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Tag Archive - andersonvarejaoshouldunderstandhislimitations

NBA Trade Deadline: It Only Took Danny Ferry Four Years To Figure Out Anderson Varejao Is Not A Starter Quality Power Forward

There’s also this issue, which seems to get forgotten a lot during deadline talk. Anderson Varejao is the second-best player on the Cavaliers. It’s true. Say it aloud. It’ll help it sink in. As crazy as it sounds, the guy with the crazy hair who looks like he could get knocked over by a stiff breeze, has no game outside of 10 feet to speak of, and doesn’t dunk on people has become an absolutely vital piece for the Cavs.

How would Andy be able to play next to Amare? They would both need too many minutes to never play with each other. Almost all of Varejao’s offensive game is predicated on him setting the screen up high and/or cutting around the hoop and looking for easy baskets. When Amare’s in the game, it would be foolish not to use him in the high pick-and-roll offensively and try to set him up with as many dunk opportunities as possible. Andy can’t stretch the floor in those situations. Will there be enough space for Andy to be effective in the same lineup as Amare and LeBron? They might be able to figure it out. Or they might not be able to be, and the Cavs end up losing all of their momentum.

via The Four Chronicles: The Return of The Amare Rumors « Cavs: The Blog.

Paroxi-Wife largely ignored the NBA for the first year of our marriage. Then, sometime in her second season, she looked up, saw Varejao throw himself to the floor needlessly (again), and asked “WHAT is that?!”

And so I had to explain Anderson Varejao to my wife. Yes, that is his hair, not a ceremonial headdress. No, he’s not hurt. Yes, he just falls over. No, he cannot shoot. Yes, he’s a pretty good rebounder. No, he has no touch. Yes, he’s a professional basketball player. No, he’s not really a basketball player.

And from there, as she evolved into a Cavs fan, she formed a nickname for him and a theory. Her name for him is Flopsy, and her theory is thus:

“Flopsy is paid to do three good things a game. That’s it. Three. Anything else he does is gravy. As long as he does three positive basketball things per game, he has earned his salary.”

I was stunned. That’s pretty much the most accurate description of Anderson Varejao’s game and contract situation I’ve ever heard, to this day. When he received his extension to boost him to six million, she posited that he now has to do six good things a game. Usually he fails. But that’s the current level to justify the contract.

The point I’m trying to make here is that if Anderson Varejao is your second best player? You have problems. I don’t care what your record is. I don’t care that you beat the Lakers. I don’t care that you have the best basketball player on planet Earth (and probably any other, assuming, they’ve managed to pick up on the concept, and integrate it). If Anderson Varejao is your second best player, you need to do something in order to make it to where Anderson Varejao is not your second best player.

There’s a lot of talk about Amar’e going to Cleveland and his defensive problems, but I’ve said for a long time that I think A. his problems are cover-able in a good defensive system with a good defensive coach and B. he’s still coachable. We’re not looking at a complicated defensive scheme or a straight-man system, even. The Cavs are brilliant because they know how to help effectively. If you give Amar’e backup, he’s going to be fine. I still think Jamison is the better option, because he would fit in seamlessly, but after looking at the numbers, there’s no way to think that Stoudemire wouldn’t be better in the pick and pop, which is where you really need him.

Besides, at least he’s not Flopsy.

A Brief List of Things Anderson Varejao Should Be Prevented From Doing By The Cavaliers Coaching Staff

Every time I watch the Cavs, I’m overwhelmed by a lot of the improvements they’ve made. Most of these were pre-West’s injury and none of them were on display on Sunday when the Lakers pounded them in the second half.  They have more weapons than they have in the past, with West and Williams and Gibson and Szczerbiak.

And yet, for some reason, time and time again, and again on Sunday, Anderson Varejao does things that he has no business doing. To be clear, we’re going to go ahead and provide Andy and all the Cavs fans a list of things Varejao should not do in a game. Ever.

And to start, a little reference.

1. Dribble.

2. Dribble and then shoot.

3. Attempt to formulate a solo offensive move.

4. Post up with anything but the intention to pass it to LeBron or a guard.

5. Attempt a drop step hook.

6. Attempt a jumper from anywhere on the floor except the left baseline, and then only if there is less than four seconds on the shot clock.

7. Attempt a hook shot.

8. Attempt a drive-and-kick.

9. Fail to focus on rebounding in pursuit of “setting up for a shot.”

10. Keep that ridiculous haircut.

11. Ignore LeBron, Mo Williams, Wally Szczerbiak, Delonte West, Boobie Gibson, JJ Hickson, Zydrunas Ilgauskas, Sasha Pavlovic if they are even an ounce more open than he is.

11. Pass to Ben Wallace underneath for the “easy basket” as there is no such thing as an “easy basket” with Ben Wallace.

12. Attempt a basketball move that is not rebounding, tapping back a rebounding, or handing the ball gently to a guard following a rebound.

13. Consider himself an offensive threat.

14. Attempt a putback if there is anyone A.taller B. the same size C. within three inches of his height defending him.

15 . Drift away from the lane for any other purpose but timeouts or to run to the other end of the floor.

16. Get a perm.

17. Try and flop more.

18. Gamble on steals.

19. Ask for an extension.

20. Think about shooting.

Andy, Cleveland fans, basketball fans, and the concepts of efficiency, aesthetics, and righteousness appreciate your cooperation.