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Tag Archive - Ryan Anderson

Lion Face/Lemon Face 12/25/11: The Return Of Lion Face/Lemon Face

December 26, 2011 in by with 2 Comments

It’s baaaaack… Fellow Paroxite James Herbert and I will be working on our facial expressions. And in the spirit of Christmas, which by the time you read this will be long gone, we’ll be determining who was naughty and who was nice. It’s what Santa would have wanted.  

Take it away, Matt Damon and Ben Affleck:

[flash http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rngjZ10yUyA&feature=player_embedded]

Lion Face: Carmelo Anthony

Okay, maybe not the most pristine performance as a point forward (some bad reads and passes), but it didn’t matter. This was one of Melo’s finest performances period. 37 points on 17 shots. He took and made almost as many free throws (13-15) as his number of attempted field goals. Open shots, step-through three-pointers, contested fadeaways. Again: 37 points on 17 shots, which should be totally sustainable. But seriously, it’s  great to see New York basketball back. And as one of the many Melo detractors on the interwebs, I really wouldn’t mind seeing more performances like this in the near future. – Danny Chau

Lemon Face: Toney Douglas

[flash http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QVl2QfGR16k]

I’m starting to hate this meme. Because he doesn’t do good. He shoots everything and anything. He bricks threes. He vastly overrates the touch on his runners and floaters. What he doesn’t do (because he doesn’t really know how) is run a team. And you can’t expect someone to do something he doesn’t know how to do. Douglas led the Knicks in field goal attempts with 19. That’s two more than Melo, who scored 18 more points. The Knicks need a point guard in the worst way, but they officially do not have a single capable soul on the roster. Iman Shumpert, their pet project (whose problems are very much similar to Douglas’s) has gone down with a knee injury, and Mike Bibby is not capable of anything. So this means more of Douglas doing what he do. Have fun, New York. And hope to every deity in the universe and beyond that Melo figures out this “point forward” thing. -DC

Lion Face: Rajon Rondo

He made jump shots. Plural. Oh, and, 31 points (on 19 shots!), 13 assists, 5 boards, 5 steals, OH NO I’M BECOMING MR. BOXSCORE. Okay, Rondo was responsible for pretty much anything positive the Celtics’ did on offense. His shot looked smoother at the free throw line and on J’s. In the third quarter alone, he had 10 points and six assists. The Knicks in that quarter? One assist. I’m mad the Celtics dropped this and it’s not because I’m anti-Knick. I just hate that Boston wasted his performance. Also, I’m glad nobody heard the noise I made when this happened:

[flash http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TOfqfyc5e3w]

I missed that so much.  -James Herbert

Lemon Face: Shump Shump Sprained Sprained His Knee Knee

Don’t act like you’re too cool to like Iman Shumpert. Yeah, some Knicks fans have ridiculously high expectations and yeah, dude shot 3-13 and a lot of them were easy shots. But hey, a lot of them were easy shots! Shump’s mistakes were endearing to me — he’d make a nice move, then he’d flub a layup and I’d be like, “Awww, Shump Shump! You’ll finish it next time.” After colliding with Chris Wilcox, next time won’t be for another 2-4 weeks. This might actually mean 2-4 weeks of Mike Bibby. I thought we were past that, NBA. -JH

Lion Face: Miami Heat Offense / DOUBLE ALLEY-OOP

[flash http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ul9iPU2pQVQ]

Wade in the post. LeBron in the post. Neither settled for wily, contested three-pointers because there was very little need to do so. If this is a preview of what’s to come, the league should be petrified. Sure, Dallas looked awfully out of sync, but the Heat are finally in their element thanks to Erik Spoelstra’s willingness to loosen the reins a bit. Oh, and about that alley-oop. This team has a knack for making the spectacular seem ordinary. LeBron turned a potentially bad situation (a blown dunk or a steal by Marion) into an easy two points with a play that was both loud and understated at the same time. The game is really easy for the Heat right now. It’s incredible/frightening. – DC

