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Tag Archive - Blake Griffin

Air Walk With Me: Blake Griffin Touches The Face Of God And Doesn’t Get Called For The Foul

This morning started like any other day in the sleepy seaside town of Los Angeles. But then fisherman and milk enthusiast Pete Martell made a startling discovery:

It was Pau Gasol.

No great mystery here, as a national audience watched Blake Griffin completely end the Spaniard with the Los Angeles Clippers’ first two points of the night:

The uproar and outcry on Twitter was simultaneously jubilant and cranky. A flood of ALL CAPS exclamations was followed by admonishment. Even as they oohed and aahed, people chastised Griffin for what was clearly (at least to them) an over-the-back foul. This led quickly to general questions about Griffin’s character and game: he’s a punk, he’s a whiner, all he does is dunk, he would get dunked on too if he ever tried to play defense. But how can you deny the sheer animal spectacle of that dunk? Man, even Andrew Bynum thought it was nasty:

But the night wasn’t over. Even as people were still raving about Griffin’s first gargantuan slam, even as Agent Cooper was still piecing the whole thing together, Griffin was hatching plans for another grisly execution:

A little less than halfway through the third quarter, Griffin caught Gasol in his death bag again.

And again, out came the boobirds to decry this as an offensive foul for the way Griffin kind of sort of elbowed Gasol in the neck on the way up to the rim. Of special note: the woman who comes out to clean up Gasol’s “chalk-sweat outline” (as netw3rk put it). You can see right here where she wants Sessions to move out of the way, but Sessions is still completely flabbergasted.

So what we all learned last night was that some people hate Blake Griffin, some people hate Pau Gasol, some people hate Andrew Bynum and almost everyone hates either the Lakers or the Clippers. But we all love dunks—some of us just want them to be legal dunks, which is kind of twisted.

This is, after all, an offensive strategy that was banned at the college level from 1967 until 1976—nearly as long as prohibition. It’s the only shot type that can get you a technical foul for doing it for too long. Nobody ever gets charged $100 for holding the follow through on a three. But the very fact that the dunk flirts with illegality is what makes it thrilling. A slam dunk is a big bear with claws and fangs. It’s at the very limit of what is allowable within the bounds of the rules, but that’s exactly why it’s compelling. The limits of the competition are there to be tested; you’re even rewarded in many sports for breaking those boundaries. What is a home run, after all, other than one to four points for losing the ball?

The NCAA banned the dunk because it seemed like cheating (and maybe because Texas Western—with their five black starters—was a threatening champ). But it was too late: the scales had fallen from our eyes. The slam dunk was the dangerous guy, the guy with cigarettes rolled up in his white T-shirt’s sleeve. The guy with the motorcycle. Were either of Blake Griffin’s demonstrations of grievous bodily harm fouls? Maybe, but if they were either clearly outlawed or clearly allowed, the game would be too timid or too lawless. A truly devastating dunk will always seem a little like cheating, and that’s the way it should be.

One Round to Rule Them All

Photo by Nrbelex on Flickr

When the lineup for this year’s Slam Dunk Contest was announced, there was nothing but crickets coming from casual basketball fans. No Blake Griffin? No LeBron James? More dedicated followers of the NBA were maybe less surprised. Defending your dunk title has become a bit passé. And rumors about James’ participation fly every year, but he has little to gain by entering and winning and much more by losing. Getting into the dunk contest and falling to anyone might be a bigger misstep than The Decision.

But even the most enthusiastic basketball fans groaned at the field. Derrick Williams? He’s caught some nice alley-oops from Ricky Rubio, but he strikes me as a game dunker, not a showcase dunker. Paul George had that one great breakaway reverse where he pulled it down between his legs, but that’s about it. Chase Budinger’s dunks would best be described as workmanlike. And lastly, Iman Shumpert (who misses nearly as many dunks as he makes) bowed out to be replaced by the wildly better Jeremy Evans. But Evans is 6’9” and bigger guys get less credit for jumping high. It just doesn’t look as cool. His best dunk so far was called an offensive foul.

