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Tag Archive - theknicksblow

My Life Has Just Been Turned Completely Upside-Down

November 21, 2008 in by with 0 Comments


Harrington to the Knicks for Crawford. Okay, I can deal with that. Really, really weird and nonsensical, but I can deal. But Randolph to the Clips for Mobley and Tim Thomas? Dear God.

This is basically the same deal proposed in the offseason, only now that Camby’s donning the white, blue, red, and whatever else the Clippers wear, actual players have to be included for salary cap reasons. For LA, they’re dumping some marginal talent for a guy who can legitimately score the damn basketball. But what the hell does their rotation look like? Do they start Randolph and Camby? Randolph and Kaman? Bring Zeebo off the bench? Who the hell knows. But Mobley and Thomas weren’t doing much, and Eric Gordon is sure to be the happiest man on the planet today. And Ricky Davis fans: your day of triumph has arrived. They pretty much have to play him big minutes now, right?

Of course for the Knicks, this is all about getting every contract off the books for 2010. As far as I can tell, they’re looking at (not including David Lee and Nate Robinson) Eddy Curry (PO), Jared Jeffries (PO), Wilson Chandler, and Danilo Gallinari for 2010. Little did they know that getting LeBron isn’t worth watching Cat Mobley and T-squared chuck up off-target threes every other night for two years. But if they’re willing to endure that, then power to them, I guess. But with Crawford out of the picture, does that make Mobley the starter in NYC? I’m praying that Pringles will start Chandler and Richardson instead, but who the hell knows after today’s events. Footnote of a footnote of a footnote: Mardy Collins was also included in the deal, removing another of the Knicks’ options at guard. I’ve never really been a fan of Collins and I think his passable defensive efforts don’t do enough to compensate for his offensive skills, but hey, whatever. The point is that this team just got a shakeup in the weirdest possible way. The big question will be what happens at the center position. Pringles was counting on starting Jared Jeffries coming out of camp, but a broken leg changed all that. So are we now looking at a center tandem of a healthy Jeffries and Al Harrington? Really? REALLY? I didn’t think it was entirely possible at this point for this Knicks roster to get weirder (and worse, for that matter), but here we go. Get rid of your two leading scorers, swap one Ninja Turtle starting at center for another, get two past-their-prime we-were-never-that-great-anyway-ers, and create just about the strangest team on paper that we’re likely to see this season. No one will accuse you of sitting idly by, Walsh. Of course all of this action is coming after the Knicks are actually winning some games, but I’m sure the NYC media will let you off the hook for that, right? (Run for your life, man.)

Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to go play some NBA 2k8 with a lineup of Thornton, DeAndre Jordan, Randolph, Camby, and Kaman. Take notes, MDSr. Maybe I’ll run it against Crawford, Morrow, Buike, Maggette, and Jax. GOD THESE TRADES MAKE NO SENSE AND I ABSOLUTELY LOVE IT.

EDIT: Ziller, coming up big in the clutch, has an estimated cap figure of $33 million for the Knickerbockers in 2010. He also writes that “today is a great day to be a Knicks fan.” I disagree. The first day of 2010′s free agency will be a great day to be a Knicks fan, but until then expect your fanlives to be a living hell. Enjoy!

Thanks For The Memories

April 3, 2008 in by with 0 Comments

The best recap of the Isiah Thomas Era. Truly amazing. I know you’re not gone yet, Zeke, but we’ll miss you anyway.

Why We Love The Knicks 2.19.08

February 19, 2008 in by with 1 Comment

The best part is the tagline on the video. “Afterwards, the Knicks score a record 23 points in overtime for the win.”

Yup. That’s the Knicks.

Above And Beyond The Call Of Duty

February 2, 2008 in by with 0 Comments

There are times when we are called to action in the face of mockery and ludicrousness. This is the story of one of those times.

Oh, how I love the New York Knicks.

Join Us!

December 19, 2007 in by with 0 Comments

Only you, dear readers, can help prevent the firing of our most beloved target, Mr. Isiah Thomas.

Please. Think of the Children.

http://www.petitiononline.com/isiah4vr/petition.html

12 Days of Christmas: The First Day

December 16, 2007 in by with 0 Comments

On the First day of Christmas, the NBA gave to me…

A Clusterf*ck Down At MSG…

Other NBA Days of Christmas: The Dream Shake.

The Weekend Bank Shot 11.30.07

November 30, 2007 in by with 1 Comment

We don’t want to leave you hanging over the weekend, so we’re expanding this from Friday through Sunday. Enjoy! Also, if anyone wants to go ahead and start prepping their resumes, I’m sure the Knicks front office will be having some openings any day now.

