid historic win virginity. (Nets at Kings, 10:00PM EST) You watch this for the same reason you watched the movie Saw or Hostel. You’re slightly interested in seeing someone be tortured and you love horror films. You would love for the protagonist to make it out alive but if that doesn’t happen, you’re okay with that too. The Nets winning would be great for them and it could even save Lawrence Frank’s job for now. But at the same time, you love watching them lose because it gets them closer to historic failure. Three more losses in a row and they’re the worst team in NBA history to start a season.
My grandma is a terrible cook. So I used to cringe whenever we were going to have Thanksgiving dinner at her house and always gave a fist pump when I found out it was going to be at my parents’ house.
When there was a back and forth discussion between my grandma and my mom in which one would say, “we’ll have it at my house,†and the other responded with, “no, no, we’ll have it at our house,†and they kept alternating their offerings, I usually had an internal battle of sadness and happiness that looked something like this:
Lion Face: Dwight Howard Marey Carey was right; this guy is huge. Dwight Howard dominated the paint against the Hawks and took over the second half in which the Magic took complete control of a game that looked hopeless for the Orlando faithful. Dwight scored 16 points in the second half of this game. He had 10 rebounds in the second half. He used the left-handed hook shot. He used the drop step. He grabbed boards. He changed shots. He peeled potatoes and then mashed them. He made real cranberry sauce after he saw that people were just squeezing theirs out of the can. He stopped watching Funny People after the first hour in order to make sure he was entertained by the movie. He made Tom Hanks get a haircut after he saw Angels and Demons. He also did this:
Lemon Face: Hawks Second Half Everything Outkast asked it once but I’ll ask it again: what’s cooler than being cool? That’s right – ice cold. Well, the Hawks were ice cold in the second half and gave this game away. In the first half, they were handling the Magic by scoring inside, making the extra pass, and knocking down three-pointers. In the second half, they forced it inside when it wasn’t there. They made just one of their last nine three-point attempts. They went to the free throw line just seven times in the entire game with only one of those coming in the fourth quarter. Orlando made 11 shots in the third quarter; the Hawks made 11 in the second half. They were outrebounded 34-16 in the last 24 minutes of this game. Hell, Anthony Johnson outscored them in the fourth quarter!!!!
Lion Face: Anthony Johnson…wait, THAT Anthony Johnson? 15 fourth quarter points for Anthony Johnson! What in the name of a broken down Jason Kidd giving up 40 to AJ in a playoff game is going on here? I understand the idea of giving Anthony Johnson whatever he wants and if he beats you then he beats you but at the same time, that only works if you’re scoring more points than him as a team.
Lemon Face: My Ability to Watch A Second Game After Gorging Myself Too…much…food…tryptophan…setting…in…can’t….concentrate…on…anything…HOLY CRAP WE HAVE AN EXTRA ROLL…TNT…blowout…putting…me…to…sleep…zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
Lion Face: Carlos Boozer 28 points on 12/14 shooting? Eight rebounds, five assists, and three blocks? Three blind people reporting their wallets were taken during the game? Now, that’s the Carlos Boozer in a contract season that we all know and love!
Lemon Face: Day After Shopping As someone who worked in a mall for years and can assure you that working in retail is worse torture than any waterboarding, let me tell you that the day after Thanksgiving sales are NOT worth it. Sure, there are a couple of amazing deals on limited quantities of big ticket items but people are a horrible brand of animal and will run over you if they find out they get free batteries with a TV remote. Just stay in, give it a week or two and wait for the second wave of sales. Trust me; they’re coming.
Lion Face: Joakim Noah Elbows Lead to Joakim Noah Dunks “Hey Mehmet, is it true you’re FROM TURKEY?†– Noah
“Yes.†– Okur.
“Well, Happy Thanksgiving!†– Noah
It’s Thanksgiving and there are NBA games on TV. This is a good thing. After you’ve destroyed a pound of mashed potatoes, several helpings of candied yams, and enough turkey to sedate a rhinoceros (or Kirstie Alley), TNT will have a couple of games on TV for you. And the games are actually good matchups.