So why is there any reason for positivity? For one, the new single round format might actually work. Call me crazy, but the multi-round format of previous years has ruined what could have been some great dunk contests. Take Andre Iguodala’s performance in the 2006 Slam Dunk Contest. His alley-oop from Allen Iverson caught off the back of the backboard was probably the best dunk from that year’s event, but it came in the penultimate round and Iguodala ultimately lost to the diminutive Nate Robinson in a dunk off. Robinson’s dunk over Spud Webb signaled the turn of the contest towards a weirdly meta, prop-based approach to the dunk contest. Plus it took him 14 attempts to put it in. Iguodala was, in short, robbed.

httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w6z9-l4hnMM

Two years later, Dwight Howard took the crown with the most prop-driven performance up until that point, but Gerald Green’s opening round dunk got lost in the shuffle. It’s a shame, because it was slick and creative.

httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c1pXEumOGOU

But in subsequent rounds, Green showed he couldn’t come up with anything to top himself, much less any of the other contestants. The best dunk contest participants, from Michael Jordan to Vince Carter, have shown a sense of showmanship that extends beyond the individual dunks to the arc created over the whole contest. It’s kind of cognitively dissonant with the spirit of dunking in the game, which relies more on chance, timing, and opportunity than advance planning.

So there’s a chance that this single round format will level the field a bit more, resulting in good early dunks carrying more weight. But on the other hand, the NBA ditching the judges and awarding the trophy based solely on fan vote is thoroughly wrongheaded. The judge system has had its own problems (as when Howard’s truly impressive sticker dunk was misunderstood by them in the moment), but it’s impossible to see how a fan vote doesn’t lead to something that values flash or name recognition over an honest appraisal of dunks. On the bright side, no one knows who these contestants are. Seriously, this field’s about as open as the field of Republican presidential candidates last November.

But mixed feelings over the Slam Dunk Contest are nothing new. The truly revelatory performances are almost always surprises, which is perhaps in the dunk’s very nature. Like humor, a good dunk thrives on being unexpected, whether that means breaking out of the flow and rhythm of a regular game or coming up with something that’s never been seen before in the contest. The real key to a great dunk contest performance, though, is not only doing something startlingly new, but rather finding a balance between athleticism, showmanship, and, strangely, comprehensibility. Green’s cupcake dunk, Howard’s sticker dunk, and Javale McGee’s cradle under-the-backboard dunk all suffered for not being as immediately graspable as Dr. J’s free throw line dunk or Vince Carter’s through-the-legs alley-oop. Given the tremendous athleticism of players in the NBA now and the switch to fan-voting, it’s likely that the winning dunk won’t be the most impressive, but rather, the one that communicates the best.

Stinkface Chronicles: Griffin and the Greats

"Where'd you learn to dunk? Finishing school?" via imaginaryyear.com

With the exception of Kobe Bryant’s three-game 40-point run — his middle finger to Father Time — Ricky Rubio going all “Pistolero” on the NBA and The Jeremy Lin Experience (Have you ever really been experienced?), this truncated NBA season hasn’t provided a the range of exquisite flavors an 82-game season does.

As opposed to the grind of a full season (which I don’t mind because it allows players, teams and story lines to develop), this lockout-truncated season has been more meat grinder. It has been more about what’s missing. First, it was the league itself. Now, it’s the players’ health. By the end, it may be their sanity because squeezing 66 games into just under 130 days is plain crazy.

That’s not to say there haven’t been sublime NBA moments this season. Considering these are The Stinkface Chronicles, you’ll note that I take note of those that have been above the rim. Here are the five I’ve enjoyed most so far.

DeAndre Jordan on Andrew Bynum and Pau Gasol, Dec. 19, 2011

httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9gDMERiw9Vs

This one happened during the preseason in December, which just goes to show you how weird this season has been. But this flush on the Lakers’ formidable frontline not only provided a glimpse into the denizens of Lob City (ironic, though it was a bounce pass off a pick-and-roll) but also harkened back to another preseason perpetration of Staples-on-Staples crime and the first entry in The Stinkface Chronicles. The Clippers’ bench — and Lakers haters — took great glee in this one, though Lakers’ fans could counter that the Clips should have been whistled for a technical foul for having 12 men on the court after Jordan’s flush.

4. Vince Carter on Emeka Okafor, Jan. 7, 2012

httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=efxVcT7GpDk

It’s vintage Vince, the greatest in-game dunker in NBA history and it’s beautiful. Also, that’s the fastest Brendan Haywood has moved in quite some time, even with Delonte West riding shotgun.

3. Dwyane Wade on Landry Fields, Jan. 27, 2012

httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GEsQm3cxw2A

Wade shows Fields the ball, loops it around Fields’ noggin and then slams said ball on said noggin’. Euro-steppin’.