15 Reasons to Watch the Games of the National Basketball Association This Weekend

1. We Always Liked The Hammer Helmet Best: Okay, Jamario. We’ve been quiet on you all week. Here’s your shot. We like the stat lines. We like the highlight films. You’ve got the Lebronites sans Lebron, so… just the Ites tonight and the Zero-Zero Wizz tomorrow. You show up and punch this through for the Raps, you’ll be our new favorite hero. Which will of course doom you to mediocrity, injury, and failure. But still! People will know who you are! Go Super Jamario! Go!

2. He’ll Make You Fishers Of Men: Derek Fisher has been the veteran influence the Lakers have needed this season. If the Lakers aren’t a complete and utter sham that will fall apart like a flan in a cupboard by the All-Star break, Fisher will be the guy to lead them. If they want to keep up the happy happy joy joy party they’ve started this season, they need to man up because they’ve got the Jazz tonight and the Big Baby Jesus monster on Sunday. Good luck with that, kids.

3.Return Of The Mc (Via The Corndogg): Christmas has again come early for HP. Jelani McCoy is on the bench for the Nuggets. Who? Yeah, that guy. Back in the day he was a McDonald’s All American who was paid to play for Jim Harrick. Now, he is paid to play for George Karl. Both handle their teams the same way, with indifference, little attention to detail and appalled by chemistry. Good thing for us too, because the Big Mick should get some serious run after Melo tried to go all Undertaker on Sasha Vujocic last night. The Braided One might be sitting this one out. But honestly, Va-jay-jay probably deserved to get choked. So, in our book, Melo should get out of this.

4. He’s So Well Spoken (Via The Corndogg): That is about the only great thing you can say about Isiah now. Honestly (and again, sorry Posting and Toasting), but this is the single funniest headline I have ever read. So, in short, the Knicks will beat the Bucks by 15, while dishing out 25 assists on their 38 field goals. And they will blow them out of the East River in rebounding. “The NBA: Where Inconceivable Happens.”

5.Thank You Sir, May I Have Another (Via The Corndogg): More Lakers Tonight!!!! I hope Vujocic comes out wearing a neck brace (ed. note, That picture really does look like Vujocic). I hope Kobe carelessly scores 30. I hope Bynum and Turiaf perform their own version of the Dunk Contest. I HOPE THEY LOSE BY 45!!!! At least they play HP fav, Utah, who coincidentally, were the last team to lose to the Knicks. OUCH. Please NBA karma god thingy, let Boozer rain down upon these pricks like brimstone. Please!!!!
In other news, The Zen Master got a contract extension . Guess he really believes in these young guys. But, faith and a bag of feathers won’t by you much. See: Thomas, Isiah.

6.CP3′s Empire Strikes Back (Via The Corndogg): Thank Lucas, the Hornets get to leave K-ville (yeah, I don’t watch it either. I apologize for using it as a reference) and play in front of a slightly somewhat more enthusiastic crowd at the uhh, wait a minute, what’s that name… forget it. They get to play at the “whatever” dome in Atlanta against the team that is still kicking itself for not drafting him 3 years ago. And the Bugs need this one badly, dropping 4 of their last 5 after that crazy hot start. But CP3 was very honest and forthcoming last night in studio with Kenny, Charles and Ernie about how good his team is. He even Guaranteed they would be in the playoffs. Beating teams that you are supposed to, like the Hawks, would be a terrific start.

7. In The Real World This Is Referred To As “Slumming”: After hanging a fat one on the Knickerbockers, the Celtics get Miami tonight before the possibly No-Bron Cavs on Sunday. The Heat have been looking better lately, funny how that works when you get your best player (only good player?) back. Wade may need to draw a bazillion fouls tonight, and Z better hope El Tigre is feeling full after the feasting.

8.What Does Marko Jaric Have That I Don’t Have: Marko, Marko, Marko! If you are Manu or Oberto, you have to be dumbfounded by this. You are an NBA Champion. You are foreign. You are both good looking guys (in that foreign sort of way). You play in a city that at leasts attracts other top female talent. The best female talent in Minneapolis is freakin‘ Prince, for chrissakes. But now, Marko Jaric gets to bed this???? I mean, c’mon guys, at least you share a continent with the lady. Jaric is from freaking Yugoslavia. They can’t vacation there. And he probably has to keep Antoine Walker from sucking Adriana’s toes when she walks into the locker room. I mean, seriously. But at least you, Manurto, have the satisfaction of knowing that you two play well together, you both work hard, sacrifice and you are both winners. Well, not in life. That would be Jaric. But at least on the court. And that’s gotta count for something, right?

