It’s baaaaack… Fellow Paroxite James Herbert and I will be working on our facial expressions. And in the spirit of Christmas, which by the time you read this will be long gone, we’ll be determining who was naughty and who was nice. It’s what Santa would have wanted. Â
Take it away, Matt Damon and Ben Affleck:
[flash http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rngjZ10yUyA&feature=player_embedded]
Lion Face: Carmelo Anthony
Okay, maybe not the most pristine performance as a point forward (some bad reads and passes), but it didn’t matter. This was one of Melo’s finest performances period. 37 points on 17 shots. He took and made almost as many free throws (13-15) as his number of attempted field goals. Open shots, step-through three-pointers, contested fadeaways. Again: 37 points on 17 shots, which should be totally sustainable. But seriously, it’s  great to see New York basketball back. And as one of the many Melo detractors on the interwebs, I really wouldn’t mind seeing more performances like this in the near future. – Danny Chau
Lemon Face: Toney Douglas
[flash http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QVl2QfGR16k]
I’m starting to hate this meme. Because he doesn’t do good. He shoots everything and anything. He bricks threes. He vastly overrates the touch on his runners and floaters. What he doesn’t do (because he doesn’t really know how) is run a team. And you can’t expect someone to do something he doesn’t know how to do. Douglas led the Knicks in field goal attempts with 19. That’s two more than Melo, who scored 18 more points. The Knicks need a point guard in the worst way, but they officially do not have a single capable soul on the roster. Iman Shumpert, their pet project (whose problems are very much similar to Douglas’s) has gone down with a knee injury, and Mike Bibby is not capable of anything. So this means more of Douglas doing what he do. Have fun, New York. And hope to every deity in the universe and beyond that Melo figures out this “point forward” thing. -DC
Lion Face: Rajon Rondo
He made jump shots. Plural. Oh, and, 31 points (on 19 shots!), 13 assists, 5 boards, 5 steals, OH NO I’M BECOMING MR. BOXSCORE. Okay, Rondo was responsible for pretty much anything positive the Celtics’ did on offense. His shot looked smoother at the free throw line and on J’s. In the third quarter alone, he had 10 points and six assists. The Knicks in that quarter? One assist. I’m mad the Celtics dropped this and it’s not because I’m anti-Knick. I just hate that Boston wasted his performance. Also, I’m glad nobody heard the noise I made when this happened:
[flash http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TOfqfyc5e3w]
I missed that so much. Â -James Herbert
Lemon Face: Shump Shump Sprained Sprained His Knee Knee
Don’t act like you’re too cool to like Iman Shumpert. Yeah, some Knicks fans have ridiculously high expectations and yeah, dude shot 3-13 and a lot of them were easy shots. But hey, a lot of them were easy shots! Shump’s mistakes were endearing to me — he’d make a nice move, then he’d flub a layup and I’d be like, “Awww, Shump Shump! You’ll finish it next time.†After colliding with Chris Wilcox, next time won’t be for another 2-4 weeks. This might actually mean 2-4 weeks of Mike Bibby. I thought we were past that, NBA. -JH
Lion Face: Miami Heat Offense / DOUBLE ALLEY-OOP
[flash http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ul9iPU2pQVQ]
Wade in the post. LeBron in the post. Neither settled for wily, contested three-pointers because there was very little need to do so. If this is a preview of what’s to come, the league should be petrified. Sure, Dallas looked awfully out of sync, but the Heat are finally in their element thanks to Erik Spoelstra’s willingness to loosen the reins a bit. Oh, and about that alley-oop. This team has a knack for making the spectacular seem ordinary. LeBron turned a potentially bad situation (a blown dunk or a steal by Marion) into an easy two points with a play that was both loud and understated at the same time. The game is really easy for the Heat right now. It’s incredible/frightening. – DC
Lemon Face: Vince Carter and Lamar Odom