Lemon Face: Vince Carter and Lamar Odom

It’s almost unfair to single out one Maverick, so I picked two. While failing against Miami was a TEAM effort, these two recent acquisitions stood out. VC missed the Mavs’ first two shots of the game and finished 2-6 from the floor. He was benched at the start of the second half in favor of Delonte West. Odom went 1-6, got himself ejected halfway through the third, and kept showing up in reality show commercials all damn day. -JH

Lion Face: Andris Biedrins

Biedrins looks like he hates basketball less this year
December 25, 2011 10:52 pm via TweetDeckReplyRetweetFavorite
@BeckleyMason
Beckley Mason

I love the version of Biedrins that enjoys basketball! I keep reminding myself it’s just one game, but he looked engaged and confident and this is exciting, dammit. Good Andris Biedrins protected the basket and had a weird knack for getting rebounds in traffic when people really should be outmuscling him. He also finished at an incredibly high rate. I’ve no idea where he went for two years, but Good Andris Biedrins showed up. Is it just that he’s finally healthy? Has Mark Jackson fixed him? Was it just a Christmas miracle? -JH

Lemon Face: Chauncey Billups

It’s one thing to be a fun-suck by making safe and ordinary decisions (which are probably for the best). It’s another to disrupt the flow of the game with ill-advised shots. Billups went 6-19 from the field, so yeah, even Toney Douglas shot better than him from the field. Most of his misses came from threes that he was just so confident he’d make. Open, contested, it didn’t matter — though this has been the case for years now. Problem is, he’s playing alongside the best point guard of this generation and the most promising young big man in the game. He shouldn’t be taking the most shots in the game, especially when he’s missing more than twice as many as he’s made. Billups, I get it. You didn’t want to get pushed around by teams. But you’re in a good opportunity right now. Stop trying to sabotage it.

Of course, the performance would’ve been a lot more worrisome if the Clippers lost. Winning is a spray-on band-aid. - DC

Lion Face: DeAndre Jordan

Eight blocks, and a thousand other altered shots while only committing two fouls. This is noteworthy, since DeAndre had three or more fouls in 72.5% of the games he played last season. DeAndre was impressive on defense last night to say the least. His effort on surely mask his woes at the free throw line. Speaking of which… - DC

Lemon Face: Mark Jackson’s Hack-A-DeAndre Tactic

[flash http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ah3eg8bBPaM&start=001&end=007] - DC

Lion Face: Ryan Anderson’s Fantasy Basketball Value 

Ryan Anderson is sitting by himself in a dining hall at an elongated dinner table feasting. The Magic, as currently constructed, don’t have a clear-cut second or third option, and all signs seem to point to Anderson to fill those spots on some nights. He’ll have plenty of opportunities to camp out behind the three point line as shown by his 6-12 shooting from three last night. It’ll be unreasonable to expect a double-double every night, but Anderson is a capable rebounder who should be able to get six or seven a night. If Anderson improves his rebounding numbers, he could be what Troy Murphy was for fantasy basketball a few years ago, except a much more prolific outside threat. Pick him up in the late rounds and shock your friends with your competence. – DC

Lemon Face: Metta World Peace

I’m not ready for MWP to be this bad. I felt like something terrible was about to happen every time he touched the ball and, most of the time, I was right. And when did he get so slow? -JH

Lion Face: Derrick Rose’s Threes

The story is his game-winner over Pau Gasol, but what I’m really excited about is his stroke. Rose made four of his six three point attempts. This one time I wrote about how working on his post game shouldn’t come at the expense of becoming a more consistent shooter. It’s just one game, but man, those shots looked effortless. -JH

Lemon Face: Derrick Rose’s Free Throws

There were none. He went 0-0. We’ve been saying it forever: this shouldn’t happen to the point guard version of LeBron. -JH

Lion Face: The Bulls’ Last Second Stop

[flash http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VNvmLnvsIdw]

It took me a few replays to realize it was Deng who blocked it. How beautiful is that, everyone converging, no one coming close to fouling him? -JH

Lemon Face: Luol Deng’s Haircut

[flash http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J43xQ4dTAxY] – DC


Hardwood Paroxysm’s Incomplete 2010-2011 NBA Previews: Orlando Magic

October 25, 2010 in by with 1 Comment

Yeah, yeah, we didn’t do one for every team. Not like you all won’t get your fair shake around here, for better or worse. Trust me, if you’re some of the teams out there, you don’t want to hear us talk about you.