So with that, I wish you a Happy Thanksgiving and a safe day after of shopping. Here is what I’m thankful for in reference to each game:
Can Birds Fly Higher Than a Floating Magic Wand? It’s Abracadabra vs. Cawwww-Cawwww!
(Magic at Hawks, 8:00PM EST on TNT)
I’m thankful for the fact that Jason Williams is back in the NBA. I love watching him hop in unison with his dribble before he pulls up for a quick three with the quick pull back of his hands.
I’m thankful for J.J. Redick’s jumper. It’s really a picture perfect thing of beauty. Even if you hate him for his hair, his lack of a proper tan while living in Florida, or for his Dukeness, you should still take great pleasure in seeing him let it fly.
I’m thankful for Rashard Lewis when he’s leaning left on his outside shot. I don’t have any stats to back this up but I’d estimate he makes 130% of his shots when leaning left. That’s right; some of them go in twice.
I’m thankful for Dwight Howard’s ability to rattle a rim. It sounds simplistic but it really is fun to see him try to rip down the Shaq-proof rims.
I’m thankful for the fact that with a shorter haircut, Stan Van Gundy looks like Paul Blart.
I’m thankful for Ryan Anderson’s ability to step into any lineup and help a team not skip a beat.
I’m thankful for Josh Smith actually caring about his job this year and what it means for the demise of the rest of the NBA.
I’m thankful for Joe Johnson’s smoothness. I know Josh Smith got the stupid moniker of J Smoove but Joe Johnson is probably the silkiest player we’ve seen since Walt Frazier.
By the way, I’m thankful for the fact that I met Walt Frazier last night at the Kings-Knicks game. That was F’ing cool.
I’m thankful for Jamal Crawford’s ability to shoot a team in or out of any given game. I love the gunslinger mentality. It’s why I almost bought a Cuttino Mobley jersey several times in my life. Almost. I’m thankful for Jeff Teague, his quickness, and the fact that he’ll come out of nowhere in three years and amaze everybody with how he runs a team.
I’m thankful for Mike Woodson’s mustache. I feel like I can finally appreciate its beauty.
I’m thankful for the size of Zaza Pachulia’s head. As someone who has a huge head myself, it’s nice to see a bigger planet on someone’s shoulders.
And I’m thankful for the fact that the Hawks are good once again. Stacey Augmon can stop rolling in his grave.
Okay, This Turkey Has Me Wanting to Pass Out in a Pool of My Own Drool But I Need to Stay up for This Battle of Point Guards… (Bulls at Jazz, 10:30PM EST on TNT)
I’m thankful for Deron Williams’ crossover.
I’m thankful for Derrick Rose’s attempt to beat that crossover with one of his own.
I’m thankful for both of them when they pull the ball back from the defender, step back and let it fire.
I’m thankful for both of their abilities to surprise a defender with a vicious dunk.
I’m thankful for Mehmet Okur’s time on Sex and the City. I hear he did great work on there.
I’m thankful for the fact that Carlos Boozer will not receive a pay raise this off-season.
I’m thankful for the fact that Paul Millsap’s pay raise was modest enough for me to still enjoy him. Now, if only he’d be good again…
I’m thankful for Andrei Kirilenko’s hair tribute to Jerry Sloan by having that swooping combover.
I’m thankful for everything Joakim Noah. I think he should have his own 24-hour uStream. I want to follow him around constantly.
I’m thankful for the Bulls surviving without Tyrus Thomas. Hopefully, it will show them he isn’t needed around there and that they can move on from him.
I’m thankful for Vinny Del Negro’s overmatched, blank stare in the fourth quarter of games and the calmness that Derrick Rose gives the team after they glance over at the sidelines and VDN’s glazed over eyes.
I’m thankful for the fact that Jared Wade calls him Vinny of the Black.