2. LeBron James on/over John Lucas III, Jan. 29, 2012

httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tvjjEtjwKHE

Here’s a little bit of trivia for you: who was the announcer when Vince Carter unleashed “Le Dunk du Morte“? On the US broadcast, it was Mike Breen, who had a similar reaction to Bron’s dunk as Doug Collins’ did to Vince’s. Breen chuckles a little like Santa Claus — “Hohohoho” — as he should because these two dunks were the best gifts any dunk connoisseur could receive. (An aside, when I saw LeBron’s slam, all I could think of was Collins’ “he jumped over his heeeeaaad” commentary.)

1. Blake Griffin on Kendrick Perkins, Jan. 30, 2012

httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3w_Vy0lDk_A

I rate this slightly ahead of LeBron’s dunk because Lucas didn’t see it coming while Perkins knew full well what he was getting into. Perkins’ act of engagement (and aiding his rise by graciously providing his chest as a step stool) helped make this the dunk* of the season … thus far. So, we thank you, Kendrick.

As for Griffin’s full-fledged assault on Perkins’ puss, we can’t call it the greatest dunk of all-time. That belongs to Vince in 2000. I’ll also argue it doesn’t belong in the Top 10* on two points: One, it had a precedent, specifically Griffin’s throwdown on Timofey Mozgov in the 2010-11 season; and, two: neither were technically dunks as Griffin threw both into the rim instead of grabbing the rim. While I won’t be too much of a Grinch to give the plays their due, I can’t put either into the greatest of all time because of it. What follows is a list of my favorite all-time dunks in an NBA game. Make it yours, because, really, you can’t go wrong when you reference them.

FAVORITE IN-GAME DUNKS OF ALL-TIME (PRE-2011-12 EDITION)

Amar’e Stoudemire on Michael Olowokandi

httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1mbLdZlQC1U&feature=fvst

This dunk is the genesis of The Stinkface Chronicles. We thank thee, Amar’e and you as well, Starbury. Your expression speaks volumes. (For more Amar’e, check out a similar destruction of Anthony Tolliver.)

Dwyane Wade on Kendrick Perkins

httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7cYau7gba5Y

Now, this is a dunk on Kendrick Perkins.

John Starks on Michael Jordan*

httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pCTfxOrX4k8

OK, it technically wasn’t on Jordan, but he was in the picture and I just wanted to remind everyone about that.

Dominique Wilkins on Larry Bird

httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6ngtWdgOz0o

Bird looks like he was shot out of the sky.

Baron Davis on Andrei Kirilenko

httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tYpwjB0IzoU

Isn’t it amazing what Baron Davis can do when he’s in shape and interested?

Tom Chambers on Mark Jackson

httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V7T_Wg5ilo8

This dunk has the Chris Webber seal of approval.

Shawn Kemp on the Knicks

httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QVm6USjXAzk

While most people will give Kemp props for his destruction of Alton Lister, I prefer this one because of the degree of difficulty. A double-pump reverse on two defenders? Get the hell outta here /NewYorkvoice. (It’s No. 3 in this compilation which includes classics such as Chris Gatling giving the Reignman his props and Kemp putting a knee into Bill Laimbeer’s onions.)

Julius Erving on Michael Cooper

httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FCT9QyqhkBU

From the cradle to the crowd rising, like the crest of a wave, as Dr. J skims across the Spectrum floor to Chick Hearn’s call of the cradle (“Way … he rocks the baby to sleep…”) to Michael Cooper going into the fetal position to Beard Dude, everything about this is cool.

Vince Carter on Alonzo Mourning

httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DcU66xdeGck

Carter, the greatest in-game dunker in NBA history, (I need to trademark that), has more than his share of show-stoppers, but Carter goes chest-to-chest with Zo, one of the more feared shotblockers in NBA history, and destroys him. I had this saved on my DVR for more than two years. I wish I still had it.

Michael Jordan on Patrick Ewing

httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1R015PScpTM

Oh, no, Jordan’s trapped in the corner by two Knicks. Wait, no he isn’t. But, oh no, there’s no way he’s going to the make it to the hoop. Ewing is there to block it … Never mind. A seven-foot obstacle is no impediment. After Jordan stares down Ewing, you can hear Cliff Livingston go, “Wooohoohoo!” as he mock sprints from the scene of the crime. Or, later in the highlight, Walt “Clyde” Frazier noted that Jordan was gyratin’ and vibratin’ and manages to get a Diet Pepsi commercial all in one comment.