But, with a little less than 48 hours to go before the season opener in Miami,we’re going to throw up some stuff discussing the upcoming season. And for starters, we bring you the Magic.

GUEST LECTURE

Today’s guest lecture comes from Eddy Rivera of MagicBasketball.Net. Eddy is a graduate student at Northwestern University and likes woolen socks.-Ed.


It’s championship or bust for the Orlando Magic. Like last year. But this year feels a little different. Yes, the Miami Heat are the proverbial elephant in the room and with LeBron James, Dwyane Wade, and Chris Bosh forming like Voltron, they will be the standard bearer in the Eastern Conference much to head coach Stan Van Gundy’s chagrin. Yes, the Boston Celtics remain the litmus test for the Magic, in the sense that the C’s will continue to be a difficult matchup with their personnel. The Celtics seemingly endless supply of big men, which begins with Kendrick Perkins (when healthy), Jermaine O’Neal, and ends with Shaquille O’Neal, will push the limits with Howard when the two conference rivals face off against each other.

Kanye West once said, “no one man should have all that power.”

However, there’s one player for Orlando that has the power to change everything that happens in the East and that’s Dwight Howard.

Since the Magic christened themselves as title contenders en route to their NBA Finals appearance in 2009, Howard has always had the power to determine his team’s road to a championship yet he’s come up short.

That’s why Howard is kicking things up a notch.

During the off-season, Howard spent a week in Houston working out with Hakeem Olajuwon and improving his low-post game. When video chronicling their training sessions surfaced on YouTube, the internet was abuzz. And when Orlando kicked off their preseason against — ironically — the Houston Rockets, the NBA was put on notice after Howard put on an offensive display against Yao Ming, blitzing him for 10 points in the first quarter when they were matched up head-to-head. Not just with hook shots, mind you, but with mid-range jumpers and spin moves. Granted, it was one game and Yao is not in tip-top form right now, but Howard doesn’t care (he pulled the same shenanigans against Emeka Okafor). Did I mention that Howard also sought out the wisdom of Karl Malone and another player that he would not name?

Howard is a man on a mission.

Correction. Howard is a serious man on a mission. No more goofing around. All the antics that people have been accustomed to seeing from Howard for the past six years when he’s on the court? No longer happening.

Losing sucks. Having the Heat take all the attention away from the Magic in the state of Florida, in the same conference, in the same division. That sucks, too. Those are some of the reasons why Howard has changed. Or if you take Howard’s word for it, he’s different because he “got older.”

Whatever the case may be, things have never been more interesting with Howard than they are right now. That’s precisely why Howard is one of the key players to watch in the league this season. For years, people have been waiting for Howard to fully evolve into a dominating two-way player.

Well, the wait might be over this year.

PLAYFUL TUNES:

PLAYER WHO COULD BE AN IMPACT GUY BUT PROBABLY WON’T BE:

Ryan Anderson. Why? Because I don’t trust SVG. That’s why. “Oh, he’s going to play Rashard more at the three.” “Oh, no, he’s not going to stick to a pure 4-out-1-in.” “Oh, he really believes in Anderson.” Don’t buy it. He’s a swindling mustachioed conniver trying to swindle me out of hope. That sonofagundy is giong to try and get me to buy into his mishmash nonsense of changing his ways, but I know better. Oh, Ryan will get minutes to start out. And he’ll play well. But then SVG will scream at him over some blown rotation where the other team doesn’t even score or for not being in position when Vince breaks the play anyway. And he’ll be back, buried, giving the sad panda face and trying not to cry on national television. I’m too smart for you, SVG. I’m not falling for your little nonsense anymore. I’m an adult now. An adults know: coaches don’t change.

(Possible exceptions: Larry Brown, Rick Carlisle, Rick Adelman, pretty much every coach ever.)