I’m thankful for Eric Maynor, Wesley Matthews, and Kyrylo Fesenko.
I’m thankful for Ronnie Brewer’s athleticism.
I’m thankful for Kyle Korver’s jumper when he’s squared to the basket.
I’m thankful for Kirk Hinrich’s on the ball defense.
And most of all, I’m thankful for basketball and this community of basketball bloggers/readers. Like many of you, I’m sure, I was always more obsessed with this sport that features Orange Roundie than any of my friends. I was hungry for more box scores, featured stories, and bullet points at the end of newspaper articles. The first thing I looked up on the internet when my family got a computer was a full listing of NBA rosters. Second, of course, was porn. And it wasn’t until I stumbled across people like Bethlehem Shoals, JE Skeets, Matt Moore, Rob Mahoney, Henry Abbott, Tas Melas, Trey Kerby, John Krolik, Kevin Arnovitz, Holly Mackenzie, Corn, Kelly Dwyer, Gian Casimiro, and many others that I realized how much love there is for this game.
You know what I’m thankful for on this Thanksgiving holiday?
Matt and Ben will show you:
Lion Face: Gerald Wallace
Gerald Wallace is one of those players that you want him to be better than he actually is. He can do a little bit of everything and is stuck between star and intangibles guy. But what sets him apart is two-fold: 1) he fills up a stat sheet like Eddy Curry fills out some underwire and 2) he has a gear on the court that most players don’t have. He has a gear that gets him as close to being a star as his skill set will allow. And sometimes it results in some really fun things on the court. Last night’s game was an example of one of those fun things. 31 points on 12/20 shooting and 11/12 free throws to go with 13 rebounds, three assists, two steals, and two blocks. Roar with your lion face, Gerald. Roar with all of your might!
Lemon Face: The Pacers-Clippers Game
What is wrong with you two? Seriously. What is wrong with you two? I mean, was there any effort out there tonight? Don’t try to answer that! It’s a rhetorical question! I know there wasn’t any effort out there tonight! Don’t try to make the excuse of Marcus Camby’s 21 rebounds! That won’t cut it this time. With 114 missed shots in this game, 21 rebounds should be the lowest amount of boards he would theoretically grab! I am very disappointed in you two! You just sit around all night, doing nothing, and when you actually DO something, you lazily do it, expecting everyone to marvel at the fact that you got off the couch and put down the Nintendo controllers! PS3? Whatever! You know my point! Now, I want the two of you to think about what you did tonight. And go to your room until you’re ready to be a productive member of the NBA.
Lion Face: Paul Pierce
I don’t know how he does it. You look at him and he seems like the least athletic professional basketball player, this side of Jerome James. He’s slow. He has almost a neutral vertical leap. He doesn’t move well side to side and he has a slow first step. But he may have the greatest body position on each drive we’ve ever seen. Not only that, but Paul Pierce is also one of the smartest offensive weapons we’ve seen in the last 15 years. He knows every angle on the parquet much like Jeanette Lee knows the lay of the felt and the bounce of the bumpers. The Philadelphia 76ers have every uber-athletic defender to cover him that you’d ever want and yet, they can’t out think him on the court. He veteranized his way into 27 points on 10/15 shooting with six assists and six boards. I just can’t figure out how he gets to the spots on the floor that he gets to.
Lemon Face: Jason Williams
Jason, I love you. I really do. I love you in the most plutonic way a man can love another man who shaped his basketball youth with chicanery and 50-foot bounce passes. And I love the fact that you came back. It wasn’t your time to go last year and we needed one more good run from you. And look at you tonight! 25 points on 12 shots with eight assists to one turnover. Holy crap, that’s a great game. But you can’t have a chance to seal overtime, at worst, with two free throws and as a career 81.3% free throw shooter miss two from the line with nine seconds left in the game. Trey would not have you Big Up yourself.