This one play may encapsulate Michael Jordan’s gifts better than any play in his career: the improvisation, the athleticism, the competitiveness. Of all the great dunks in Jordan’s career, this one rises above the rest.

“What Just Happened?”

Well, I’m glad everyone made it out alive, and I hope everyone realizes what they witnessed.

The 2011 NBA Draft became nothing more than a platform for the Minnesota Timberwolves and their endless volley of draft picks that flew in every direction possible. Confusing doesn’t begin to describe the situation as picks, rights, names, and faces were all shuffled, leaving most of us in a thick cloud of dust not knowing what the hell just happened. But something did happen. Something improbable. Minnesota got better. (Maybe.)

Of course, the bulk of their improvement is due to their uncontroversial selection of Derrick Williams. He was the safe pick, and very well could be the right one. I’ve never been too enamored with his game, and if there’s one thing that defines my perception of him, it’s doubt.

I doubt his position, kind of. I was weary of his ability to play at the small forward spot, but the problem is not nearly as glaring as the situation Marcus Morris put himself in. There are still questions to be answered though. He’s talked about being more comfortable in the perimeter, but does that take away from one of his best qualities (drawing fouls) as a player? Can he be an effective slasher without exceptional footspeed at the NBA level? As a prospect, Blake Griffin was a power forward who could spend time at center. Physically, compared to Griffin, they are remarkably similar. An inch in height and three pounds separate their combine measurements, and both players play with about the same maximum vertical height (taking into consideration height, max vertical, and standing reach).

Both are fantastic athletes, but what sets Griffin apart is the hyper-fluidity of his movements, the extent of which Williams can’t quite match. Williams’ dunks with a running start off two feet are positively Blake-esque, but not so exceptional elsewhere. Granted, his offensive repertoire is more well-rounded at this point in their respective careers, but Williams lacks Griffin’s creativity and prodigy. It’s an unfair comparison, but one to keep in mind. Griffin has maximized his gifts to become a true power forward. With distinct similarities, shouldn’t Williams be doing the same?

Defensively, Griffin hasn’t yet become a plus defender either. However, unlike Williams next season, he has very good weakside help. But he hasn’t spelled out his doom just yet. Williams doesn’t have a freakish wingspan, but it’s above average and when combined with his strength, it should be enough to guard most small forwards in the league. If he proves to be adequate, everything is rosy. His offensive prowess would surely lessen the blow of lackluster defense. But things tend to go wrong in Minnesota. And if Derrick Williams wakes up and sees Michael Beasley staring back at him in the mirror, the Wolves are back to where they started.

For the last few months, I haven’t been able to type his name without checking Google to make sure I didn’t get his last name wrong. It’s a name that just sounds too familiar — the first name shares likeness with one of the biggest superstars in the league today in Derrick Rose, and the last name with Deron Williams, which happens to sound nearly identical to Derrick Williams. What’s in a name? Nothing and everything. But it’s what people hear before they see the skills. It’s the carrier of adoring praise and overwhelming burdens. And I fear that if Derrick Williams isn’t a very good player, I’ll be looking at his name on a statsheet one day wishing he was someone else.

Of course, that was only in the first 20 minutes of the draft. Then over the course of three hours, the Wolves made sure to take as many steps as possible to acquire three future draft picks.  It started with trading formerly coveted guard Jonny Flynn, which came off as a startling admission from GM David Kahn that he is indeed aware of his errors, and not just a man far removed from reality. And that’s a start. It really is.

So Flynn and the No. 20 pick were traded to the Houston Rockets and became Brad Miller, No. 23 and No. 38. Then No. 23 became No. 28 and No. 43. Then No. 28 became No. 31.  No. 31 became cash, and remember No. 38? It changed its mind and limped its way back to Houston.

If that’s too convoluted — and it’s it is entirely too convoluted — the tangible additions to next season’s Wolves are Brad Miller and the No. 43. Brad Miller recently had microfracture surgery and he’s old. As for the No. 43? Well…

After three years of toil in Ben Howland’s system, the chains and shackles are off for Malcolm Lee. In three years at UCLA, Lee watched as the hype turned to scrutiny, which ultimately turned to ambivalence. He went from being a high-flying act in high school to a no-frills off-guard at UCLA. There was nothing spectacular about his college campaign, but what he developed should show immediately during training camp. At 6’5″ and a lean 200 pounds, Lee has enough size to guard both backcourt positions, a noteworthy skill he possessed back in high school that only got better by his junior year. He is an NBA-caliber defender right now with long arms and quick feet. Strength has always been an issue with Lee, but he’s taken a lot of time to tone and build muscle in his upper body, evidenced by his 17 reps in the bench pressing portion of the Pre-Draft Combine — only two less than fellow rookie teammate Derrick Williams, who recorded the highest number of reps in the combine, and easily outweighs Lee by at least 50 pounds.

