“I was at home watchin’ my Arkansas Razorbacks,” Blazers center Steven Hill told me today through some laughter. “I was in Arkansas watchin’ my Razorbacks playing Texas A&M and beat them. My agent calls and says, ‘Do you want to go to Portland?’ I said, ‘Let’s do it.’”

via The Triumphant Return Of Steven Hill – Blazersedge.

YOU GUYS, HE EVEN TALKS LIKE A DUDE FROM THE OZARKS! Seriously, give him a dip, some cammo, and have him put me in a headlock and he could have been one of my classmates. Some stuff you should be aware of, since this time, he’s going to stick. Seriously. The Blazers have no centers. I’m expecting Marcus Camby to get bit by the monkey from Outbreak at this point. He’s sticking. The fans love him. And hey, he’s from Branson Missouri, went to school in Fayetteville, Arkansas. He’s good folk, as we say down yonder.

Anyway, some stuff you should be aware of.

He’s going to be good at either Go-Kart racing or mini-golf. It’s conceptually possible he’s adept at the virtual reality game that was around for like two summers. Do NOT cross the man at skee-ball.

He’s likely a connoisseur at wax figures, particularly ones that do not look anything like their intended subject.

Almost definitely has eaten at Cracker Barrel more than you.

May have developed “IMAX” eyes.

Is currently the most knowledgeable NBA player on the following subjects: chainsaw art, fake glass angels, racoon infestations, and Silver Dollar city.

Seriously, this guy needs to make it. LET HIM STAY, MCMILLAN. MY PEOPLE NEED THIS.

Note: None of the above are probably true.