It’s almost unfair to single out one Maverick, so I picked two. While failing against Miami was a TEAM effort, these two recent acquisitions stood out. VC missed the Mavs’ first two shots of the game and finished 2-6 from the floor. He was benched at the start of the second half in favor of Delonte West. Odom went 1-6, got himself ejected halfway through the third, and kept showing up in reality show commercials all damn day. -JH
Lion Face: Andris Biedrins
I love the version of Biedrins that enjoys basketball! I keep reminding myself it’s just one game, but he looked engaged and confident and this is exciting, dammit. Good Andris Biedrins protected the basket and had a weird knack for getting rebounds in traffic when people really should be outmuscling him. He also finished at an incredibly high rate. I’ve no idea where he went for two years, but Good Andris Biedrins showed up. Is it just that he’s finally healthy? Has Mark Jackson fixed him? Was it just a Christmas miracle? -JH
Lemon Face: Chauncey Billups
It’s one thing to be a fun-suck by making safe and ordinary decisions (which are probably for the best). It’s another to disrupt the flow of the game with ill-advised shots. Billups went 6-19 from the field, so yeah, even Toney Douglas shot better than him from the field. Most of his misses came from threes that he was just so confident he’d make. Open, contested, it didn’t matter — though this has been the case for years now. Problem is, he’s playing alongside the best point guard of this generation and the most promising young big man in the game. He shouldn’t be taking the most shots in the game, especially when he’s missing more than twice as many as he’s made. Billups, I get it. You didn’t want to get pushed around by teams. But you’re in a good opportunity right now. Stop trying to sabotage it.
Of course, the performance would’ve been a lot more worrisome if the Clippers lost. Winning is a spray-on band-aid. - DC
Lion Face: DeAndre Jordan
Eight blocks, and a thousand other altered shots while only committing two fouls. This is noteworthy, since DeAndre had three or more fouls in 72.5% of the games he played last season. DeAndre was impressive on defense last night to say the least. His effort on surely mask his woes at the free throw line. Speaking of which… -Â DC
Lemon Face: Mark Jackson’s Hack-A-DeAndre Tactic
[flash http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ah3eg8bBPaM&start=001&end=007]Â -Â DC
Lion Face: Ryan Anderson’s Fantasy Basketball ValueÂ
Ryan Anderson is sitting by himself in a dining hall at an elongated dinner table feasting. The Magic, as currently constructed, don’t have a clear-cut second or third option, and all signs seem to point to Anderson to fill those spots on some nights. He’ll have plenty of opportunities to camp out behind the three point line as shown by his 6-12 shooting from three last night. It’ll be unreasonable to expect a double-double every night, but Anderson is a capable rebounder who should be able to get six or seven a night. If Anderson improves his rebounding numbers, he could be what Troy Murphy was for fantasy basketball a few years ago, except a much more prolific outside threat. Pick him up in the late rounds and shock your friends with your competence. – DC
Lemon Face: Metta World Peace
I’m not ready for MWP to be this bad. I felt like something terrible was about to happen every time he touched the ball and, most of the time, I was right. And when did he get so slow? -JH
Lion Face: Derrick Rose’s Threes
The story is his game-winner over Pau Gasol, but what I’m really excited about is his stroke. Rose made four of his six three point attempts. This one time I wrote about how working on his post game shouldn’t come at the expense of becoming a more consistent shooter. It’s just one game, but man, those shots looked effortless. -JH
Lemon Face: Derrick Rose’s Free Throws
There were none. He went 0-0. We’ve been saying it forever: this shouldn’t happen to the point guard version of LeBron. -JH
Lion Face: The Bulls’ Last Second Stop
[flash http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VNvmLnvsIdw]
It took me a few replays to realize it was Deng who blocked it. How beautiful is that, everyone converging, no one coming close to fouling him? -JH
Lemon Face: Luol Deng’s Haircut
[flash http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J43xQ4dTAxY] – DC


