Offensively at UCLA, Lee scored off the ball on dribble handoffs and diving into the paint. While he still needs to work on his strength to finish near the rim at the NBA level, Lee is extremely athletic and has great body control, which should help with the learning curve. In workout interviews, Lee specifically mentioned his desire to learn the ins and outs of the pick and roll, seeing himself as a point guard. With Ricky Rubio and Luke Ridnour perfectly capable at the 1, that might not be imperative, but Lee can create for himself and others, something that’s been missing on the roster for years. Most importantly, Lee finds himself transplanted from a slow and methodical UCLA team to one of the fastest teams in the league. But if UCLA teaches anything to its NBA prospects, it’s how to adapt. Though it’s not hard to adapt to an environment that was once your domain.

Is Lee a perfect fit? No, but how many players on the team are? Outside of Rubio and Kevin Love who are the pure in their positions, the Wolves are a band of players who would probably be better off playing a different position.

“I can assure you it won’t fit perfectly.”

- David Kahn saying obvious things during the post-draft press conference

Damn right it won’t. Kahn is heavily banking on the power of versatility, but at some point, some semblance of a hierarchy has to be established. But I guess that’s for another time. There’s no room for negativity killing this post-draft euphoria, and no room for projecting the likelihood of Kahn trading Lee for a veteran just for the sake of getting older. Because as it stands right now, the Minnesota Timberwolves got better after the draft. Of course, on draft night it felt like watching a million torpedoes launching in different directions threatening to destroy everything, but somehow they didn’t. Somehow, in the end, the Timberwolves were unscathed.

…An improvement as only David Kahn could produce.

(Just so it’s clear, I’ve taken the liberty of ignoring the whole ‘Ta(n/r)guy Ngombo is actually a really old dude’ situation. He was never going to step on the court, so I thought of it as an entertaining sideshow/non-event.)

Discernible Truths Of An Indefinable Player

Photo via Stuck In Commons on Flickr

One of the frustrating truths of the NBA is the incessant need to draw parallels to preexisting archetypes. Kobe is Jordanesque. Lebron has run the gambit from Magic to Oscar. Even the Blakeocalypse isn’t free from this gratuitous treatment, existing in many a mind’s eye as an amalgam of Charles Barkley, Karl Malone and Dominique Wilkins. To be sure it’s a necessary evil to many, allowing us to identify the traits and strengths of today’s players in an effort to understand why certain individuals and teams rise above the fray. Even just the simple act of identifying players’ specific strengths makes their place easier to define in the context of the team and the game itself.

Consider the Clippers. Blake Griffin is the interior presence, a blossoming, dominant low-post scorer with the necessary strength, athleticism and smarts to obliterate defenders near the basket and control the glass. Eric Gordon is the explosive backcourt scorer, difficult to defend off the dribble, a significant perimeter shooting threat and a guard who can create when he wants to do so. In the eyes of most, these two represent the future of the “other” Los Angeles franchise, the sun, the moon and the stars. It’s an easy argument to make, surely one that is difficult to refute in almost any scope.  But neither player holds the key to the Clippers future as that all important x-factor.

Enter DeAndre Jordan – a player lacking any discernable, consistent strength, yet the key to it all.

First we need to consider Jordan’s game as it stands: raw, developing, a growing anthology of explosive potential and jaw dropping highlights, but without a definable quality. In many ways the budding 7-footer’s role on offense is akin to that of an overgrown wide receiver, toss it up and go get it big fella. Not that this style of play hasn’t been without its benefits to the Clippers and created nightmarish scenarios for opposing defenses. Jordan’s length and athleticism has made him the 6th most effective pick and roll finisher in the NBA at 1.38 points per possession according to Synergy Sports. Using this same metric he ranks in the top 50 in transition finishes. This doesn’t even take into account the other 50% of his offense which is built around hitting the offensive glass and moving without the basketball – both areas that he has shown marked improvement from a season ago.