YOU SHOULD TOTALLY WATCH BECAUSE:

Good Goddamn can this team play basketball-o. Fast, strong, athletic, talented, skilled, versatile, efficient, dedicated, you got a superlative that’s good, they’ve got it. This is an incredibly good team on paper, and it translates on the floor for almost all the time. Boson detonating them like blowing up one of the legs of an underwater structure and watching the rigs fall into the ocean while the fish panic wasn’t them getting exposed, it was Boston getting revealed as one of the more dominant focus-level teams of the decade. The Magic shoot threes, dunk the ball, dribble-drive, play in transition, and defend like mad. There’s almost nothing to not like about this team.

YOU SHOULD TOTALLY HATE THIS TEAM BECAUSE:

They expose the true folly of underdogs in the NBA. Even when you’re the favorite, you’re not the favorite. That’s all I got. Oh,and they have this guy.

Ryan Anderson The Latest Victim Of Orlando’s Bench Sloth

June 1, 2010 in by with 1 Comment

Overall, Anderson showed flashes of brilliance, and I mean that. He scored in double-figures in 5 of his 6 starts, with the lone exception being a major outlier of a game in which he missed 10 of his 11 three-point attempts. And in back-to-back games in March, he scored 38 points in 43 minutes on 13-of-24 shooting. If he trims his usage a bit, improves his passing, and tightens up defensively, he could be a fringe All-Star within a few more years. Remember, he’s only 22, and has plenty of time to improve.

My worry is that he might not get that opportunity in Orlando, which owes Lewis more than $60 million over the next three seasons. Sure, Anderson can count on an uptick in playing time as Lewis ages, but he won’t crack 18 minutes per game. Will the Magic have the patience to stick with Anderson? Or will the long-term commitment to Lewis make Anderson expendable? I certainly hope, for the Magic’s sake, that they take the former approach. Anderson’s a rare talent. Big men who can shoot the three and rebound are valuable commodities in this league, especially surrounding a guy like Howard, who needs some space to work inside. Anderson’s the youngest of the players who fit that profile. I mean, compare some of his stats this year to those of Lewis’ All-Star campaign last year. Then consider his age. Then try to tell yourself that Anderson doesn’t belong.

via Evaluating Ryan Anderson – Orlando Pinstriped Post.

SVG is a tremendous coach. For all the ridiculous talk about panicking, the man simply wins, and does so while developing young talent. He hasn’t shown a reliance on any one particular facet (veterans being the common one), and has shown an ability to make adjustments when he needs to. He’s been bested because the other team was better. Not because he was somehow a failure. That said, his reluctance to rely on unproven players killed him this year just like it kills so many coaches.

I pondered this over at PBT only to watch it occur. I like to think Stan read my piece, realized the folly of his ways, and turned to J.J.

Or, you know, not.

Either way, he never did turn to Anderson. The struggle is this. You’re down 3-0. The Celtics have tossed you around the room like you’re a ragdoll and they’re some sort of demented toddler hellbent on destruction (or as I like to call him, “Big Baby Davis”). Nothing you have done has worked and you’re in desperate need of a stretch four that can knock down threes and rebound. “Oh, hey Ryan Anderson, sorry, didn’t mean to step on your foot… Anyway, WHERE COULD WE FIND SUCH A MAN?!”

Anderson’s production has been there. He’s a terrific asset, and he looks like the piece New Jersey shouldn’t have surrendered. That he’s now trapped three deep on Orlando is a shame. He’s capable of so much more, and if the Magic don’t want to use him, that’s fine, but let’s go see what he can do elsewhere. Trapping him long term in Orlando is a waste of his potential. If you’re not going to use him anyway, go get a Collins brother or someone else equally useless. Don’t pen up the kid that can shoot.

The small market teams should be making eyes at Orlando, offering to take Carter off their hands if they throw Ryan Anderson in. Getting a versatile perimeter forward with size, good health, and who’s young while tagging Carter for some cap space in order to better prepare yourself for the new CBA would be a pretty wise move. Either way, Anderson’s gotta get sunlight.