9. And Although He Is No Marko Jaric, You Must Now Believe That Lamarcus Aldridge Is Somehow, Probably Shoving 4 Leaf Clovers In His Jock : Talk about good fortune. First, you get passed over in the draft by the putrid Bulls. Then, you are though highly enough of to get Zach Randolph hurled into this. Then, you get a year to be the man while Oden recovers. Now, you get to make a trip back close to your home town of Seagoville, TX and show the suddenly vulnerable Mavs that they should have been suckling at your teat years ago when you were in high school. Except for the fact that your team is still a project, you’ve lost 7 of your last 8, you best backup is Joel Pryzbilla and you still have to look down at the end of the bench at this, I’d say you are pretty well set. Oh, and you know how terrible the Mavs are playing against inferior competition. So you got that going for you, which is nice.

10. And This One Was Juuuuuust Right: The Nets play Philadelphia Saturday and Detroit on Sunday. Which is appropriate, because that’s pretty much where the Nets are.Better than the Sixers, worse than the Pistons. We’re at Kidd Defcon 3 right now. If things don’t improve… aw, hell, he’s never getting out of there. What is it with God and keeping great point guards from championships lately?

11. If We Can Slow The Beast, We Can Take Him Down!: Orlando’s got Phoenix and LA this weekend, which is a rather interesting transposition. You’ve got Orlando with three superstars, tremendous talent, and no bench. Then there’s LA, with little veteran leadership, nothing but young bumpkins, and only one legitimate superstar. Orlando goes 2-0, we’re joining Shanoff on the Dwight Howard 4 MVP train.

12. It Was Fun While It Lasted: The Clip are 3-7. That sound you hear is us crying a little bit. Wait. Oh, yeah. Nevermind, life is wonderful!

13. The Light At The End Of The Tunnel? That’s A Train: The Knicks have to make it past a very good Bucks team tonight. Then they get a whole day off. Before the Phoenix Suns NBA Jam Turbo Edition of Doom comes to town. So if you know any Knick fans, please, take any sharp objects and put them away from them.

14. Trillion Watch! : Ryan Bowen. Mario West. Anyone that plays for the New York Knickerbockers.

15. Your Ridiculous Salary Of The Night: Jamario Moon for $427K. This is the opposite of our usual selections. Keep in mind that Andre Miller is making $9 MILLION this year. And he’s pretty good. But they’re getting Jamario Moon for $427K. He’s only making slightly less than Jo Paterno. Think about that. And enjoy your weekend.

Something Short and Funny for the Weekend…

November 30, 2007 in by with 0 Comments

and I don’t mean, Vern Troyer. While I was getting ready for work this morning, I was casually checking out espn (lower case intentional) for the stat lines for last night’s NBA games, in hopes of seeing how my fantasy team did. When they got to Boston/knicks (lower case intentional), they did the usual: show the score, show the records, show the top individual stats. Well, they showed KG, Pierce, and Allen’s stats from last night. Then, the funny happens. They do not even bother to show ANYONE from the knicks (again, lower case intentional) stats. Not a single person.
May I remind you, this is the kind of stuff the leader (lci) only does when they show teams like Duke or Carolina beating 1-AA Podunk Tech by 75 points!
They always show NBA stats, and you know why? Because, not matter how bad a team plays, at least 1 person will have a decent enough game to show his stats. Even in the NFL, when a team is shut out, they still show stats. So, not only does ESPN not care about fantasy owners (whose teams are being ruined by the knicks), there was not even 1 single player for nyk (lci) that had anything close to a decent game. Don’t believe me, look here. And the only reason Nate Robinson scored in double figure was because of a last second “who gives a flying f#ck” 3 that kept the knicks (lci) from their worst defeat in history.
On second thought, maybe the leader (lci) does care about fantasy. No one wants a heart attack like that after they traded for Marbury before the season started (unfortunately, I am talking about myself. However, I am still dominating the league). But seriously, this isn’t even funny anymore. It’t pathetic. It’s akin to torturing a mentally challenged amputee. Please stop this, for the love of the League.

An Open Letter To God From Us

November 29, 2007 in by with 0 Comments

Thank you. Thank you so much.

I know we sometimes get angry for things like the Spurs’ dominance, and Oden’s injury, and Kobe Bryant in general.

But then you give us something like this.

Scoreboard.

No, wait, let’s let the poor bastards at Knickerblogger.net break it down in detail (we’re so sorry, guys).

How about Posting and Toasting? How are they holding up? Oh, sh*t. Somebody get them a bag, or something.

We mean…

JESUS CHRIST, ISIAH!

I mean, we mentioned yesterday about your boys screwing the pooch so hard the Garden rises up like it’s the Bastille.

We’re way past the Bastille. This is full on cannibalism time.

W’ere blessed here at the HP with not having any particular allegiances. We dig the fast running teams, appreciate good defense, marvel at the great ones and the role players. That said, we want to extend a warm manfan-hug to all members of the Knicks nation. For years we took joy in a large market team being utterly annihilated by incompetence and ego. But this, this is too far. Sorry guys. Don’t worry. It’ll be over soon.