Yet despite existing in the realm of the Clippers offense as an explosive ball of matter, devoid of any distinct form, Jordan’s ever present potential for the amazing is what makes him such a vital part of the offense. In short, he is a distraction to defenses. Double team Blake Griffin and the rookie is savvy enough to get the ball to his frontcourt compatriot for a dynamic finish. It’s a telling sign that for a player of Griffin’s ilk, Synergy Sports shows he is faced with a hard double team on only 5% of his post-up possessions. As much potential as Jordan shows for the future, right now for all intents and purposes he serves as the NBA’s biggest prop.

It would seem defense is an apparent strong point for Jordan – clearly it shows in his monstrous blocks – but even here the big man remains far from a guarantee from night to night. The proclivity to undergo mental lapses proves a pestilent characteristic in his ability to dominate this side of the floor, something he clearly has the ability to do. The fact that Jordan maintains a total rebound rate of 16 – well above average – while playing alongside Griffin is a testament to his glass cleaning abilities. Furthermore, while the third-year pro serves as a means for making offense easier on the growing star, he helps divert attention from the fact that he has thus far proved to be a mediocre defender. For all of his still frustrating inconsistencies, Jordan is a disruptive force of a defender, holding opponents to .8 points per possession.

So where does this athletic mass of arms and potential fit? Why is he so vital to the future of the Clipper franchise? Because much like a budding tomato plant, Los Angeles can guide the growth of one of their most valuable assets to meet their needs. His morphing, moldable talents and abilities provide a litany of possibilities at both ends of the floor without forcing his team to accommodate, but rather plug him in when needed. Subpar athleticism in the frontcourt yields a slew of pick and roll finishes at the basket. Gordon and Davis feeling the need to put up shots from the outside, send Jordan to the glass to clean up around the rim.

Defensively there have been flashes of smothering the low post and harassing stretch fours, so the roll adapts on a game by game basis in way that no one else on the Clippers roster can possibly duplicate. What isn’t up for debate is his current and future status as the anchor of this unit, an anchor that will only become further entrenched as he becomes a more cerebral player.

The ultimate irony of Jordan’s presence and development lies in that he exists as one of the Clippers most valuable commodities lacks a defined role in a game that for so long has placed a premium on defining roles. As early as midway through his freshman season at Texas A&M he was labeled as quite possibly the biggest high risk, high reward player in his draft class and it would appear Los Angeles has broken the bank with this reward. The only question now remains, which archetype will we be drawing on to properly label Jordan in the not too distant future?

Blake Griffin: Army of Great


(Apologies for the lateness. I had a thing.)

We’re doomed. I realize that now.

It was inevitable, really. We all wanted it. That player who would change things. The unstoppable force of nature. The nexus of violence, improvisation, tenacity, fearlessness, and fear-of-God-giving talent. And so we’ve been given him. Which is too bad, because there’s nothing to stop him from reigning fire down upon all of us.

“YOU GET A POSTER! AND YOU GET A POSTER! AND YOU GET A POSTER!”

There’s no stopping him now, of course. Now that he realizes what he can do. Now that he faced down LeBron. Kobe. Think about that. The team’s won 16 freaking games because they’re the GD Clippers and still, their hit list is impressive. Check it out.

Heat. Hornets. Lakers. Bulls. Knicks. Spurs. Suns.

He had eleven points versus the Nets and 24-14-6 against the Heat. The more we throw at him the stronger he becomes.

Moving past the hyperbole, we haven’t seen anything like this in the modern era. It hearkens back to glimpses of what we would have seen in Shaq’s rookie season. Or Kareem’s. No, literally. Except he has none of Shaq’s silly pompousness and need for attention, nor the aloof detachment of Kareem. He dunks on everyone, everyone, everyone, then stares them down. He’s unapologetically awesome, and in doing so, he’s the promise of greatness.

Great.

That word is what we hope for all those misbegotten freakshows who wind up as nothing more than “athletic” rotation guys who never really amount to everything. That they’ll put that athleticism to good use, work on developing some semblance of a repertoire and attack, attack, attack. And in the meantime, Griffin’s doing things which shouldn’t even be physically possible. Exhibit A:

THAT SHOT GOES IN, FOR GOD’S SAKE. What angle is that? Is it possible? Even if it was, how is it possible from a 21-year-old forward out of a post-spin in his first season when the entire defense is trying to stop, specifically him? HOW?

But wait! There’s more!