Lion Face: My New Tattoo Across My Shoulders That Says Super Cool Putback, Game-Winning Dunks
I don’t know if it was goal-tending or not and frankly, I don’t really care. It was a hell of a heads-up play by the NBA soph.
Lemon Face: Bucks Starters
I know it’s the night before Thanksgiving and everybody would rather be home with their families but have a little fire in your belly for crying out loud. The starters in green accounted for just 37 of the Bucks 99 points against the Hornets. They shot 13/44 from the field. They made fewer shots as a whole than Hakim Warrick and Luke Ridnour did off the bench. And on top of that, the Pterodactylous Jennings didn’t have wings of fire. Rather, he had an ice-cold affect on his team’s offense and needed Luke Ridnour to almost bail him out of a 14-point on 4/15 shooting performance.
Lemon Face: Minnesota Timberwolves
You’re an embarrassment to the game of basketball. Sure, they scored 111 points and only lost to the Nuggets by 13 but don’t let that fool you. All that means is the Wolves’ second string is better than the Nuggets absolute garbage time players. The Wolves don’t compete. They’re probably the worst team in the NBA. It’s either them or the Knicks. I know the Nets are 0-15 but they’ve sustained big injuries to get them there. The Wolves have been injured too but at the same time, they have no backup plan when Al Jefferson is killing the competition. Jonny Flynn is too inconsistent. They have no outside shooting. And Brian Cardinal is prominently involved. 1-14 is just the stepping stone to the top draft pick this summer and I hope you draft John Wall and try to make an entire team of point guards. At least then you’d be interesting. Okay, I need to calm down and stare at KG’s MVP picture for a while…
Lion Face: Corey Brewer
With that said, Corey Brewer, have a game tonight! 22 points, 13 rebounds, four assists, two steals, one block and no turnovers. He did all of this in 29 minutes. It may not seem like much to you but as a Wolves fan, it’s all I’ve got right now. I’m reading Bill Simmons book and trying to figure out how to get him in to the front office and David Kahn out. So when Corey Brewer has a game like this, I’m going to revel in it. Ohhhhhhhhhh will I revel!
Lemon Face: New York Knicks
I really feel for Knicks fans. I was at the Kings-Knicks game on Wednesday night and I saw first hand what they go through on a close to nightly basis. They are listless. They are a collective 11 listless players with a David Lee stuck in the middle. But the problem is that David Lee is a one-side of the court type of player. He’s useless on defense. And the rest of them are just completely disinterested in competing. Al Harrington should be arrested for stealing $10 million from the Knicks this season. Chris Duhon wouldn’t even make the JV basketball team that I coach. Larry Hughes on the court is the cruelest joke you could play on someone. And I don’t know what Jared Jeffries job should be but I know it sure shouldn’t basketball.
I called it “Celebration†because the blocks were sexual and violent. Speaking of sexual and violent, he also did this:
Lemon Face: Houston Rockets
You can not play a division rival on your home court and give up 130 points on 65% shooting from the field. That’s just embarrassing. At the same time…
Lion Face: Dallas Mavericks
How about putting up 130 points against a division rival on their home court? And what about doing so on 65% shooting? Damn impressive, Mavericks.
Lemon Face: Monta Ellis’ Fourth Quarter
Monta Ellis was essentially rope-a-dope’d by the San Antonio Spurs tonight. He played the entire first 36 minutes of this game and finished the third quarter with 38 points. He was looking to cook a 50-point night until he ran out of gas in the fourth. That’s when the Warriors gave up and the Spurs took home the victory. It was classic Ali-Foreman all over again. Monta finished with 42 points, which is impressive but not nearly what it looked like the night would shape up to be.
Lion Face: Monta Ellis’ Everything Else
But my god, check out those first three quarters, will you? Monta was feloniously efficient in the first 36. He got to the layup whenever he wanted to and he wanted to get there a lot. He made George Hill look like Troy Hudson. He would have made Troy Hudson look like the French. And he made a French man look like the surrendering Swedes! He couldn’t be stopped early and it was the only thing impressive, tolerable or relevant about the Warriors. The sad thing is that even with the 42-point performance, he was a -21 for the plus/minus tonight.