Again, with the insanity. He’s lifting off for a layup out of a driving post-spin by using Jeff Foster’s face as a launchpad. This isn’t reality. This is Blakeverse. He’s owning all of us. Clippers games are now must-watch. This is the organization employing Baron Davis, run by the worst owner in professional sports history, playing without their starting center, and yet people are staying up just to watch this… thing destroy everything in its path.

Zach touched on this the other day,  but the absurdity of this moment should not pass us by. Which is why I won’t resort to worrying about him breaking something as he goes splaying to the floor for the fortieth time. I’m not going to focus on his defense (which actually isn’t that bad if you trust Synergy Sports- 30% FG% in ISO, but 50% in the post), or his awareness or his jumper (how is he hitting threes with that shot?). I’m just going to enjoy this. And revel in the fear.

This is really too good to be true. And while there is part of me waiting for it to be pulled out from under me and another questioning what set of Basketball Gods would give Donald Sterling this revelation in the draft, it does no good. There’s a chance, no matter how slim, that we’ve stumbled on the next one-man Army of Great, and we’ll have to face that reality.

If you need me, I’ll be in the bunker.

Dunk it; We want page views: Blake Griffin oops that alley, son

Blake Griffin is a dunker. We’ve talked about this.

Now we show you:

Blake Griffin: Redemption for the reluctant

Probably my favorite show of all time is The Shield.

The Shield was a drama on FX for seven seasons in which Vic Mackey ran a special team of detectives who weren’t always on their oath-sworn side of the law. They dealt drugs, harbored fugitives, started gang wars, killed countless people and were always trying to create their own 401k of skimmed money and whatever pile of cash they could illegally get their hands on. Vic Mackey, the most crooked cop of the team and moral compass defacer, headed up the team.

Throughout the seven seasons of the show, the theme of redemption and the idea of making things right seemed to saturate the main characters. They always had a chance to steer to the right side of the law, clean up the streets in a legal way and stop pissing on the line they constantly stepped over. Sometimes the characters showed great contrition in the deeds they had done. And other times, Vic Mackey and his partners were beyond recalcitrant for the sake of being difficult as they figured out how to climb out of the latest hole they had dug for themselves.

Redemption presented itself constantly, and you often hoped they would stop breaking the law they were supposed to protect.

Blake Griffin is redemption.

Blake Griffin has taken over the NBA in a way we really haven’t seen since Vince Carter in 1999. Sure, LeBron James and Carmelo Anthony were being dubbed as the new Magic-Bird rivalry in 2003 and we’ve all seen the early hype from young stars like Derrick Rose, Kevin Durant, and Andrea Bargnani (just checking to see if you’re still paying attention). But when’s the last time a player was wowing us every time down the floor?

When was the last time we truly gave a damn about the Clippers? Have we ever truly given a damn about the Clippers? They’ve been the punch line to many NBA and owners hating brown people jokes over the years. And yet now they have people considering a playoff berth despite the fact the team started this season 5-21.

We haven’t seen this kind of star kick down the door for a little breaking and entering into America’s households since Vince Carter. Vince was the next big thing. Maybe we forced that title upon him when he was unwilling to embrace it, but regardless of his acceptance of where we wanted him in the history of the NBA folklore, it was his to own.

He played along early on in his career because it was probably pretty fun. He got the veteran versions of his peers who had seen it all before to drop their jaws to the floor and grab their ankles. He did spectacular feats we never knew were possible. He was THE reason to watch SportsCenter every night. He didn’t invent YouTube but he might as well have.

And yet, as his stardom grew to insane heights, his reluctance built itself into a nice little cocoon of discomfort. We begged him to be what we needed to fill Michael Jordan’s void. He grew complacent in his ability to care about what we needed him to care about. Time after time, Vince Carter was given a second, third, or eighth chance to be what we asked of him. Time after time, Vince Carter proved to hate trying to be what we desired.

Over a decade later, Vince Carter is being given his redemption by a locomotive from Dante’s Inferno.

Blake Griffin is an Absinthe hallucination.

Nothing he does is real. It’s all created in our minds and hearts through some inebriated state of fandom. He is the wet dream of Nielsen Ratings. If you were to create a player in NBA 2K11, you’d GameShark your way to an infinite amount of skill points and build the 250 lbs propulsion device that is Blake Griffin.

It’s not that he’s inventing the art of dunking or the concept of the highlight play. That was down decades ago. It’s that he’s doing these things with a ferocity that is both sexually gratifying and completely animalistic in its nature. He’s relentlessly violent in the way he attacks the rim. Cut him off from the dunk and he’ll just hang in the air until he finds the right angle for his shot.

Talking about his motor would often be as cliché as asking him to take things one game at a time and give 110%. But the guy works himself into complete exhaustion in a way that makes the Energizer Bunny want to throw down the drum set, put his feet up on the ottoman, and see if Lamar Odom is going to have an awkward conversation with whatever it is we’re calling “Bruce Jenner” on the newest Keeping Up With The Kardashians.

At 6’10” he has the handle of a mid-level exception earning combo guard. We’ve seen his jumper extend comfortably out to the 3-point line on occasion and his touch off the glass from 2 feet or 16 feet makes you all tingly inside. If LeBron James is what it would be like if Karl Malone was a point guard, then Blake Griffin is what it would be like if LeBron James decided to swallow his pride and become the power forward some of us have hoped he’ll want to be.

We’re getting to the point in which the absurd is becoming routine and each new stat line and performance is becoming preposterous. An oversized Adonis dribbling into the lane, spinning off his defender and gathering himself for a tomahawk dunk that would be a felony in 13 states is only mildly entertaining because I’m still thinking back to the time he checked Timofey Mozgov for lice before he literally threw the ball into the basket from up above.

It’s not all limericks and fuzzy navels with Blake. His defensive awareness is alarmingly out of touch and you’re always going to be afraid he’s one big fall from snapping into his knee ligaments like a Slim Jim. But don’t we worry about that with every budding high-flyer?

The Los Angeles Clippers finally have clout for the first time in their franchise’s history. There have been moments and seasons of becoming a breakthrough performer with this organization before but for the most part, they managed to ruin it for themselves in the most embarrassing of ways. Now, Blake Griffin is putting together one of the most impressive athletic ventures in the history of competition – making the Clippers a winner.

The exciting thing with Griffin is he has so much room to grow. I think he’ll become a good defender and shore up his game with more succinct, efficient ways of dominating all around the floor. But there is no guarantee he’ll ever be better than what he is now. The fun part is going to see him go from just getting by on raw instinct to letting his understanding of the league shape the next wave of highlights that crash over us.

Blake Griffin is not just becoming the most exciting part of an NBA that has a restored Lakers-Celtics rivalry adding to the history books and the conglomeration of superstars forming in groups of three to try to overtake them. He’s letting the disappointing and reluctant stars of NBA’s past off the hook for not living up to our expectations. He’s absolving the sins of those who haven’t met our anticipations.

Who knows where Blake Griffin takes us next.

I’m just excited I found a new favorite show.

Have Ball, Will Travel: Blake Griffin

‘Have Ball, Will Travel’ is a recurring video feature here at Hardwood Paroxysm, in which we take a closer look at debatable traveling calls and non-calls with documented rule in mind.

In this installment, we’ll look at one gem from Blake Griffin’s gaudy Saturday night highlight reel. On this particular play, Griffin mutilates Danilo Gallinari in transition by way of a beautiful spin move.

Beautiful though it may be, Griffin’s move is a debatable travel on one level, and a subtle — but certain — travel on another.

It’s clear that after his collect, Griffin proceeds to take three steps, a violation of the traveling rule‘s most basic tenet. According to the incredibly vague rhetoric in the rulebook, players on the move are not entitled to a pivot upon the completion of their two steps following the end of their dribble, which makes Griffin’s third and final plant before elevation an illegal step.

(Plus, if you’re the type to argue to for the pivot’s legality in this case, take a careful look at the final angle in the video. Griffin doesn’t jump off of both feet at once; he actually uses that plant as a full third step.)

In this instance, Griffin takes three steps after his collect, which should have been easily whistled for a violation. Whoops.

Additionally, Griffin commits the same error that Andray Blatche committed earlier this month: he takes two consecutive steps by hopping on the same foot. According to the NBA’s Video Rulebook, “an offensive player with the ball may not hop consecutively on the same foot upon ending his dribble.”  By not keeping his foot planted during the spin, Griffin sets himself up for a travel, which he commits when he re-plants his left foot to explode toward the basket.

Griffin can still have this sequence for his YouTube résumé, but only because he managed to blind the officiating crew with a fluid spin and a massive finish.

Hat tip to Zarren Kuzma for recommending this play.

Hail, Hail, Blake Griffin

Dear gravity,

You need not apply.

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