Lemon Face: New Jersey Nets
0-15, huh? Well, at least it’s a hard 0-15. It’s definitely not one of those soft 0-15s.
Lion Face: Jason Kidd
Jason Kidd is now second on the all-time assists leaderboard in the history of the NBA. He passed Mark Jackson tonight for sole possession of spot number two. He’s still about 5k behind john Stockton for all-time and would have to average 13 per game over the next five seasons to catch Stock but at the same time, over 10 thousand assists is really incredible. Congrats, Mr. Kidd.
One More Lion Face: LeBron James Wishes You a Happy Thanksgiving
LeBron James would like to wish you a Happy Thanksgiving and remind you to have some stuffing:
A proposition: in the spirit of me not wanting to gouge my eyes out of their sockets, I propose that the Raptors and Bobcats play a half-court game tonight. The Raptors never play defense, and the Bobcats never play offense. Each Bobcats stop gets 1.5 points, each steal gets 3. It just makes sense when teams like this play each other, and it allows guys like Andrea Bargnani, Tyson Chandler, Gerald Wallace, and Jose Calderon to do their thing without the fuss of limitations. But hey, if you’d rather watch Larry Brown’s magical half court sets and the overwhelming defensive tenacity of the Raps, then by all means.
So Far Over the Radar, It’s Under the Radar
Miami at Orlando (7:30 EST)
As far as the three “true” Eastern contenders go, the Magic have consistently been most in line with expectation. The Cavs have bounced back from a slow start and slow defensive rotations, but despite LeBron’s best efforts, this team isn’t nearly as epic as advertised. The Celtics were supposed to pick up right where they left off with a healthy and rejuvenated Kevin Garnett, but all I see is a team still struggling to properly execute. So much has been turned upside down in Boston and Cleveland this season, and as such the two most impressive teams in the East have been these: the deep as all hell Orlando Magic, and the still surprising Atlanta Hawks.
If you need more incentive to watch this game, then shame on you.
On the Edge
Philadelphia at Boston (7:30 EST)
The Celtics are hardly teetering, but I still get the sense that they’re in limbo. They show their true colors for stretches, completely shutting down opposing offenses with swift adjustments and perfect execution. But just a minute later, it’s like a completely different team took the floor. What was most impressive about the championship Celtics was their synergy. It was more than a bunker mentality, it was as if KG was the hive mind. Each player worked within the context of the scheme not because it was the right thing to do, but because it was as if their brains couldn’t function otherwise. That team was their calling, their purpose, their basketball lives, and they demolished anything and everything (except the Bobcats) that stood in their path. Until I see that same synergy again, I don’t see Boston keeping up with Cleveland, Orlando, or Atlanta.
But the Sixers, and Elton Brand, clearly are on the edge of something. I pretty much use these Sixers games as an Elton Brand progress report, and this is perhaps the most appropriate time to do so; after turning in disappointing performance after disappointing performance, Elton has finally put together a stretch run that could make even a Philadelphia sports fan smile. It’s as if Elton peered over the ledge and saw the unending blackness that could become his career, and scared himself into real production. I don’t know that I’d expect that same production against KG and the Celts, but stranger things have certainly happened.
In This Scene, the Cavs Will Be Slaloming
Cleveland at Detroit (8:00 EST)
Allow me to indulge in a quick metaphor. For a few brief moments, the Cavs meet some resistance. Unlike the Cavs of old (read: 2008-2009), this squad sputters out of the gate, and a surprisingly prepared Pistons team will do more than just keep pace. But once everything is squared away, LeBron squares up and coasts. Cleveland may drift in and out of the wake just for fun, but the downside to being a merely average NBA team is that top-notch squads will just outclass you.
He Doesn’t Look a Thing Like Jesus, But He Flies Like a Pterodactyl
Milwaukee at NOLA (8:00 EST)
They’ve got youth! The’ve got fire! They’ve got Brandon Jennings! ‘Sova! Darren Collison! Marcus Thornton! And hopefully as little of Bobby Brown as possible! I’m not expecting flawless basketball but I am expecting a damn good time, and if you’re in the mood to take notes then tune in to the new kids. One of the most brilliant things about the season’s opening stretch is the youth and energy of the league’s youngest talent. Y’know, before they get jaded with road trips, and groupies, and the rigors of an 82 game schedule that throws their bodies into a blender and laughs maniacally when they beg it to just turn the blend settings down to 3.
But these are the golden months!
You Are Not a Plucky Hero, The Nuggets Are Not an Evil Empire, and This Is Not the Grand Arena
Denver at Minnesota (8:00 EST)
Given: The Denver Nuggets are crazy good, and the Minnesota Timberwolves are crazy bad.
Given: The Wolves have no matchups to exploit against the Nuggs.
Given: Jawaibberwocky.
Given: ‘Sota’s weak perimeter D will receive headbutts from Carmelo and J.R.
AS SUCH: The Nuggets win by 27 points because there is no hope in this world, and because the Timberwolves play some pretty terrible basketball.
On Sleepless Roads the Sleepless Go
Dallas at Houston (8:30 EST)
Of all the teams in the league that Mavs would not want to play right now (just after playing their starters way too long and losing to the Warriors), the Rockets would have to be near the top. Last time these two met, the Mavs came back from the a substantial deficit due to fresh legs and loaded barrels, but it’s going to take something special tonight. If you see a box score with the Mavs ahead, set your Tivo’s for stunned, because someone is going off. Otherwise, Dallas will be huffing and puffing the dust of the quickest and hard-workingest of teams in the West, if not the league.
To the Victors Go the Spoils…And For Those of You Not Following Along, The Spoils Are a Loss to the Spurs
Golden State at San Antonio (8:30 EST)
But on the other side of last night’s coin, the Warriors aren’t likely to fare well either. Six men in blue with tired legs will combat the Spurs, but San Antonio has the personnel, the flexibility, and the system (though you wouldn’t know it from their play this season) to completely rock their world. I can’t think of a better match for Monta Ellis than George Hill, and although Parker’s return from injury hedges the glory of that match-up, you’re still likely to see it a great deal as TP rests on the bench and Ellis plays every minute of tonight’s game. Expect some vintage, ruthless execution from the Spurs tonight, with a healthy dose of open corner threes against a Warriors team that struggles to maintain defensive focus.
Aziz, Light!
Memphis at Phoenix (9:00 EST)
The Grizz clip Iverson’s name from their program and like magic, they perform. That development instantly turns the Tinsley signing into a reasonable one, and the Randolph mistake less exaggerated. I wouldn’t dare say that the situation in Memphis is a good one, but there have been much cloudier days. Next step: convincing Mike Conley to play like Mike Conley.
The Little Things
New York at Sacramento (10:00 EST)
I’m thankful for Tyreke Evans, on every drive, jumpshot, or traveling violation.
I’m thankful for Wilson Chandler, who somehow has ridden the highs of Mike D’Antoni’s system into new lows.
I’m thankful for Jason Thompson, because not only is he awesome, but more minutes for Shock means less minutes for Sean May.
I’m thankful for Danilo Gallinari, whose shooting ability was not overrated by Pringles.
I’m thankful for Beno Udrih, who periodically comes out of his comatose state to play decent basketball.
I’m thankful for Nate Robinson, regardless of which basket he shoots at.
I’m thankful for Omri Casspi, who is at least ten times better than I thought he was.
I’m thankful for the guiding light that will one day come from Toney Douglas, provided he can get some consistent minutes.
I’m thankful for Knicks-Kings in November, because this is the greatest sport on the planet Earth.
A Win!
New Jersey at Portland (10:00 EST)
You know, just in case it actually happens tonight. CALLED IT.
